How would you handle this?

[golfgal]

Wow

I'm glad your not my soon to be Asian's daughter's little league coach

Why? I am not the one here with prejudiced feelings towards others beliefs. Your comments continually say that you only want your children exposed to what you want/like and that anything that goes against that is wrong. Why is wanting people to be able to express their rights that have been granted to them by the Constitution a bad thing??? I am not saying I agree with what the coach is doing necessarily, what I DON'T agree with is that one person on the team has the right to change what everyone else wants.

 

[beckmrk04]

As for the Jim Crow south comment, the majority of the people in the US pre-civil war lived in the NORTH.

Right- but the majority of people in the SOUTH didn't want the laws to change.

 

[rileyroosmom]

Actually that isn't quite true. This man could stand up and quote Bible verses LEGALLY in any classroom in the country. What he can't do is make kids BELIEVE or follow those teachings.

Sorry, I believe you are wrong. You cannot quote Bible versus. Where I come from, a moment of silence has also been removed from the classroom. Separation of church and state.

If you want religion in your classroom or sports or discussions, there are many many church/temple organizations that will allow this. The public schools are just that, public which means they cater to all religions and races without prejudice.

 

[kdibattista]

Why? I am not the one here with prejudiced feelings towards others beliefs. Your comments continually say that you only want your children exposed to what you want/like and that anything that goes against that is wrong. Why is wanting people to be able to express their rights that have been granted to them by the Constitution a bad thing??? I am not saying I agree with what the coach is doing necessarily, what I DON'T agree with is that one person on the team has the right to change what everyone else wants.

Please point that out to me... I must have missed that

 

[beckmrk04]

Why? I am not the one here with prejudiced feelings towards others beliefs. Your comments continually say that you only want your children exposed to what you want/like and that anything that goes against that is wrong. Why is wanting people to be able to express their rights that have been granted to them by the Constitution a bad thing??? I am not saying I agree with what the coach is doing necessarily, what I DON'T agree with is that one person on the team has the right to change what everyone else wants.

Who said everyone else on the team wants it? Maybe some others feel uncomfortable but didn't know what to do. You can't assume everyone likes it this way.

 

[golfgal]

You are way off here. I have my beliefs and it is my job as a parent to expose my children to my beiefs. I know plenty of Jewish families, however, I don't allow my children to attend Temple, because that is not my bellief. I also have familiy that married Asian people. I don't hate them because their eyes are slanted.
You are being ridiculous! You are turning this into a "hate" issue, which it is not.

I am not turning this into a hate issue at all. I am pointing out that by not wanting your children exposed to ideas you don't like is no different then not liking someone because of how they look. It is the same though process. Why don't you allow your children to visit their temple? Why not let them see what they do during a Jewish service. What is wrong with that? It is an educational experience for them, nothing more, nothing less. Heck, the nuns at our kids' Catholic school "celebrate" Hanukkah with the kids. I see nothing wrong with that. Are you worried that your children might prefer what they see at the Temple and as adults convert? If that is their choice, will you disown them, I wouldn't think so.

 

[rileyroosmom]

Maybe I can provide a different perspective here. We too recently moved from a major metropolitan northern city to a rural town smack in the bible belt. When I read the OP, it was uncanny how similar some of the OP's experiences have been to ours.

I can only describe the experience as INTENSE in regards to religion down here. There is great pressure to attend church, not only on Sundays, but also Wed evenings, Sunday school, Sunday regular service, and Sunday evening service. To just attend regular service isn't enough. You're viewed as different and not fitting in if you differ from what is done here. Yes, the OP wasn't joking, its true that everyone's first question is "what church do you attend".

I understand the OP's tone of frustration. I also am not used to the outright blending of religion and school functions. When we attended a baseball informative parents session, we all had to pray before the meeting. I've never encountered this before. Yes, emails from this particular coach had religious phrasings in it. Right or wrong, its not what we're used to and therefore seems strange. We've gotten used to it over time.

If you go out to lunch with someone, you pray before eating. Thats something we weren't used to also. I think overall its a major culture shock that the OP is experiencing. While it may feel strange to him/her or that this is all being forced upon him/her, I'm sure they still want to fit in and belong. When towns are small and you want you and your kids to adjust, fit in, and not be shunned, you don't take a stand...you try to blend in as best you can. Its very much a different culture down here. Its very, very different from the north. Its easy to say how you should speak up and say whats on your mind, but when you're not living in it, its easier said than done.

