How much do you help with Elementary School Homework?

[lovetoscrap]

Trying to get an idea of what is "normal" for grades 3-5. For a child that is doing okay in school, with no learning/developmental issues:

How much do you help them if they ask for help with homework?

If they don't understand a new concept (like something new in math) how much effort do you put in at home to help them to learn it?

How much do you help/time do you spend studying for tests?

 

[Trish Bessette]

MY DD's are older - 11th grade & 8th grade and I have to say, I never help them. I leave it up to them to do their work independently on their own. I know parents who have spent hours helping their child. Both DD's have always been on the honor roll so they are doing something right

 

[ols386]

I would have to say that you don't help them unless they have a problem, and if need be, you get the teacher involved, if the problem isn't solvable.

I helped my son too much grades 1-5, and looking back on it, I think that hindered him. After I stopped helping him, he became much more independent and did very well in school, and graduated from college.

 

[mrsv98]

DD is in 5th grade and generally only needs help with math. We try to show her how to get the answer rather than what the answer is and after an example or two, she needs to at least try it on her own. We have helped her outside of homework to try and improve basic skills, ie. flash cards, everyday examples, etc.

DH has two degrees in mathematics and I used to teach so between us she is covered (or can't get away with much, depending on your perspective! )

 

[2disneyboys]

Aside from Grades K & 1st, the only help I ever give my boys on thier homework (they rarely have homework) is to act as a bouncing board for ideals in reports or projects. They both work independently and are both on the honor roll (2nd Grade and 5th Grade). They do read to me each night, but thats more, them reading outloud while I work on something quietly in the same room. Right now we are reading Tom Sawyer. my 10 year old has to read a chapter and then my 8 year old reads a chapter.

I don't know if this is because of the school they are in (private)?? My nieces/nephews in public school seem to have a lot of homework and my brother and SIL's always complain about the amount of time it takes in the eve...

 

[punkin]

It depends on the child. My older one needed a lot of hand holding while the younger one prefers to do everything on her own.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

My son is in the 4th grade and I help him by quizzing him on his spelling words and going over his story for the test. Most of the time he does not need help in anything else. Every once in a while he will need help in Math.

Now my DD how is in 7th grade is another story. She will not study for a test unless I help her. So, I help with that, but I never do any work for her.

My DD who is a senior never asks for help, but when she does I normally help her too.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Trying to get an idea of what is "normal" for grades 3-5. For a child that is doing okay in school, with no learning/developmental issues:

How much do you help them if they ask for help with homework?

If they don't understand a new concept (like something new in math) how much effort do you put in at home to help them to learn it?

How much do you help/time do you spend studying for tests?

I've always helped my boys with their homework. Math is not the strongest subject for either of them. The teachers tend to move rather quickly in the classroom and there's not always time for them to get individual attention. They usually get the concepts with no problem if my DH or I go through it with them more slowly. I don't put a time limit on how much I will help them. If they truly need the help and aren't just trying to get out of it or get a quick answer, I will spend the time with them that they need.

In late elementary/early middle school, many kids have not yet developed the "executive functioning" skills they need to stay organized and keep track of everything (especially preteen boys). With my 6th grader, I will often ask him what he has to do that night and have him get started earlier if it seems like a lot. We get a daily email from the school that shows their current grades and lists due dates for homework and longer-term projects. I will ask him about assignments that he's working on and make sure he's on track. I certainly don't do the work for him, but I definitely help him do it and stay on top of due dates.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Below 3rd grade I sat with them at the kitchen table every single afternoon and patiently watched them and then checked their work. Some teachers said they wanted the errors, what on earth is that about? I did not send them in with errors, we sat quietly and figured out what it was they didn't get. DS had some early trouble with multi-layer questions and DD had a hard time figuring out the core of some word problems but we got through that. I never understood the teachers position on this. THEY have 30 kids, I only had 2 so of course I would do a better job at weeding out the issues

By 3rd grade they were on a good autopilot plan. A and up I left them alone but anything lower and I was looking into why, not in a brute sort of way, more in a "lets see whats up" sort of way... which they didn't like much so they pushed against it. I didn't really help with homework other than to quiz them on vocabulary words. I did help with projects but my kids started to prefer independence so I gave it to them.

Basically, they only ever asked for help if they seriously needed it and would now rather do anything than have me tutor them because with me they get an ENTIRE lesson. Even now if they get a B they want no part of me tutoring and bring their grades back up on their own. DD6th has a 4.02 and DS7th a 3.84 (due to some homework issues in Spanish the 1st quarter, he now understands it is not optional).

