How to ruin your relationship with your daughter, ...

[okeydokey]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle...highlights-for-birthday/ar-BBIJiFU?li=BBnbfcL

This father got mad that his daughter got highlights for her birthday and he and his new wife chopped all her hair off.

 

[cabanafrau]

Time for the judge in the child custody matter to be able to hear from the daughter regarding what her preferences are about custody and visitation. She's absolutely of an age to give input. Father is a piece of garbage to treat his daughter that way or to be manipulated into treating his daughter that way by his new wife. Daughter definitely has the right to insist to the judge that she wants no further contact whatsoever with stepmother.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Sounds to me like Dad or new wife or both is/are peeved at Mom and took it out on kid to get back at her. Well dad and new wife are on administrative leave. Hopefully custody arrangements will be changed.

 

[cabanafrau]

Sounds to me like Dad is pissed off at Mom and took it out on kid to get back at her. Well dad and new wife are on administrative leave.

Time for them to learn about choices and actions having consequences. Kids who go through these kinds of battles with parents and stepparents suffer a lot of psychological trauma.

 

[Poohforyou]

I have to believe there was some assault with this punishment. I doubt the daughter stood there meekly and allowed that to happen. I know my daughter wouldn't have.

My daughter has blue highlights in her hair. She's 18 and it's adorable.

 

[mom2rtk]

I hope Dad doesn't ever expect to have a relationship with his daughter again.

 

[JaxDad]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

 

[wvjules]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

If you are not excusing the father's behavior then #1 and #2 don't matter.

 

[cabanafrau]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

No set of circumstances explain what was done to the daughter -- particularly in response to any miscommunication and vindictiveness he may have perceived coming from his ex spouse.

 

[JaxDad]

If you are not excusing the father's behavior then #1 and #2 don't matter.

They definitely matter. All actions of the parents with regard to children matter.

 

[JaxDad]

No set of circumstances explain what was done to the daughter -- particularly in response to any miscommunication and vindictiveness he may have perceived coming from his ex spouse.

I didn't say they explained what was done. I only wondered one scenario. I can't believe this happened completely out of the blue. I'm free to speculate on these boards aren't I?

 

[cabanafrau]

They definitely matter. All actions of the parents with regard to children matter.

They absolutely do. Because of her father's actions this daughter absolutely should have the opportunity to explain to the judge why her father should not be allowed control over her in any way until he understands why his actions were very wrong and is absolutely committed to never behaving like this again.

 

[cabanafrau]

I didn't say they explained what was done. I only wondered one scenario. I can't believe this happened completely out of the blue. I'm free to speculate on these boards aren't I?

You voiced your speculation as to why dad may have been justified in behaving so monstrously. I'm equally free to accept no part of it, absolutely none.

 

[JaxDad]

You voiced your speculation as to why dad may have been justified in behaving so monstrously. I'm equally free to accept no part of it, absolutely none.

I in no way justified the father's behavior!

 

[cabanafrau]

I in no way justified the father's behavior!

Then why does it matter if the daughter failed to inform her mother that dad wasn't approving of highlights or if mom knew and allowed the highlights anyway? Bottom line, dad's reactions to highlights is unacceptable. Therefore any line of thinking behind why he may have chosen to torment his child the way he did is absolutely meaningless.

 

[OhMari]

It is so unbelievable that parents are so blindly revengeful that they do not see how it hurts their child.

My great-niece is currently at WDW with her father, his new girlfriend and her kids, his mom, sister and niece and nephew.
My niece wanted to go along, since this was her dream too to take their dd to WDW. She felt they could co-parent and get along.
Her ex-husband said absolutely not. Same with her ex-mother in law. My niece is so saddened that she was thrown out of all
family gatherings. She understands, but she was not the one that wanted the divorce and she feels she was thrown out like trash.

I can see how the revenge of hurting starts.

 

[MSPeeler]

I am so angry for her!!!!!

 

[Mizzoufan]

I'd like to hear the dad thoughts why he thought it was okay to do this.

 

[LSUmiss]

I didn't say they explained what was done. I only wondered one scenario. I can't believe this happened completely out of the blue. I'm free to speculate on these boards aren't I?

I am sure there is more to the story. But, the part that “doesn’t matter” as posters are saying is that there is absolutely nothing that can justify his behavior. Disciplining or punishing the girl is ok & expected if it was previously discussed & she knew better. But what he did was cruel & unacceptable.

 

[sam_gordon]

I am sure there is more to the story. But, the part that “doesn’t matter” as posters are saying is that there is absolutely nothing that can justify his behavior. Disciplining or punishing the girl is ok & expected if it was previously discussed & she knew better. But what he did was cruel & unacceptable.

Absolutely nothing? What if the girl decided she wanted short hair while with dad but didn't want to face her mom and blamed it on dad & step mom?

There's something huge missing out of this story. I don't know what it is or if it excuses the father's behavior, but once again, we only have one side to the story. I'd like to hear what the dad says happened before bringing out the tar and feathers.