Remember you are talking to the choir. Many DISers would qualify for memberships in Overplanners Anonymous.
Just look at teh number of folks who create threads NOW about what their exact touring plan should be in fall of 2011 or the like! Or the folks who lament today that they are undecided about which resort to pick in summer 2012. Yes, I've seen those threads.
That said, do what works best for you. I have done vacations both ways. And our trips usually are a combination of being at the gate around 9:05- 9:20 and arriving a little later.
Certainly you can hit several headliners early in the am and grab some fastpasses. But most rides continue to have fastpasses through out the day.
I'd also say, most DISers are early morning type folks - they arrive at the gate very early then crash by early evening. The late hours are often just as empty, or more empty than the morning hours, though not always.
If your son is going to be cranky and miserable, then being at rope drop makes no sense. Once I pushed my nephew to get up too early, and he was miserable all day (not at WDW, bt on another vacation) he dragged his feet all day, which didn't make getting up early any benefit at all! I would have much rather waited a little onger i line wihta sweet child. That day happened over six years ago, and it has become the stuff of family legend! Especially i fyou plan on using the evening hours.
If you are going to be at the parks early, three worthwhile attractions are TSM, Dumbo, and Soarin'. Otherwise, you can arrive at 10am and still ride everything mostly using Fp for teh big attractions. You could arrive at ten am and still get FP ofr the two above, but the fp return times will be rather late, which will tie up your ability to get fastpasses for two hours.
Also, you can easily gear your touring towards doing the so-called less popular attractions in the afternoon, when crowds are at their peak. It just may be that you will only be riding the most popular attractions once. I think you said you'll be there in the middle of November, so crowds won't be super crazy then. Also, the three year old probably isn't tall anough for the biggest attractions, so you can use his fatpass ability to get a fastpass that one of the adults can use. Also, if ther is just two adults in yor group, you can do single rider line for EE, RNRC, and TestTRack (since each adult will have to ride alone anyhow- someoe has to stay with the child) Your son, probably will mostly want to go onthe more kiddie rides. Many of the kiddie rides don't tend to get especially long lines- except inthe very middle of the day. IaSW is crazy at lunch time, but dead by 7pm. The disadvantage of November is that you don't have a lot of late night hours - esp if you are offsite.
It's also important to realize that youa re talking abouta trip with a three year old. The three year old is't going to want to spend all day onthe most popular thrill rides- he's going to want to see the kiddie type rides. He will will probably love attractions like the TikiHouse, CoP, the riverboat, rockets, Muppets, HOney I Shrunk Playground, Tom Sawyer Island, Animal treks, Rafiki's planet watch, trains, and Imagination - these kind of attractions don't get especially long lines most of the time. Rope drop doesn't matter much if you plan to do character greets. They stop and start throughout the day.
So the focus will be slightly different, but there are lots of things to do.
I am soooooo thankful they have FP for TSM @ DHS. We went to DLR and the TSM @ DCA does NOT have FP. Needless to say, we didn't ride it that trip. The line was crazy!!!!! 
I admit, I'm a uber-planner. However, I am not THAT bad. 
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I saw this post and I got my hopes up for a second. 
The OP said her DH isn't a morning person. I have yet to meet a 3 year old who likes to sleep in! My youngest are now 6, and will actually sleep until 7:30! However, I've found that the younger they are, the earlier they wake.
