How young is too young for a flower girl?

[GillieRose]

My DN turned 2 just 3 days before are wedding and she did great.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

It's the bride and groom's choice, but IMHO when the kid has to be walked down the isle they are too young.

 

[EltonJohn]

Does the bride wish to be the star in her show? I think that 5 is too young to be a flower girl-let alone a 2 1/2 yr. old.

 

[princess pooh]

I had a 2 year old flower girl and 18 month old ringbearer, and it was absolute chaos. The boy had to be carried down the aisle by his dad while he cried for his mother. Then he screamed throughout the entire ceremony but no one took him out because they thought it was so "cute" . I knew that having him in the wedding was a bad idea but it meant a lot to DH (it's his nephew).

The girl was so funny though! As she was walking down the aisle, she pulled away from the two older flowergirls and started wandering around. The other girls went to get her but she was more interested in watching the lights from the video camera. Then my aunt held up her favourite teddy and she RAN down the aisle. I love watching that scene in the video. She looked like a doll in her pink tutu dress and she sat quietly during the ceremony.

I guess it depends on the toddler.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I was 4 or 5 when I was in my uncles wedding. On the video you can hear me say "Mommy I'm tired!" LOL!

In my wedding video you can see our flower girl, who was 6, looking all around. It is quite entertaining to watch.

 

[ToTLaugher]

FWIW. My DN was 18 months old as the flower girl for my wedding. We had her other granddad waiting at the end of the aisle so she could walk to him and then sit on the front pew knowing she could leave if she needed to (which she did). She was adorable and I am so glad her mom let her do it. Also, my SIL made her dress instead of using a super frilly one. That way she had more freedom to move around without anyone worrying about the dress.

 

[msdznyduck]

We just found some pictures of when DS17 was in a friends wedding. He was the 'coin bearer'. He was 19 months old, and we kept asking them if they were sure they wanted him in the wedding........they insisted. It was a Filippino wedding, so not only was he the youngest, he was the only one with blonde hair, so he really stuck out. There was a door on the side that led outside, so I sat in the pew as close to the door as possible. He did terrific, but I had it planned out with one of the groomsmen, that DS would go over to him, and give him the pillow with the coins, and then come over to me. We just stepped out the door, and spent the wedding playing on the grass under the tree. I packed a few quiet toys for him. When the music started for the bride and groom to leave the church, we sneaked back in and he took his place with the rest of the wedding party. I just felt it was the best thing to do, as it was not a family member that might have been more tolerant if he had rolled on the floor or something. And you never really know how a 19 month old will act. (too many people, lights, cameras, and probably was close to nap time........a recipe for disaster.)
A few years later, when they had children of their own, they told us how they couldn't imagine their children participating in something like that at that age.

 

[Ava83]

Ava was a flower girl a couple months after her second birthday.

She was a riot...thought she was a princess, waltzed down the aisle like a supermodel..helped pick up all the dropped petals and went to the mother and father of the bride and stood next to them.

At the reception she did walk in when they introduced people and she dance with a boy for the wedding party dance (there was even a fight over her)

She loved doing it and the bride and groom knew what they were getting into with her (I almost had them sign a waiver absolving us from any responsiblity if the wedding was ruined by Ava ) But they loved having her in it and said she was so cute and funny that it was great...I on the other hand had a purse full of fruit snacks to keep her out of trouble.

 

[LuvN~Travel]

I'm like janette. It all depends on your expectations. Our daughter was in my brother in law's wedding when she was 2.5. I stood in the back and coached her to move down front. When she got going she then ran down going 'Daddy, Daddy', to my DH who was a groomsman. He picked her up, handed her to my Mom who near the front, then she carried her out to the car, to let her play at her leisure. (It was a Catholic wedding so longer than our usual Baptist weddings). It was cute and funny, and got her out of the way for any more unplanned mischief. If you have a lot of leeway with your expectations, it should go okay. Good luck!
Kim

 

[RUDisney]

My sister was 3 when she was my flower girl. The only reason that she was in the wedding was because she was my sister and it was important for me to have my siblings in my wedding. I thought that 3 was too young... BUT I knew how she behaved around people and I knew that there were enough stop gaps if she melted during the ceremony.

The only thing that she didn't like was that our Mom walked down the aisle first, without her. We pumped her up about walking with the other 2 flower girls, but she'd have nothing of it. So, after my other sister (MOH) walked down, Jaime plodded down the aisle, crying. By that point, she was cute and what was going to be was going to be.

During the ceremony, my SIL was video taping from the pew with my Mom and Dad. She filmed my sister, with her knees WAY up in the air, looking up her dress, while she picked petals off of her basket of flowers, resting her head on my Mom's lap. It is absolutely the cutest thing in the video.

The only other thing that she did was when the dancing was going to start, she decided that she wanted to dance with us. So, our first dance video is of the three of us, like she was our DD instead of my sister. By the end of the night, she and my Gramma were tired and were allowed to retire to a room on the second floor of the country club to rest and watch TV.

 

[lbgraves]

We had my neice as flower girl when she was around 3 yo. Her mom was my MOH so I decided that she would just walk holding her mom's hand, then sit with her dad in the second row. This worked out well for us and she actually stood up with the wedding party for the first part of the ceremony, which was an hour.

