How much would you lie for your kids?

[TAX GUY]

So I should go seek out an alternative to our local district because so many others have lied to get into it?

I hope that's not what you're saying.

You do what you feel is best for you, it doesn't impact me at all.

What does it matter what I say or don't say? My opinion is just that, mine. Its not the law or the written word for all to follow. I'm perfectly happy with MY family's situation and I don't care about anyone else's. What you (you in the general term) do is your business.

 

[LisaInNc]

To address a few things about my post. The terrible typo was a great example of WHY I should not be posting anything without reading glasses. I have them on now!

The school in question that these kids are going has terrible crowding problems to the point where some classes are held in trailers.

It's exactly the same curiculium as all the area schools it's just considered nicer because of who goes there. There is no voilence problems in any of our schools thankfully.

She could not move because she owns a house and right now in our area houses are not selling.

Lisa

 

[barkley]

So I should go seek out an alternative to our local district because so many others have lied to get into it?

I hope that's not what you're saying.

if you pay any school bonds in your taxes you might consider rallying the troops and doing what some folks in similar situations are doing in some states-when the bonds come up for renewal, or new/additional school bonds are proposed residents are banding together and fighting against the bonds until their districts start enforcing enrollment residency rules. in some places it's been fairly successful-and when the schools started pursing the issue they found that the resources saved by virtue of disenrolling illegally attending students greatly offset what they lost by virtue of bonds failing to be voted in.

 

[mommasita]

You are lucky there is space. What if a school was full and could only take 10 more students but 100 wanted to go there, what would the school do? How would the decision be made about the allocation of those places? It's a big problem where I live - so many kids want to go to the 3 best schools, but there are far too few places for them.

I honestly don't know..Possibly hire more teachers and add a few more classrooms? We have the room, our schools are huge.
I am not saying my son's choice was the "best" school, it was where his friends were going, and had more sports. To be honest, the closest HS was right up our street.. We went out of district for not much better at ALL.. I had to pay 50 a month for a public bus pass when he could have walked.. I found it a little silly, but I was not going to say no.. I knew he would be happier with his friends, and his sports as well. PLUS, it was where I went


My son is older now and my daughter is in private HS.. This year they added two more classrooms to each level as the demand was there, more teachers were hired.. The school is huge..

 

[mom2rtk]

if you pay any school bonds in your taxes you might consider rallying the troops and doing what some folks in similar situations are doing in some states-when the bonds come up for renewal, or new/additional school bonds are proposed residents are banding together and fighting against the bonds until their districts start enforcing enrollment residency rules. in some places it's been fairly successful-and when the schools started pursing the issue they found that the resources saved by virtue of disenrolling illegally attending students greatly offset what they lost by virtue of bonds failing to be voted in.

I love that idea!

 

[Mokat76]

Ah yes, the ever popular school of thought that those that make more money work harder or are somehow smarter than those dumb lazy poor people.

But all the sainted poor are all victims of cruel oppressors? C'mon.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

To address a few things about my post. The terrible typo was a great example of WHY I should not be posting anything without reading glasses. I have them on now!

The school in question that these kids are going has terrible crowding problems to the point where some classes are held in trailers.

It's exactly the same curiculium as all the area schools it's just considered nicer because of who goes there. There is no voilence problems in any of our schools thankfully.

She could not move because she owns a house and right now in our area houses are not selling.

Lisa

Portables have been around. Forever! My high school had them in 1989.

Public schools are not where you get small class sizes as the norm. They build these schools for a certain # of kids. Then building boom attracts more families and now the school that was perfect is now to small.

But lying and crossing into another district, does this person not realize that she will be contributing to future overcrowding?

It just isn't justified even of I were to consider that gray area. Sorry her house cannot sell...but that is her problem.

But it is nice to know that there is no sign of a hardship issue that is driving this. Her children can be educated in a trailer.

 

[Turn the Page]

School of choice is a tricky thing, though. It is subject to both an opt-in and district-established enrollment limits so generally speaking the best districts opt to accept few if any school choice enrollments. To use a couple Detroit-area examples... The nationally ranked Bloomfield Hills school district isn't a school of choice district at all, while the almost-as-good West Bloomfield district only accepts applications for kids in grades K-2 and holds a lottery to award the limited number of "choice" seats available.

In reality school choice is mostly average schools competing for students (and the associated dollars) from failing schools, not a way for middle-income families to access top-notch public schools.

