How often do you visit out of town relatives/grandparents?

[Beth76]

My MIL is already bugging us to come visit again. We were just there for xmas. They live 4+ hours away, not an easy drive with a 5- and a 1-year-old. They never visit us. When we do go there, they don't talk to us. They live in the middle of nowhere and there is nothing for us to do. The kids end up getting in trouble because her house is nowhere near child friendly.

I'm trying to get our visits down to 2x a year: xmas and her birthday (in August). Somehow we always get suckered into a spring visit too. Which is what this is turning out to be. Oh it's for Mother's Day, btw. NOT the place I want to go for mother's day.

Oh and FWIW, my son turned 5 on Monday and she didn't send a card or gift. She called at like 10pm, when he's already in bed.

 

[MoniqueU]

Not as often as I should. I am tring to make a better effort because my grandmas is very sick with I think it is COPD.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My sister lives in Oklahoma (I live in New Hampshire) and the last time I visited her was in 1999. She visits here once a year though.

 

[CEDmom]

My mom is in FL and we're in NJ so unfortunately we don't get to see her that often. She comes here for an extended visit about 2x a year and we maybe see her 1 other time for a short visit. Now that DD is 6 1/2 and can fly w/o a carseat and travel w/o a stroller I'll probably start taking her to see my mom once or twice a year. They have a wonderful relationship.

My MIL lives about 45 minutes from us. We last saw her in October. She's not big on holidays and having her here is very stressful for me. She doesn't really know DD that well by her own choosing so it's not a lot of fun for her either.

In your situation can't your DH go see his parents w/o you and the kids?

 

[mickeyboat]

FIL lives less than 2 miles from us, and we see him much more often than i would like.

My dad lives in AZ, my mom in NC, and they saw the kids last August. There are no plans in the works for my mom to see them any time soon, and we will see my dad at his family's reunion in June for a couple of days. Dad and his wife were supposed to visit for Christmas last year, but didn't because they had just moved to AZ, and decided a trip to San Diego would be a lot more fun. I'm not bitter, or anything.

To be perfectly frank, I have spent a lot of time, money and energy getting my kids down to NC (and now throw in AZ) to see my parents over the years. The road goes both ways. They are a lot more portable than we are - especially now that the kids are in school. I only have so much vacation time, and DH is self-employed, so we like to spend our vacations doing stuff, not traveling to visit other people. So I don't know what is going to happen from here on out. It's just too bad that my kids won't have any better relationship with my parents than I did with my grandparents.

Denae

 

[EthansMom]

My family is on the West Coast and we are currently living on the East Coast. Since we moved here two years ago, we met my Mom and Stepdad at WDW and my Dad and Stepmom haven't made any effort to visit us. We'll be going back to visit my family in July and it'll be the first time in two years that I'll have seen my Dad and my brother.

Occasionally, my Dad or Stepmom will say, "When are you going to visit?" Hello???? It's several thousand miles and takes an entire day on an airplane. With kids, it's a pretty miserable trip and costs almost as much as an entire week at Disney.

Right now, we live near the in-laws. But a couple years ago, we lived further south by 5 hours (by car). We were spending every 3 day weekend and most holidays driving up to see the ILs and they RARELY visited us. Finally, one three-day weekend we decided to stay home and everyone asked why we weren't coming to visit. We said, "How about if you come visit us for a change?" The response was, "Are you kidding? Do you know how long that drive takes?"

My advice would be to say, "I'm sorry. We already have plans. You're more than welcome to come visit us the following weekend, though."

 

[kydisneyfans]

We live 5 hours away from both sets of parents-close enough for a weekend visit, but far enough away to live our own lives.

As said earlier, I75/71 goes both directions, initially we were going "home" every 6 weeks or so, with a few visits from my side of the family. Now we try to visit once a quarter, plus my parents come to us once every 10 weeks or so. They also use the trip to stock up at Meijer as they don't have one in Northeast Ohio.

With a 7 year old in baseball and games every Saturday-it is difficult to go anywhere.

 

[Longsx3]

We currently live outside of the US but we typically see our Family in Florida 2 times a year and once a year for other family.

 

[Christine]

I try to NEVER do it. My in-laws are about 4 hours away also. Too long for a day trip. I really hate staying at other people's homes, no matter who they are. When I go somewhere I just need to do stuff. My in-laws live pretty much in the middle of nowhere. When I last visited them, I got up in the morning, showered, had my breakfast, and proceeded to sit on the couch for 8 hours watching the nephews play X-Box. I mean what else was there to do???? It drives me INSANE!!!!!

 

[azgal81]

I live in AZ my parents/brother live in IN I see them for chirstmas, thanksgiving and sometimes they will come out here to see me in the middle of the year. I see my grandparents who live in MI/IA either christmas/thanksgiving depending on the family plans. Although my grandparents are snowbirds out here for a few months a year even with them living 30 minutes from me I only see them a few times until they go back to IA. My aunts and uncles I only really see for holidays as well.

