How to ask for specific type of present or no present?

[SeansMom]

I'll be having a graduation party, and I know some people will bring gifts no matter what I say. Is there a way to indicate what I'd actually like/need so I don't end up with a bunch of stuff I don't want/need????

Advice?????

 

[Gigi22]

How about asking guests to donate to a charity? Something like, "Our family requests that friends who feel inclined to give something to our graduate in commemoration of the occasion consider making a donation to X Charity instead."

 

[Redheaded Sunshine]

Unless you ask for a donation to a charity, requesting a specific gift is, IMHO, very tacky. You can always hope for gift receipts to return later.

That said, when I graduated, most every gift I received was cash.

 

[SandrA9810]

Gift receipts and Craigslist are your friend. What are you going to do now that you have graduated?

 

[An_Island_Girl]

I know plenty of graduates that were just starting out, and for their party they made a gift registry (Target, Khols, Macy's, etc.).

This made it so much easier for everyone, as we were able to get them gifts for their new apartment that they really needed, and no one duplicates gifts.

Congratulations on your graduation!

 

[okeydokey]

I think asking for a particular gift is tacky. Who is throwing the party? If it is your parents, tell them and then if someone asks what you'd like, they can make a suggestion. I have never heard of someone registering for a graduation party.

 

[brymolmom]

I just had this conversation with my son today...we're planning his 9th bday party and planning to make the invitations on the computer. He requested putting his 'wish list' on a sheet attached. I explained that this isn't a 'nice' thing to do. If anyone wants to give you a gift - they are being nice and generous enough to think about something that they think you will like or need and it is very kind of them to even bring a gift, when really just having them there to celebrate with you is the real gift. We need to be grateful for it even if we already have 5 of them already (yet another conversation with him - saying 'thanks so much' instead of 'but I already have this' - lol, but I'm sure you already know that part of it).

I think the 'no gift' idea is a nice and generous one on your part and not one that many graduates would have. I think the charity ideas listed previous OR just say 'no gifts please' is fine too. You will still get SOME gifts, but likely not as many if you indicate no gifts.

 

[DisneyMOM09]

I may be in the minority, but I actually love it when someone tells me what they would like. If I can't afford what they need/want I can get them a giftcard to a store were they can purchase that item. I don't want to get someone something they don't want or have no use for. My DD is graduating from nursing school and has told everyone in the family that she would like a nook color, so please get her a Barnes and Noble gift card if you are getting her a gift. We are all on a limited budget and this has made it easy for everyone to contribute to getting her the thing she really wants.

 

[TnTWalter]

If people ask, then you or your parents share your wishes, if not, be GRACIOUS about whatever you receive, as it is a GIFT.

Congratulations on your graduation!

 

[ceecee]

I'll be having a graduation party, and I know some people will bring gifts no matter what I say. Is there a way to indicate what I'd actually like/need so I don't end up with a bunch of stuff I don't want/need????

Advice?????

Tell them that their presence is your gift or suggest a charity they can donate to.

 

[sksjasams]

Are you an adult (say over 24)? If so, I would say no gifts please. For a high school or young college graduate, I would not worry about it because I am sure you will get mostly cash.

Congratulations on your graduation!

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

I may be in the minority, but I actually love it when someone tells me what they would like. If I can't afford what they need/want I can get them a giftcard to a store were they can purchase that item. I don't want to get someone something they don't want or have no use for. My DD is graduating from nursing school and has told everyone in the family that she would like a nook color, so please get her a Barnes and Noble gift card if you are getting her a gift. We are all on a limited budget and this has made it easy for everyone to contribute to getting her the thing she really wants.

We did this for my DD when she wanted an American Girl doll. For family(grandparents and aunts), we told them that instead of giving her a gift to please just give her what they would have spent towards her doll. Whenever anyone ASKED what she wanted, I said, "She is actually saving all of her birthday money for an AG doll so if you want to give her money towards that, she would be thrilled." I wouldn't necessarily register for a graduation party but I think if you are saving towards something, it would be perfectly fine for your parents to tell that to people who asked what you wanted. If they don't ask, I would just graciously accept any gift they offered.

 

[princessmom29]

My take:
If someone asks for gift ideas is it ok to share what you would like, but if they don't ask it is tacky to specify. You are saying "this is what I want you to buy for me"

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

My take:
If someone asks for gift ideas is it ok to share what you would like, but if they don't ask it is tacky to specify. You are saying "this is what I want you to buy for me"

Yes, pretty much every ettiquette guide out there says that if someone asks, you are more than welcome to tell them what you'd like, but to include it in an invitation is not within the boundaries of normal ettiquette rules. You can put No Gifts, or In Lieu of Gifts Please..., but you shouldn't include where you're registered (if you do) or anything else in the invite.