Thanks so much for understanding. You really have to live it (North to South) to understand it. We have decided though that we are going to fight it. The times need to change. I'm all for people's religious beliefs, even if they differ from mine, but please keep it to the proper forum.

 

[golfgal]

Sorry, I believe you are wrong. You cannot quote Bible versus. Where I come from, a moment of silence has also been removed from the classroom. Separation of church and state.

If you want religion in your classroom or sports or discussions, there are many many church/temple organizations that will allow this. The public schools are just that, public which means they cater to all religions and races without prejudice.

Look up the Supreme Court ruling on this. The separation of church and state is NOT what most believe it to be. That means that the state cannot force you to participate in a religion, it does NOT mean that a teacher can't quote Bible verses in class. If the moment of silence has been removed from your schools, that was a choice of the schools and not that they were breaking any laws. I am quite right on this.

 

[golfgal]

Please point that out to me... I must have missed that

Post #'s 23, 47 you don't want anyone telling your child what to do to paraphrase your posts.

 

[DisneyDotty]

I am not turning this into a hate issue at all. I am pointing out that by not wanting your children exposed to ideas you don't like is no different then not liking someone because of how they look. It is the same though process. Why don't you allow your children to visit their temple? Why not let them see what they do during a Jewish service. What is wrong with that? It is an educational experience for them, nothing more, nothing less. Heck, the nuns at our kids' Catholic school "celebrate" Hanukkah with the kids. I see nothing wrong with that. Are you worried that your children might prefer what they see at the Temple and as adults convert? If that is their choice, will you disown them, I wouldn't think so.

Exposing your children to other's beliefs is a great idea--one I totally agree with. However, the issue here is whether Little League baseball is the proper forum for that. (Kinda like whether a science class is the proper place to discuss God--again, I digress.) I'd suggest the OP has the right to expect that baseball (not religion, not basketweaving, not fundamentals of the Democratic party, not homosexuality--name any subject other than baseball here, etc.)is taught during Little League--it's what she paid for.

 

[rileyroosmom]

I am not turning this into a hate issue at all. I am pointing out that by not wanting your children exposed to ideas you don't like is no different then not liking someone because of how they look. It is the same though process. Why don't you allow your children to visit their temple? Why not let them see what they do during a Jewish service. What is wrong with that? It is an educational experience for them, nothing more, nothing less. Heck, the nuns at our kids' Catholic school "celebrate" Hanukkah with the kids. I see nothing wrong with that. Are you worried that your children might prefer what they see at the Temple and as adults convert? If that is their choice, will you disown them, I wouldn't think so.

There is a big difference in not liking someone for how they look then exposing my children to different beliefs. I've taught my children that many different people believe in many different things and no one is right and no one is wrong. However, we believe in our God and Jews, Muslims, Baptists, believe in their God. When they are older, feel free to seek out another religion if it interests you. For right now though, I feel I need to teach them our beief and not confuse them. You must understand, the Baptists ( this is not an insult to others) who live next door told my 8 year old he is a bad person and won't go to heaven because he doesn't attend church. It is my job, not to allow my child to be exposed to people or institutions that allow a little boy to cry himself to sleep at night thinking he's a bad person. IMO, that is a BAD religion.

 

[golfgal]

Thanks so much for understanding. You really have to live it (North to South) to understand it. We have decided though that we are going to fight it. The times need to change. I'm all for people's religious beliefs, even if they differ from mine, but please keep it to the proper forum.

I completly understand what you are saying and I don't really think you are wrong in not wanting this, but what if you are the only one that doesn't like this on the team. I think you need to talk with the other parents and see what their feelings are on this because if you change something that everyone else wants, you are not going to be a happy camper in your town.

 

[Hannathy]

Golfgal is right about the seperation of state and religion. It only means you can not be forced to be a certain religion. It has been so twisted and manipulated lately it is hard to find anyone who really understands it. Did this coach say your son had to learn this verse or he couldn't play ? I think you should have told the coach you didn't want him having your son learn verses instead of immediately going to the league, talk about winning points for your son. There are some really great coaches and some bad coaches they all have some things you won't like. If he was good at ball I would be happy.

So now a church can not even be mentioned in a simple sentence - what baloney.

 

[Saphire]

one neighbor yelled at my son for saying Jesus Christ during a football game.

So you are opposed to others quoting Bible verses and saying "God Bless us all" but it is acceptable that your son uses the name of Jesus (in a derogatory way?) at a football game. I don't get it.

