How many nights a week is your elementary aged child out of the house for activities?

[puffkin]

DS8 is a competitive swimmer. Right now he is in the top tier in our region....but to stay there requires year round practice. He knows that. In season (winter/summer) he practices daily for at least an hour plus meets and invitationals most weekends. During the offseason (spring/fall) he chooses to do clinic at least 3 days a week. We leave off season up to him but because he wants to compete at the elite level he knows he has to go to practice.

He also plays baseball spring and fall which dovetails fairly well with swimming. He usually has 2 practices a week with that and 1-2 games a week. Due to a funky birthday, he is always the youngest kid in his league so this is the first year he could do more travelling/tournaments. We said no be because of the time commitment, and our upcoming vacation for 10 days next week (heart of tournament season) plus it conflicting with summer swim. We also felt that he needed a year to get used to that level of play. Next year he will have to make a decision though. He won't be able to compete at the elite level in both baseball and swimming so he will need to choose one and still participate in the other, just not the elite level. That is going to be a very difficult choice for him but unfortunately he has to decide.

We try to encourage things outside of sports, but it is next to impossible. He has mentioned trying an instrument and boy scouts, but I just don't see how we will have time to make the commitment. I can say though that he has excellent time management skills and the outlet for his boundless energy is a godsend. We have about 3 weeks at the end of the summer where he takes a break from everything and I seriously don't know what to do with him.

 

[mjkacmom]

My daughter is seven. We currently do dance once a week (it takes two hours out of our night) and she will begin training with an Irish dance troupe this summer, they train year round so I expect her to be taking her "regular" dance classes one night and her Irish dance classes another night.

As the mom of two competitive Irish dancers, don't go down this road, unless you want to give up all of your free time, and money!

 

[puffkin]

As the mom of two competitive Irish dancers, don't go down this road, unless you want to give up all of your free time, and money!

LOL, I know two different families (one in Canada, one local) who have daughters involved in IRish Dance. Huge time and money commitment They easily spend 10x what we spend for swimming, and trust me, we spend a small fortune. I couldn't even imagine!

 

[laughinplace199]

DS7 is in first grade. Currently, he plays soccer and baseball. Soccer has practices on Fridays and games on weekends. Baseball typically has one practice on Tues or Wed and a game on Thursday as well as another game over the weekend.

Up until mid-May, he was also doing an hour of sports after school on Mondays and Wednesdays.

It's easy now because he's young and doesn't have much homework. It gets tougher as they get older.

DS12 did cross country in the fall and track in the spring. They practice every day after school and the meets were after school as well. He does karate on Saturdays.

DD14 did crew in the fall and spring, which is a huge time commitment. They practice every day from 3:00-6:00. By the time they get back to school from the boathouse and get home, it's close to 7:00. Then there's dinner and she's starting homework at 7:30/8:00. I can't tell you how many nights she was doing homework until midnight or later.

 

[DisneyRegulars]

Several of my sons friends can never come over and hang out, play video games, because they always have something going on. I think it's important for them to have some "downtime" as well. .

My son is 4 and has swimming lessons once a week. He really really wants to do bmx bike racing, so we will add that in for one additional night, but that is definitely my limit, especially for his young age.

In general this thread is making me very sad because I'm wondering when these kids have time to play and just be a kid. I'm also worried for my son when he's older that there won't be any kids around to play with because they will all be trapped in organized activities. I think there needs to be a balance, with lots of time for creative free play fun. But I also know that if the bmx track was closer to our house and open everyday that's what my son would want to do all the time, so I get that often times it may be kids driving the activity decisions because it's what they live to do. The activity decision is a rough one for me, I get your indecision OP, it's tough.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

My younger kids are elementary age. They are allowed (but not required to have) one extracurricular activity, and no one is in anything particularly time consuming at this point. So, maybe 1-2 practices/meetings a week.
Mostly, they spend many, many hours playing outside riding bicycles and skateboards and building playhouses and such. I consider this the most important activity for my elementary age kids, next to schoolwork.

 

[deuceswild10]

My daughter is seven. We currently do dance once a week (it takes two hours out of our night) and she will begin training with an Irish dance troupe this summer, they train year round so I expect her to be taking her "regular" dance classes one night and her Irish dance classes another night.

Two nights is about all I can handle, and I what I think is appropriate for a 7/8yr old. She also attends a private school that has an advanced curriculum, so we have to spend most of our evenings on studying/homework.

When does your daughter get to play?