I think careful guidance when they are young molds them into good students later on when there is an attitude barrier.

 

[DeniseinNS]

My son is in primary (same as kindergarten) and we sit with him while he does his and explain to him what needs to be done.
My daughter is in grade 3 and this year her teachers decided not to send homework home at all, which I don't agree with at all. Her homework is to read something of her choice for 20 minutes per day.

 

[msjprincess]

Below 3rd grade I sat with them at the kitchen table every single afternoon and patiently watched them and then checked their work. Some teachers said they wanted the errors, what on earth is that about? I did not send them in with errors, we sat quietly and figured out what it was they didn't get. DS had some early trouble with multi-layer questions and DD had a hard time figuring out the core of some word problems but we got through that. I never understood the teachers position on this. THEY have 30 kids, I only had 2 so of course I would do a better job at weeding out the issues

By 3rd grade they were on a good autopilot plan. A and up I left them alone but anything lower and I was looking into why, not in a brute sort of way, more in a "lets see whats up" sort of way... which they didn't like much so they pushed against it. I didn't really help with homework other than to quiz them on vocabulary words. I did help with projects but my kids started to prefer independence so I gave it to them.

Basically, they only ever asked for help if they seriously needed it and would now rather do anything than have me tutor them because with me they get an ENTIRE lesson. Even now if they get a B they want no part of me tutoring and bring their grades back up on their own. DD6th has a 4.02 and DS7th a 3.84 (due to some homework issues in Spanish the 1st quarter, he now understands it is not optional).

I think careful guidance when they are young molds them into good students later on

So that they can see where the child needs help. If they keep coming in with perfect homework the teacher may not even realize that the child is struggling.

 

[pacrosby]

My son is in primary (same as kindergarten) and we sit with him while he does his and explain to him what needs to be done.
My daughter is in grade 3 and this year her teachers decided not to send homework home at all, which I don't agree with at all. Her homework is to read something of her choice for 20 minutes per day.

Finland is rated #1 in the world as far as education and I believe that I read that they don't even have homework until 5th grade. Off-topic I know....but interesting just the same.

 

[mickeyboat]

DDs are in 5th grade and I usually help with their "challenge" math questions. I also glance over their homework from time to time to make sure they aren't missing something major.

I like seeing what they are doing on a regular basis - especially in math - because they are being taught math a lot differently than I was taught math, and I want to keep up on it so I can help them if they need it. I also think the new tricks help me with the math I run into on a daily basis.

They are working on spelling rules too, so I like to take a look at them because they help me with tricky words.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

If my kids don't understand a concept, I will help them understand it.

It happens more in high school than elementary school with my kids, though.

I also quiz my son on spelling before his tests.

 

[Mixie]

DD is a 5th grader - I mostly help out with math. English is her strong subject but not math. I'll check her math homework, mark any she got wrong and she redoes them. Only if she gets it wrong twice do I really 'work' with her. If it's clear she doesn't understand how to do something, or if she comes to me and says she's lost, I'll help (math was my subject in school).

Hubby helps her with French. He used to be fluent in the language. I don't know my crepe from crap.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If my kids needed help, I helped them no matter what age.

But I mean "help", I do not mean I checked over their work everyday, UNLESS they were flunking or having problems with the class.

My older dd helped her sister in math until she went off to college.

With my 8th grader she knows we can't help her in math and pretty much the only thing I do know is proof read essays for mistakes, grammer, etc. I am NOT allowed to comment on content unless asked (As per my dd, not the school. She has her OWN writing style.)

 

[lovetoscrap]

It depends on the child. My older one needed a lot of hand holding while the younger one prefers to do everything on her own.

Can you elaborate on what hand holding is? Sitting there and making sure the work is done and checking it over or going over/teaching the concepts?

 

[msjprincess]

If my kids don't understand a concept I'll explain it to them. I won't give them any answers but I will explain how to do something until it "clicks".

 

[punkin]

Can you elaborate on what hand holding is? Sitting there and making sure the work is done and checking it over or going over/teaching the concepts?

Both, really.

 

[shirleyb]

For my oldest and youngest, I probably never spent more than an hour a year on their homework - they just didn't need help. (Other than when they were learning to read, listening to them read out loud.)

My middle son I used to help study for spelling tests - probably an hour a week, because he really struggled with spelling.

That was it.