How much to give for a high school graduation gift - popping by an open house

[kathy884]

Hello,
I am going to pop by a high school graduation open house this coming Sunday, make a short showing. The only people I really know are the graduate's grandmother and grandfather. The graduate's grandmother is who invited me. She lives walking distance to her daughter, son-in-law, and the graduate whose house it is at. She is a long time tennis friend of mine, someone I play tennis with once or twice a week and have been doing that for a few decades. She (great person) talks about her grandson a lot, so I feel like I know him even though I never met him. And I have met her daughter and his younger siblings a few times when I ran into them at the park, but I don't know them well..

We all live in the Midwest, suburb areas of St. Louis, MO.

I was going to give a generic card with a nice note and $40 in cash (two 20s). Does that sound appropriate? Or what would you suggest? I appreciate opinions. It has been ages since I've been to a high school open house.

 

[thanxfornoticin]

For the distant relationship you have with the graduate, I think a card and $40 is very appropriate and will be appreciated.

 

[klmcleod]

As a parent who just had our youngest as a high school graduate (and we are midwesterners too), give what you are comfortable giving, and what you listed, tracks with what we have had people give (with close and extended relationships). The high school kids end up getting a huge stack of cards with money and all of them have such varying amounts, so "appropriate amount" really gets kind of lost in the stack. I currently can't tell you who gave "too much" or "too little" at this point, and our graduation was about a month ago now.

 

[MICKIMINI]

Very appropriate!

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

That is more than generous for someone that you do not know the graduate or even their parents but the grandparents.

 

[_19disnA]

Reminds me a bit of the various threads about wedding gifts that always seems to result in an argument. I think some of the same logic applies here. If you don't even know the person would make a difference in the amount of your gift compared to a relative or someone you are close with. Seems a bit strange to be invited to a graduation party for a person you have never met and don't even know the parents. Why the grandparents invited you I have no idea. I wouldn't feel compelled to attend. For someone you don't even know, assuming you decide to attend, $25 seems like a sufficient amount for a gift.

 

[Judique]

Hello,
I am going to pop by a high school graduation open house this coming Sunday, make a short showing. The only people I really know are the graduate's grandmother and grandfather. The graduate's grandmother is who invited me. She lives walking distance to her daughter, son-in-law, and the graduate whose house it is at. She is a long time tennis friend of mine, someone I play tennis with once or twice a week and have been doing that for a few decades. She (great person) talks about her grandson a lot, so I feel like I know him even though I never met him. And I have met her daughter and his younger siblings a few times when I ran into them at the park, but I don't know them well..

We all live in the Midwest, suburb areas of St. Louis, MO.

I was going to give a generic card with a nice note and $40 in cash (two 20s). Does that sound appropriate? Or what would you suggest? I appreciate opinions. It has been ages since I've been to a high school open house.

I had 4 to do this year but it's not normal. My money gifts ranged from $50 to $100. None were related and that would have changed the equation. That's what I felt I could afford, and everybody has a different threshold for that. The $100's went to two grads going into the nursing field (I hope they make it!) as I respect the level of dedication nurses in my friend circle have possessed. I personally couldn't do it. I briefly attended one celebration.

I think $40 is just fine.

 

[kathy884]

Reminds me a bit of the various threads about wedding gifts that always seems to result in an argument. I think some of the same logic applies here. If you don't even know the person would make a difference in the amount of your gift compared to a relative or someone you are close with. Seems a bit strange to be invited to a graduation party for a person you have never met and don't even know the parents. Why the grandparents invited you I have no idea. I wouldn't feel compelled to attend. For someone you don't even know, assuming you decide to attend, $25 seems like a sufficient amount for a gift.

This is just my guess on the grandparents inviting us.

This young man has three siblings who are six, two, and one, and his grandparents are super proud of him and give him a lot of special attention as they feel he sort of gets forgotten at home with so many younger little kids who need a lot of attention in a hectic household. He has a summer job that he walks to, and last summer and this summer for example he has breakfast with his grandparents every day before work. I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if his grandparents are the major planners of the gathering, will be there the whole time, and given that decided to invite a few of their close friends.

 

[Djm_in_buffalo]

Given the complete lack of relationship that you have with the kid, $25 sounds fine, with the $15 ‘extra’ to account for the long ties to grandmother sounding fully appropriate.

My wife and I got married in 2014. Friends of her parents, a couple in their then-60s, were invited upon request of my now in-laws. Everybody was local, so no long travel required. Their wedding gift to us was $5 less than what you’re proposing to give to this kid. Didn’t even cover the bar package for one of them, and certainly not the food.

I get that everybody has different talents and different levels of resources, but lack of funds is not one of this couple’s concerns. At the time, he was doing well, and she was a partner at one of the large, white shoe law firms in the area, and they’re often traveling internationally on vacation.

I didn’t provide that story to vent, but to provide context. Adjusted for inflation, their gift then is roughly what you’re thinking to give now. I think $40 for a teen stranger is an incredibly ‘safe’ amount, and will place you far, far away from the talk of ‘oh, that’s what she gave you..!?’ chatter.