How would you have handled this

[Micca]

Today DSIL announced to our family that rather than give gift cards this year, she had decided to give cold hard cash When I got my envelope containing the greeting card with the message "enjoy the cash", there was nothing in it. I'm sure it was an oversight, and it's not like I didn't get plenty of gifts from other family members. I decided not to mention it as I didn't want to embarass her. I thought about saying something to her as perhaps she may have left accidentally left money out of other
envelopes, or that someone may have received a double dip. It's really no big deal to me, but I'm curious how others would have handled this.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I would never talk to her again, the cheap skate

 

[denisem]

I'd blow it off until next year and see what happens

Denise < --- knew SHE had to double-check when she did her "secret Santa" envelopes for great nieces/nephews...so easy to be distracted this time of year.

 

[TLinden16]

I probably wouldn't say anything at all. I would be afraid that I'd come across as greedy if I said something. It was probably just an oversight on her part.

On the other hand, if you are very close to your sister-in-law, you could also have fun teasing her about it. I have a sister who I'm very close to, and if she did something like that, I would have so much fun teasing her it would be worth not getting the money

Karen

 

[one_cat]

OK Come on guys. If everyone else got cash and my envelope was empty I would most certainly have mentioned it. If you got an empty envelope it was either an accident or a very pointed statement of some kind. If someone had something to tell me I'd rather they just got it out in the open.

 

[dzneprincess]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
I would never talk to her again, the cheap skate

you crack me up

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would have spoken up and fast at that!

 

[frannn]

to her. I'm the paranoid type that would take it that she didn't like me, and it would take her & DH (or DB) a long time to convince me otherwise. It was probably just an oversight, and she will probably make up for it if she realizes.

 

[Chattyaholic]

I would have DH talk to her about it, because what if a month or so later she asks you "what did you buy with the money I gave you?" THEN what are you going to say??

I would think it was just an oversight, with all the hubbub and hecticness of the holiday season. But if it were ME giving out cash envelopes and I accidentally missed someone, I would want to know about it so I could make it right with them.

 

[Disney Doll]

It depends on your relationship with your DSIL. If you guys are close, as someone else said, I'd have such a ball teasing her about it that it would have been worth not getting the cash. But, if your relationship is strained, then I'd say nothing. It was probably an oversight on her part, or maybe it was a pointed "statement", but either way, you going up to her and saying "There was no cash in my envelope" is only going to make you look bad.

If she asks you a month down the road what you bought with the money she gave you, then say "Well, actually there was no money in the card you gave me", see what she says, and go from there.

 

[Micca]

Thanks for all the responses. It's interesting to hear everyone's point of view. I'm not going to mention it to her, and because I only see her a couple of times a year, she's not likely to ask how I spent the money. I have known her for about 30 years and don't think she would be making a statement by not giving me a present for Christmas.

 

[Alice28]

I would say something....you can be tactful about it...she certainly wouldn't want you to be short-changed----as the giver I would feel so badly if I did that and then the cash was missing! I had a similar situation happen to me a month or so ago- my sister in law sent my son a $15 gift card for Toys R Us for his bday...we go to TRU to spend it and the girl was all "There's no money on this card." She tried again and again, and sure enough there was no money loaded on the card! I very tactfully emailed my sister in law (we are not close, but I know she wouldn't do that on purpose) and she had me mail the gift card back to her and she sent me a check...what had happened was, she bought two $15 gift cards, and the cashier accidentally put $30 on the other card!

 

[cruisnfamily]

Originally posted by one_cat
OK Come on guys. If everyone else got cash and my envelope was empty I would most certainly have mentioned it. If you got an empty envelope it was either an accident or a very pointed statement of some kind. If someone had something to tell me I'd rather they just got it out in the open.

My feelings exactly!

Why would you not mention it to her?

If I were the giver and I messed up like that I would certainly want to know!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Micca,

You were very polite. I am glad that you did not embarass your SIL. It was an obvious mistake if you've known her for 30 years. You should be proud because you were gracious and leave it at that.

Lori

 

[disykat]

I would have done the same thing - not mentioned it.

 

[SandraM]

Are you sure you're the only one who got an empty envelope?
Maybe the poor woman is a bit strapped at the moment but was too embarrassed to say and figured people would be too polite to say their envelope was empty?
Just a thought.

 

[jipsy]

Look at it the other way around:

If you decided to give everyone $25 for Christmas and accidentally left the money out of your SIL's card, wouldn't you want her to tell you so you could give it to her? How would you feel if she didn't speak up and two years later, it somehow came up in conversation? You'd feel awful wouldn't you? That's probably how she will feel. You need to tell her or let your DH tell her.