This is true but it cuts both ways. You live in an urban area where space is an issue. I live about 4 hours north of Detroit where space is not so much of an issue. I know several families who send their kids to a school that is not in the district they live in. It means no bussing of course but many families make it work.

Also, the way it explained to me by DD8's school is that once the kids start in a particular district they are guaranteed a spot in that district even if we move out of district. We moved out of the district in January and have plans to move back in the district in the next few years and didn't want to have to yank DD8 out of school and move her to a new district only to move her back in a few years if I could help it. I have to drive her to school and pick her up but that isn't a problem since when we did live in district we were not on the bus route so I was doing that anyway.

The district we now live in pays the district she attends school DD's portion of state funds. The only concern I had was that DSD4 will start kindergarten next year. There is a policy here that siblings will be in the same building (our district has 4 elementary schools) but since they won't technically be siblings I was worried about whether DSD would be able to go to the same school as DD8 but we were told it wouldn't be a problem. And this district is the one most people choose to go to if they are going to a school in a district they don't live in.

However, again, we live in a rural area. This district routinely has graduating classes of 200-225 kids and is the largest in the area by far. Pretty much every town has a school system and some are so tiny I don't know how they manage to keep the doors open. My cousin went to a different school and her graduating class had a grand total of 6 students.

 

[aprilgail2]

Yes we took advantage of having a relative in a better area. The relative that paid school taxes and had no kids. Life isn't always black and white and sometimes you have to do what you never thought you would. .

Oh come on- just because someone lives in a district and pays taxes and doesn't have kids doesn't mean they can sign up kids who should be going to other schools into their district. That is just an excuse to make it seem lying is right.

Portables have been around. Forever! My high school had them in 1989.

But lying and crossing into another district, does this person not realize that she will be contributing to future overcrowding?

It just isn't justified even of I were to consider that gray area. Sorry her house cannot sell...but that is her problem.
.

I have never seen nor heard of these portables until here on the Dis.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

I have never seen nor heard of these portables until here on the Dis.

We had them in my high school in the *ahem* seventies.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I can see it's all the people who did everything right and sacrificed to buy the more expensive home in the right neighborhood who have a problem with the lying. I think that districts should be open. NJ is supposed to have equal spending. I have worked in many schools. They are not all equal and the division is generally about income and/or savi-ness of parents. I work in an urban school with some students from better neighborhoods with greater income. I am certain there are times when students from the better neighborhoods receive better treatment. I think if schools are not doing well you should be able to choose another.
That said, lying puts your kids in an awful position. Getting caught will lead to embarrassment. I understand why somebody would like though. We are becoming a country divided by wealth and opportunity.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I can see it's all the people who did everything right and sacrificed to buy the more expensive home in the right neighborhood who have a problem with the lying. I think that districts should be open. NJ is supposed to have equal spending. I have worked in many schools. They are not all equal and the division is generally about income and/or savi-ness of parents. I work in an urban school with some students from better neighborhoods with greater income. I am certain there are times when students from the better neighborhoods receive better treatment. I think if schools are not doing well you should be able to choose another.
That said, lying puts your kids in an awful position. Getting caught will lead to embarrassment. I understand why somebody would like though. We are becoming a country divided by wealth and opportunity.

The Op clarified that all else is equal. This is apparently an overcrowded school and mom doesn't like that her daughter has to go to class in a trailer.

Money to teach and money to build a new building come from different parts of the budget. Aside from dwelling, the child is not receiving an inferior education or otherwise suffering.

Now if people would all stop moving when they have wealth and opportunity, these schools wouldn't be so crowded and the mom in question wouldn't be forced to leave the trailer park school.

 

[ebtbmom]

There are very few scenarios that I view as staunchly black/white right/wrong. I think nearly all situations have extenuating circumstances and shades of gray. So yes, I'd do what I needed to do for my child. Especially if it was a safety issue.

Maybe it would be better if communities pooled their resources better to make the schools more equitable. Even though we all want our kids to have "the best", shouldn't we want that for all kids since they are going to be the generation coming after us. It's really in the best interest of society.

 

[lauradis]

Well...no one is saying this because they'd be accused of being elitist, but let me ask this- Why don't these parents want their kids to go to these "bad" schools they are districted for? It's usually not the teachers, the building, the administration, the curriculum, etc, it's the demographic of the student body. The parents lying to get their kids in the school they don't belong also seem to think they are above such "riff-raff" or they'd keep their kids in their community schools.