 

[mtemm]

when we moved 5 hours away from family, our eldest was just 8 months old or so. We came back for the first christmas and his first birthday that year, then told everyone that they would have to come to us. It was too much of a pita, at least for holidays. We did make it back a handful of other non-holiday times, but they mostly came to us.

 

[olena]

I know that all too well. My relatives are "too busy" to visit us and do so very rarely, but we always get asked when we're making a trip to see them. I guess it's true what they say about some roads only being one-way...... In this instance, I'm talking about extended family. My in-laws are pretty good about visiting, especially for a couple that almost never travels anywhere. They come down every other year and we go there once a year....about 600 miles away. My Mom comes up from FL twice a year and we try to go there annually.

It's just my other relatives that get me. The fact that I'm too blind to drive and can't just hop into a car to pop on over for a quick visit just doesn't seem to register with them.

 

[canwegosoon]

My family is on the West Coast and we are currently living on the East Coast. Since we moved here two years ago, we met my Mom and Stepdad at WDW and my Dad and Stepmom haven't made any effort to visit us. We'll be going back to visit my family in July and it'll be the first time in two years that I'll have seen my Dad and my brother.

Occasionally, my Dad or Stepmom will say, "When are you going to visit?" Hello???? It's several thousand miles and takes an entire day on an airplane. With kids, it's a pretty miserable trip and costs almost as much as an entire week at Disney.

Right now, we live near the in-laws. But a couple years ago, we lived further south by 5 hours (by car). We were spending every 3 day weekend and most holidays driving up to see the ILs and they RARELY visited us. Finally, one three-day weekend we decided to stay home and everyone asked why we weren't coming to visit. We said, "How about if you come visit us for a change?" The response was, "Are you kidding? Do you know how long that drive takes?"

My advice would be to say, "I'm sorry. We already have plans. You're more than welcome to come visit us the following weekend, though."

We have similar families...I loved your advice...I am down to 2 visits a year-Max...and now MIL is making an effort to come up 3 times a year. But my parents do not drive anymore...I guess they should have made a bigger effort when they could drive-my kids do not know any of their GP's, Aunts and Uncles and Neices. Seeing most of them 1-2 times a year. And now my kids are getting too involved in school and sports to go anywhere on the weekends... No one wins.

 

[golfgal]

It really varies, my family as little as possible, DH's family 3-5 times/year. No one comes to visit us either. "It's too far, why don't you come here?" because it is closer driving from our house to their house then it is from their house to our house.

 

[dizagain]

Well, we were living 10 minutes from in-laws for the last five years. We saw them all the time....at THEIR house.

Now we have moved to the Chicago area and they have moved to Georgia. My mother is also in Georgia and father is in Alabama so all are within 4 hours of each other. Last July I took DD's on a round of all three, we were down for weddings in October and December and saw all at least once.

NONE of them will come up here to see us except for my mom who makes the effort about every 2-3 months which is WONDERFUL. Well, DD's are 10 and 12 and we have a baby on the way...if they want to see us, they know where we live. I'm not holding my breath...I mean the in-laws would have to leave their dogs in order to see their grandkids for goodness sakes!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since moving away from St. Louis last year, we have seen DH's brother & family 3 times! They have stayed with us twice. That was a nice surprise.

My parents came down once when we moved in. My mom and sister came together once to see us.

We went to see everyone at Christmas. I hate holiday visits. People have other plans and it is stressful and my kids always get sick. I told dh we will visit the family but it will be not during a holiday! I prefer a leisurely visit during the summer when you can do stuff.

We have plans to go to Branson with our friends from Mo, in June. I don't know if we will pop in and see family...probably not, I don't know.

Now dh's dad??? We never see him.

 

[Kitty 34]

I visit my sister every summer in Sturgis, MI and she comes up here a few times as our Mom lives next door to me.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

We live in AZ and have family all over. 1 set of grandparents and 1 aunt in TX, 1 set of grandparents in GA, 1 set of grandparents in MO and another aunt in IL.

Since moving out here (18 months ago), everyone but the GA group has been here to visit (she doesn't like to fly, and he refuses to drive from GA to AZ "just for a visit"). We did meet them at WDW in Sept though. We have been to MO and will go to TX this summer. We try to keep it even as much as possible. Of course everyone liked it better when we lived in LA since we were centrally located.

 

[Beth76]

You know, after reading, I think I'll tell DH to invite them down. My older son is starting baseball and will have games almost every weekend for the next couple of months. We can invite them down to see a game. The games are near a very developed area with lots of restaurants and hotels. And right off the highway, very easy to get to. They could come see a game then go to dinner with us. Then we could have breakfast with them the next morning and off they go! I'm sure DH will love it too. Now, lets just see how MIL reacts to this.

Thanks everyone!

 

[Stitchfans]

My dad, and youngest brother live about 45 minutes away. I seem them every couple months. Some months more. That is only because THEY are so busy. If I had my way it would be more. When my mom was a live I went nearly every weekend. As a matter of fact when I was married to my ex husband it wasn't unusual for him and I to fight and I'd pack up my oldest DD and my clothes and stay with my folks for weeks on end. The longest we stayed with them was 3 months. He never called and I didn't care.

Therefore he is now my ex.