How many former Catholics here?

[Disney Doll]

Another recovering Catholic here I was raised Catholic in the Archdiocese of Boston. 'nuf said.

You know every time you post this, I find it more and more offensive. And then I get the flip "well then don't read it" answer.

 

[chrissyk]

You know every time you post this, I find it more and more offensive. And then I get the flip "well then don't read it" answer.

It honestly offends me that people can openly talk about how wonderful the church is, but other people can't openly express how glad they were to make a clean break from it. Recovering Catholics or former Catholics or whatever you choose to call them are entitled to find community with other Recovering Catholics if they choose to do so. There certainly are enough of us out there. That's what threads like this are about...people who have LEFT the church, not people who have joined it as adults or who never left it in the first place.

Not everyone had a great experience with this religion growing up, and those who didn't aren't obligated to sit there and act like everything was wonderful because it offends people who are still Catholic or who converted as adults.

 

[princess momma]

I was raised Catholic, forced to attend Mass in fact. When I went away to college I never thought I would go to church again, but when my dad was dying during my sophomore year I started going again, not exactly regularly, but occasionally. I felt I needed something, I'm not sure what. It just comforted me to be there.

I still consider myself Catholic even though I wasn't married in a Catholic Church, and my children weren't baptized in the Catholic Church. There is just so much I disagree with. But I still like to attend Mass every now and then. It just feels weird to go to a different religion. Maybe someday I'll figure out what I really am. I just keep trying to be a good person, and hoping it will come back to me.

 

[helenabear]

You know every time you post this, I find it more and more offensive. And then I get the flip "well then don't read it" answer.

I think I might understand this...

it's not "former Catholic" that bothers me. Saying "recovering Catholic" is like you are cured from some sort of disease.

I have no issue with people not liking my Church. Heck, there have been a lot more nasty said to me about it than good (from non-Catholics). I just wish that term "recovering" wouldn't be used as I think it is a big negative. Like saying someone is a recovering alcoholic... not that being away from alcohol is bad, but getting away from a terrible disease is.

Yes, you can leave a church or a denomination entirely, but I really wish it was stated as that.

Recovering and Former do NOT mean the same to me at all. One has a much more neutral position and the other more negative.

Does that make sense?

 

[C.Ann]

Not everyone had a great experience with this religion growing up.

-------------------

Have to agree with you there.. I consider myself a former/recovering Catholic because I was severely traumatized by the nuns and it took many, many years to "recover" from that.. Even now - 50 years later - I'll still have the occasional nightmare and it's like it was yesterday.. "Recovering" is precisely what it has all been about.. My intent is not to offend anyone - it is simply the appropriate word to describe my experience with that particular religion and the impact that it had on my life..

 

[chrissyk]

I think I might understand this...

it's not "former Catholic" that bothers me. Saying "recovering Catholic" is like you are cured from some sort of disease.

I have no issue with people not liking my Church. Heck, there have been a lot more nasty said to me about it than good (from non-Catholics). I just wish that term "recovering" wouldn't be used as I think it is a big negative. Like saying someone is a recovering alcoholic... not that being away from alcohol is bad, but getting away from a terrible disease is.

Yes, you can leave a church or a denomination entirely, but I really wish it was stated as that.

Recovering and Former do NOT mean the same to me at all. One has a much more neutral position and the other more negative.

Does that make sense?

It does make sense, but as I've explained before, some of us ARE recovering from the experience of being raised in this church and some will probably be recovering for a lifetime. Maybe it's safe to say that there are both former Catholics (who weren't particularly damaged by the experience) and recovering Catholics (who were damaged by the experience).

I found the experience of being raised Catholic VERY damaging. It was a combination of horrible priests, being forced by my father to make Sacraments that I did not want to make, and assorted other things. Yes, I felt like I was "recovering" from the experience for years after the last time I was forced to attend Mass by my father. I still do to some extent, every time my father opens his mouth to tell me how the sex abuse scandal is a lie, how I need to raise my future kids Catholic, etc. For some people, their issues with this church just never go away.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Cradle Catholic here. I've been into and out of the church ever since I left my mom's home. I've tried the others, but I don't feel like most other faiths list a creed of beliefs like Catholics do. Now, Presbyterians and Lutherans are the exception to that statement, but they are both so close to Catholicism that it's just like being a Catholic.

