How to talk to a child about their weight???

[BC]

I have a 6 yyr old niece that is a bit overweight and I am so concerned about her emotional feelings about it. She told her Mom the other day that she knows she is the "Fattest" girl in her class. When her Mom asked her if anyone told her that she said "No, I just know it. I am really concerned about her feeling depressed about it and wonder if anyone else has experienced this or talked with a counselor about it? I told her Mom she needs to stop going to fast food restaurants so much, but I am not sure how she should tell my niece she shouldn't eat so much junk without making her feel bad. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[mtemm]

does it have to be a discussion? why not get her something fun like a ddr game that she would get moving to, or make a regular date to take her skating or to the park to run around. treat her to healthy foods but try not to make a huge deal out of it. maybe head to a children's museum or science museum where she can learn about proper nutrition in a fun, non-confrontational way.

 

[lsyorke]

SHE'S 6!!! She's still carrying baby weight.. let her be encourage activities and let her be.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I woud maintain a positive attitude and give her lots of love & hugs. That is what she needs the most right now.

 

[mcnuss]

SHE'S 6!!! She's still carrying baby weight.. let her be encourage activities and let her be.

How do you know it's "baby" fat? Maybe she really is overweight. That's not a bad thing, but the sooner you deal with an issue, if it actually is, the better.

There are some good books out there for the Mom so she can help her dd. I can't think of the names right now, sorry. Another thought, rather than tell the Mom not to go to fast food restaurants so much, is to give her the gift of a couple of sessions with a nutritionist who can help the whole family get on the road to good health and nutrition. My dad, who struggled with his weight from the time he was a child (and whose mother told him it was just baby fat until he was 16), finally went to one at the age of 65, lost 50 pounds painlessly (ok, almost) and safely and has kept it off. I have seen one too and they can really help!!

 

[BC]

The reason I said stop going to Fast Food so much is because the kids ask to go all the time. I agree the entire family needs to change their habits, but unfortunately the father doesn't see it that way. What do you tell her when she asks for candy and cake, etc? Her Mom told her they were all going to start eating healthier, but she just crys for junk food.

 

[aprilgail2]

enroll her in a kids gym or other activites to get her moving...my daughter does eat a lot of junk food, we go to fast food places more than we should but she is 6 years old and not yet 40 pounds! She goes to karate 5 times a week,ice skates once a week,does soccer during soccer season and baseball during baseball season and a kids gym twice a week so it works off any junk type food she eats...

 

[tw1nsmom]

Please do NOT talk about weight with a six year old. I am working with my daughter who's five on this same problem.

I tell her constantly how perfect and beautiful she is. I talk about healthy food making us smarter and making our muscles strong. I say we need to have fun and exercise to keep healthy and build strong muscles. I never say we need healthy food, or exercise to lose weight.

You're her Aunt, not her mother. If she's receptive, talk Privately with your sister about nutrition. As for your neice...Keep telling her she's beautiful. As someone else suggested, buy her gifts that are fun and active in nature. Take her for girl days that include healthy picnics, walks on the beach, bike rides, roller skating, or really any non-food oriented activities.

Be her support and role model. Never say things like, "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight." You probably never would, but trust me, comments like those have the opposite of the desired effect.

 

[vivilasvegas]

If the problem is fast food, then why would you talk to the child? She has no control over it.

Talk to the parents. At six years old, they can certainly control what their daughter eats.

 

[bettyann29]

I wouldnt say anything to the child.. It needs to start with her parents.. they should be encouraging activities and cut out junkfood if that is what the case might be..

 

[Marseeya]

I need some advice on this too. My niece (8) is extremely underweight. She's so skinny, she just looks like a little skeleton with skin. She has such a hard time finding jeans that fit -- in order to get jeans long enough for her, she has to wear a belt that cinches the waist in tight. Even slim jeans are big on her.

She seriously needs to start eating more. How do I bring this up?

 

[vivilasvegas]

I need some advice on this too. My niece (8) is extremely underweight. She's so skinny, she just looks like a little skeleton with skin. She has such a hard time finding jeans that fit -- in order to get jeans long enough for her, she has to wear a belt that cinches the waist in tight. Even slim jeans are big on her.

She seriously needs to start eating more. How do I bring this up?

You should ask her parents if she's eating enough.

