How often do you go out without the kids??

[Bunchkin]

And I don't mean to the grocery store or to run other errands!!!

I mean you and your DH, DW or SO actually going out for a no children date/night out.

We are not as fortunate as some people in having a lot of family to watch our children if we want to go out. In fact I have no family to count on and my DH's family lives on the west coast, so that doesn't work either.
And we do really love and enjoy going out as a family.

My DH and I went to see Bon Jovi, again , this past Friday and our good friend watched our children. She brought hers along to play. They had a great time.

Here's the part that's the big deal in all of this.
It was our first 'date' in almost 4 years!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else date deprived?? Or is everyone else fortunate to have lots of dependable family??

 

[Steve H.]

We try to go out, just the two of us, once a month. Reality is, however, more like once every two or three months -- we're just too busy with everything.

 

[CamColt]

Wow! And I thought I dont get out much. Glad you got to have your date. That must have ben fun.

DH's family is useless for watching our kids, but luckily my parents live right around the corner and my sister and her family are on the other side of town. During the day I dont have much chance for a sitter since everyone works, but my parents will take the kids from time to time at night for DH and I to go out. Id say we probably get between 5-10 nights out a year. Some of those they keep the kids over night and sometimes its just for us to go out for a quick dinner. Usually the overnight times are for events such as weddings, DH's company's holiday party, etc..
In fact this Saturday night is going to be an overnighter so DH and I can go out to celebrate our anniversary which is on Tuesday.

 

[dbond]

4 YEARS! I love my kids dearly but I have to have time away from them with DH to regroup. We try to get out alone at least 3-4 times a month. You need to establish a list of teenage babysitters. Our church has a large Youth group and the kids are anxious to make extra money. Do you belong to a church? The Youth dept of a church is a great place to meet teenagers that you can develop a great long term babysitting relationship with. We don't do much when we go out, it's just usually quiet time for us to talk about adult stuff without kids interrupting. Sometimes we'll feed the kids at home and just go out for a quiet dinner, and it doesn't even have to be a nice restaurant, Wendy's or our favorite Chinese on the corner will do nicely. Sometimes we spend date night shopping at the mall or Best Buy without kids begging us to buy them something. It's time well spent with your DH, and your kids need to know that the relationship with your DH is special and worthy of alone time. I have teenagers of my own now, so I now have a built in babysitter for DS (9), although they are so busy, I often have to call on their friends. We have developed life long relationships with the kids that are now adults that babysat for me for years. In fact, I'm now buying baby gifts for those kids that have grown up and started families of their own. Good luck!

 

[BWVDenise]

Do weddings count? If not, it's been several years. It used to bother me but I'm getting used to it now.

 

[lizzie64]

Oh Bunchkin,
Count me in on the 4 year club. DH and I just celebrated our anniversary Sunday. And aside from quick errands to Home Depot and the grocery store when DD15 or DS15 watch DS4 and DS2, that was the first time in 4 years.

Both little guys were very attached and both nursed until they were into their 2's. So now, the little guy is all weaned and becoming more independant.

Hopefully now I see a light at the end of the tunnel and we should be able to go out together a little more often.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Can my answer be "not often enough?"

DH and I try to go out upon occasion without the kids, but unless we have something specific to do we tend to forget. So it is rare for us to plan a night out for just the two of us, but if there is an invitation to something we will try to get a sitter (or recruit a parent) to watch the kids.

 

[becka]

We also don't have family available so we don't go out too often.

It has probably averaged about once every 3 months or so which is not too bad. We do try to meet for lunch about once every month or so and that helps.

In my mind I spend too much time away from DS as it is so I am not too motivated to find ways to spend more time away from him during the weekends, etc.. It does help that he goes to bed by 7:30 every evening so DH and I have a few hours most nights to spend together at home.

 

[believe]

Originally posted by Steve H:

We try to go out, just the two of us, once a month. Reality is, however, more like once every two or three months -- we're just too busy with everything.

We have the same situation. The only day we can really go out together is Saturday, since we work opposite shifts and those are typically booked months in advance.

 

[CEDmom]

DH and I don't have family around either so it makes things more difficult. We do get a babysitter every couple of months and go out for an early dinner or something. DD goes to bed at 8pm so DH and I get a little time every evening. I'm jealous of some of my friends that have their mom or other family close by.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Date? Jeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz...at least 8 years ago. When you're a single parent in your 40's, you don't have time to date! LOL!

 

[suzannen]

When my DH and I realized we were only going out on night dates about 3-4 times a year, we started planning romantic lunch dates every other month while DD is in school. I go into my office 30 minutes earlier for two days to make up the time, we pick a restaurant we've wanted to try, and we get all dressed up and have a blast.

We now feel like we have more "dates"!

 

[ahutton]

DH used to work down the street and we would have lunch (even if it was Taco Bell) a couple times a week. We've tried really hard to go on a real date at least once a month. Sometimes it works out that we go a couple times in one month and then not for a few. As for family - unfortunately the closest family is just over 1000 miles away. We've scouted babysitters from our day care. That way at least one of the kids knows them, and often they are single moms who love the extra money and can bring their own kids to play with ours. DD1 actually asks for specific ones to come and play, and when they arrive she shuttles DH and I out the door saying "You go get in the truck now, Ms. Paula is here with us. We have to play now."

 

[mum4jenn]

Bunchkin...I understand completely!! Our dd will be 6 in September and Dh and I have had two dates in that time.

 

[Kitty 34]

Let's see we dated in '84.........so about 19 yrs ago!!

 

[Dizzy-Disney4]

Well, we've been trying harder lately to get out together, but its ususally once every three months or so. Its hard since I don't trust many people with my kids. There is a young girl up the street that we may start asking. She's a freshman in highschool and is very responsible. It would be nice just to go have a nice quiet meal together.

 

[OhMari]

DS-21
DD-19
DS-15
DD-13
Never go out. Ask husband and pick him up for lunch, won't go.
When we do go out, he asks everyone along. Can anyone say Divorce Court. Our anniversary is coming up, 22 years, he did say he wants to go away somewhere, which means ( I better plan something and make the arrangements), damn should of booked the Fairy Tale Package. LOL

When we are alone at home, our kids feel bad that they are doing something and we are just sitting at home. After 20 years it is a blessing, but we have to start doing things as a couple again. We have been to family oriented for too many years.

 

[Bunchkin]

Well, I'm glad to see I'm not in this dateless boat alone!! LOL!!!

It is hard to find the time. And I too have trust issues with people sitting our children. And it doesn't help that DH works constantly.

And we also seem to do things with other families as a whole. It just seems to be easier that way. Because as single friends go, we have lost 99% of them.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

We try to go out about 2 times a month 1 time with another couple and then 1 time alone.We also spend time with each child alone . They are teenagers so it is always a dinner and a trip ( for us to buy things for them ) to the mall

 

[delswife]

We are allowed to go out???