The point I'm making here is that aside from the corruption and other smaller technical problems that most former Catholics would really love and appreciate their church. For example:

Let the priests marry.
Screen potential priests for pedophilia, and agressively prosecute offenders.
Change the annulment process.
Don't require couples to jump thru hoops prior to marriage in the church.
Throw out the old lady music and liven things up a bit.
Allow women to become priests and group all other religious into a category such as deacons (women would be included in this group).

I think that the fundamental problems we all experience with Catholicism and leave the church for are technical. There is no basis in bible teachings for these rules...only in church history and doctrine. The problem is that the Catholic Church is run by fundamentalists, not moderates.

I've long wished for an American Catholic Church schizm...one where people would hold on to the rich culture and traditions of Catholicism without answering to the Pope. If there were enough people who followed this break--people including current and former priests as well as current and former nuns, we could make a go of this church and have joy in our faith....

 

[Want2liveatWDW]

Raised Catholic but I left the church when I was 18 and I've only been back for weddings, funerals & baptisms.

Ditto here.

 

[clarabelle]

Cradle Catholic here. I've been into and out of the church ever since I left my mom's home. I've tried the others, but I don't feel like most other faiths list a creed of beliefs like Catholics do. Now, Presbyterians and Lutherans are the exception to that statement, but they are both so close to Catholicism that it's just like being a Catholic.

....

Rafiki
As a Presbyterian -I feel I should speak up. They are pretty different! We don't have male celebate priests. (We have male and female non celebate inside of marriage).We don't have a head of the church. We have birth control, We don't do saints -except to discuss them in a historical perspective. I could go on and on.....

The service may be pretty similar -is that what you mean? We like liturgy for the most part and kind of have a "high church" feel. I really like that.
I find ritual comforting.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Former Catholic, now a Mormon.

 

[disneymom3]

The big difference for me Rafiki as I stated in my earlier post is the sacraments. Catholics believe in 7, Lutherans only have 2. That works for me as I don't believe in Reconciliation and couldn't bring myself to make my kids do it. Other than that, I agree that many of the mainline/old school churches do have a lot of similarity. We needed a different way of worshipping, not a totally different set of beliefs.

For what it is worth, I am offended when people call me a recovering catholic. Very annoying. Don't care what other people call themselves, but I personally was not traumatized in anyway. Went to Catholic college by choice and the whole deal.

 

[Laura]

I was raised Catholic, but my beliefs changed so that I'm not even Christian anymore, so I couldn't very well keep going to church, could I? I don't see it as any worse than any other organized religion but I haven't been traumatized by any nuns. It's really sad to see some people have had such bad experiences with Catholicism.

 

[helenabear]

It does make sense, but as I've explained before, some of us ARE recovering from the experience of being raised in this church and some will probably be recovering for a lifetime. Maybe it's safe to say that there are both former Catholics (who weren't particularly damaged by the experience) and recovering Catholics (who were damaged by the experience).

I found the experience of being raised Catholic VERY damaging. It was a combination of horrible priests, being forced by my father to make Sacraments that I did not want to make, and assorted other things. Yes, I felt like I was "recovering" from the experience for years after the last time I was forced to attend Mass by my father. I still do to some extent, every time my father opens his mouth to tell me how the sex abuse scandal is a lie, how I need to raise my future kids Catholic, etc. For some people, their issues with this church just never go away.

I can understand what you are saying, but truthfully that is the biggest generalization I have ever heard of! You might not have had a good church or Diocese, but painting the WHOLE church as such, well I find that insulting!

Just like I find it insulting when people claim that all Southern Baptists are narrowminded people who only put down women.

Place blame where it belongs... and you won't be able to convince me that someone who makes statements as you aren't labeling a whole religion for something that a much smaller population should be blamed for.