 

[pooh4evr]

My brother had 8 yes 8 flower girls in their wedding- no ring bearers- the girls were all different ages my DDs were 4 and 2 at the time they were first in the group to walk down together and they did fine- DH was waiting for them in the 2nd pew so the just basically walked to him and sat there for the ceremony.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

My flower girl was only 22 months old, and she did a fantastic job! We had her mom at the back of the church to send her down the aisle, and her dad was at the front to give her signals to walk toward him. It was the cutest thing ever! When we got the photos back, we noticed she was clutching a small Winnie the Pooh figurine in her hand! Cute!! I will say, though, that I didn't care at all if she "messed up" her role, I just wanted her there because she was adorable! (she was the DD of a good friend)

 

[justhat]

We had 2 flower girls in my wedding, 1 was 6 and the other one was 2.5. They both did a great job and we had them walk down the aisle together. The only 'toddlerish' thing that the 2.5yo did during the ceremony (which lasted an hour) was run up near the altar towards the end of the ceremony to see 'Uncle Chris', who was the best man and standing with us on the altar. Honestly, I didn't even know she did it till my SIL apologized at the reception, but it would not have bothered me at all if I had known. Both the flower girls were throwing their remaining petals over the pew bench during the ceremony too, so even at 6 you can't expect 'perfection'.

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

It depends on what the bride and groom are tolerant about.......... my wedding party was full of kids and we also had about 200 guests (pretty formal wedding).
My son was a just turned 3 year old and he was the ring-bearer. He walked down the aisle with my mom. I had nieces/nephews being the Jr. bridesmaids/Jr. ushers, and my 3 year old niece as the flower girl (she walked down the aisle, but then went to sit with her mom for the rest of the ceremony). To us, any mishaps with the kids were okay and understandable (I was an extrememly laid back bride!)
During the ceremony, my son stood in the middle of us as we were taking our vows and started rambling on while having a mouthful of crackers - we didn't even notice he was there at the time (we were totally oblivious!), but while watching the video, we just laugh about it!! But then again, it is my son......
then he started screaming to hold our hands when DH and I were walking up the aisle (again, we were totally oblivious -nerves and everything)- we saw all this in the video. I felt bad (and still do!) about that since we would have had him walk up with us if we had any idea he wanted to hold our hands.
My nephew was pulling at his tux the whole ceremony and figiting constantly (he was 9 yrs.old at the time), then during the reception took off his tie and shirt and walked around in his "wife beater" and played a penny game on the floor with the other Jr. usher...
But these are some of the best moments of our video.. they make us laugh!! All the kids dancing around are also priceless. I loved having all the kids of all ages in the wedding, and would do it again in a second - they made the day even more special and fun.
But, then again, I was very laid back about everything that went on... I know some brides want everything "perfect"........ so I guess it really depends on personality of the bride/groom and what they want at their wedding.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DS was 2 years and 2 months when he was in my DH's sisters wedding. I was very hesitiant, but it was very important to her, so we said OK. I just prepared her for the worst and she was ready . But he did very well. Walked down the aisle, holding the pillow, smiling ear to ear.
He got a little fussy in church, but we took snacks and toys for him.

I have never heard of an 11year old ring bearer and 9 year old flower girl. Around here, they would be called, junior ushers and bridesmaids. Most weddings we go to, the flower girls and ring bearers are all in the 2-6 range.

But ultimately it is the bride and grooms decision.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

I think it depends on how important perfection is to the bride and how close they are to her -

if they are having her for the sake of having a flower girl - I say no

if they can't have their ceremony without her - I say yes

my niece was 2.5 when she was in my wedding and I would not have gotten married without her and my nephew in my wedding party - they were like my own kids and I had to have them be a part of my day - so I was willing to take any bumps that came my way

It was her turn to walk and she turned around to my Dad and I and yelled PAPA - and wouldn't leave my dad - knowing that I had two choices - either have my dad walk her up the aisle then or with me - I told him to take her and go - he did - walked back around the church and got me and we walked up the aisle together - without her!! The pictures of her with my dad are priceless and it was adorable

if she is not the kind of girl who can deal with that or is not emotionally attached to her - I would advise against it!

 

[poohandwendy]

Actually, I think the best judge of whether the child was ready would be the mother of the child...but that is so far away, she won't know what the little girl will be like until closer to the date. So, it probably is best to ask an older child.

For me, I would not allow my kids to be in a wedding younger than 4. I just think it would be more hassle than worth it.

 

[Nutsy]

I think the other neice, at 9 and a half, seems past flower girl age. I've seen some junior bridesmaids at this age, but at nine they're really closer to being young women than little girls. I'll bet she would LOVE an opportunity to be part of the wedding, but in an age appropriate role.

I agree............ when my cousin was married she had a younger sister 10 years her junior and she was just 10 when it was time for the wedding. She was a junior bridesmaid for her sister (way too old for a flower girl).

Flower girls are usually little ones..........I had a 3 year old flower girl at my own wedding and she did just fine.

 

[Disney Doll]

If the kid has a meltdown and the B&G aren't going to stress out about it, then why not?

Plus, 2 years ia long time away. A lot can happen between now & then.

But, future mother-in-law, let the B&G decide. Give them different scenarios (ie-"keep in mind that little Susie will only be 2.5 years old and may not cooperate, may have a meltdown but, if she does OK, it will be adorable"), but stay away from an opinion.

That being said, I don't think small kids belong at weddings, unless they are a very casual, picnic-y outdoor type thing. It's a long day, with a lot of stress and activity, and I think kids pick up on that.