How to get DH to save for Disney?

[JoshAndEvsMom]

It might be an ego thing. It could be that he knows how much you enjoyed it and wishes he could just take you without having to save. When you mention saving for Disney, it is a constant reminder that you cannot just go whenever you want to and that you have to work really hard to afford the trip. Things like that really bother us men because we judge ourself based on how good of a provider we are.

Oh my goodness. I have absolutely never thought of this! And it completely breaks my heart! I don't want my husband to feel this way. Should I "quietly" save, like others suggest, so I'm not throwing it in his face? Or do you think it would make it worse?

Thanks for your input! Its nice to have a man's perspective!

 

[JoshAndEvsMom]

Check out Couponing to Disney. It's a great money-saver blog by a very nice woman who wanted to go to Disney World more often without having to take money out of their regular paychecks, bonuses, etc. Her goal is to pay for her trips with "found money" -- couponing savings, survey earnings, buying on clearance/sale.

I have the same philosophy. DH goes around in a "money circle" where sometimes he thinks we can buy anything, and sometimes he wants to hoard every cent and hunker down. I simply smile through the panic attacks, and when I have a good amount of money saved, then I go to him and say, "I've already saved X for the (whatever) trip. With only this-much more, we can go." When I tell DH how much I've managed to save without it impacting our lifestyle or him giving anything up, I think he also understands how much it means for me to work my "magic" to get us there.

I think PPs ideas for calling it "saving for our next big vacation" are spot-on, as well as silently saving on your own.

PHXscuba

Yes! Love that site! I'm trying to teach myself to coupon!

 

[JoshAndEvsMom]

Besides thinking about how to save money remember what your last trip was like. Some feel like they have to do a ton of sit down or character meals, special expensive activities. Sit down with hubby to see what he thinks. What did he enjoy, what he felt was too expensive. How about giving all of us and idea what you did on your last trip so the board can make suggestions to your budget. Also look at mousesavers for ideas. Good luck both on savings and planning a budget that both of you will feel comfortable with.

Its actually kind of funny because when I think back on our trip there were a lot of variables which made it a stressful trip. Like I said, we ALL had a great time, even DH says it was amazing but it definately wasn't "typical."

1. My DH is a high school band teacher so the trip was actually for the band! So not only was he husband & dad, he was WORKING too! Responsible for 61 band students!

2. It was his first trip to WDW and we brought our DS4 & 10mo DD. Again, amazing with little ones but a totally different ballgame when dealing with strollers, breastfeeding, naps, etc.

3. My mom came with us to help out. My mom is great but let me put it this way: 3 adults, one child, 1 infant in 1 standard room at All Star Music... Get the drift?

4. We were really lucky becase he and I were paid for as staff members. We only had to pay for my son & mom's park tickets and our food. We didn't do a lot of extras. 2 TS meals, including Chef Mickey's, pre-paid photo pass cd, $100 in Disney gift cards so we would't overspend on souvenir money.

So what do you think? Is it the $$$ or the stress of the last trip? The next one would be as a family but with his 2 sisters and their families. 12 people total, 6 kids under 6years!

 

[Carina]

I still think its the not wanting to hear disney this disney that for 2 years.

Its why I have been told I am not allowed to mention it till I hit $5000

PLus - Maybe he would want the next one to be just your immediate family

 

[carebee21]

Oh my goodness. I have absolutely never thought of this! And it completely breaks my heart! I don't want my husband to feel this way. Should I "quietly" save, like others suggest, so I'm not throwing it in his face? Or do you think it would make it worse?

Thanks for your input! Its nice to have a man's perspective!

I would never "save quietly." My DH would be pretty ticked off if I started saving from our money for something that I wanted or though was important without asking for his input... It's both of your money and you should both be on the same page as far as spending and saving it. I think this is a good opportunity for you and DH to sit down and discuss why he thinks you can't afford it and why you think you can. Maybe in his mind he's thinking that in two years you'll need a bigger house, new car, more money toward retirement fund, or something else that will change or alter your budget. Or maybe a vacation or a Disney vacation is just not on his priority list. I would figure out what his thinking is, and then see if you two can come to an agreement on a monthly vacation savings amount if vacations are that important to you and from there, determine where to go. Or come to the agreement that if you can reduce the bills/grocery budget, etc by $100/month or raise $100/month by babysitting, ebaying items, etc, that amount goes into a vacation fund.

 

[JoshAndEvsMom]

The other part, which is why I am so confused in the first place is that it was HE who suggested the second Disney trip AND invited his sisters!

I've only mentioned it twice and only because he got our niece all excited so I thought he was serious. I backed way WAY off when I was met with resistance.

Thanks for all your advice! Keep it commin'

 

[*Seanaci*]

Drop the subject of Disney...for now.

But save quietly.

And then next year...call a family meeting and starting planning your next family vacation...be it Disney or something else.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

My husband would take me in for a psych eval if I wasn't planning a Disney trip, but he loves Disney as much as I do and is happy he doesn't have to do the planning. I think he'd divorce me if I wanted to wait 2 years between trips.

Op, I don't really know how to handle your situation. I wouldn't do anything behind his back, but I might not mention Disney for awhile.

Suzanne

 

[Carina]

I would never "save quietly." My DH would be pretty ticked off if I started saving from our money for something that I wanted or though was important without asking for his input...

I don't think quietly and secretly are not the same thing - I dont need my hubbys permission to put coins in a jar or put money away from something of mine I sold ( consigning clothes comes to mind)

Although I dont talk about Disney my husband does not wonder what that big water bottle full of coins in the dining room is for.... he even puts coins in it once in awhile.

 

[nrpofp]

My dh does not save for vacations I do. I put money from each paycheck into a savings account. My dh saves for the things he likes. He loves going on vacations, but I don't know that he would save for disney. We both work and are pretty independent and responsible with are savings. He would never say no to anything I have worked for and saved the money for. I will work extra shifts for our luxuries, and he nows better than to complain. He enjoys the fruits of my labor.

 

[mistymouse5001]

good luck!

 

[Taja]

Lots of good ideas and thoughts.

I suggest the dreaded "B" word. Make a monthly budget with your DH. Not a stressfull budget, but one that considers monthly net income and fixed and variable expenses.

Add a line item for "Vacation". You don't need to decide it is for WDW at this time. You don't know what will happen between now and the time you might be able to return to WDW. But you'll have the money saved for what the two of you agree would be a wonderful family holiday at that point in time.

And both of you will be on the same page!

 

[shalom]

3. My mom came with us to help out. My mom is great but let me put it this way: 3 adults, one child, 1 infant in 1 standard room at All Star Music... Get the drift?

This would be enough to make my husband hesitate to go again.

Have you considered off-site? Some times of the year you can get a 2 BR condo for the cost of a room at a Value resort, and with a crew like you're planning on one of the houses off-site might be a real benefit, especially if not everyone ends up wanting to spend all day in the parks.

I'm in the same boat. Normally we travel very cheaply and I cook all our meals. Which I'm sure is one of the reasons I like Disney -- I eat out there! But the reason we normally go so cheap is he won't save for vacations (or for much of anything except a retirement plan), and I hate going into debt for a good time. So I'm finding this thread very helpful.