How old would your child have to be to be alone at the parks?

[kileybeth]

This is a really thought provoking thread. Made me think on different levels about safety, fun, responsibility. nice.

as a Mom of 6 very different, very individual children spaced over 23 years apart (yeah, we are nuts!) I can see how my answer would be different for each one of them! LOL!

No cell phones when the oldest were traveling with us. Yet we did let them browse for an hour or so here and there in same park and meet up with us. (ages 12 and then 14 I think, this was alone, they would both have been boys. . .)
Next child had those super powerful but static-y walkie talkie thingys. The older two went off for dinner and a few big rides for about 2-3 hours without rest of us Future World(ages11 and 16, again 2 boys this time together) we were eating around the world at food and wine festival!

Next trip we had cell phones, DH and I, last night in park, I was alone with then 2 yr old DS and was 6 months pregnant. DH seemed to go every where older ones went but they did go alone sometimes too (we would give them a phone) this included DD8 yrs. old sometimes with 2 big brothers. . .they did great. However, Mom did not and DS2 did not. At park closing , DH and 3 big kids wanted one more ride on Space Mountain, I wanted nothing more than to sit on Main Street and eat ice cream. DS had fallen asleep in stroller and had just had a 12 oz cup of water before he did, (it was only 62 degrees outside). He suddenly started to have a feibrile seizure. A long one and I had never seen such. CM's helful, park guest helpful, ambulance ride terrifying for me (still no response from DS at that point) but sorry long story short, cell phone saved the day, called DH and got him off ride and to me in mere minutes. DS is fine today and although I claimed I would never return to Disney (to many scary memories) I did just that 8 months later. It helped erase some of the uglies.

Next trip we had an DS12, DD9, DS2, and DD5months on a heart moniter that went off regularly for her. We were at Disney for some "sanity relief" from hospitals and NICU stays. It was a bit of a stressful trip for me but we wanted it to be good for older 3 kids. 12 year old opted for Disney Quest one day while we all went to Blizzard Beach. He had his own ticket, id, spending money, and a cell phone. Checked in every few hours. Left DQ to get some lunch at DD and returned for a while. We picked him up as we left BB. . .He's a very responsible kid tho. DD9 was not happy to not have same freeedoms and is loooking forward to her freedoms as she will be just 12 when we return.

My 2 now DD11 and DS14 regularly babysit on their own for several hours at a time. They also babysit for MOPS groups, for other families, and their own sibs.

Sometimes you just have to let go and let them learn. It is never easy. It never gets easier. However, it is very edifing to know, you have rasied them to be responsible kids. oh and yes, they will make mistakes and probably more often then you might like. (like renting $10 pay per view movies by hitting the wrong buttons on the remote!~ our punishment? well, don't get up now! sit there and watch the whole darn thing! <grin>)

could something awful happen??? yes of course, and in our case it most certainly did in the form of a seizure, thankfully it wasn't while DS12 was sitting with him while his father and I enjoyed a ride together. . .but it sure could have. life happens.

Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Work like you don't need the money. . oh and
laugh until it hurts !

PS I'm not an irresponsible parent so please no flames.

 

[Hannathy]

No flames from me Kileybeth! I agree whole heartedly and you seem to have the same philosophy as I do.


Ps. I also agree you are nuts! 23 yrs wow!

 

[kileybeth]

updated: our local bank was robbed at gunpoint a few days ago. My children could see no reason not to go in and cash their paychecks and change in for dollars a few days later. "Mom, he's not still in there!"

That was a very hard moment for me. . .I was tied to car with 2 in carseats and they have always gone in and done this in the past. . .

This week local Gamestop was held up at gunpoint. (different suspects, bank guy caught now). This is also a location I opt to wait it out in car for.

We do not live in a high crime area at all. suburbia.

what has transpired is a few more lectures about appropriate actions to take in such cases and how to be wise, safe, etc.

My kids seem okay with it, I'm a little wired still. what do you all think? DH says I could restrain them and then by time I let my guard down again, something else will come up. . .? or I could go in stores/bank with them dragging my other 2 along and then we'd all be so much safer with baby in my arms??

