How to help kids who don't want to go back to Disney b/c Dad died?

[DVC Mary]

I'm looking for some ideas to help my friend & her children who lost their Dad
(50 yrs old) to a sudden heart attack.

They are still in shock & the initial stages of grief. Funeral is tomorrow morning. But one of the things the kids have been saying over & over to their Mom is "I don't want to go to Disney w/o Dad." "It will be too sad to be there w/o him..." The kids are 15 & 19. They keep telling their Mom to cancel. One of the issues is that the Mom does not fly & the Dad always did all the driving to FL. She can't imagine the trip w/o her husband, doesn't trust her son to do all that driving, etc.

We are obviously telling her that no decisions need to be made immediately. Just take it one day at a time.

This is a DVC family so I'm going to look for ideas on that board too.

Has anyone experienced this & how did people overcome this feeling?

 

[mommasita]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about this

I don't have any experience personally, but I would think it is far too early to make these decisions. Perhaps with time, and some healing they may find they WANT to go, and that he would want them to as well.

There are alternatives perhaps? A train maybe? If the driving seems too much for one, and that the Mom doesn't fly.

Sending thoughts and prayers to the family.

 

[Plum Pirate]

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear of your friend's untimely passing. It is always difficult to lose someone so young,.

I agree with the pp - it is much too early to make any long term decisions. If the family feels that their planned trip would be too painful (I don't think you mention when it is), perhaps they should cancel and bank or rent their points. Unless they need the money, they should definitely not sell the DVC yet - I'm sure their world is spinning and I've always heard that widows/widowers should not make any major decisions for at least a year after losing their partner. They need time to adjust to their new reality. In time, your friend may find a new way to get to Disney, whether it is flying or driving with an overnight break or whatever works for them. Disney may become a place to remember their husband/dad and to celebrate his life, or they may decide that it is not something they want to do on a regular basis. If that is the case, she could sell her DVC in a couple of years.

If your friend is looking to you for advice, I would suggest that they cancel their trip this year if they feel it would be too painful or difficult, but not to make any long-term decisions. In any event, it seems that she and her children will just need to know that you are there for them. Call her and talk to her, take her out to dinner, visit, or whatever - just make sure she knows that she and her family are important to you.

 

[DizFan101]

i feel it 24/7 even though my parents aren't dead. I'm dead between the eyes and worry 24/7 about death. I just don't know how to change my perspective.

I am sorry to hear about your friend's dad.
I guess you could always tell them that their dad is there in spirit and wouldn't want them not to have fun. I know it's hard to lose someone in an instant.

I know WDW will commodate people with sudden losses, but I don't know if they give a (full refund) but if they explain what had happened I am sure they will understand.

If your friend still wants to go but not sure bout letting the son drive all that way, perhaps they could get a train from where they live to Orlando?


I send my condolences out to your friends family.

Lots and Lots of

 

[jking6]

Maybe they could drive to VA then take the AutoTrain from there to Sanford. We are from NY and thats what we are doing this Aug as my husband usually drives but is unable to go on this trip. I think the kids will finally realize that Dad would want them to go and be happy. It may take some time.
I wish them lots of luck.

 

[mrsklamc]

I don't think anyone should try to help them overcome the feeling. Everyone grieves in their own way. If they never want to go back, it should be ok.

 

[Tpiejg]

I did not lose my husband but I did loss my brother to cancer. My son was 11 at the time. My brother was like a second dad to him. They were inseparable so the loss my son felt was similar to what these kids are experiencing. Anyway a family needs to grieve is the right way for them to grieve.

Time is the best healer of pain. So I think that if they dont want to go they shouldnt go. Although they will never get over their dad's death and not being there they will find a way to incorporate it into their lives and be happy again. It is just going to take time. I bet eventually they will want to go back to Disney and it will bring them happiness remembering their dad there with them. I know my son did just that. Now we can laugh through our tears about all the good times he and his uncle had together. God bless and all my prayers.