Note: I renamed this segment because I found a much more appropriate title.
Dr. Seuss is a major influence in our household. Over the last few years, weve collected tens of Dr. Seuss books, and read them to Patrick countless times. I can recite One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish by heart, which isnt too shabby considering its 63 pages long. We love Dr. Seuss at Hucifer Manor.
One of my personal Dr. Seuss books is Marvin K Mooney Will You Please Go Now! Its a wonderful little book about a man named Marvin K Mooney who overstays his welcome. The narrator offers various ways that Marvin can leave via ridiculous objects and rhyming couplets. The book used to scare me as a child because of that enormous hand that threatens Marvin to leave, but it doesnt seem to bother Patrick so we throw the book in the nightly reading circulation. Anyway, as life will sometimes do, it mimics art. I saw a lot of Marvin in Jakie today.
Class is officially over, people are filing out of the room, but Jakie and I grab the brown bag lunches that Art himself prepares for us. Okay, maybe it was Disney that prepared them. Anyway, it is very thoughtful of Art to give us lunch. They even had a vegetarian lunch made for me. Jakie and I plop down at a table and eat its contents: sandwich, chips, fruit, brownie, water. It wasnt fancy, but it was substantial. And free.
Speaking of free
WE are free
Free at last! FREE!!!
It was the moment I dreamed of since Day One of class. It was finally time to hit the parks for good. We stepped outside and were embraced by one hot, sticky summer day. It feels good to me, especially after being in a freezer all morning, but Jakie immediately cringes and says how much she hates the heat. She does nothing to hide that shes miserable. And here it is, noon. The hottest part of the day. We have several hours of park time before Jakie has to leave for the airport, so we trek on to Epcot.
This is our third trip to Epcot, but weve done exactly one attraction here. So
first things first
Jakie absolutely must try Soarin. We beeline right for the best this park has to offer. The standby line was relatively short (20 minutes or so), so we hop right on.
Now, Jakie is pretty silent throughout most of our park tours. Except for the few comments Ive written, she really doesnt say much. So when were leaving Soarin, she says, That was a good ride. Which means she REALLY enjoyed that ride if she was willing to break her own personal code of silence to comment positively about it.
But, this is when things get a little strange for me. And its only strange because I cannot relate in any way, shape or form. I ask her if she wants to get a FastPass for later and she scrunches up her nose and says, nah.
So let me get this straight
you dont want to ride an attraction you like? Call me weird, but thats
weird. To me, of course. Just to me.
We step outside again. Jakie moans about the heat. Again. I notice she isnt the happy girl I brought to Disney World some four days earlier.
[The time has come. The time is now. Just go. Go. GO! I dont care how.]
We walk over to the Imagination pavilion and check out the silly Figment ride. Then we hop over to the Honey We Need To Update This Attraction. The show is starting, and it goes well enough
until the mouse part. Now I know that some people are frightened of mice. Im down with that. And there are little kids who are afraid of the 3D effects. Im down with that too. But there was this teenager in front of us who jumped at everything
the mice, the 3D lion, the snake. And she didnt just jump, she screamed and grabbed the boy next to her
who didnt even know her. I have never seen anyone so frightened children included at one of these shows in my life. She was freaking out big time. At first it was funny. Then it just became sad. But, I have to say, it did bring new life to an old attraction. So I probably should have thanked her.
After Honey I Scared The Crap Out Of The Girl In The Twelfth Row, we stepped outside and back into the debilitating weather. Jakie immediately complains again about how miserable she is in the heat. In fact, shes so miserable that shes getting whiny. And crabby. And irritating. She clearly hates this heat and its clearly affecting her mood. Im trying to remain happy, but its getting increasingly difficult. At first I curse the heat for making her so miserable (and in turn, me). But then it turns out to be a blessing.
[You can go by stilts. You can go by fish. You can go by Crunk-Car if you wish.]
I suggest as merrily as I can muster that we hit the Energy pavilion because that is a long, air conditioned, and non-motion-sickness-disturbing attraction. She seemed to like that idea, so we hike over to the other side of Future World in the scorching heat.
