How old before you let your child go off alone?

[crazymomof4]

Ooo, it would great if you talked to him about that. I hate to see girls/women infantilized.

Not to mention that most girls are more mature at that age than boys...

Wow!! These forums are really a trip! You just NEVER know what innocent comment is going to draw criticism or judgement, no matter how thinly veiled!! My son is 24, DD is 15. He held her in his arms the day she was born and the look he had as he stared at her face said, "I'll protect you with my life". How people can take that kind of natural love and devotion and twist it into something negative is beyond me! Not that I need to explain but DD is fiercely independent and headstrong as she has been since birth. The protective love of each of her 3 older brothers has not stunted her in any way.
Thanks, but I'll not take advice on our family dynamics from complete strangers, on an online forum........nor should it be offered by strangers WHEN NOT ASKED FOR!

 

[missbrooke06]

Wow!! These forums are really a trip! You just NEVER know what innocent comment is going to draw criticism or judgement, no matter how thinly veiled!! My son is 24, DD is 15. He held her in his arms the day she was born and the look he had as he stared at her face said, "I'll protect you with my life". How people can take that kind of natural love and devotion and twist it into something negative is beyond me! Not that I need to explain but DD is fiercely independent and headstrong as she has been since birth. The protective love of each of her 3 older brothers has not stunted her in any way.
Thanks, but I'll not take advice on our family dynamics from complete strangers, on an online forum........nor should it be offered by strangers WHEN NOT ASKED FOR!

Sorry, I don't have much patience for men "protecting" women. Your son is still young and can learn. It's becoming more and more prevalent for these attitudes to backfire on men, especially in corporate settings.

I carried my child for 9 months and held him seconds after he was born and still plan to allow him age appropriate independence so I'm confused by that comment.

 

[Minniesgal]

We let our 12 year old almost 13 year old take the monorail back alone to the GF while his dad and myself took the boat. He was in the room when we got back telly proud of himself.

I wouldn't let hm go off for an hour or more but to do something independent quickly we are starting to let him more and more

 

[crazymomof4]

Sorry, I don't have much patience for men "protecting" women. Your son is still young and can learn. It's becoming more and more prevalent for these attitudes to backfire on men, especially in corporate settings.

I carried my child for 9 months and held him seconds after he was born and still plan to allow him age appropriate independence so I'm confused by that comment.

You do not know me, my son or my dd. Nor do you know the context in which his comment was made. It was not the point of my original post, just a little side comment that I didn't plan on having to give any detail to (and still don't). You jumped on it and told me I should "speak to" my son and now in this post you tell me he can "still learn". REALLY?? What you have patience for or not does not concern me in the least so there is no need for you to tell me what my son or I should do or think..... on a Disney forum, of all things! Unsolicited advice on family matters from complete strangers is intrusive and rude and MY OWN "age appropriate independence" does not take kindly to that. You see, protective feelings of the males in our family not withstanding, the backbones of the women in our family are just fine, thank you very much!
I don't know what your age, but maybe this experience has helped you "to learn" not to poke your nose into the lives of people you don't know. If you want to spout off your opinions to your family or friends, that's fine, but to complete strangers? You should really know better.

 

[Love Tink]

You do not know me, my son or my dd. Nor do you know the context in which his comment was made. It was not the point of my original post, just a little side comment that I didn't plan on having to give any detail to (and still don't). You jumped on it and told me I should "speak to" my son and now in this post you tell me he can "still learn". REALLY?? What you have patience for or not does not concern me in the least so there is no need for you to tell me what my son or I should do or think..... on a Disney forum, of all things! Unsolicited advice on family matters from complete strangers is intrusive and rude and MY OWN "age appropriate independence" does not take kindly to that. You see, protective feelings of the males in our family not withstanding, the backbones of the women in our family are just fine, thank you very much!
I don't know what your age, but maybe this experience has helped you "to learn" not to poke your nose into the lives of people you don't know. If you want to spout off your opinions to your family or friends, that's fine, but to complete strangers? You should really know better.

Boy. That escalated quickly.

 

[missbrooke06]

You do not know me, my son or my dd. Nor do you know the context in which his comment was made. It was not the point of my original post, just a little side comment that I didn't plan on having to give any detail to (and still don't). You jumped on it and told me I should "speak to" my son and now in this post you tell me he can "still learn". REALLY?? What you have patience for or not does not concern me in the least so there is no need for you to tell me what my son or I should do or think..... on a Disney forum, of all things! Unsolicited advice on family matters from complete strangers is intrusive and rude and MY OWN "age appropriate independence" does not take kindly to that. You see, protective feelings of the males in our family not withstanding, the backbones of the women in our family are just fine, thank you very much!
I don't know what your age, but maybe this experience has helped you "to learn" not to poke your nose into the lives of people you don't know. If you want to spout off your opinions to your family or friends, that's fine, but to complete strangers? You should really know better.

