How to bring your own food without offending or looking silly??

[pjlla]

I'm thinking ahead to Easter. We usually end up with TWO big meals (we celebrate on Saturday with my family and Sunday with DH's), but since my folks will still be away, at least I only have ONE big meal to deal with.

DH's family is NOTORIOUS for good food and LOTS of it. And doesn't it just figure, I am the most overweight one in the bunch! They all cook like crazy and have ENORMOUS meals when we get together, but none of them have a weight problem. Just doesn't seem fair.

Anyhooooo.....Easter dinner with be another "Eat-a-thon" and I don't plan on taking part in the event this year! And I am trying to figure out how to avoid it. We will probably be there almost all day (or even all day, if we go to church with them instead of here at home).

They usually start with a full table of appetizers. Those range from shrimp (okay on the diet... no extra fat) to stuffed mushrooms (swimming in butter) and lots of other cheesy, creamy things. (One very health conscience DSIL usually brings a fruit platter... GOD bless her!). So I will be able to tip-toe through the appetizers without too much harm.

But dinner is another thing.... lots of "adulterated" veggies (carrots with brown sugar and butter, potatoes with cream and cheese and butter... you get the idea), spiral cut honey ham, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes with marshmallow and nuts.

They know that I don't like to cook (and I'm terrible) so I am usually just in charge of bringing soda and beer and such. But I think that I will offer to bring at least one side dish this year, so that I will have something to eat without having to worry. But I'm not sure what to do about the main dish. I can live without the ham, but I will definitely need another protein. Would it look silly if I brought myself a small serving of grilled chicken or fish?? It's not that I wouldn't want to bring it for everyone... it is just that it would probably go to waste. They usually have SO MUCH food it is ridiculous, and a plain, boring chicken or fish dish would definitely be passed by on the buffet.

Any good ideas for a side dish I could bring? And what do you think about my bringing myself a small "main dish" justfor me?? Tell the truth!........................P

 

[Dr Pepsi]

I don't think I would bring my own food to a gathering like that. I might bring a lower cal side dish that everyone can sample, but I wouldn't bring my own "main dish". Why do you need two proteins? You could always bring something like baked beans (lots of protein and can be low in fat depending on the recipe) if you feel the need for another protein.

 

[ohiominnie]

I don't think I'd take my own meal either. You could try eating something satisfying and filling before you go--like a bowl of oatmeal-- and then at the get together, just pick the very best thing out of each category and have a small amount. For example, if the appetizers are shrimp, stuffed mushrooms, bean dip, vegetables and dip, and nachos w/ cheese dip, pick the ONE thing that you want the most (not necessarily what is the most "healthy" for you) and eat only ONE of them. Only one shrimp, only one mushroom, whatever would taste the best to you.
Then do the same with the meal. Pick only ONE meat and have a small amount. Pick only ONE veggie and have a small amount.
You shouldn't have room for much considering you won't be going famished.
That's what I'm going to try at our Easter gathering. There is usually a TON of good food, and by the time I've eaten my way through the appetizers, I'm not hungry for dinner (but still eat it). I don't want to feel deprived, but I want to be in control (therefore having the control to pick only ONE thing that I want the most)
HTH!

 

[disneychrista]

Have a small serving of the ham, it really isn't bad for you at 140 calories & 2.5 grams of fat in a 4oz serving. Offer to bring or just bring steamed veggies. Also allow yourself some small tastes of the other "bad" foods, so you don't feel deprieved. You can always make up for it the week leading up to Easter or the week after by extra exercise or cutting a 100 calories each day.

 

[rkandmjsmommy]

I also would not bring my own food, LIFE usually doesnt work that way. I have learned to eat smaller portions of what I like, its been working well so foar, good luck

 

[swim-mom]

I think your best bet is to offer to bring a dish and/or salad that everyone can share. This way you are including your food preferance without hurting anyones feelings, that you brought your own food.

Just an FYI, worse case you need to just do your very best to make the best choices and DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!

 

[lisaviolet]

I"m with everyone else. I wouldn't bring your own food.

Okay, this is my take. I know it's not everyone's outlook. But this is life. There will always be holidays and yummy food gatherings. And yummy food is what makes life wonderful. I'm losing weight and only eating foods I love. Not foods I like. Foods I love. And that doesn't mean there are not healthy options for me. I love a lot of healthy food but I also love a lot of not so healthy. A balance.

I really think all changes to lose weight need to be for life. And wonderful family spreads are part of life. I smiled as you talked about the stuffed mushrooms. Mmmmmm. I was imagining them, actually in my mouth , as I read your post.

Enjoy all your relative's cooking. Just don't eat as much.

 

[pjlla]

Okay... I guess your right. I need to learn to deal with it. I am going to bring a side dish that I can indulge in and a pineapple angel food cake (WW recipe) with a carton of fat free Cool Whip. Now... what side dish?? It needs to be able to travel well. It is a two hour drive to SIL's house and usually the oven is FULL. How about something in a crockpot??