I did once take bike riding privledges to a local conveinence store away for awhile based on repeat bullying I was hearing about by older teens from a different neighborhood. MY DS didn't want to go back anyway, not worth it he said?

sorry if to far off topic?

 

[MommaPooh]

I've been following this thread with a lot of interest, and I have a couple of thoughts:

1. I would have thought that parents would be more likely to let boys go off alone earlier than girls, but it seems as if the opposite is true. What do you all think? (BTW, I have one of each.)

2. Cell phones seem to make a big difference as to whether or not a parent would let a kid go off on their own. Thoughts?

3. Do you think you are more or less likely to let your kid go off alone at WDW or at home?

4. I would love to hear similar thoughts as to what age you allow your kids to have charging priviledges on their room key card.

My boy is now 14, and we've let him go off on his own both at home and WDW for some years now. It helps that he's a boy scout and has had that training, and it also helps that he's almost 6' and looks more like a senior than a freshman! We have even let him ride his bike to youth group & scouts at our church (about a mile away) after dark, so long as he has the proper lights & safety equipment. It's been good for him to learn to be out & about on his own, and I don't worry. Much.

DD is wise beyond her years. She not only looks a lot older than her age, she is more mature than my 19 year old sister and my 17 year old brother combined. She is the reason we allow our DS to venture off. She mothers him more than I do. I know he is in excellent hands with her.

The cell phone makes a huge difference for me. I like knowing I can call at anytime and they can call me as well.

I let them do things on their own at home as well. They are allowed to go to the movies, ballfield, etc...Just not to the mall. They just have to be together. I am lucky, they are really close to each other and enjoy being together.

We do not allow charging on any of our room keys, so that is a non-issue for us. Everyone keeps up with their own cash.

Like your son, my kids do not look their ages either. DD is 5 foot 7 inches (7 inches taller than me).DS is also taller than me, shaves(not daily, yet), and is basically the size of a full grown man. He is stocky and solid as a rock. No one believes us when we tell them the kids' ages. I agree, the fact that they look older does make me more comfortable in letting them go on their own to a certain degree.

 

[digman6]

As the mother of 4 kids I could not let mykids go around a park by themselves. the park is way to big for that in my eyes at the ages they are.
I grew up in Chicago and now live in a small town in the country more or less, population is like 1200 people.I think that would be to much for them at this age at first

I trust my kids and there judgement at ages almost 11 and 8 y/o but I don't trust the rest of the people that are roaming around the park. that is pervert heaven as someone else here stated. I would let those 2 stand in line together to go on a ride and wait for them to get off but thats it. I figure once your in line you should be ok.

We are going at Xmas time so there is no way in the world I would let them alone.
Last night I asked them if they would want to walk the park together with out us for a couple hours ( cell in hand). they said , no way .

Besides its a family vacation , I would not want to miss out on any funny moments that they may have.

When they are older mid teens that would be more acceptable, but not at this age. kids lose track of time , and them trying to find the meeting spot well with all that goes on around them it could be right in front of them and they would not see it

 

[GrumpyFamilyof5]

Wow, this is a hard one, I mean alot of it I guess has to do with maturity, not all kids mature the same. How responsible are they...my DS is fixing to be 15, but would I let him run around Disney....probably not. Not just because he likes to do crazy teenage stuff, but unfortunatly in this day and age there are some nutsy's out there just waiting to snatch up someone's kid. You see it all the time on the news.
Some might call me being to protective, I call it being safe. I know you can't keep your kids in a bubble, but I believe in life we're all given a chance to make certain decisions, sometimes might not be the right ones, but as parents we try to do what we think is for the best of our children. Guess I just don't want to take chances on my child's life!
Hope this made sense...it's hard for me to put how I feel sometimes into words.

 

[Andy B]

Not just because he likes to do crazy teenage stuff, but unfortunatly in this day and age there are some nutsy's out there just waiting to snatch up someone's kid. You see it all the time on the news.
Some might call me being to protective, I call it being safe. I know you can't keep your kids in a bubble, but I believe in life we're all given a chance to make certain decisions, sometimes might not be the right ones, but as parents we try to do what we think is for the best of our children. Guess I just don't want to take chances on my child's life!
Hope this made sense...it's hard for me to put how I feel sometimes into words.

