How mad should I be at my teenager?

[Disney Doll]

I'd have made her walk from the gas station too.

As far as the cell phone, she'd pay for it or not have it.

 

[momof2inPA]

She was probably afraid she would smell like gasoline at school.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Wow! When I was a kid, I ALWAYS walked to school (back in the days when walking was still safe!) Kindergarten was over 2 miles away, high school was over one mile. And grade school was over a mile. Can't say I'd let my son walk now a days. It's such a shame! Sounds like your daughter could use more responsibility. Good luck!

 

[septbride2002]

Boy I wish you were my Mom. At 15 and a half my Mom and Dad told me to get a job so I could start paying for my own things. They did purchase me a car for about $2500 that I drove until I was 18. At 16 I was responsible for my own phone line in my room, my car insurance, my lunch money, my gas, and all my extras such as shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and make-up. My parents gave me $100 every year for clothes and anything above and beyond that I had to pay for it myself. I did not receive an allowance. After Graduation I had 2 part time jobs and went to college full time. At 21 I had to move out of my house (divorce) and worked a full time job while going to college full time, oh and did I mentioned I paid for my college education?

In other words - I think it is time you teach your daugher some responsibility. Maybe not to the extreme that my parents did but I think she should have a job and paying for things on her own.

And in case you were wondering - I'm only 24 now so all of this wasn't all that long ago.

~Amanda

 

[RosieRosie]

We live in a small town so if she had a good chance of getting a job, it would have to be in the next town and she would need a car for that.

 

[battricia]

Maybe you guys could find a gas station that pumps the gas for you?! That way you can both stay warm in the car while your gas gets pumped.

I know that's not the only reason you seem angry. I just wonder if your daughter does other things, like getting introuble at school, not doing well in her classes? not getting in by curfew? Etc? If she's relatively a good kid, aside from griping about chores (which i'm pretty sure most teenagers do), then cut her a break, she's probably got a lot going on in her life, like graduating highschool soon (?), getting ready to go to college, pressure from her friends and what not. Good luck.

tricia.

 

[CookieGVB]

Do your chores take 20 minutes? 17 years old and it's just the two of you - she definitely should take on a few more home responsibilities, especially since you're paying for her cell phone, etc.

I'm only in the beginning stages of the adolescent battlefield - my son is 12...but I can definitely relate to the griping about the small list of things he is required to do.

Thankfully, I live in NJ, where the attendant pumps the gas!

 

[pnelson]

As far as the chores and money goes, we've had a problem with our 10 year old and this is how we solved it. Instead of paying him his allowance and fighting with him to do his chores, we stopped his allowance. He knows what his daily and weekly chores are. I don't nag or fight with him anymore. If the chores are not done, I quietly do them. At the end of the week, he is paid according to whatever work he has done. He's learned really quickly that if he wants money, he has to do chores. And it has also elimated the attitude because I really don't care if he does them or not and he knows that. If he wants the money, he will do them-Otherwise I will.

 

[Crankyshank]

I would definitely say she is more than old enough to start shelling out $$ for her "extras"

I started working at the mall at age 13. The mall was in the next town and I had to walk a mile to the bus and then take the bus to work.

If she can't do that, what about babysitting? Or doing extra chores around the house to pay for gas money?

You're definitely nicer than my Mom who made me walk to school, and I had over an hour of chores to do daily, and had to pump gas- no excuses. and she only paid for my tuition, food/shelter, and uniforms once I started working.

 

[Lynn CC]

I have a spoiled DS who is 17 and an only child! I'll be the first to admit we pay for everything. His car insurance is $141 a month, cell $39 and anything else he wants he usually gets from us.
He's worked a few days here a week in past summers, but it was volunteer work. This summer he will be volunteering again 3 days a week at a Legal Office. He wants to become a Lawyer. His days off he has a ton of homework to do during the summer...He has 7 years of college ahead of him, I'm sure we are going to be paying for plenty. He's such a great student though, I think that is a big responsibility as well. Kids today have a lot of pressure on them in school especially if they are taking AP classes. I think things have changed a lot since we were in school.
Don't be that hard on her if she is doing well, and is a "good young adult" that is more than some parents can say!!

 

[chadfromdallas]

Originally posted by Chattyaholic
But at age 17 she's definitely old enough to get a part-time job, to earn her own money to pay for her cell phone, etc.

at age 17, I owned my car+ a new motorcycle and paid for insurance on both

Kids today have a lot of pressure on them in school especially if they are taking AP classes.

I wouldn't keep your kid in AP classes if its stressing him/her out. It isn't worth it once you get to college. GPA + SAT <----thats all they care about.