People recover from specific things... abuse, yes... terrible nuns that they were taught by, yes... old priests who didn't reach out to the congregation, yes... the WHOLE blasted church? Sorry, can't buy it.

Like I said, I get just as offended by any other stereotyping.

I am sorry you feel damaged by a few people. But to say it was the Catholic religion as a whole that damaged you is like saying a kid who was sexually abused by one specific teacher was damaged by the whole school system.

Recovering is insulting though... and I doubt anyone could change my mind on that. Go ahead and feel it yourself, but everytime you say it, you are being about as insulting to me as someone calling a black man the "n" word.

 

[Virgo10]

Another recovering Catholic here I was raised Catholic in the Archdiocese of Boston. 'nuf said.

Ditto only just south of Boston. I left the church at the age of 15 to join, what was then, a protestant only group called Rainbow. Before I joined Rainbow, the priest I spoke with told me I'd go to Hell because they wanted the girls to keep secrets from the church. Add on to that the Monsignor of our church told us that anyone who was not catholic would also go to hell and I'd had enough. Both my father and grandmother were Episcopalians. I also joined the Episcopal church at that time.

Currently I am unaffiliated with any church. I just don't see the point.

 

[gigglesnort]

Wow. I have never, ever heard a priest tell me or anyone I know that if you aren't Catholic, you are going to hell!!!

I was raised Catholic. I'm not a very good Catholic, but I have no ill feelings toward the Catholic Church. I may disagree with some of their stances on certain issues, but that's why I'm not a very good Catholic.

Honestly, in this day and age, I've never heard all these horrible experiences with the Catholic Church (outside of the abuse of course, disgusting) until I came on this board! And I'm talking of people in my age group. I'm 32.

Guess I'm lucky.

 

[Saphire]

Yes, I was also raised Catholic, attended catholic school, but never felt that God was near or that He loved me. I stopped going when I was 13. Then my search began. I had so many questions and just knew there was more to life. I finally became a Christian when I was 16. I realized that God himself wanted a personal relationship with me, and He wanted the relationship to grow. I realized, most of all, how much He really did love me, and how He paid the ultimate price to prove it.
We have been in several denominations over the years, and it doesn't matter to me where I go, as long as they preach Christ and Him crucified, and that He desires to have a personal realtionship with us. I realize there are some Catholic churches who do just that, but I get too hung up on the many rules and regs there...but God IS there too.

 

[gigglesnort]

Yes, I was also raised Catholic, attended catholic school, but never felt that God was near or that He loved me. I stopped going when I was 13. Then my search began. I had so many questions and just knew there was more to life. I finally became a Christian when I was 16. I realized that God himself wanted a personal relationship with me, and He wanted the relationship to grow. I realized, most of all, how much He really did love me, and how He paid the ultimate price to prove it.
We have been in several denominations over the years, and it doesn't matter to me where I go, as long as they preach Christ and Him crucified, and that He desires to have a personal realtionship with us. I realize there are some Catholic churches who do just that, but I get too hung up on the many rules and regs there...but God IS there too.

I hope you meant you became a Christian "again" when you were 16 because being Catholic means you are Christian!

 

[chrissyk]

Recovering is insulting though... and I doubt anyone could change my mind on that. Go ahead and feel it yourself, but everytime you say it, you are being about as insulting to me as someone calling a black man the "n" word.

I am calling MYSELF a recovering Catholic and not labeling anyone else, so that analogy is truly baseless. That I am open about that fact that I am recovering from my experience of being raised in this church should not be offensive or threatening to people who currently practice this religion. I am not painting the church with a broad brush. I'm describing MY own exprience in clear terms.

 

[chrissyk]

Wow. I have never, ever heard a priest tell me or anyone I know that if you aren't Catholic, you are going to hell!!!

A CCD teacher told me that my mom was going to hell because she's not Catholic Admittedly, I've never had this confirmed by a priest...I do occasionally remind my mom of where she's headed when she gets on my nerves, though

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Raises hand.