Okay, this never happens to me in September. I never had to wait for the Ellen show outside before. But here we are, in the middle of July, in the middle of the day, standing about five people away from the outside entrance and feeling the burn of that Florida sun on our Michigan heads. And just standing there, well, you get pretty dang hot. Even Im getting hot. And poor Jakie is beyond miserable. Beyond Little Miss Cranky Pants. Beyond bearable. So bad, in fact, that she says this: Thats it. I cant take this weather anymore. Instead of hanging around for a few more hours, Im going to head out to the airport when this attraction is over.
Wha-wha-say WHAT? Youre leaving early?
[Get yourself a Ga-Zoom. You can go with a BOOM.]
Which of course would officially start my solo time. So thoughts about being solo started swirling around in that tiny head of mine
thoughts of hitting the rides alone, eating alone, being alone
doing whatever I pleased with no thought of anyone else
and well, I started getting pretty antsy. As much as I loved showing Jakie around
for as many laughs as we had in so few days
well, I still couldnt wait to firmly plant my foot in her rear and shove her out of the park. Maybe even spit in her direction just for good measure. I had wanted to try this solo thing for so many years
ever since reading that solo trip report on the DISboards
and it was just about to start.
The Angel Hucifer on my shoulder wants to say: No, dont go yet. We can find lots of air-conditioned attractions. This is your only trip here
stay awhile longer. But Devil Hucifer jabs Angel in the gut with her pitchfork and gives her a nasty look.
So instead I say, I hope you have a nice flight home. Say hi to work for me.
I did NOT say, The exits that way.
[If you wish you can go by Lions tail. Or stamp yourself and go by mail.]
We wait about 15 minutes total in that blazing sun. The bummer about it is that since we are like fifth in line, we just missed the last preshow. I gotta say, Jakie is a trooper; I know how tired and overheated she is (mostly because she kept reminding me in her own subtle ways). When we finally file into the preshow room and take a seat, we both soak in the wonderfully cold air conditioned bliss. I sit on the bench and slowly start cooling down, really relishing the thoughts of my first moments of solo-ism until Ellen shows up and compliments my hair.
A few random dinosaurs later
and were walking outside again. I keep wondering how we are going to split from one another
do we say good-bye? Hug? Promise well write? How far do I have to walk with you before turning and bolting for the next attraction? Will this be an awkward break? Will we ever see each other again?
[You can go on skates. You can go on skis. You can go in a hat. But please go. PLEASE.]
Jakie stops walking and turns to me. Im not sure how to get back to the International Gateway, she says.
Angel Hucifer pipes up before I can stop her. Ill walk you over there. Devil Hucifer smacks herself on the forehead and groans.
Jakie asks if Im sure. Well, I certainly cannot have the title of Worlds Best Personal Tour Guide if I just let her wander aimlessly around the park, no matter what Devil Hucifer has to say about it. I say I would even walk her back to the resort if she needed me to.
But she assures me that she would be fine from there. She says getting to the resort, car, then airport shouldnt be a problem. But not so much with the International Gateway. I walk her into World Showcase, every step I take is that much closer to my solo time. When we finally reach the exit, the anticipation is so great that I feel like shoving her through the gate and turning around and running back inside the park like the devil himself was after me. Instead I bid her well on her journey and politely wait for her to exit the park. When it seems like the appropriate time, I turn on my heels and head back to Epcot.
[I said GO! And go I meant. The time had come
so Jakie went.]
Im in Disney World. I have four days. And I am finally alone.
Coming up: Part 3. What you get when you cross a Brit with grape jelly.
They have the same problem over at the Pop Century! 
your trip report. Now I know why hucifer is nagging you about another one. And I support her fully in her quest.
It's perfect, absolutely perfect! 
But I can't help but wonder... were you acutely aware of WDW transportation goings on for the rest of your stay?
Oh, that's my favorite part! I've always wanted to try it.
But you get a gold star for doing it. Also, possibly heat stroke.
