I think private messages are set up in part so people can take the "he said", "she said", "no you", "no you" petty squables off the boards so other people don't have to get involved in it, and I like that. Take it to PM's, let others DIS in peace.
I don't think there's a person on this board who has ever professed to be all "goodness, light, pink, fluffy" and all the other words that get thrown at CB members. We aren't pretending to be people we aren't. We are all human, we have the same emotions as others, some of us just don't feel the need to share those emotions and thoughts with others publicly or maybe we just want to share some of those feelings or thoughts with people in private that we have become friends with, or maybe we don't want to share those feelings at all with anyone. It's called humaness. No one is hiding behind PM's. People are just not dragging the rest of the board into their emotions, thoughts or games. Some people are expressing themselves the way they want in PM's because it's against board guidelines to do it on the boards. Some people actually care about the guidelines, they aren't doing it to pretend they're someone they aren't.
I think that some people just don't get that others can truly be happy with themselves, others, life, the CB and yet have the same emotions as others, like anger, and not have to express it at all, privately or publicly. It seems, somehow, to be contradictory to them. Why or how, I have no idea. All human beings have a range of emotions. Although I know that some people don't see CB members as human, but rather stepford type people, it isn't true.
I'm absolutely sure people have said things in private messages about me (someone shared a couple, not one, but a couple LOL!
, with me ). I don't care, honest to God I don't.
At first I was
then
, but then I just shrugged it off. I still talk with that person on the CB too. I even offer them hugs and pixie dust when needed because I don't hold a grudge.
When I was a little girl and those sorts of things bothered me, my mother used to tell me, "if they're talking about you, they're leaving someone else alone so don't let it bother you, you be happy someone else is being left alone". And that's the philosophy I carry with me to this day.
"Stabbing someone" in public does not make it a good thing. It's not noble, it's just hurtful, plain and simple. "Stabbing someone" in private doesn't make it noble either. Saying that people on the CB pretend to be one thing and do another is not true, we are all human.
I think there are people on the CB who are very fortunate, they haven't been around long enough to get caught up the "stuff" or they just don't care to. Unfortunately for me I've been around long enough and I've seen things and I've been caught up in things that I would rather not have. Oh well, I'm human. I forgive myself and try to do better next time. I never try to intentionally hurt anyone, even if that mean holding my fingers back from posting something that I desperately want to say, but I know will be hurtful. Is that pretending to be someone I'm not? Nope. It's absolutely being true to myself and being someone I am.
There are places that are more public than others. 