SUGGESTIONS??...................P

 

[Tarabra]

How about the South Beach Diet mashed cauliflower? You make it basically the same as mashed potatoes, but w/ low fat milk, Smart Balance Spread and some low fat cheese. It's very good. You might want to practice a few times beforehand 'cause it's a little tricky to get it just right. Here's the recipe. http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Surprise-South-Beach-Mashed-Potatoes/Detail.aspx

 

[ENSOCK]

Our leader tells us for the holidays to do the tablespoon method. Take a tablespoon serving of each dish that you want. You do not have to eat the stuff that you really don't like or that you can have everyday. Not a heaping but a level tablespoon of each. After you eat that plate wait for about 10 min. before you go to the table again. So eat the first plate then wait 10 min. and have dessert. Most times you will not want to go again because you will be full. You do this for each course and at each meal. No you don't count the pts. for the day but it really helps from overeating. I did this at Christmas and did not have a weight gain over the holidays.

You could bring a salad or veggie tray. You can purchase the tray at Sam's or walmart. That with a low fat dipping sauce.

 

[Raenstoirm]

I am in the minority here. I ALWAYS bring my own food, whether it be to a casual gathering at a friends house Friday night or a full blown holiday meal. I have stepped on a few toes doing so, but as I see it, I am actually helping the host and myself, since they do not have to accommodate my meal requirements as invariably they always try to. For me, it is not just about healthy low-fat fare though. I am a mostly vegetarian (only eat fish) and I am very picky to top it off, so there is usually little I can eat at such gatherings and I have to ask "does this have meat?" "did you use bacon fat to cook this?" (my fiancé's family likes "country" cooking with LOTS of bacon fat). It is just simpler if I pop something in the oven or microwave and take a little of the salad from the main meal.
This really insults my future father in law, but he now knows that is just the way it is and no longer comments (although I can see it still irritates him that I cant be "normal" and eat the fried food and beef he serves at every meal).

 

[PaulaSue]

I bring one side that is healthy for everyone when I go anywhere. I know I have one thing I can slurge one and not feel bad. I like to bring sugarfree white choco pudding/low fat coolwhip dip, food colored for the holiday, with tons of low fat things to dip in. There is hardly any left and no I am not the only one eating it.

 

[Haley]

I would bring a HUGE salad-- dark lettuce, spinach, lots of veggies, NO cheese. And make a light vinaigrette dressing. Fill your plate up with that and just have little portions of the bad stuff.

 

[born2bird]

I am in the minority here. I ALWAYS bring my own food, whether it be to a casual gathering at a friends house Friday night or a full blown holiday meal. I have stepped on a few toes doing so, but as I see it, I am actually helping the host and myself, since they do not have to accommodate my meal requirements as invariably they always try to. For me, it is not just about healthy low-fat fare though. I am a mostly vegetarian (only eat fish) and I am very picky to top it off, so there is usually little I can eat at such gatherings and I have to ask "does this have meat?" "did you use bacon fat to cook this?" (my fiancé's family likes "country" cooking with LOTS of bacon fat). It is just simpler if I pop something in the oven or microwave and take a little of the salad from the main meal.
This really insults my future father in law, but he now knows that is just the way it is and no longer comments (although I can see it still irritates him that I cant be "normal" and eat the fried food and beef he serves at every meal).

I am right there with you!! I am a total vegetarian (no meat whatsoever) and almost always bring my own. My DIL even asks me now if I am bringing my veggie food. My BIL and SIL still give a hard time but I just let it roll off my back. It isn't any of their business anyway.

I would definitely bring your own food. I say take enough to share but don't let others dictate what you eat. I see nothing wrong with taking your own food. And while you will encounter situations where this option isn't possible, if you can control it at events like this, I say do so.

Good luck!

 

[Suzimom]

I'm with the previous poster who suggested eating a small portion of the ham -- if you stay away from any fat deposits, ham really isn't that unhealthy...portions, portions, portions...you can do it!!! Enjoying special dishes and flavors once in awhile (such as holidays like Easter) makes life fun, vibrant, and tantalizing! Give yourself a little break; walk an extra 15 minutes for a few days before/after or find something else fun and active to do in a different way. I agree that water, water, and more water is important as is slowing down so your brain tells your body when you're full. Remember...one meal will not defeat you. Enjoy your family time at Easter & try not to fret the fun out of it!

 

[JudyS]

I am in the minority here. I ALWAYS bring my own food, whether it be to a casual gathering at a friends house Friday night or a full blown holiday meal. ....

Well, there seems to be at least three of us who bring our own food -- Raenstoirm, Born2bird, and me.