 

[icebrat001]

You should ask her parents if she's eating enough.

Some people are just naturally thin, they can eat eat eat and never gain a pound.

I agree on not having a discussion with the 6 yo, the poor child just needs to be enrolled in a couple more activities.

 

[vivilasvegas]

Some people are just naturally thin, they can eat eat eat and never gain a pound.

I agree on not having a discussion with the 6 yo, the poor child just needs to be enrolled in a couple more activities.

I know, I'm just about equal opportunity complaining!

 

[Nicolepa]

What do you tell her when she asks for candy and cake, etc? Her Mom told her they were all going to start eating healthier, but she just crys for junk food.

You tell them NO. Simple as that, if she cries, she cries. Eventually if the parents don't give in she will stop crying. My kids are allowed one treat a day. Maybe a cookie, maybe a small piece of candy, chocolate milk etc. When they ask for something I tell them yes or no, and they say OK (well my 5 yo does, the 3 yo still cries). My 5 yo understands that if she had extra one day, then they won't have something a again for a few days etc.

If the child is overweight, it's because the parents allow it. Nothing you say to the child can help, it will only harm. If they didn't go to fast food, or have junk food in the house etc she wouldn't be able to eat it.

 

[dismom9761]

This is something I deal with on a daily basis except that my Dd6 does eat healthy.She has come home crying that someone has called her fat on several occasoins.Last week we tried on about 15 pair of pants and none of them fit .She told me she hates being fat.The Dr. says she is proportional but that is hard to explain to a 6 yr old.All I know to do is to stress being healthy(we have to really encourage activity) and constantly tell her she is beautiful.And yes you do have to tell them no sometimes.

 

[dbarker]

I limit the "junk" snacks. Maybe a couple a week. When DS asks for candy, I tell him he can have a piece of fruit. When he refuses the healthier snack, he gets nothing. He is learning to eat healthy. Sometimes it's a struggle. But I have to remain strong in my decisions. I think eating healthy is way more important than what shape we are or if we are a little overweight or underweight. Everyone has differen metabolisms.

As an aunt, it is next to impossible to do much about what is eaten at home. However, when DN is with you, I would stress healthier eating (teach by doing, not talking).

 

[JennaTX]

This is also an issue in my house. My DD is not overweight, but she is on the edge. Since her birth she has been off the charts on weight and height, she has always been very tall, but it seems like in the last year maybe her height is not keeping up with her weight.

For me, I definately need to loose some weight, and have been working on it for quite a few years now (since I was pregnant with DD). So I worry that I am putting my worries over my weight on her. If that makes sense.

I don't want her to be so worried about her weight, but I also want her to be aware of it. It is hard with a child so young to talk about both being healthy, eating right, exercising, etc. and not bringing in the weight factor and not giving her a complex about it!

 

[shortbun]

imho, there is not some magic way to keep young children from being pooh sized. Healthy diet and excersize. Limit fast food to twice a month. Get kids involved in cooking and selecting of dinner-award healthy choices with praise and hugs, not dessert.Turn off the TV or limit watching time. Enroll them in dance class or gymnastics. Don't buy cookes and chips at the store. If you are going to have cookies, bake them; just bake a few and have the children help. Above all, do not tell any child they are "fat" or need to lose weight. Just get the whole family on a healthier lifestyle. At our house, we turn off all the lights and dance to our favorite music until we can not dance any longer. It's a great family activity!!!!! All of these things require spending time with children-imagine that! Kids benefit in every way. So do grownups!!!

 

[BC]

However, my niece is very active. She is enrolled in tap, ballet, gymnastics and soccer. She plays outside alot and can ride her bike. I understand we should NEVER tell her she needs to lose weight. My question was more in regards to how to answer her when she wants to know why we stopped going to fast food rests and why all of a sudden she can't have sweets and junk so much. Since she is already aware of her size thru comments made at school, I feel like she knows the reason why without it being said. I have read so much about children growing up to be anorexic and such that I am really concerned. Her mother is very supportive of trying to help her. Like I said, I suggested better meals and less junk snacks at home and her mom is trying really hard to do that. It is difficult as she has lots of little friends that are smaller and when she is at their house for sleepovers or just visiting, it is hard to control what they eat. There is also a little brother that is 2 in the house that wants the good stuff too, however, I know it is better for him not to eat so much junk either.