How to deal with a REALLY bad week

[Disney Dad Canada]

I know I should count my blessings, but losing your job, as I did last Monday, is definitely a big downer. Trying to get my kids to understand "needs" from "wants" if difficult at the best of times, but now it's even more important.

From what I see, at least here in Toronto, the IT job market does seem good, but still, it's a bit hit you your self esteem when something like this happens, especially being someone diagnosed with depression to begin with. I know that tons of people have it worse than i do, but being a single dad I feel like I've let everyone down.

Just hoping I get work soon, preferably before our WDW trip on March 24th. A few friends suggested cancelling, but with almost everything paid for, I decided we need the trip now more than ever.

Sorry for being a downer, but I had to vent to someone.

 

[lugnut33]

Sorry to hear about losing your job, that downright stinks!!

Hopefully something even better comes along than the job you did have. I know it won't be easy, but keep fighting man. Good luck.

 

[Cherinva]

I'm sorry this happened to you. First off....you didn't let anyone down..this isn't your fault. Layoffs happen to a lot of good people....Try to stay positive and show your strong side to the children.

I'm a firm believer that when a door closes, another one opens...sometimes you have to learn to live in the hallway until it does.

Good thoughts are headed your way and best of luck to you.

Oh, I wanted to add this...GO on your vacation....it will give you some time to have some well needed fun and you will be able to reset yourself.

 

[JacksLilWench]

I'm so sorry to hear this! Sending lots of pixie dust your way

Definitely still go on your trip, and have a really great time.

 

[Moira222]

I am so sorry for you unexpected job loss. I was there myself in April '09, and did not rejoin the work force till October '10. Don't know what sort of help the Canadian gov't offers - unemployment here in the US was a big help - half a pay check was better than none.

Just a word of hope to you --- there are unexpected blessings to being out of work. Its not just a time to put a fresh face on your resume. its a chance to see the world from a different perspective, and maybe get more involved, even for a little while , in your kids' school and activities.

My DD was in kindergarten when I found myself home during the day, so in addition to taking on volunteer projects, I was able to help at a few school activities. The following fall I volunteered at her school once a week for 4 hours. Turns out to be a blessing that I did because had I taken her teacher's word, my DD would have been going to remedial math and reading and spending time at the school psychologist. Because I was there in class, I could see the interaction between students and the lack of control & communication with the teacher. Pulled my DD out of that school at the end of the 3rd marking period and what a change!

so, be patient, be hopeful, be diligent. Have a GREAT WDW vacation with your kiddos and if you get an offer, set it to start after you come back!

 

[SoScary'09]

That's what we're here for, so I'm glad you were able to come here and open up about it.
Best of wishes in finding a new job. Hang in there, hold your head high, and be sure to believe in yourself.

 

[mainegal]

Oh, Paul. I am really sorry about the job loss.
I hope something good comes to you job-wise. I hope you get a job soon. And if you do, I hope it is one that will easily let you leave as soon as you are hired so you can take your trip to WDW.

All the best!

 

[mainegal]

I am sure you will have a great time at WDW with your children.

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

Thanks everyone. Nice to know I have friends.

On a happy note, my WDW luggage tags and Magical Disney express tickets came today. It's a small thing, but it means our trip is pretty close!!

 

[sayhello]

Thanks everyone. Nice to know I have friends.

On a happy note, my WDW luggage tags and Magical Disney express tickets came today. It's a small thing, but it means our trip is pretty close!!

I think that's a good sign that you're definitely meant to take the WDW trip.

I'm in IT, also, so I know how the job market can be. Everyone says it's picking up, so I hope you find something soon. Best of luck!

Sayhello

 

[topolino]

The others have given you some great advice and support, and I want to add my two cents too.

As you stated, you're in a major metropolitan area so your chances are better of finding work there than if you were in some small town in Saskatchewan!

Don't cancel the WDW trip. The memories you make with your kids during that trip will carry way beyond this tough time, and once things start going well for you again, todays problems will seem insignificant.

I'll be sure to say an extra prayer for you and your kids tonight.

 

[AJRitz]

Keep your head up DDC. The best advice I can give, based on helping friends deal with this situation all-too-frequently the last couple of years:
1) It's tempting to wallow and stew over why you lost the job you had. Resist the temptation! As a very smart man once said, always move forward.
2) You may not be drawing a paycheck, but you still have a job - finding a new one. Treat the job hunt like a job. Devote fixed, scheduled time to it, and don't ket yourself slack. Everything job-hunt related counts - networking among friends and colleagues included.
3) Try to keep an open mind about you options. Decide just how limited you really are geographically. How can you stretch your skillset to meet different job descriptions?
4) having been the kid in this situation many moons ago, don't try to pretend like there's nothing going on here. Be honest with the kids. Let them know this is hard and you're doing your best to find new opportunities and you're confident that you'll find the right position for you. The unknown is much scarier than a somewhat harsh reality.