 

[deuceswild10]

Wow, I have to say this thread makes me sad. So many studies and experts keep saying that young children need unstructured time to play. Why so many activities??

 

[Alexle2007]

DS7 was doing rec tennis 2x a week, rec soccer 2x a week and violin 2x a week and was complaining he had no play time since every day except Fri and Sun had an activity in addition to homework.

We thought for a minute about having him try out for travel soccer for the fall but since we expect that he will be accepted into gifted math in next school year (G & T doesn't start until 3rd grade where we live) we couldn't commit to 2 hour 2x a week practices plus games and tournaments on the weekend. We feel academics should be the focus. So he'll just continue with rec soccer and violin.

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow, I have to say this thread makes me sad. So many studies and experts keep saying that young children need unstructured time to play. Why so many activities??

I know my kids are very passionate about all of their activities. They've tried pretty much all of them out there (not all at once), and settled on what they really love. There is also a huge amount of socializing that goes on with structured activites - carpools, swimming after a game, weekends at hotels... The bond my girls have with their dance friends is amazing (6 of them carpool every day, and go to school with each other). So sad a few in their classes are graduating high school and going off to college. They are like big sisters.

I find that most of the time, kids I know that are not in many activities have way too much screen time. They are not out playing tag and riding bikes. My kids have time to play almost every day, and definitely a lot on weekends (I live in an area where everything is close by).

I also find that kids who do have structured activities stay out of trouble, and get great grades. They tend to be successful.

 

[brockash]

DD8 who will be going into 3rd grade this fall just got accepted into a local children's choir, she was one of 14 students accepted for her grade level out of a large number of children who auditioned. The choir meets weekly for an hour (5 min from our house) performs 2x a year and has 3 additional Saturday practices over the course of the year.

She is already involved in girl scouts which meets twice a month, 4-H which meets once a month and takes gymnastics classes that meet weekly as well. Gymnastics runs 8 week sessions and we usually start up in November and take classes until May.

I'm trying to decide if adding choir to the mix is too much or if we can manage it. I'm going to strongly encourage her to drop 4-H after December when she ages out of her current club and has to join a new one. She loves gymnastics, but isn't particularly good at it, she will be starting her 3rd year in the beginner level classes this fall. However she is unwilling to try any other sport so I don't want to make her drop it. Sports will never be her thing, so I like the idea of opening her up to other activities, however finding the right balance is hard. She doesn't get home from school until 4:15 and most of the activities start at 5:30-6 pm so finding the time for homework and down time after school can be difficult.

How many activities is your elementary aged child involved in and how many nights of the week are you out of the house running children to activities?

During the school year, it really depends on the time of yr/season. Sometimes it's every week night and occasionally (maybe 2-4 weeks a year) it's 0. I'd say on average it's 3. It's been this way for him since 2nd grade, before that it was usually only 2-3 and that was only part of the yr.

I will say that he really enjoys sports (his activities) and it's the highlight of his day/week. At times I think it gets to be a bit much, but he really does enjoy it and he is someone who does better when he keeps busy, so as long as his school work doesn't suffer and it seems to be working out I'm okay with it.

ETA: Homework often gets done in the car on the way to/from his activity for the day. We used to do spelling in the car (he'd put his spelling notebook and a pencil in the car in the morning). He also has often done any homework that he can do on his own in the car. If there's anything he doesn't understand he'll put it to the side (I'll try to look at it at practice) and then we'll go over it later.

 

[brockash]

I know my kids are very passionate about all of their activities. They've tried pretty much all of them out there (not all at once), and settled on what they really love. There is also a huge amount of socializing that goes on with structured activites - carpools, swimming after a game, weekends at hotels... The bond my girls have with their dance friends is amazing (6 of them carpool every day, and go to school with each other). So sad a few in their classes are graduating high school and going off to college. They are like big sisters.

I find that most of the time, kids I know that are not in many activities have way too much screen time. They are not out playing tag and riding bikes. My kids have time to play almost every day, and definitely a lot on weekends (I live in an area where everything is close by).

I also find that kids who do have structured activities stay out of trouble, and get great grades. They tend to be successful.

This is basically my belief as well. I just don't really buy the argument that kids shouldn't be in structured activities because they should be doing things that they come up with, unstructured etc. Even if my ds, especially, wasn't in the "structured activity" he'd still want to play the sport and he much prefers for it to be as a structured activity with team oriented goals etc. I also see first-hand all of the advantages and positive influence that these structured activities has had on my kids, especially my oldest so far. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but if it's something they enjoy and seems to benefit them, then I don't see the issue.

