How was the first day/week of school?

[MN Dis Fans]

That is great to hear!! Isn't it nice to hear positives for a change?! We had parent teacher conferences today and it was a great experience for the first time ever. Fifth grade has made such a difference for us and his teacher is so great and makes allowances for those Asperger's tendencies. I think we're gonna make it.

 

[Earstou]

Update again:
Oh no! I can't believe it. We received a letter in yesterday's mail giving my son detention from this study hall teacher. I am so mad. She didn't even mention it when we saw her on Wednesday and it happened a week ago on Friday. My DS left the room when the bell rang, she claims she told him not to, and he says he didn't know that. But all the other teachers understand you can't change his routine (they even made a rule that his class's lunch schedule will never be changed due to this). She also circled "lying" on the form for reason for detention. Many asperger kids don't or can't lie, and his Orchestra teaching even told us on Wednesday he didn't think our DS could lie to save his life! My DS doesn't understand why she did this.
The gifted teacher had been helping out to lessen this women's impact, but I guess this wasn't enough either.
So, I guess I go back in on Monday and talk to Asst. Principal, who signed the letter.

 

[MN Dis Fans]

What does this study hall person have to gain by this type of unreasonable behavior? I can't for the life of me understand why some people feel the need to be so rigid. I hope your DS is out of her study hall as soon as possible. Don't let this one person destroy all the other good stuff happening. Good luck with the Vice Principal.
What instrument does your DS play? Mine plays the piano and drums but he recently informed me that he doesn't play drums, he is "a percussionist." LOL

 

[Earstou]

What does this study hall person have to gain by this type of unreasonable behavior?

I really don't know. She interupted our conversation with the gifted teacher to ask if we were grounding our DS from ALL of his extracurricular activities. We thought she was referring to his missing work. Afterwards my DH said, "Wow, she's really something. She seems as though she is eager to see him punished".

What instrument does your DS play?

He plays the cello. Poor kid, his sister played the bass for 8 years, and I keep calling the cello a bass. SO he always has to remind me what he really plays! Motherhood and short-term memory loss don't go well together!!!!

 

[SueM in MN]

I really don't know. She interupted our conversation with the gifted teacher to ask if we were grounding our DS from ALL of his extracurricular activities. We thought she was referring to his missing work. Afterwards my DH said, "Wow, she's really something. She seems as though she is eager to see him punished".

She sounds like she has no conception of Asperger and thinks that punishment will work. She probably thinks that the things on his IEP are not helpful and she needs to take a firm hand because (in her mind) everyone else is letting him get away with things. My sister had similar problems with a teacher a few years ago - at least that teacher was "out front" enough to say that he felt the IEP was totally wrong and the child needed to be pusished into better behavior. That certainly makes it easier to say the teacher and child don't fit well together (and find a different teacher).

One of the things you posted earlier where he told her he couldn't concentrate and she couldn't believe that because there were only 3 people in the room is sort of telling. It shows that she is able to look at things only from her own point of view (ie She could concentrate, so if he said he couldn't, he was telling a lie). My youngest DD has ADD (among other things) and also has a lot of obsessive/compulsive thoughts. She can be unable to concentrate with just herself in the room because she's thinking obsessively about the car parked in the driveway and whether it is far enough up the driveway and whether the brakes will hold, etc, etc, etc.
If he doesn't know what the teacher thinks he lied about, my guess is it's something to do with a similar situation where the teacher can't believe someone would not think the same way she does.

Since the study hall was a support in the IEP and it isn't working at all as one, I'd think you could go back to the school and say "this support isn't working."
If you have no alternatives, I'd find a good article/book about Aspergers and ask that people who work with him read it as preparation.
Good luck.

 

[Earstou]

SueM in MN,
On the 5th day of school, I printed out pages from the internet and highlighted the areas that really described my son. The teacher sent this real gushy Thank You (my DH asked if she was being sarcastic, I still am not sure) and informed me the next time I saw her that she knew all about Aspergers, and had just worked with an Asperger child last year.
But she can't really understand Aspergers and be acting the way she does. She is an "in your face" sort of person, from what I've seen, and that definitely doesn't work with my DS.
I was going to wait for the IEP team to meet to remove him from her class, but now I'm going in first thing Monday and ask that the change be made immediately.
We told DS on Saturday that we asked he be removed. He started crying and asked us if we could tell the school to fire her!! So now I know it's REALLY been bothering him, I just wish he could talk to me about these things before they get so bad!

 

[mbb]

SueM in MN,
..... I just wish he could talk to me about these things before they get so bad!

That is the hardest thing for me..our guys can "start" to tell me..but things go to Stitch, video games and VMK references pretty quick...or something that happened 2 years ago...It's like a protective reflex for them - they get so overwhelmed..

More hugs.. Dinner...coming right up What's your favourite comfort food?

A crappy school day, and I self-medicate with sour cream and onion chips...(Dr. Phil is wagging his finger at me somewhere right now. )

Let us know what happens on Monday.

 

[SueM in MN]

The teacher sent this real gushy Thank You (my DH asked if she was being sarcastic, I still am not sure) and informed me the next time I saw her that she knew all about Aspergers, and had just worked with an Asperger child last year.
But she can't really understand Aspergers and be acting the way she does.

Sounds like you (and your DH) are right.

 

[Earstou]

Let us know what happens on Monday.

Talked to Asst. principal early yesterday. He explained the teacher's behavior as "needed" to motivate the majority of the kids that she gets. But, he did agree that my ds didn't do well with that behavior, especially when I said missing work had really snowballed in the last few weeks. He still wouldn't remove him without the IEP meeting, but the meeting is now for Thursday. I did have to do a lot of talking to get to that point, but the missing work snowballing, and the concentration thing got his attention. He commented that he sometimes has to close his office door to get HIS work done, so he could understand my son having trouble!!!
My DH is trying to get off work to go with me on Thursday.

 

[Earstou]

We had the IEP meeting yesterday and all went well. My ds is now out of study hall!
He came home and went when he heard the news. Study hall teacher was NOT in the meeting, and everyone else was SO nice. But as I was leaving, she asked what had been done, then started running around saying we hadn't done it right, so we had to reassemble. She insisted I had to sign the old IEP with the handwritten changes, instead of the school typing up a new one and signing it later (which is the way it's always been handled in the past). One of the other teachers was rolling her eyes, so I know I'm not the only one who doesn't like this person's drama!!!
My dh and I talked to VP again, because we are unhappy about the lying accusation. He agreed with us that Asperger kids usually don't lie, but said he needed to talk to the teacher before doing anything. He had taken points away from my son instead of detention, but, as the situation has been explained so far, I don't think any punishment is deserved.
Thanks for letting me vent. You people are the greatest!

 

[missypie]

I'm glad you're proactive in helping your son. DS (in 9th grade) has very mild Asperger's. Another boy in his grade as a lot more severe Asperger's. We've known the family since kindergarten and the son is constantly being punished by teachers for "Asperger's-like" behavior. The teachers are at fault BUT it seems like by now that the parents would have conferences with every single teacher IN ADVANCE of their interacting with their son.