Thank you

 

[lauradis]

Ah yes, the ever popular school of thought that those that make more money work harder or are somehow smarter than those dumb lazy poor people.

Where did I say others where dumb lazy poor people.

You know whats really funny, I grow up in those "bad" schools. So yes I made a choice to never have my children live in poverty.

Please explain to me how it is wrong to be proud of what me and my husband have built over 22 years.

Why is it wrong to say "I have earned this proudly"

I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

 

[Ceila]

We've had open enrollment for about 15 years here. It's a giant pain because kids who live next to a good school may not be able to get into it if it is full.

Strange...the website for your town's school district states that students only need to participate in open enrollment if they do not want to attend their "school of residence." So, a student living next to a good school should have no problem attending that school.

 

[Poohforyou]

Good grief!

I'm very glad we have school choice here. Not that it matters.

We elected to send our son to a private school, in the next town over! We pay his tuition so its OK. Now, we still pay our real estate taxes of which goes towards the local public schools. So, if someone wants to lie and sneak their kid in to that school, they can have OUR allocation of the resources. There, now its even.

I'm with those that said they did or would, for the benefit of their children. I was taught and will also pass down that we will always want and do better for our children. If that means sacrifices and stretching the truth so they have the best opportunity, then so be it. If I also know another family was doing it, for the better of their kids, I'd say "not my monkeys, not my circus" (not really because I hate that saying but you get the point). If no one is being turned away, then why would you care? Is the school a first come, first served basis? Are local kids denied entrance? I doubt it. If its not having a direct impact on you, then why get your undies in a twist about it?

Because it puts undo burden on the tax payers. When the district has to buy more text books, hire more teachers,etc who do you think foots that bill? Plain and simple, lying and sending your child to a school they aren't entitled to attend is breaking the law. People can try to justify it all they want but that doesn't make it ok.

 

[mommasita]

Where did I say others where dumb lazy poor people.

You know whats really funny, I grow up in those "bad" schools. So yes I made a choice to never have my children live in poverty.

Please explain to me how it is wrong to be proud of what me and my husband have built over 22 years.

Why is it wrong to say "I have earned this proudly"

I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

I am glad everything was so cut and dry and perfect for you, I really am.. But you seem to put everyone in the same category, and it is quite rude.. I was always taught to be a little more proud and have a little more compassion because you just never know.. I grew up poorer than poor, but my attitude is far from yours.

I myself am far from poor, and far from rich.. At the age of 40 found myself clinging to life after emergency brain surgery.. I had to undergo another, and then another spine to just survive, and then I suffered a stroke during the last one.. I will NEVER work ago, due to permanent memory loss, and the fact that my condition will constantly return.. I am NOT alone, there ARE MANY like me.. I want nobody's compassion.. It is what it is.. But at the age of 40, in the middle of my career, I was not earning triple figure, I am fortunate to have been working in a good company with private insurance, which I will have until 65, until pension kicks in.. Sadly my husband got laid off this summer. It came as a shock.. We have a daughter in private school and one in college, so this can't stay the case for long.

We were working smart to better ourselves. Although, that doesn't even make sense to me... I don't expect you to even admit or acknowledge what you have written, but you should never try to judge anyone, you just never do know what battle people are facing my dear..

 

[Ceila]

Because it puts undo burden on the tax payers. When the district has to buy more text books, hire more teachers,etc who do you think foots that bill? Plain and simple, lying and sending your child to a school they aren't entitled to attend is breaking the law. People can try to justify it all they want but that doesn't make it ok.

This is what so many on this thread don't seem to understand. Adding more students to the schools adds to the cost. Who do they think pays for the additional teachers and materials? Don't they realize that the taxpayers of the better school district end up paying even more as students sneak in?

As for those who seem to think that if they don't have kids in the district, they can just give "their" spots to another family...really? You clearly don't understand how school budgets and taxes work.

 

[tvguy]

Strange...the website for your town's school district states that students only need to participate in open enrollment if they do not want to attend their "school of residence." So, a student living next to a good school should have no problem attending that school.

But there is difference between "school of residence" and the school they live next to. The IB and Fundamental High schools only admit students who go through a process, apply and take a test. So kids can life next to that high school and not get in.