 

[daneenm]

Hang in there! DH is in the same position and it is not easy. In his field, QA and Tech Support, as a manager, the listings here in the Silicon Valley have been very limited. He is perfectly capable and willing to be an individual contributor, but when you have 100+ people competing for a position, companies can be very specific in the exact things you must have done in your last position to be considered. To be honest, it can be a blow to one's self- esteem.

All that said, I am really glad for you that your area has seen a better market. Keep focused on your job being finding a job and I am sure there will be an opportunity out there. Most importantly, try not to let this feel like a reflection on you and your abilities. I think this is the biggest stumbling block for DH. It is merely a reflection of the market right now.

In your down time, enjoy your children! DH has had more time with DD14 than ever before and it has been great. He does school pick up, helps with Geometry homework, etc. It has been a special time for them.

I will hold good thoughts for a great opportunity to come your way.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Hugs!

I had a rough day at work since Thursday. Here's something a colleague showed me from an author's blog. I found it enlightening...

"Don't take anything personally. No matter what anybody does or says to you, even if they should go so far as to walk up to you and put a bullet in your head, has anything whatsoever to do with you or who you are. It's all about them, about their thoughts, ideas, prejudice, and view of the world. If people say they love you, it's about them. If people say they hate you, well, that's about them, too. If you learn and internalize this (which is not easy), it can be very illuminating - and freeing." - Lisa Unger

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

Hang in there! DH is in the same position and it is not easy. In his field, QA and Tech Support, as a manager, the listings here in the Silicon Valley have been very limited. He is perfectly capable and willing to be an individual contributor, but when you have 100+ people competing for a position, companies can be very specific in the exact things you must have done in your last position to be considered. To be honest, it can be a blow to one's self- esteem.

Same exact job position for me. I was a programmer for years (after spending a few years in science), and my last job was in application support. Maybe a move from California to Toronto?

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Sorry you are going through some tough stuff. I know it sounds trite, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason...just takes a while to know why. Take care of yourself, and your kids and enjoy that upcoming trip!

 

[mommyceratops]

Sorry to hear that. It is a tough job market right now. I have been looking for a job for 2 years. I was looking for a job at anything. I just had limited hours I could work with kids.

I finally gave up and went back to school. I would still take a job over school but

Anyway good luck!

 

[grafxgirl]

I had circumstances come up in Jan 08 that ended my 9 year job. I looked and looked for graphic design work, but couldn't find it. Had 2 years on unemployment, and decided it was time for a career change since I wasn't having any luck with the one I was in. So during those two years, I managed to get some Federal Financial Aid for college, and went back for a Masters in Elementary Education, took on part-time work substitute teaching for the schools in my county, which allowed me to spend time at home with my kids when needed, and volunteer in the classrooms. I just went back to work full time teaching preschool exactly one month ago, and will be graduating with my degree sometime next year. I love teaching, and think I should've chosen it as my first career instead of graphic design.

 

[dansyr2514]

I strongly believe everything happens for a reason. It may not seem that way at first but I bet there is an even better job for you right around the corner. Keep your head up and count your blessings. I've gone through depression also and it's really hard not to fall into the trap of believing everything around you is crashing in. Try to count your blessings. Enjoy Disney with your kids and appreciate them.

I've lost my job days before we were supposed to leave on vacation before and when I got back I found and even better job.
I went through 2 really bad relationships in a row but when I was able to handle it I met a guy who I wouldn't trade for anything!

I know it's hard but remember when you are in a bad place, you tend to attract people and situations that are also bad for you. When you can keep a positive attitude, positive things will happen. Believe me, I know it is the toughest thing in the world to do....and may take time.....but try your hardest.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

 

[shellynn24]

So sorry to hear about your job. I too am a single parent and I spent most of 2010 unemployed. I agree with others who have said when one door closes another opens. I used my time being a stay at home Mommy which was great, and then out of nowhere I got 3 job offers in the same week! Just stay positive and use your time to polish your resume and apply, apply, apply. Oh, and of course spend lots of quality time with your kids.

I too lost my job right before a scheduled Disney trip. It was all paid for so we went and had a wonderful time. Take those kids on vacation and show them the time of their lives because it can't be all "we have to save money" all the time. When you get home you will feel refreshed and magical and ready to tackle the job hunt again (if you still need to...here's to hoping you don't).