How would you handle this?

[Wishing on a star]

Me again:

The OP asks, how would you handle this...

First, I would have spoken to the Director IN PERSON. If you want to get anywhere with situations of this nature, then email is not the way to go.

Second, from your description of the community, I would be betting my money that the Director and this Coach are buddy-buddy... tighter than Dick's Hat-band! LOL!!!! (Same religion, if not the exact same Church!) I would not have assumed that there would be any objectivity here.

Third, Depending on how much this upsets you, I might consider taking my child out.

However, If my child really wanted to play, and I really wanted him to play. And, I were also thinking about the other kids who might find themselves in this position. I would find out exactly who, at the County government level, that I needed to go see. Is there like a County Commission? I would explore what the real and true avenues would be in order to let the County know that this was happening. Now, I would NOT be threatening law-suit. But, surely, in this day and age with Countys being sued over things like the Pledge of Allegience, 10 Commandments at their Courthouses, etc... that they are very VERY aware of the possibility of lawsuits over things like discrimination (Yes, this is religious discrimination, non religious children are being discriminated against here, and forced to comply or to not feel welcome) and things like separation of church and state.

 

[punkin]

Me again:

The OP asks, how would you handle this...

First, I would have spoken to the Director IN PERSON. If you want to get anywhere with situations of this nature, then email is not the way to go.

Second, from your description of the community, I would be betting my money that the Director and this Coach are buddy-buddy... tighter than Dick's Hat-band! LOL!!!! (Same religion, if not the exact same Church!) I would not have assumed that there would be any objectivity here.

Third, Depending on how much this upsets you, I might consider taking my child out.

However, If my child really wanted to play, and I really wanted him to play. And, I were also thinking about the other kids who might find themselves in this position. I would find out exactly who, at the County government level, that I needed to go see. Is there like a County Commission? I would explore what the real and true avenues would be in order to let the County know that this was happening. Now, I would NOT be threatening law-suit. But, surely, in this day and age with Countys being sued over things like the Pledge of Allegience, 10 Commandments at their Courthouses, etc... that they are very VERY aware of the possibility of lawsuits over things like discrimination (Yes, this is religious discrimination, non religious children are being discriminated against here, and forced to comply or to not feel welcome) and things like separation of church and state.

You are right. There is no need to threaten a law suit. This one has unconstitutional written all over it and if OP goes high enough in the county, somebody will get scared.

 

[azgal81]

Isn't it illegal for coaches to read anything religious related during any sporting event to the team. Aren't there some states that the state put in laws that don't allow those practices. Maybe you should talk to the coach and explain that you don't believe in the same things as him and you don't think it's appropriate for him to participate in religious activities on the little league field and he should save that for church. I however don't think the god bless signing of the name is that big of deal. I think some people just sign there name like that, the same as some sign love or sincerely. It just seems like not the right place for the bible passage they shouldn't assume everyone on the team practices. I think clearly you need to continue pursuing this matter it's just not right if the coach won't listen is their someone else you can talk to in person.

 

[Buckalew11]

No, he won't because religion is so ingrained in certain areas of the south. It is part of their everyday living...and it crosses over from their personal lives to their professional lives. Unless you've lived in the south...in particular the rural areas, you can't fully appreciate the magnitude that religion plays down here. You may have your opinions but you better keep them to yourself if you want your kids to fit in. The OP (and her kids) will be the one labeled as odd and not fitting in if she decides to take a strong stand and make a big deal out of it. I don't know where the OP lives, but in a small town, this can spell disaster socially as there is no tollerance of those that don't practice a religion or complain about it in any way or don't go along with the praying (such as before every meal). And yes, they don't tolerate any casual phrasing such as Jesus Christ...or Oh God... You just don't do that. It is most definitely a major culture shock when you've come from an urban northern area to the deep south.

No, you can't say Jesus Christ. You can't say Oh God... You will be .

Please don't try to tell me about living in the rural South. I lived in a small community in the mountains of East TN where if this situation happened and they were for it and you loudly protested, your house would have probably been burned down by some redneck.

I live in a small city(in TN) now and it is much the way the OP describes. As I said, I am from NJ ( I believe that was the North!) and coming to the Bible Belt was a huge change for my family. And now I am one of those people who blur the line between my personal life and my professional life. I certainly won't shove my religion down your throat but I will make my belief in God shown.

And I still say that when the coach gets the call that he'll probably back off (I would) of the suggested Bible readings (which I wouldn't have started in the first place). In my dealing with people around here, I think he'll be upset and the OP will not be a very popular person with the team and parents. Hopefully they'll see that the OP isn't being unreasonable with her request but like I said in an early post, it'll surprise me to hear that this is handled in the best christian manner. I hope the coach will step up and do the right thing. We'll see.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, I am getting really tired of the Stereotyping and bashing of the so called 'South'. It is just not correct. And, I don't want it to get out of hand here.

I was born and raised in the South. Still live in the South. Yes, there are probably a majority of Christians. However, (while I am a strong and conservative Christian) I personally have not been overtly religious. And, do not see this kind of incident as a way of life. It has not been, in MY experience!

I have not had 'religion' crammed down my throat. I do not go around thinking that because I am a Christian I am the ONLY religion, and that I have the right and obligation to judge others. I do admit that there are few of these kinds of people out there. And, I simply refuse to let them give me, or Christianity, or the South, a bad name. I have openly opposed a couple of these self-righteous and judgmental Christians on the DIS. Because I want everyone to know that this is not what defines Christianity, or the South.

