how often should grandparents see grandchildren?

[Keli]

I think PAW hit the nail on the head for a lot of situations. If I'm going to be completely honest I would have to admit that my relationship with my inlaws has directly affected my dd's relationship with those grandparents.

My MIL and I often don't see eye to eye about things and over the years I've tried hard to keep the peace between us but I don't really enjoy visits to their home. So I rarely go, mostly at holidays. Dh has always made frequent visits and often took dd with him but there has always been more distance in their relationship with dd than with some of their other grandchildren. I think that stems from the distance in our relationship. Now we do attend the same church so dd saw them at least twice a week there but I think she often didn't do more than say "Hi" as she passed their pew. It's sad really, and I do hold myself at least partly responsible for situation.

On the other hand I am very, very close to my parents and so is my dd. She spent much more time at my parent's home, with and without me, than at the inlaws so my parents had an unfair advantage in become the 'favorite' grandparents. My mother especially is very close to dd but that isn't entirely due to our relationship. DD has much the same personality as my mother and they both seem to think that the other is hilariously funny and has good taste in clothes, lol.

 

[poohandwendy]

Keli, you really illustrated what I am talking about. It is very difficult for adult relationships, especially estrangements, not to have an impact on the grandparent/child relationships. If there is emotional distance amongst the adults, it very often tickles down to the kids too.

It happens.

 

[princessariel]

I guess we're lucky here. We have 5 grandkids ages 12 to 2 and they all live close. We get along great with the DIL and the SIL. We get to see the grandkids often, most every weekend. We go to all of their sporting events and school functions.

I'm waiting for 3 of them to show up now (parents are both working) and the other 2 later. They are spending the day with Papa and Grammy and over night as well. We'll find something to do. Papa's a big kid and pouts if he doesn't get to spend this kind of time with them. We're even getting to take 3 of them to WDW in October! I don't know what we'll do with ourselves when they get too old to think it's cool to hang out with us.

If our DS in Orlando ever has kids, we'll have to definately become snowbirds so we can spend time with them too!

 

[Tinkim]

My dad passed away 10 years ago but he saw my DS every day because we lived close. My mom lives in the same town and sees the kids quite a bit. My DH's parents on the other hand are a bit strange when it comes to the kids. We are in NH and they were in ME and now FL. When they lived in ME we saw them 3-4 times a year when we went to visit them. Now they are in FL and the kids see them usually once a year when they come up to ME and we go to see them. They never call and if they do we are afraid something awful has happened because that is the only time they call. She sends gifts and cards like clockwork though and sometimes I have the kids call them just to say 'hi'. DH and I have been together for 15 years and his parents have been to our house three times for no more than 2-3 hours at each visit. This is a sore spot for me too I guess because to talk to MIL it sounds as if we keep the kids away but they really have no interest in coming to see us and never have but she tells everyone how proud she is of the kids. I don't know I guess DHs family just isn't close and it is wierd to me but to each their own.

 

[Stacerita]

The sweetpea sees her grandparents on a daily basis. These are my parents, her "only" grandparents. She also spends time daily with nana, my grandmother. She is extremely close to all three of them and they all love spending time with her.

My brother and his family lives not to close to them so they dont see his kids as often. But my parents call them regularly to see how they are doing. They make it to quite a few of their soccer games or special school things. And they go out there for weekend trips or invite one of his kids at a time to stay with them for a few days. Even when my brother was stationed far away they made sure to keep in clsoe contact so they would always be in the lives of his kids.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

bump

 

[Nancyg56]

When my DGD was born, we saw her several times a week. We would take a ride to see her, or DD and SIL would bring her to us, have a meal, and DGD would play with her Pa. Now they live with us while they save to buy a home of their own, and I really don't know what we will do when they leave. I cannot explain how it feels to have our lovely little DGD with us every day. I watch her during the day, and we now can continue to see things thru her eyes.
My SIL parents live about 30 minutes from us, and even while they had their own apt, they never bothered. Maybe once a year. His mother says when the little one is grown, she will visit her, and his father has only seen her one time. They had to go to him. I don't understand how anyone would not want to be around such a loving little girl, but I don't say anything because DSIL feels badly.

 

[dismom9761]

My mother sees my children almost daily and one of them spends the night every weekend with her and my dad.They like to have them one at a time.My dad sees them on the weekends right now because he works nights for the IRS at this time of year.They lived with us for three months last summer while my dad recovered from an illness and are extremely close to my kids.

My inlaws see my kids a couple of times a week and my oldest spends the night with them about once a month.They come to all of their events(baseball games,recitals,art showings,etc).

My children are very blessed.

 

[rt2dz]

My kids see my parents at least once a week. We live 1 hour away, so more than that is fairly hard, but it does happen here and there. They see my in-laws once every couple of months. They are constantly turning down opportunities to see them (won't come here--2 hour drive, won't meet us anywhere in the middle, and frequently busy when we offer to go there). Their loss, my kids will be fine with it in the end.

Now, my parents see another set of grandkids practically daily--they live a 5 minute walk away and my sister is always taking advantage. They see another set of grandkids 5 times a year. They fly the grandkids to TX from IL in March & August for a week and December for two weeks, and fly to IL in May and November for a Week. Sometimes they sneek in a long weekend in October or Febuary.