How much do you tell your boss?

[disneychrista]

I am in general an open & honest person, it is easier than hiding/lying about things. This, however, is just a little too personal. Sorry I am not discussing my sex life or the results of it with my boss. My friend doesn't seem to think it is a big deal, everyone has sex he said.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

If I am calling in sick I will generally let them know what is going on (N&V, fever, etc) but if I’m requesting a day off for an appointment it is generic doctors or dentist appointment. They don’t need to know details.

 

[gotomu212]

I am in general an open & honest person, it is easier than hiding/lying about things. This, however, is just a little too personal. Sorry I am not discussing my sex life or the results of it with my boss. My friend doesn't seem to think it is a big deal, everyone has sex he said.

Uh there are a lot of things that "everyone does" that are still inappropriate to talk about with bosses and colleagues. Being private isn't the same thing as being dishonest.

 

[ronandannette]

I am in general an open & honest person, it is easier than hiding/lying about things. This, however, is just a little too personal. Sorry I am not discussing my sex life or the results of it with my boss. My friend doesn't seem to think it is a big deal, everyone has sex he said.

Sorry if I missed it upthread, but is your boss pressing you for further details? If so, just go with "gynecological issues" - that'll back off even the nosiest guy usually. If not, then why are you even worrying about it?

 

[disneychrista]

Sorry if I missed it upthread, but is your boss pressing you for further details?

No it is my friend who thinks I should have told the boss why I needed the time off, instead of letting him believe it was for other known medical issues.

Uh there are a lot of things that "everyone does" that are still inappropriate to talk about with bosses and colleagues. Being private isn't the same thing as being dishonest.

That is my thought too.

 

[momz]

Never reveal your health issues at work. It can be used against you, even in suttle ways.

I have a disability. There are a few people at work who know. I feel like if I show any sign of weakness, they will pounce (well, one of them will) and question my ability to perform the requirements of my job. Now, my disability does not interfere, but sometimes I need to use a cane. And some people consider that as making me less whole or something. I swear I can feel the eyes of this woman watching me and waiting for me to trip or fall. Grrrrr....that woman!

Some people fake illness to miss work. I fake wellness for the right to work.

 

[ronandannette]

No it is my friend who thinks I should have told the boss why I needed the time off, instead of letting him believe it was for other known medical issues.

That is my thought too.

Then tell your friend to "shut it" and carry on with your day. Don't give this another thought.

 

[disneychrista]

Then tell your friend to "shut it" and carry on with your day. Don't give this another thought.

I'm not worried about and I think I was right to not tell my boss, as it isn't any of his business. I was just curious if others would have said / done.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

In general nobody cares about the reason someone is requesting a day or a few hours off.

About five years ago, though, one employee said she needed to leave a few hours early for a doctor's appointment. Fine. The next day she shows up with a tattoo on her wrist. I suppose there could be Doctors of Inkology.

 

[adelaster]

Saying you have a medical appointment is all they need to know if you are using a leave associated only with that type of absence. If it is just a PTO/one source type system you owe even less information- I will be out and provide the times. I don't get too personal with supervisors on such issues for legal safety.

That said, nothing is more annoying than a boss that is skeptical about your health/use of leave time. I tend to try to gross them out if they are mean about it. Some of them won't let you get close when ill but then get miffed if you want to leave. SO IRKSOME. Or if you call off and then come in ill the next day say things like, "Oh, so you really were sick." People. Ugh.

I'm an honest person, but I also have a healthy fear/respect for legal matters and employment code. Communicating when you will be gone in advance and ensuring the time-sheet/approval aspect is in order is all that is necessary unless it proceeds to a need for FMLA, etc. Your friend is correct in that you have nothing to be ashamed of, nor should you feel you have to hide a common care need- but there is absolutely no driving need for your employer to know the details.

 

[sam_gordon]

Look at how many people share medical issues with total strangers on the Dis. Is it any surprise some feel it's needed to overshare IRL?

If you have time available to take, then you can request it, no explanation needed. BUT, just because you request it, doesn't mean the employer must grant it.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

If anything it's worth explaining why you can't get a Dr's appointment for a time when you aren't working (usual answer: "The Doctor keeps the same working hours I do").
You are under no obligation to say why you have a Dr's appointment

 

[cluvsdisney]

My boss is basically on a need to know basis which boils down to needing to know if I'll be in or not. I might give him a tidbit to make the request feel less sterile such as saying I have an appointment but I wouldn't even go so far as to say doctor appt. He never asks for details.

 

[SC Minnie]

I say I have an appt. Period. They don't need to know what kind or why. For my direct reports all I need to know is they aren't going to be there. I don't need to know why. I've had one that will go into way too much detail and keep going and going. I never knew what was the truth and what was being made up to make me believe the story. If she had just said 'I have an appt in the morning so will be in around 10' that's all I needed.

 

[ronandannette]

I say I have an appt. Period. They don't need to know what kind or why. For my direct reports all I need to know is they aren't going to be there. I don't need to know why. I've had one that will go into way too much detail and keep going and going. I never knew what was the truth and what was being made up to make me believe the story. If she had just said 'I have an appt in the morning so will be in around 10' that's all I needed.

Lord yes - this is something I dread. One of my staff routinely comes out with what I feel are extremely inappropriate details; the kind of stuff you wish you could "unknow". I've actually had to ask her to "check herself" because it's a challenge to my ability to view her objectively. Right or wrong, I'm only human and there are some issues that influence my view of an induvidual.

 

[disneychrista]

Look at how many people share medical issues with total strangers on the Dis. Is it any surprise some feel it's needed to overshare IRL?

True, but sharing with friends IRL and your boss isn't the same thing. And in a lot of cases strangers are easier and often times more honest/truthful in their answers than your friends.

saying I have an appointment but I wouldn't even go so far as to say doctor appt.

I didn't intend to let the boss know it was a doctor appointment, but let it slip while discussing that a projected wouldn't get done that because I had to leave for my "doctor appointment."

 

[lucas]

As little as possible. (And, through the years, I've learned that the hard way.)

 

[Hikergirl]

I think it really depends. I once worked for a very good friend of mine so there was no point in not giving her the details, she would know anyway.
My dh is friends with his boss and shares some things but not others.
There is no right or wrong answer about what you want to share.

 

[DopeyDame]

I've worked at the same place for 16 years and very much like and respect my boss and colleagues. But still, I pretty much leave it at "I'll be out for a doctors apt"
I actually have a lady-parts surgery coming up in a few weeks.
The conversation with my (male) boss was basically "I'll be out these two days for a minor operation" "OK, hope everything is OK. Let us know if you need anything."

We do have a colleague who was recently diagnosed with MS. He shared his diagnosis because he'll be missing a lot of time and it won't always be predictable. And it also allows us to support him as best we can.
So if there's a *reason* that makes sharing the specific issue helpful for your work place to be more understanding, then go ahead and share. But other than that no reason to overshare details.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm not sure why you would even think you had to tell your boss any details. Tell him you're have a procedure and move on.