Here's a really good way to not have people comment on things you say - don't post them in a public forum.

I know you didn't ask for that advice but I think it's valuable.

 

[BaseballMoM2007]

I am glad to find this thread we are taking our 14 year old niece next month for a baseball tournament at Disney. I was thinking about allowing her to stay in the room some mornings while we go to ESPN to a baseball game. We should normally be back by noon and then all go to the parks together. She really values sleeping in late. At some hotels I probably would feel nervous but It is something about the Disney bubble. She often stays home by herself while everyone else is gone to ball games at night so I think she will be fine.

 

[Hikergirl]

Boy. That escalated quickly.

 

[skuttle]

During our last trip, our oldest DS was 11.5. We let him do Sorcerer's of MK by himself. We would sit in whatever land he was in (eating a snack, letting his brothers nap, etc.) and he would run around and do his mission. Did the same thing for the pirate thing in Adventureland.

DS's younger brothers are still only 3.5 and 5. It'll be a few more years before I let the three of them go off alone. However, DH and I are really considering how soon we can leave the three of them in the room so that we can have a nice dinner alone in our resort! Not this next trip, but maybe the one after that!

 

[crazymomof4]

Here's a really good way to not have people comment on things you say - don't post them in a public forum.

I know you didn't ask for that advice but I think it's valuable.

I come here to discuss and ask advice about Disney-related subjects. I very much appreciate the time people take to answer questions I have.

The thread on this "Theme Park Attractions and Stategies" forum was about what age we would let our kids go off alone. (Disney-related) It is not about attitudes and feelings our sons and daughters should or should not hold to. (Personal)
You did not merely "comment"-- you gave direct advice. There's a difference!
If I had started a thread on the community board asking what I should do about my son's protective feelings toward my dd THEN your advice would have been 100% appropriate.

I'll say it again, UNSOLICITED advice from complete strangers on personal matters is intrusive and displays rudeness. Unfortunately, it's a common thing on the internet. "Internet Anonymity Rudeness".

 

[BudgieMama]

I always find these really interesting discussions to read as an outsider. Can I ask a question that might help me understand some of the responses?

Is it not normal for children to start travelling alone when they go to Secondary School in the US?
(That happens at 11 here in the UK, and apart from a handful of kids with SEN issues who would be a totally different kettle of fish, it would be normal for children to be out alone on public transport at that age... I mean, some of my students have an hour on the train in the morning to get to school or have to get public buses from all over the place, with connections to make, and no-one bats an eyelid!)

 

[Minniesgal]

You do not know me, my son or my dd. Nor do you know the context in which his comment was made. It was not the point of my original post, just a little side comment that I didn't plan on having to give any detail to (and still don't). You jumped on it and told me I should "speak to" my son and now in this post you tell me he can "still learn". REALLY?? What you have patience for or not does not concern me in the least so there is no need for you to tell me what my son or I should do or think..... on a Disney forum, of all things! Unsolicited advice on family matters from complete strangers is intrusive and rude and MY OWN "age appropriate independence" does not take kindly to that. You see, protective feelings of the males in our family not withstanding, the backbones of the women in our family are just fine, thank you very much!
I don't know what your age, but maybe this experience has helped you "to learn" not to poke your nose into the lives of people you don't know. If you want to spout off your opinions to your family or friends, that's fine, but to complete strangers? You should really know better.

I thought this was very well said and a ver valid response.

 

[Minniesgal]

I always find these really interesting discussions to read as an outsider. Can I ask a question that might help me understand some of the responses?

Is it not normal for children to start travelling alone when they go to Secondary School in the US?
(That happens at 11 here in the UK, and apart from a handful of kids with SEN issues who would be a totally different kettle of fish, it would be normal for children to be out alone on public transport at that age... I mean, some of my students have an hour on the train in the morning to get to school or have to get public buses from all over the place, with connections to make, and no-one bats an eyelid!)

Transport to school yes I see this as usual but I think the sheer crowds at WDW make it an entirely different situation. I'm also from the UK but wouldn't let my kids loose in a park before 14.

 

[missbrooke06]

I come here to discuss and ask advice about Disney-related subjects. I very much appreciate the time people take to answer questions I have.

The thread on this "Theme Park Attractions and Stategies" forum was about what age we would let our kids go off alone. (Disney-related) It is not about attitudes and feelings our sons and daughters should or should not hold to. (Personal)
You did not merely "comment"-- you gave direct advice. There's a difference!
If I had started a thread on the community board asking what I should do about my son's protective feelings toward my dd THEN your advice would have been 100% appropriate.

I'll say it again, UNSOLICITED advice from complete strangers on personal matters is intrusive and displays rudeness. Unfortunately, it's a common thing on the internet. "Internet Anonymity Rudeness".

I did not give advice. I said it would be great if you talked to your son about his outdated attitudes. It's my hope for a better future for women. It would also be great to win a million dollars but that's hardly advice.