Let me tell you about my husband's family. His dad, who is no longer living, had a heart attack in his 40s. His mom and two of his sisters are diabetic; a third sister had gestational diabetes, which puts her at high risk of diabetes in the future. One of the diabetic sisters is already a widow -- her husband, who also had diabetes, died of kidney failure and a heart attack at age 44. The other diabetic sister has had gastric bypass surgery and needed her gallbladder removed, and she's barely 40. My husband is a diabetic, and although he is doing fine right now (Thank God), he had a heart attack when he was still in his thirties. (He is now almost 50.) I'm diabetic, too, as it happens.

So, given that almost the whole family has diabetes and is at high risk of heart disease, you'd think the food served at family gatherings would all be healthy, no sugar, right? Nope. Another sister, who is not diabetic, is a professional cook. At Christmas, she made 18 different types of cookies, cakes, and pies. The rest of the food tends to be meat-and-potatoes-with-sauce type stuff.

To top it off, I'm a vegetarian, while everyone else eats meat. You better believe that I bring my own food to these gatherings. Sometimes, I eat basically nothing that the rest of the family is eating. So far, no one seems to mind. Generally, they compliment me on my willingness to stick to my diabetes eating plan even during the holidays.

I do think that my husband's family eats fairly healthy meals most of the year, it's just that they drop all the rules during holidays. I don't like to do that. It's too hard to get back to my diet afterwards.

What I did for Christmas is emailed everyone saying that I was making sugar-free, healthy foods for the holidays, and asking if anyone wanted me to try to make a sugar-free version of some favorite food for them. Of course, if you don't cook, you'd need to modify this, but you could email the family saying that this year you are committed to eating a healthy diet, and asking if anyone would like you to bring a particular flavor of diet soda, a particular type of cut-up veggie, etc.

Also, I have a few other things I do to avoid eating too much at these gatherings. I often chew gum for the first few hours, to keep me from snacking before the meal. I try to sit far away from where the snacks are kept. I generally pick out one or two desserts I'd like to try, and tell myself I can have a very small serving right before I leave.

One slightly sticky situation occured last Christmas. One of my nieces (the daughter of the professional cook) had made some of the desserts, and asked me if I liked them. Since she's a kid, I didn't want to risk hurting her feelings. I told her that I hadn't gotten to dessert yet, but that the stuff she made looked very good. This seemed to work OK.

Really, the only problem I run into is that after the meal, I'm annoyed at my husband for eating all sorts of junk he's not supposed to have, instead of the healthy foods I brought.

 

[ckay87]

I"m with everyone else. I wouldn't bring your own food.

Okay, this is my take. I know it's not everyone's outlook. But this is life. There will always be holidays and yummy food gatherings. And yummy food is what makes life wonderful. I'm losing weight and only eating foods I love. Not foods I like. Foods I love. And that doesn't mean there are not healthy options for me. I love a lot of healthy food but I also love a lot of not so healthy. A balance.

I really think all changes to lose weight need to be for life. And wonderful family spreads are part of life. I smiled as you talked about the stuffed mushrooms. Mmmmmm. I was imagining them, actually in my mouth , as I read your post.

Enjoy all your relative's cooking. Just don't eat as much.

Thank you - this is my take. If I could never have another bite of wonderful, fattening food, I would give up altogether. I wouldn't even try. But that's just me.

I promised myself that I will eat healthy and light every routine day of my life. In turn, there will be occasions - vacation, holidays, a girls night out - that I will throw caution to the wind and enjoy.

If you are scared to go all out on this day (and I don't blame you), I'm with others who say, just enjoy in great moderation. It is just one day.

 

[donac]

We are just having this discussion at my house about Easter. It is not because of diets it is about being aware of what everyone likes to eat.

We were going to my mom's house for Easter and then we found out the dbil was flying in to visit for Easter and it is also the day before dmil's 80th birthday. I cooked for Thanksgiving and brought the food in coolers. I had everyone over for Christmas so I cooked again. So dsil said she would take care of everything.

Yesterday I emailed her what she was serving (SHE DOESN"T COOK). She ordered it from Wegmans. We had the same dinner at her house 4 years ago (Which is why we have been celebrating Easter with my folks for the last couple of years). She served the ham not even heated through, scalloped potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, green beans in a white sauce. We don't like any of these things and we like our ham hot for dinner. I emailed her yesterday that I would come to her house and heat things up at my house and bring them to in-laws house (They don't use their stove because of oxygen reasons DON"T ASK) I have not heard from her.

When I told my dh about this his comment was "You were the one who decided that we should go there for Easter" How do I bring things without making her feel bad?

 

[Raenstoirm]

Dona,
Maybe bring some "extras", like salad, turkey (hot), a veggie dish, etc. That way you are just making the meal "larger" not taking away from her part. Depending on her personality, she might still be offended, but it is worth a try. Or you could always stop at a restaurant on the way and keep it a secret!

 

[donac]

I was thinking about a restaurant for later on in the day. Dfil likes to eat at 2. If things aren't on the table at 2 he starts to yell. So maybe we should just stop to get something else in the evening.