After the show, all that scolding and projectile pooping make me want to hit the restrooms. It isn’t in the touring plans, but nature is a-calling. I turn to the stranger next to me and say, “Do you mind if I tinkle?” before realizing that, silly me, I can go anytime I like. No need to ask permission. You would think I’d be used to going to the bathroom alone by now.
I walk into the nearest bathroom. One of the stalls is occupied, and while that in itself is nothing to write home about, there is something else that catches my attention. This lady’s shoes face the toilet. They are right next to the toilet. In other words, I don’t think she has a child with her. So why she is standing right in front of the toilet is beyond me. Unless she’s perfected the stand-up pee. If that’s the case, I commend her. That would be an excellent and incredibly handy talent to have.
(Yes, these are the sort of things I write about in my trip report. Yes, you’re sorry you opened this thing.)
While walking to the next attraction I witness one of the most precious moments of my trip. And yes, of COURSE it involves children.
A family is coming out of the Tough To Be A Bug show. The mom and older brother are ahead of the other two. The dad is holding his two-year-old daughter’s hand and they’re walking out of the exit. This girl is absolutely beautiful: curly hair, adorable smile. She has leg braces on both of her legs, her feet are both rotated inward at an awkward angle, so she is a slow walker. Holding her daddy’s hand seemed to help stabilize her walking. She almost had a Frankenstein’s monster walk about her. Or Forrest Gump, if you will.
Instead of rushing to the next attraction, I slow my step and hang back. The dad decides to pick her up and put her on his shoulders so they can walk a little faster and catch up with the other two. No way. That little girl was having none of that. She wasn’t on his shoulders more than four seconds before she looked down at her daddy, pointed to the ground, and said, “Down, Daddy!” I don’t think he wanted to do it, but she was resilient. She kept demanded to be put down until he did it. With her feet firmly back on the ground, she goes back to her Frankenstein walk, refusing to take her daddy’s hand. He basically had to grab it without her permission because she was pretty unstable without it. Such a fiercely independent little girl.
I’m ahead of schedule. Looking at my watch, I still have a little time to kill before my 11:30 reservation at Tusker House. After getting a FastPass for Kilimanjaro Safari, I decide to hit the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail. I don’t think I’ve ever done this trail before, actually. It is mildly interesting, I guess. But I like the little research center hut the best. Lots of little things to explore here.
Oh look, the turtle is vegetarian too. Mmmmm....turtle food.
What the hell are you looking at?
There are these headphones that plays several animal sounds…a boy of about six is listening to them. Every time he hears a different animal, he would get all excited and yell the animal name at his mom, jumping up and down and just being generally adorable. “Elephant!” he squeals to his mom, jumping up and down, pointing to his head. Then he stops to listen to the next one. His eyes light up and he says, “Giraffe!”
Okay, I made that last one up.
Anyway, that cute little boy really made me miss Patrick. Ack! What is this salty discharge?
But enough about that. Let’s talk about what really matters. Food.
I show up to Tusker House about fifteen minutes early. I don’t know what time they open for lunch, but they weren’t letting me in before my reservation time one minute before. Back in the early summer, I read an amazing dining review by some anonymous young vegan lady about this restaurant. I have never eaten here before, nor has the Tusker House ever even been on my radar. But after reading her review, I was so impressed that I made a last-minute reservation. And it ended up being the best reservation of my entire trip.
The place is dead at opening. My waiter tells me to help myself at the buffet, and when I walk up I am the only one there. I cannot believe my eyes…there are so many vegetarian choices in front of me. So many, in fact, that I cannot fit it all onto my huge plate. Feeling like a hungry cat standing over a fish-filled aquarium, I plop lots of food on my plate in delight. I may have purred. I don’t remember.
Behold the first plate of vegetarian delight. With a piece of seafood or two. Notice the single samosa.
My second plate. Notice that there are now THREE samosas on my plate. They were goooooooood.
This is also why I'm not underweight.
Did I like it? Let’s just say that the food
exceeded my expectations. I was expecting
yum and I got
Oh my god. I ate everything on my plate and wasted no time getting up for a second one. I grab a few of my old favorites from my first plate, and try some new dishes that were passed up.
I take the plate back to my table and
Oh my god this second plate was as good as the first. Could it be…? Is it true…? Is this now my favorite restaurant in Disney World?
All signs point to yes.
I feel like a traitor, but I have to be honest. Yes, this food blows away Boma. It really does. It’s that good.
As full as I am by now, I do get up and waddle my stuffed butt back up to the buffet. Gotta get me some dessert to wash down all of that amazing food. And yes, the dessert rocked too. From beginning to end, Tusker House is a hands-down winner.
Thank you, anonymous young vegan lady.
Coming up: Part 3. You met the worst of them, now here’s one of the best
Ya know, I do know better, but somehow I thought that I could hold in my giggles. *hanging head in shame at my arrogance* But, in my defense, I think all hucifer posts should come with a disclaimer: Not to be read in any area where quiet is the expected mode of being.
it was definitely my own fault! Besides, without my gaff how would we have found out another of the Ride Nazi's diabolical powers? I'll be the sacrificial lamb, just this once... (or twice. we'll see how selfless I'm feeling.)
And here I was thinking the Goddess of Trucking was expending all her energy repaying her employer with that newfound knowledge garnered at the conference she attended!!!
There goes all THAT cred!!!
Well, I guess the magnetic Mickey counts for SOMETHING.