I believe that it is the perception of danger that is much greater than it was when we were children not the danger itself. Crimes against children have always occured but there was not the publicity that there is now.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I believe that it is the perception of danger that is much greater than it was when we were children not the danger itself. Crimes against children have always occured but there was not the publicity that there is now.

I agree. Apart from that, we have kids coming into our college counseling center with NO experience apart from their parents. Not a good thing. One can't protect our teens from all harm. We have to give them the best skills possible to deal with real life situations.

Apart from the fact that no pervert is going to kidnap a 15 year old at Disney. Perverts, ftr, are usually known by the child. They also do not choose well-lit crowded environments.

 

[Freyja]

I believe that it is the perception of danger that is much greater than it was when we were children not the danger itself. Crimes against children have always occured but there was not the publicity that there is now.

I totally agree.

 

[Andy B]

I agree. Apart from that, we have kids coming into our college counseling center with NO experience apart from their parents. Not a good thing. One can't protect our teens from all harm. We have to give them the best skills possible to deal with real life situations.

Apart from the fact that no pervert is going to kidnap a 15 year old at Disney. Perverts, ftr, are usually known by the child. They also do not choose well-lit crowded environments.

Besides my DS is bigger than I am!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Well, the oldest I was going to WDW with my parents was 10...and I don't think they would have let me out of their sights then. However, I know I was allowed to walk around Cedar Point and other amusement parks by myself (well, with friends really) as early as 11 or 12 years. Skiing was another matter entirely. I and several of my parents' friends' children (I was an only child) were allowed to go off night skiing by ourselves when the oldest among us had just turned 10 (I was 8). However, that was at small local ski resorts. I was 12 when we were first allowed to go off by ourselves on a mountain in Colorado, and then we had a ship-to-shores (i.e., walkie-talkies) to keep in touch with.

With regard to the boys vs. girls thing: As the lone girl among the children of my parents' friends, I was expected to keep the boys from killing each other when we went off alone. I also tended to be the lone voice saying, "No, we can't do that. The sign says not to."

With regard to charging privileges, I had such privileges pretty much from the time I knew how to sign and never abused them.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Besides my DS is bigger than I am!

So is my 13 year old!

 

[GrumpyFamilyof5]

Didn't mean for any flaming, we're all entitled to our opinions I guess. Not everyone is going to feel the same, we all do what we think is right or not right for our children.
I am quite aware that crime is on the news more now then we were children and that it did happen back then as well, believe me I know to well, but the you have to admit crime is worse overall then back then. Also people who commit crimes are more , whats the word, brave I guess in what and where they do things... I don't remember saying anything about perverts, though they are out there, but just overall someone who for any reason may want to snatch up any kid. It can happen anywhere, even Disney...it's a big place and someone can get lost in a crowd real quick and leave!
All I'm trying to say, I don't want to take that chance. I love my children with all my heart and soul(not saying anybody else doesn't), if I was to lose any of them because of something I did I would never forgive myself.
Maybe when their a little older and I know they can really take care of themselves, I might be more willing...but for now, I just can't.
Even grown adults are kidnapped or raped in broad daylight, it can happen to any of us, even me, all we can do is live our lives the best we can, have fun and be the best parents we can!!
Please no flaming here, this is just the way I feel as you feel the way you do.

 

[Andy B]

Didn't mean for any flaming, we're all entitled to our opinions I guess. Not everyone is going to feel the same, we all do what we think is right or not right for our children.
I am quite aware that crime is on the news more now then we were children and that it did happen back then as well, believe me I know to well, but the you have to admit crime is worse overall then back then. Also people who commit crimes are more , whats the word, brave I guess in what and where they do things... I don't remember saying anything about perverts, though they are out there, but just overall someone who for any reason may want to snatch up any kid. It can happen anywhere, even Disney...it's a big place and someone can get lost in a crowd real quick and leave!
All I'm trying to say, I don't want to take that chance. I love my children with all my heart and soul(not saying anybody else doesn't), if I was to lose any of them because of something I did I would never forgive myself.
Maybe when their a little older and I know they can really take care of themselves, I might be more willing...but for now, I just can't.
Even grown adults are kidnapped or raped in broad daylight, it can happen to any of us, even me, all we can do is live our lives the best we can, have fun and be the best parents we can!!
Please no flaming here, this is just the way I feel as you feel the way you do.