 

[pw2pp]

Good job Chad, you should be proud.
There is nothing like the sense of pride that a person feels, when they have earned things on their own.

 

[CBRorBust]

I wouldn't keep your kid in AP classes if its stressing him/her out. It isn't worth it once you get to college. GPA + SAT <----thats all they care about.

I would argue this and say that a lot of my friends, including myself earned college credit for AP classes. She should take them and save the money on tuition later.

NOW...

Maybe I was raised a spoiled brat, but whatever. My parents have always felt that Education should be my number 1 priority. Period. This also meant me NOT working while in school. I was expected to bring home nothing less than a B in all my classes. They paid for my car, my cell, my gas, my insurance, and anything else that was "needed."

Having said all that. If you didn't want to pay for her cell phone, then why did you get her one to begin with? And if your thinking about grounding her because she doesn't want to pump gas, I think that is a little extreme too. I just think that sounds ridiculous to "ground" her because she doesn't want to pump the gas that YOU are going to be burning. Granted that you are taking her to school, but I too think that is one of the Parental Responsibilities. Just my 2 cents. Sorry if I offended anyone.

 

[crazelion]

I hate to say this. But there is a certain age when kids suppose to pump gas. In some states it's against the law for someone of a young age to pump gas.

I am sorry don't won't someone at young age that is not mature enough to pump gas it could be dangerous.

I also think pumping gas falls under parent respondablites.

 

[CBRorBust]

I personally just don't see why it's a big deal to begin with. It's just pumping gas.

 

[chadfromdallas]

Good job Chad, you should be proud.

Oh I am

Originally posted by CBRorBust
I would argue this and say that a lot of my friends, including myself earned college credit for AP classes. She should take them and save the money on tuition later.

NOW...

Maybe I was raised a spoiled brat, but whatever. My parents have always felt that Education should be my number 1 priority. Period. This also meant me NOT working while in school. I was expected to bring home nothing less than a B in all my classes. They paid for my car, my cell, my gas, my insurance, and anything else that was "needed."

If education was your number 1 priority, you would understand that those credits would be better earned in a college environment than any high school you could name.

Not working while in school is a terrible thing to not let a child do. I made straight A's and worked since the age of 15. Its a lesson that shouldn't be missed out on. Working taught me many things, mostly being that if I really want something, it shouldn't come from my parents, but from me.

 

[CBRorBust]

If education was your number 1 priority, you would understand that those credits would be better earned in a college environment than any high school you could name.

I completely agree. But in her daughters case, if she is annoyed by paying a cell phone bill of $25 a month for her daughter, then I'm sure that she will want to save the money she *may* be paying in tuition later on down the road.

Not working while in school is a terrible thing to not let a child do. I made straight A's and worked since the age of 15. Its a lesson that shouldn't be missed out on. Working taught me many things, mostly being that if I really want something, it shouldn't come from my parents, but from me.

And for the record, I did hold jobs throughout High School too. My parents were less than thrilled, but as long as I kept my grades up, there really wasn't anything they could say. I never felt that my parents HAD to pay for those things. They did that because they wanted to. I agree that working does teach life long lessons, but I see nothing wrong with NOT working while in school. School should be every child's priority! NOT to earn money to pay for bills. PERIOD.

 

[disykat]

IMO it's more than the fact that she didn't want to pump the gas. It's that when you asked her to pump it - she refused and insisted it was your job. I think she should have some priviledges removed (or responsibilities added) to remind her that families pitch in and help each other - it's not all about the parent giving giving giving to the child.

If I asked my child to set the table, fold some laundry, empty the dishwasher - any job - and they said "no, that's your job", you'd better believe they just earned themselves a new responsibility!

 

[Crankyshank]

It's amazing how things have changed in just a few short years

I didn't graduate all that long ago and I had to work, look after my siblings, do chores, participate in sports and other extra-curricular activities and I pulled A's & B's while taking AP classes.

My #1 priority was to be responsible to my family ( babysitting, chores, and good grades). If I wanted to have outside activities then I had to make sure I juggled them without it affecting my grades. If I wanted any extras, then I had to pay for them. That doesn't apply to my younger sister or most of the kids her age (17-19) that I know. By that I mean needing to work.

I don't understand why she can't walk to school and why she needs a cell phone. If you're not willing to pay for them, then she needs to either not have it anymore or get a job to pay for it. You're the parent after all- the teen shouldn't be dictating what she will and won't do or have.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by disykat

If I asked my child to set the table, fold some laundry, empty the dishwasher - any job - and they said "no, that's your job", you'd better believe they just earned themselves a new responsibility!