How to uninvite her?

[DisneyDorkORama]

I have a friend who is my best friend and has been since we were 6. I was talking to her a couple of weeks ago about how I wanted to go to Disney World again and was planning on going sometime next year with just my kids and my Mom...well my friend kind of invited herself and her daughter along. I honestly dont want her to go. Im not exactly sure why. Is there a way that I could possibly uninvite her (even though I never invited her) without making her mad at me?

 

[OceanAnnie]

How much planning has she done? Have you guys made any plans together after she invited herself? It's kind of a toughie. Has she talked about it around her (and your) DD? There is a real big gray area involved. I'd proceed with caution. OTOH, if there hasn't been any encouragement, or planning I think you'd be okay to let her down gently.

Still a toughie though. But you could let her know you were planning a family trip.

 

[EclecticWAHM]

I have a friend who is my best friend and has been since we were 6. I was talking to her a couple of weeks ago about how I wanted to go to Disney World again and was planning on going sometime next year with just my kids and my Mom...well my friend kind of invited herself and her daughter along. I honestly dont want her to go. Im not exactly sure why. Is there a way that I could possibly uninvite her (even though I never invited her) without making her mad at me?

Just make your plans and go. If she says something about it, just tell her it's a family trip. If she gets mad at you, that's really her problem.

 

[pilotwife_02]

Hmmm....not sure. I have an acquaintance who has invited herself along on a girls' weekend some close friends and I are planning on taking next year. Thankfully it's far enough away that I think we can stop talking about it around her and she'll forget about it or think we aren't going to go after all, but I don't think that would work in your case.

I agree with PP that you probably just need to tell her it's a family trip. There is nothing stopping her from planning her own trip during the same time you are going, but at least you don't have to plan "with" her and plan the same things (ADR's, park days) when she does.

 

[DisneyWorldbuff]

It sounds all hypothetical at this point, no specific dates have been set and no oney is involved. People overstep their bounds without knowing it( a lot). You didn't do anything wrong... just plan your trip with your family and try not to feel any guilt. You're entitled to a family trip without outside people

 

[Nurse_Mommy4]

IMHO the best thing to do is just tell her. If you didn't invite her then you would be doing nothing wrong.

Don't let it go on too long though, otherwise you will really feel guilty if she starts booking stuff.

I have a friend who thought it would be nice to go to WDW at the same time and has invited herself along for our 2011 trip and we're really excited about it! However, if I hadn't wanted to travel together I would have just told her because vacations are precious to my family and since we only get one per year I wouldn't allow anyone to invite themselves unless I was ok with it.

 

[ShannonMB]

It sounds all hypothetical at this point, no specific dates have been set and no oney is involved. People overstep their bounds without knowing it( a lot). You didn't do anything wrong... just plan your trip with your family and try not to feel any guilt. You're entitled to a family trip without outside people

I agree with this about it being hypothetical at this point. Just do your planning and don't mention the details to her. At this point, she may just be *talking*, you know, like "Oh, you're doing to Disney? We should SO go with you!" But with most of that kind of talk, nothing ever comes of it. If she does get wind of your plans and really tries to get in on the trip, THEN tell her it's really about the gramma/grandkids bonding and not a friend trip. Then say maybe next year!

 

[RochelleW]

Next time it comes up just say, I'm sorry I think we missed the same boat, I was hoping to have this as a speical trip for me and my kids or whoever) maybe next time we could plan an extended trip for all of us.

 

[crisi]

I'd handle this quite differently.

I'd take the "she is going to Disney at the same time you are" - Take the "its great you guys are going to be at Disney the same time as us - we should schedule a character meal together! Where are you planning on staying?" In other words start phrasing everything as "she will be there at the same time" not as "she is going along on vacation with you." Be interested in HER plans, then mention that yours are different.

It may be too subtle for her, but I'm guessing that eventually she will say something like "we'll stay with you!" In which case you can gently correct her - you are taking a vacatin with your mom and your kids - and while you really enjoy her company and would love to run into her at Disney, this vacation is about your mom and your kids and you think it will be challenging enough to keep your mom and your kids happy without adding more people into the mix. Disney vacations with a lot of participants seldom work out well for everyone...but maybe you can vacation just with her at a later date.

 

[disykat]

I'm with the others. You haven't invited her, so you can go ahead and plan your trip with no guilt. If, when she finds out you are actually going, she makes a fuss - THEN is the time to suggest she plan a trip too and maybe you'll see her there.

You didn't invite her, you don't have to pretend she did. If she claims you did, plead ignorance and say something like "I thought you meant you were planning a trip too."