How would you handle this one?

[princesshannahsmom]

My DD10 has a friend that she has been "best" friends with since 2nd grade. (they are in 4th now) The little girl (Ali) is truly a sweet child, gracious, polite, considerate and they get along wonderfully. Now, Ali has been to our house on numerous occasions, sleep overs, etc. Most recently for DD's spend the night birthday party, with 4 other little girls. When Ali's mom came to pick her up that weekend, she hinted at the possibility of my DD coming over to stay the night with Ali during the winter break.

Here is where the dilemma occurs. As much as I adore Ali, well, Ali's parents are not the sort of people that I would care for my DD to stay the night with. To be very gentle, I am certain that they both have a drinking problem, their house is atrocious (as far as cleanliness), and they both smoke like chimney's IN their home. Without sounding rude (because we ask Ali to stay with us a lot), how do I tell them that DD cannot stay over at their house?

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

DNiece's grandparents (that we're not related to) often offer to have DS4 over to their house. They also smoke indoors, so I will not let him stay there (don't get me started on smoking indoors with my niece there!!). They're very sweet people, but I just say that DS prefers to be at his house. We're usually out and about when I have my niece anyway, but if we are having a day in, we're at my house.

 

[threecrazykids]

Hmmm...that's a tough one (without just coming out and sounding rude to the parents).

If I'm being 100% honest...I'd make up some reason she couldn't stay over if you're adamant about her not going...ex. family thing going on that night, or she's starting to get a cold and you don't want her away from home. Now I would only do that if it was an "occassional" stay over kind of friend.

But if they are very close friends I'd maybe just tell the mom that she's (your daughters friend) come to your house and sometimes smells like smoke and you're just not comfortable with her staying over if they smoke in the house.

 

[Minniemama350]

I'm with you and my kid isn't going, but that can be tricky as to "why." Good luck. I hope someone else can help.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Go with your gut. Coincidentally, I'd feel the same way. Just politely say that your DD isn't able to sleep over. I hardly think the parents will ask why. I agree with previous poster, just say that your DD prefers staying at her house but maybe you could have Ali over again sometime soon. I'm sure they'll understand.

 

[disykat]

Go with your gut. Coincidentally, I'd feel the same way. Just politely say that your DD isn't able to sleep over. I hardly think the parents will ask why. I agree with previous poster, just say that your DD prefers staying at her house but maybe you could have Ali over again sometime soon. I'm sure they'll understand.

I agree. They probably feel obligated to take a turn because they don't want to feel like they are taking advantage of you, but will have no problem with this.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

I don't know how to quote people. But I like the idea of DD only likes to stay at her house and letting them know that Ali is welcome any time. I mean it really isn't a fib, DD only stays with family at the moment, she has only ever stayed at one friends house, and that was a friend who lived 2 houses away!

 

[krcit]

My older dd never wanted to sleep at her friends houses so I was honest and said 'Kai isn't really comfortable sleeping out yet so how about Maggie stays here." There was never any problems. You could use that excuse to spare hurt feelings.

 

[JodyLynC]

My older dd never wanted to sleep at her friends houses so I was honest and said 'Kai isn't really comfortable sleeping out yet so how about Maggie stays here." There was never any problems. You could use that excuse to spare hurt feelings.

 

[Momof2princess]

My older dd never wanted to sleep at her friends houses so I was honest and said 'Kai isn't really comfortable sleeping out yet so how about Maggie stays here." There was never any problems. You could use that excuse to spare hurt feelings.

I also have to agree with this one, it will spare any possible hurt feelings.