No flames were meant or implied just adding to the debate. I believe with parenthood comes a natural paranoia and it is difficult to overcome this.

We all have our style of parenting influence by many factors and it ill behoves us to tell each other what to do but we do discuss and by talking learn each others views.

 

[NotUrsula]

Officially, Disney's rule is age 8. That is stated on my tickets. FYI, no child has ever been abducted from a Disney park by a stranger.

I personally believe that inside a WDW park, this decision is more about trusting the child to behave and not bother other guests than it is about danger to the child. For that reason I feel that it is usually better when unaccompanied kids are NOT moving in large groups, but alone or with one or two companions. Kids in large groups tend to get overconfident and rowdy (see the Pop Warner issues or the Brazilian teen groups.)

FTR, my oldest is 9. He has been allowed to leave us for brief periods inside parks for the past 2 years, for restroom visits, to buy food in CS restaurants, etc. This year we will let him do rides unaccompanied while we wait outside, or vice-versa in situations where he doesn't want to ride something. Next year we will begin to turn him loose inside a "land", and by 12 we expect to give him the run of the park. By 15 I am sure that we'll give him the run of the property using WDW transport. It helps that he has an impeccable sense of direction and knows the entire property like the back of his hand. At the moment his weakness is a tendency to lose track of time, which he will need to overcome in order to be allowed greater independence as he gets older.

 

[CathrynRose]

I think it's up to the child. My now 17ds I would allow to do things earlier then I will with 11ds. My 11yo is like an absent minded professor. I can't trust him to use good judgement, he's done some pretty dopey things.

Same here. I have a 15 y/o I could have let wander through the parks on his own, YEARS ago.... he's fine.

The 11 y/o... - Ive walked past his room, after I sent him in there to get something, and I see him standing in the middle of the room....just looking around.

"what are you doing?"

"I forgot what I came in here for"

An 11 y/o with alzheimers. It's quite astonishing.

Use your judgment...

 

[Machta]

but the you have to admit crime is worse overall then back then.

This is the most interesting thread, isn't it? I think everyone is being well-behaved, and I, personally, appreciate the discussion and lack of flaming.

I wanted to comment on the thought above, which is common. It is my understanding that if you look at the statistics, crime overall and in particular violent crime is down nationally by a significant margin. There's a neat book out, The Progress Paradox, that discusses this among many other things. I think that we just hear about crime more because that's what gets attention (translation: higher ratings) on the news shows--you know the saying, "If it don't bleed, it don't lead!"

 

[Hannathy]

Plus they have 24 HOURS to fill not 30 minutes twice a day that had to be shared with weather and sports!

 

[chobie]

This is the most interesting thread, isn't it? I think everyone is being well-behaved, and I, personally, appreciate the discussion and lack of flaming.

I wanted to comment on the thought above, which is common. It is my understanding that if you look at the statistics, crime overall and in particular violent crime is down nationally by a significant margin. There's a neat book out, The Progress Paradox, that discusses this among many other things. I think that we just hear about crime more because that's what gets attention (translation: higher ratings) on the news shows--you know the saying, "If it don't bleed, it don't lead!"

This is true. Also the overwhelming majority of abductions are done by non-custodial parents and not strangers.

 

[Crazy4mandms]

Plus they have 24 HOURS to fill not 30 minutes twice a day that had to be shared with weather and sports!

Plus the Internet, where rumors abound and the truth is twisted and sent out as gospel and many people are like, "it was in my email so it must be true!!'----FORWARD, FORWARD, FORWARD!!! I had a co-worker who just repeated the story of the little girl who was abducted at the Magic Kingdom and was found in the bathroom with her head shaved/clothes changed to look like a boy. The same thing also happened at Target and Walmart, depending on the various emails I've received.

It used to be that reporters went out and got the scoop and checked sources/verified the legitimacy. Nowadays there are sooooo many opportunities for ordinary citizens to reach a mass audience and bombard them with all kinds of unconfirmed info (think youtube, myspace, even wikipedia)