Humorous Lyrics

[Cogswel_Cogs]

What are your favorite by non comedian

My favorite

On the Road
Bob Dylan


Well, I wake up in the morning
There's frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she's a-hidin'
Inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin'
A Napoleon Bonarparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask ?

Well, I got to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
I ask who's in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in
He's wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that ?

Well, I asked for something to eat
I'm hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
I've got a hole
Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I gotta think you're really weird.

Your grandpa's cane
It turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets
Your uncle steals
And you ask me why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real.

Well, there's fist fight in the kitchen
They're enough to make me cry
The mailman comes in
Even he's gotta take a side
Even the butler
He's got something to prove
Then you ask me why I don't live here
Honey, how come you don't move ?

 

[PizzieDuster]

Hmmm, is Adam Sandler consider a comic?

The Wedding Singer. "But it all was ********". That's my favorite.

 

[Jennasis]

Some of my favorite songs that are funny (or at least make me laugh):

Pop Goes The Weasel (3rd Bass)
Forget You (Cee Lo Green...but I prefer the non family-friendly version)
She Hates Me (Puddle of Mudd)
Love Stinks (J Geils Band)
Loser (Beck)
Lump (Presidents of the United States if America)

 

[lizbaby007]

My dad would always sing this on long car trips when I was little and we would smell a skunk. I never knew it was a real song until I was an adult and heard it on an oldies station!

"Dead Skunk" by Loudon Wainwright

Crossin' the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The skunk got squashed and there you are!

You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

Take a whiff on me, that ain't no rose!
Roll up yer window and hold yer nose
You don't have to look and you don't have to see
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory

You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

Yeah you got yer dead cat and you got yer dead dog
On a moonlight night you got yer dead toad frog
Got yer dead rabbit and yer dead raccoon
The blood and the guts they're gonna make you swoon!
You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

C'mon stink!

You got it!
It's dead, it's in the middle
Dead skunk in the middle!
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high heaven!
All over the road, technicolor man!
Oh, you got pollution
It's dead, it's in the middle
And it's stinkin' to high, high Heaven

 

[PigletsPal2]

This is a very long, very nonsensical song I learned in Girl Scouts a hundred years ago. It's sung to a tune I guarantee you've never heard before. Don't ask me what I've forgotten because I remember this song.

Oh I was born
One night, one morn
When the whistle went toot toot

You could fry a cake or buy a steak
When the mudpies were in bloom

Does six and six make nine?
Does ice grow on a vine?

Is Old Man Joe an Eskimo
in the good old summertime?

Oh, you loo-de-loop in your noodle soup
Just to give your socks a shine

I'm guilty judge, I ate the fudge
Three cheers for auld lang syne

I cannot tell a lie, I stole an apple pie
It's on a tree, beneath the sea
Above the bright blue sky

Oh, if Easter eggs don't wash their legs
Their children will have ducks

I'd rather buy a lemon pie
For forty-seven bucks

Way down in Barcelonia
They jumped into the foamia

But that is all baloney-a
Paderewski, blow your horn TOOT TOOT!

And now I'm going to run away, never to show my face on this board again!

Queen Colleen

 

[willowsnn3]

I've always loved the lyrics to Margaritaville:

blew out my flip flop
stepped on a pop top
cut my heel
had to cruise on back home