This is my first experience with a person attacking me online and I'm just going to drop the rope now.

 

[missbrooke06]

I always find these really interesting discussions to read as an outsider. Can I ask a question that might help me understand some of the responses?

Is it not normal for children to start travelling alone when they go to Secondary School in the US?
(That happens at 11 here in the UK, and apart from a handful of kids with SEN issues who would be a totally different kettle of fish, it would be normal for children to be out alone on public transport at that age... I mean, some of my students have an hour on the train in the morning to get to school or have to get public buses from all over the place, with connections to make, and no-one bats an eyelid!)

I was talking to someone who was doing a stint overseas and sadly, there is a general difference in attitude toward kids independence in the US. A women was just charged with felony child abuse for letting her 12 year old stay alone in a car.

 

[BudgieMama]

Thanks, @missbrooke06 - the context is helpful, if a little baffling to me!

 

[cjparker0110]

At what age would you let your child go ride their own rides and meet you back up for say a couple of hours?

My parents let me go off on my own for the first time when I was 10. After that, I don't think I ever really stayed with them during our WDW trips except for meeting up for dinner and such. As others have said you must decide for yourself based on the maturity of the child. However, I want to make sure you think about it long and hard before you do it. I don't know how often you go. Maybe you're there all the time and it is no big deal. Maybe you're there once every five years. For most people a trip to WDW is a big expense and a family vacation. Before letting your child go off you need to ask yourself if it's a family vacation or just a relaxation event. IT will not hurt a child of any age to spend some good family time at WDW. I have few memories of my family on our many trips when I was young. I wish I had spent more time with them.

If you choose to let your child go off alone I would advise just doing it for a short period on one day...or a day when you want to relax and know they will want to be in the park. Don't let it be the whole trip or you'll have no memories. There are few pics of me at WDW because I wasn't with my family (and selfies didn't exist...haha).

 

[Dancemomof3]

My kids will be 13 (turning 14 2 weeks after we get home) 11 and 10. My 2 girls are the bookends and they don't like bigger rides. There are a few I missed last time to stay off with them. I plan on doing these rides with my husband and son this time and feel perfectly comfortable allowing my 14 and 10 year old to go on their own and do some rides that they would enjoy. My oldest babysits here at home and all 3 of my kids stay home alone fir 1-2 hours while im running their siblings all over 2 counties for their activities. She has a cell phone and is very mature and responsible. The 10 year old is a bit timid and will not leave her sisters side. She'll probably even insist on holding her hand, which my oldest will willingly do.

 

[crazymomof4]

"Attacking?"

Let's review. I posted a reply to the OPs question and incidentally added a quote of my son (not expressing dismay or asking for help with that). You told me "great if you talked to him about that" and implied that his comment "infantilized girls/women".

I did not give advice. I said it would be great if you talked to your son about his outdated attitudes. It's my hope for a better future for women. It would also be great to win a million dollars but that's hardly advice.

This is my first experience with a person attacking me online and I'm just going to drop the rope now.

"Attacking?"

Let's review-- I posted a reply to the OPs question and very incidentally added a quote of my son (not in any way expressing dismay or asking for help with that).
You told me:
~"it would be great if you talked to him about that" (that parenting advice IMO) and implied that his comment "infantilized girls/women".
~You said you "don't have much patience for men "protecting" women" (So then, "no patience" for my son's personal feelings). and then said
~ "Your son is still young and can learn." to change his feelings I guess, which are apparently wrong.. change until they agree with your viewpoint, then he will be right?
~ now you clearly express how wrong my son is by saying his attitude is "outdated".

Opinions and views such as how my son feels about his sister are personal and there is no right or wrong. What IS wrong is when someone who doesn't know you or your family AT ALL expresses words such as the above about your family dynamics. I'm sorry you feel "attacked" but my responses were a reaction to feeling that my family was being attacked, basically told we are wrong because we don't see things as you do. (we need to "learn" ie: change)

 

[gatorlisa]

I always find these really interesting discussions to read as an outsider. Can I ask a question that might help me understand some of the responses?

Is it not normal for children to start travelling alone when they go to Secondary School in the US?
(That happens at 11 here in the UK, and apart from a handful of kids with SEN issues who would be a totally different kettle of fish, it would be normal for children to be out alone on public transport at that age... I mean, some of my students have an hour on the train in the morning to get to school or have to get public buses from all over the place, with connections to make, and no-one bats an eyelid!)

I think the US is different that other places. Here, most public school systems have school buses. Public school students get to school by either school bus, where they walk to a stop near their house (usually at the end of the street) and get picked up, by being taken by their parents or other kids' parents in a carpool, or by walking/biking if they are within close proximity to the school. Kids who attend private school typically get taken to school by their parents. And of course, once they hit 16, many drive themselves or ride with other friends who have a car. It's pretty rare for kids to use public transportation to get to school, at least in my part of the country.