I personally was never a kid who dis much structured activity at all and as an adult I really wish I would have.

 

[puffkin]

I agree 100% with PP. There are sooooooo many life lessons he learns to from sports like time management, work ethic, goal setting, bonding with different teams and groups. Plus he wants to do it! I have honestly only come across a few parents that are the ones doing the pushing. The kids have the passion. I know my son plays at least 2 hours a day at his before and after care. They go outside, play games, arts and crafts, etc. I think he gets way more healthy "play" time than a lot of the kids in my neighborhood who have pretty much only screen play time. I was super involved all through school (not just sports but other things as well) and don't really regret not having more unstructured free time. I think my activities really shaped me and prepared me to be successful in so many areas of my life.

 

[Crl1817]

This NPR piece on the importance of unstructured time for developing exectuve function might be of interest: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=76838288

 

[EMode]

When does your daughter get to play?

The other 5 days

Now that my youngest is doing soccer he has practice 1 night a week.
When he did baseball it was 3 nights a week. He wants to do travel soccer and I know they have many more practices than the rec league does.

My 13 year old does martial arts 2-3 times per week and an after school computer programming club once a week.
When school starts next fall he will be doing track so I figure he'll be doing something every day.

My 16 year old does a few school clubs, one that requires her to go to school functions and take photos or video. Next year she will be doing Broadcasting so more of the same. Her schedule varies.

 

[PennockFive]

I don't think there is anything wrong with having structured activities, sports, etc.. But in some cases it is overkill. What about time together as a family??? With children each in a different activity and getting pulled in different directions, where is the time to eat together as a family, rather than gobbling up a quick sandwich in the car, or having fast food 2-3 nights a week. Homework should be done in a quiet location where a child can focus, not while sitting at the sidelines of a soccer or baseball field. I'm sure some students can handle a different pace then others, but downtime is not necessarily a bad thing. It also doesn't equate to screen time. My oldest son spends some of his best downtime playing with his younger siblings, reading, playing with Legos, shooting hoops in the driveway. I'm sure there are other activities he would sign up for, he's a "joiner", he's very active and enjoys doing things with his peers. But I believe part of my job is to make sure he has a childhood where there isn't a rule book, pressure to succeed and win all the time and just a chance to act like a goofy 10 year old boy who loves life and his family.

 

[katyjeka]

Although I would never tell anyone how to raise their children I do believe kids are way over scheduled. We limit our girls to one activity at a time. We do this for the sanity of our family. We value our time together and will go fishing, bike riding, and on picnics in the evenings when my dh gets home from work. We tried the five night a week activities and realized that spending hours on a field every evening just didn't work for us. We have grown so much closer and feel so much more relaxed away from the "kiddy rat race". I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but everyone must do what works for them. Funny thing, I grew up riding bikes and playing with groups of kids in the neighborhood. Made for some great memories and lasting friendships. Childhood seemed so fun and easy, my how times have changed.

 

[skw444]

I know my kids are very passionate about all of their activities. They've tried pretty much all of them out there (not all at once), and settled on what they really love. There is also a huge amount of socializing that goes on with structured activites - carpools, swimming after a game, weekends at hotels... The bond my girls have with their dance friends is amazing (6 of them carpool every day, and go to school with each other). So sad a few in their classes are graduating high school and going off to college. They are like big sisters.

I find that most of the time, kids I know that are not in many activities have way too much screen time. They are not out playing tag and riding bikes. My kids have time to play almost every day, and definitely a lot on weekends (I live in an area where everything is close by).

I also find that kids who do have structured activities stay out of trouble, and get great grades. They tend to be successful.

Well said.

 

[Derby]

My kindergartner takes one 30 minute swim lesson a week and that's the extent of her organized activities. She wants to switch to dance, so we'll stop the swim lessons in August and start dance (1 class/week) in September. We are very "low commitment" as I like to say.

 

[Aliceacc]

My daughter had one night for gymnastics, one afternoon for kickline, and Religion one afternoon.

Each of those was a single hour session. And two of the three were within walking distance. (Gymnastics is probably 2 or 3 miles away.)

More than that, times 3 kids, means we don't have family dinners. An occasional miss is OK, but it's important to me that, as often as we can manage it, we're together for dinner. As my older kids broaden their social lives and committments, they're starting to miss more. But my younger daughter is still home for dinner pretty consistently. And homework is done at the dining room table for her, up in their rooms for my older 2.