How to word invitation...

[CrazedDisFan]

My daughter who turns 11 in August wants people to bring food donations for the Salvation Army Food Bank to her birthday party.

She read an article in the newspaper about how the food bank is running extremely low on food for the needy due to the current economic situation in our area and well the rest of the country. They have seen a massive downturn in donations causing what they are calling a crisis. They predict by the end of the month they will have empty shelves.

The situation is really bad here with closing auto factories, reduction in salaries, and will get much, much worse at the end of July when the Ford plant closes permanently.

So anyhow, how would you word this donation request on an invitation. We plan on inviting MANY of her friends.

I am beyond proud of her charitable spirit, which we've worked hard to instill in her. I must commend her third grade teacher (dd's entering 5th this fall). The third grade teacher spent a TON of time teaching the kids about charity, so much so that dd wants to invite her to the party.

 

[Michelle67]

What a great child you are raising! Good job!

If she is wanting to give up gifts and have people donate INSTEAD, then I would say "In lieu of gifts, ______ asks that you please bring a donation for the local food bank." If it isn't instead that she's looking for, then maybe you could just say "Please help us to help our community by bringing along a donation for the local food bank." You could possibly turn it into a competition to help get more donations; if she's inviting boys and girls you could try making it boys vs girls and have a special prize for the winner. My younger daughter's school recently did something like that (competition between grades in this case) to help raise money for a boy who was badly injured in a car wreck.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Those types of parties are simply the best!

Our food pantries are empty and it is a sad to see people turned away.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Go with one of the two that Michelle said.

And hugs to your daughter!!! Good job, mom!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter did something similiar when she was in 2nd grade- on the invitation we wrote "this year instead of gifts for herself ____ requests that you bring a toy to donate to a sick or needy child. All toys will be donated to ___ (and then the name of the place we donated them to)" Some people still chose to bring her a gift but most honored the request.

 

[CrazedDisFan]

Thanks for all the help!

 

[WDSearcher]

You might want to also include a list of what appropriate donations would be. Some people may have never donated before and won't know. Something like "Please bring canned goods or other non-perishable items" will be helpful to folks who may be wondering. Most food banks also take donations of baby food, diapers, and other baby items.

You could also specify something -- "In lieu of gifts, please bring two boxes of Hamburger Helper to be donated to the XXX Food Bank." Sometimes it can be fun to see how many boxes or bags of something you can get. I did that once with crayons for a local teacher's charity. I asked people to bring as many boxes of crayons as they could afford. I ended up with 500 boxes of crayons and the charity was thrilled.

 

[Cool-Beans]

You aren't supposed to assume that anyone will bring a gift, much less tell them what gift you want. It is so very rude.

Your daughter's heart is in the right place. She just needs to learn the basic rules. You don't assume you'll get a gift. You act happy about whatever you get - even if you don't want it or already have it. You never, ever tell people what to give you or that you didn't like what you received.

Your daughter should say nothing about what gift she wants people to give her. She can return them and donate the money to whomever she pleases, though!!

 

[AKBAFB]

I respectfully disagree with Cool Beans. In this instance, I think it is perfectly acceptable to say, "In leiu of any gifts, DD asks that you bring a donation for the local food bank." While I agree that no mention of gifts should normally be made, it is widely accepted and expected that one brings a gift to a child's birthday party. It's not as if she's saying, "DD prefers Brat dolls to Barbies, so please keep that in mind when buying her gift." I think people will understand the intention and not be offended by the request. If anything, it's much less expensive to bring a can or two of food than it would be to purchase a gift and gift wrap.

Congrats, OP on raising such a thoughtful young lady!

 

[WDSearcher]

She can return them and donate the money to whomever she pleases, though!!

And to me, that seems more rude than specifying a donation be made instead of a gift. To know going in that you're going to return something after the fact just wastes the gift-giver's time and money. The person buying the gift is putting thought, time, money, gas, etc. into the purchasing and wrapping of that gift. The person who receives it will say, "Great -- thanks!" fully knowing that tomorrow they're going to return it and give the proceeds to charity. Why not just say that upfront and be above-board about it?

You can certainly wordsmith it in a way where gifts are not mentioned. "Please come to Y's birthday party! At the party, we will be collecting food and funds for the XXX Food Bank. Please bring a donation if you can!" You can also add "No gifts please", if you want.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I'm generally in the camp that thinks it's rude to mention gifts for any party with the exception of bridal or baby showers, which are supposed to be gift events and I think putting registry info in the invite makes things easier for the hostess and the guests. However, in the case of what the op's daughter wants to do I'd say this:

If your daughter wishes to give a donation to the food bank INSTEAD of receiving gifts (NOT in addition to, I DO think that's rude) I'd put a note that I typed up on the computer in the invite that explains the situation. Something like...

'Dear Friends and Family,

In school this year dd learned alot about giving rather than receiving. She has asked us if we feel that her family and friends who might give her a birthday gift might, instead consider bringing a non-perishable food donation. She understands that she has much more than most people, and we are very proud of her. We all, of course, wish for your presence much more than any presents. But if you feel that you'd like to bring something we'd appreciate it if you'd consider dd's request and bring a non-perishable food item or make a donation in her name.

Love, dd's mom and dad'.

I personally think this is fine. It makes it clear this is the dd's wishes, and not something the parents decided. And allows the party-goer to make the decision for themselves. Just my $.02.