How to help child afraid to fly

[Bartoli]

HELP!!!! We are leaving in 2 1/2 weeks for Disney. We want to fly instead of driving because my DH broke his arm and, well honestly, I hate the drive!! My 8 year old is freaking out about flying. He won't tell me why he is afraid, just that he doesn't want to fly. Any advice on how to get him over this fear?

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I think you have to aknowledge the fear without confirming it. Tell him that you understand he is anxious but you as the parent have decided that this is best for your family. Explain to him everything about flying, from the security to the seat belt fastened sign and then shift your focus on the destination. Try to focus on the postive, doughnuts for breakfast at the airport or the cool new gameboy game that you got for him to use on the plane! Comfort and reasure but do not change your plans, that confirms that there is a reason to be afraid to fly. Chances are he really can not verbalize his fears. Good luck!!
Jordan's mom

 

[Bartoli]

Thanks for the advice. Well, you won't believe it. I explained to him why we needed to fly and encouraged him to tell me what he was afraid of. He went away in a crying fit. Ten minutes later, he came back and told me that he was afraid because plane's are too high in the sky. We talked about that for a bit, and how we could close the window so he did not have to look out and that he could play his gameboy (and yes, I admit, I did bribe him with the promise of a new game for the trip) the whole way and get a drink and chips from the attendant. He finally said "O.K., I'll fly."

Thanks for the advice and support.

 

[Amy&Dan]

My son was 8 the first time we flew and he was afraid too! I think because he knew I was afraid to fly, I hadn't flown since he had been born. But we wanted to go to a family wedding, DH had just started a new job and couldn't take much time off so it was fly or not go. I stressed to my son how much safer flying was than driving and how many millions of people had flown, etc., etc! The day of he was nervous (I was terrified but kept it to myself). We ended up both doing fine and have now flown more than a dozen times in the last two years. Once he gets on and it takes off he will likely be fine, like most things in life, I think its the idea that is scary and once you do it you are fine! I still get nervous but he and my daughter never do, they are experienced flyers now and just enjoy getting to WDW or wherever we are going faster! My son also loves to fly because I let him have his favorite, forbidden drink: Mountain Dew!

 

[poohkinandpiglet]

My five year old has anxiety and is very afraid to fly. On our trips we give him gum to chew, a CD player with headphones and his favorite music, and a backpack full of fun activities to keep him busy. Getting on the plane and taking off are the most difficult times for him. Once we are in the air he relaxes a little.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I think we have a whole generation of children that thanks to 911 will never look at flying quite the same way again. Most grandparents today still have anxious feelings aver flight but most parents of children have flown so much that they do not give it a second thought. Children, now becomming teens were effected more than many people realized by 911. My DS was 3rd grade and had a terrible time dealing with it. He did not want to fly for a long time after that.
So glad you DS was able to tell you what was wrong and all seems better! Have a great trip!!!

Jordans' mom

 

[amyjo]

See if your library has any books about airplanes--especially something that explains how they work. He's the age where that might interest him a lot and knowing how everything works might ease his fears as well. My boys are fascinated by airplanes, cars, and trains right now.

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

I second the notion to enhance his knowledge about airplanes with books, my neice was afraid to fly (5 1/2) and my sister was able to help her get over this fear by learning more about how planes fly..and even went to the airport, just to watch the planes come and go, was even able to talk to a pilot..so she came home excited to fly instead of afraid.

Have a great trip, and good luck!

Nicole

 

[drewsmom]

My son was 3 the first time he flew and was very fearful but when he got on the plane he was fine. We were going to WDW and my little Buzz Lightyear fan even stood up and said "To infinity and beyond!", it was very cute. We are going back to Disney and he is now 7 and still expressing fears and wanting to drive. I think he'll be fine again once he's on the plane. It's just the idea that is scary. I think the airplane books are a good idea as well and if your child is anything like mine, Gameboy takes their mind off of anything else going on!

 

[2tinkersmom]

I make a really big deal out of packing surprise things in a backpack for my girls, 10 and 6. Neither of them really have any anxiety about flying...maybe I have enough of it for all of us....but I definitely wouldn't fly without a bunch of things to distract them.

I get brand new books for both of them, stickers, pads of drawing paper, colored pencils, sometimes they take headphones, then I always put a bunch of treats like lollipops, gum, and snack crackers. They usually are too busy with that stuff and watching how the flight attendents do everything to notice how high in the air we are!

I have heard that you can talk to the flight attendents as you board too and they might even let your son see the cockpit or shake hands with the captain if possible. That might make him feel better.

Hope you have a wonderful trip!

 

[goofyforlife]

These are all good suggestions...

but I would also talk to your pediatrician about possibly prescribing something to relax him if flying is your only option to get there......

You wouldn't want to be like that family on SWA whose kid flipped out and they offloaded the whole family for security concerns because the parents couldn't calm him done....

 

[Bartoli]

Yikes!! I didn't hear about that. I wonder if the pediatrician would do it. Although my son has finally agreed to fly, I am afraid he will freak out when he gets on the plane. So I would not be opposed to medicating him (and myself).

 

[tinker-kyle]

draminine is OTC and safe for kids ... that might help
of course check with dr first

 

[kardiebelle]

DH is a pediatrician and he say do a trial run of children's Benadryl before you take off. Somechildren get very hyper and some get very sleepy. All you need is a hyper child on the plane. When children find out they get to chew lots of gum and drink a soda on the flight thay seem to be fine and exited for just that. Our children are scared too and as soon as I told them they get soda and gum they completly changed their minds about driving and want to fly.

 

[Bartoli]

kardiebelle- Thanks for the input. My kids also tend to get motion sick so I wonder if dramamine might work better. I did tell him that he could have a new game boy game for the trip. I thik once he gets on the plane and we are in the air that he will relax.

 

[DeeDeeDis]

I think your 8 year old is like alot of us adults, we hear the news, we know what happened in new york and DC. Unfortunately fear is NOT rational. And percentages and odds do not eleviate those feelings.

I would contact your child's doctor. The first time we flew two years ago after quite a few years of driving, our than 11 year old was very "nervous" about this. I was able to get a prescription from his pediatrician. I was hoping i would not need to use this, but as we boarded the plane he started to have a panic attack. So i had to give him a pill, and while we waited for it to take effect, we distracted him will alot of silly talk and games both dad and i at the same time so he was constantly trying to keep up with our questions.. This was a very MILD prescription, it did not knock him out, or make him loopy, it was just enuf to take the intensity level down a notch or two.

Well thats all it took, he was fine on the way home and hasn't needed help to fly since (we have gone 3 times a year since then).

Good Luck

Deb
p.s. Mom still takes a "little" some thing to take the edge off so she can fly.