You know, very small and tight-knit communities in ANY area have their strong and distinct identities. This is NOT limited to Christians in the South. This is a part of social dynamics anywhere!

I used to live in a place where there were a lot of Northern 'transplants'. And, you know what. They are just as guilty of bringing their own views and expectations with them to the areas where they have settled down here. I just LOVED it once when I saw a bumper sticker on a local vehicle that said, and I quote.... "No, I don't give a damn how you do it up North" LOL!!!!

 

[tinker&belle]

I would say that many people (including this OP) just don't like having religion shoved at them and having to accept it. You shouldn't have to accept the choice of 1. no baseball or 2. baseball only with religion.

Maybe I was unclear...I meant that teaching religion should be the parent(s)' job...not the coach

 

[Disney Doll]

OK... then let's assume that we are not talking about religion and the coach was a member of the KKK? Would you ignore that fact and go along with it so they could play baseball?

If I felt that strongly about something that was being taught where my child was participating, I would remove my child from the offending group and explain to my child the reasons why.

To carry out your example...no, I would not want my child participating in a group that was spouting about the KKK. So I would remove my child from the team, and I would explain to my child that the reason he was being removed from the team was because the coach discussed things with the children that I did not feel it was appropriate for him to hear. Following that line of thinking...OP doesn't like what LL coach writes in his e-mails about religion and religious discussion. OP asks LL administration about the "rules" regarding said behavior. There are no rules against it, therefore LL administration cannot put a stop to it. They are also unable to change OP's son's team. At this point, OP has a decision to make as to what is more important...her son's participation in LL or upholding the belief system under which she is raising her family.

Life is full of difficult choices.

 

[Disney Doll]

There is a big difference in not liking someone for how they look then exposing my children to different beliefs. I've taught my children that many different people believe in many different things and no one is right and no one is wrong. However, we believe in our God and Jews, Muslims, Baptists, believe in their God. When they are older, feel free to seek out another religion if it interests you. For right now though, I feel I need to teach them our beief and not confuse them. You must understand, the Baptists ( this is not an insult to others) who live next door told my 8 year old he is a bad person and won't go to heaven because he doesn't attend church. It is my job, not to allow my child to be exposed to people or institutions that allow a little boy to cry himself to sleep at night thinking he's a bad person. IMO, that is a BAD religion.

Actually, no that is bad people who have poorly interpreted a religion...a very definite distinction.

 

[Disney Doll]

Actually, you didn't. The direct quotes are what I corrected in red:


"Actually, I don't think they have the right to promote anything to my child " Actually, I don't think they have the right to promote anything to my child at a county run baseball league.
__________________


"I don't want my children preached to at Little League" OMG.. so now I'm like the KKK because I don't want my children preached to at Little League. WOW... that's funny

So, I would still like for you to point out what I originally requested... without fabricating quotes for your benefit.

She has, dear. You just don't like the fact that she's right.

 

[beckmrk04]

She has, dear. You just don't like the fact that she's right.

I don't think she has or that she's right at all!

kd is saying that she doesn't want her kid preached to at little league, or that the little league doesn't have the right to promote anything to her children, baseball notwithstanding, of course, since that's whatis being PAID FOR. That is NOT the same thing as saying that she doesn't want her kids exposed to anything that she doesn't believe in, which is what golfgal is insinuating from kd's posts, and sorry- but I don't see it.

I feel the same way! I wouldn't want my kids preached to at Little League- sorry, but I get to choose where we practice our religion, and what religion it is!! That does not mean that I never want them exposed to other religions. I just don't think baseball has anything to do with it.

And Little League doesn't have the right to promote anything, religion included, to kids. Because it's not "Little League Bible Lessons" it's little league baseball. They get to promote baseball, good sportsmanship, team spirit, and all things related to baseball.

 

[2cutekids]

I need to let "northerners" in on a little secret......in the South, football & Little Leauge ARE religions!!!! I wish that the little league coaches in our area were like the one the OP described. You don't really realize how lucky you are that to have a coach that cares that much about your child. Around here, starting in t-ball the coaches and many parents are cut-throat. If the police aren't called to a game once during the season because of fighting coaches/parents, then they've had a GREAT year. And we're smack dab in the middle of the Bible-belt. My kids played t-ball for 2 years and that was quite enough for us. If we get an Upwards baseball, then we'll try again. Now we do soccer.....a much kinder, gentler sport.

But I understand the premise of your statement. I think if this coach is a Christ-like Christian then he will understand and work out a way to accomodate the parents who wish to interweave their beliefs with the sport and the parents whom do not. After all, Jesus didn't cram his message down people's throats. He offered it to them and then it was theirs to accept or deny.

Look at the glass as either half empty (coach is forcing religion down our throats) or half full (that's nice that the coach wants to include my child in Bible study, but we'll choose to decline that part of the activity). I'm sure he meant no harm. BTW, in the south we also consider saying "Jesus Christ" in a disrepectful way as taking the Lord's name in vain. Our Momma's would have washed our mouths out with soap!!!! I think it's wise to respect other culture's (yes, the north and the south ARE different cultures!!!!) just as others should respect yours.

A little piece of advice I give my kids....we can't always control the situation, but we CAN control how we react to them."

Good luck! I hopes this all works out.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

This thread is becoming a bit of a debate which I didn't want to happen. I'm also beginning to discuss my personal religious beliefs which again, I don't usually do.

That being said, I'm asking the moderators to please close this thread. Thanks

You're welcome.