 

[golfgal]

There is a big difference in not liking someone for how they look then exposing my children to different beliefs. I've taught my children that many different people believe in many different things and no one is right and no one is wrong. However, we believe in our God and Jews, Muslims, Baptists, believe in their God. When they are older, feel free to seek out another religion if it interests you. For right now though, I feel I need to teach them our beief and not confuse them. You must understand, the Baptists ( this is not an insult to others) who live next door told my 8 year old he is a bad person and won't go to heaven because he doesn't attend church. It is my job, not to allow my child to be exposed to people or institutions that allow a little boy to cry himself to sleep at night thinking he's a bad person. IMO, that is a BAD religion.

It isn't a bad RELIGION, it is a bad PERSON. Baptists are Christians (meaning they believe in Christ) is that a "different" God then you have?

 

[rileyroosmom]

I completly understand what you are saying and I don't really think you are wrong in not wanting this, but what if you are the only one that doesn't like this on the team. I think you need to talk with the other parents and see what their feelings are on this because if you change something that everyone else wants, you are not going to be a happy camper in your town.

As you can imagine, there is NO WAY to ever discuss this with anyone. That is why I asked for my son to be removed from the team. I'm not trying to make anyone follow my rights/wrongs, I'd rather just not associate with this man. At this point, the league won't allow us to switch teams which is more agravating then the coach's religious belief's at this point!

 

[beckmrk04]

I completly understand what you are saying and I don't really think you are wrong in not wanting this, but what if you are the only one that doesn't like this on the team. I think you need to talk with the other parents and see what their feelings are on this because if you change something that everyone else wants, you are not going to be a happy camper in your town.

While I haven't agreed with you for the most part, you are right- if all the other parents are 100% behind this, it is going to be a mess. BUT- the OP did ask for her son to be moved, it wasn't her decision- they told her no. At that point, it's outta her hands.

 

[kdibattista]

Post #'s 23, 47 you don't want anyone telling your child what to do to paraphrase your posts.

Actually this is what you said I said:

Your comments continually say that you only want your children exposed to what you want/like and that anything that goes against that is wrong.

And I would like for to point out to me specifically (not paraphrasing) where I said that I only want my children exposed to what I want/like and that anything that goes against that is wrong. Can't do it... can you?

And, by that reasoning, you equate me not wanting someone to tell my child what to do with me being prejudice?

 

[Buckalew11]

I think this is getting blown way out of proportion because we are only hearing one side (the OP's) and the fact that he suggested they read a certain passage and then it would be discussed isn't quite the same as having weekly "bible studies" at ball practice.

Maybe he is having bible study with baseball, maybe not. We don't know. It was one email suggesting the reading. The rest of the emails were the "God Bless..." and talking about Paul. Until we know for a fact that this guy is running this like "Upward Baseball" or whatever, I don't think we should hang him just yet.

I think when he gets the call that so and so's parent is upset and not pleased with the Bible readings and discussion, then he'll probably back off about it. Maybe he has done this for years and no one has complained. I vote for giving the guy a break at this point.

If a child asks you about anything religious, you can talk about it. You just can't bring it up. Maybe they were having a discussion. We don't know what was going on. The Bible has a lot of rules we all live by in it. "Love one another..." It is a nice idea to teach to our kids. I realize you can get that from some other source but, still,it isn't like the Bible is going to teach the things of the KKK and all that hate.

I'm from NJ and as a 10 yo kid, I moved to TN. And I welcomed what I learned in school and at church about God. Most of what I learned came from school (& shouldn't have at that point in time but back then, no one complained). Just as much as I want my DD to have Godly people in her life I understand the OP doesn't want them in her son's life. I can certainly respect her view.

 

[rileyroosmom]

So you are opposed to others quoting Bible verses and saying "God Bless us all" but it is acceptable that your son uses the name of Jesus (in a derogatory way?) at a football game. I don't get it.

If you find it derogatory, sorry. I don't. As I said in the beginning, I don't attend church and am not overly religious. That is a saying that is said in my house all the time. Since I'm not religious, I don't want religion put in a county league. I also don't want people telling my kids that they should be ashamed of themselves for saying Jesus Christ. I don't lecture others when they say things I don't agree with, I never reprimand another person's child unless they are hurting someone else. Because religion is involved, people feel everyone feels like they do. My son also said this in public, not in this person's home.