Today was insanely hectic! Garbage day that I forgot about so had to run around collecting to try to get ahead of the trucks. I won that one. Meeting at the hospital with the social worker. Meeting at the school. Meeting with the family doctor (at the practice) who seems to be able to put everything together for me better than the internist has been able to do. Meeting back at the hospital with an oncology NP. Go back out to get DH food because he actually wants to eat something for a change and hates the food "inside." Pick up son from work. Collapse.
The bad news of the day is that the tissue samples from the biopsy were inadequate for all of the testing they need to do to determine origin, although they believe origin to be pancreas. This means DH has to undergo another biopsy tomorrow. They are also doing an endoscopy, which I am actually happy about because his voice is weird. It has been for about a month. Raspy and whispery. So I'm glad they're scoping to have a look. It worries me though, because where else might it be?
The good news was his heart has stabilised on beta blockers to the point they have removed the monitor. He was really happy to be free from his "buddy." And the doctor is discussing discharge, possibly early next week and when talking about it said this was not discharging him to go home for palliative care, they expect to have a treatment plan and for him to fight it. I so hope it hasn't advanced too far! This is hopefully what a second biopsy will tell.
Looking at some of the positives - I am really glad you have the good support of your primary care physician. That's huge! And it sounds like your DH is getting decent care in the hospital. (Complaining about the food is actually a good sign! It means someone can eat!) Appetite is better, and heart rate has stabilized. Good! Next step, see what happens with further testing. Testing and waiting are really difficult, as you've found out. That really stinks.
Once you have a treatement plan in place, things might seem a little better. Remember that a crisis can only last a few weeks or so, after that, things normalize somewhat. You will have a new normal, but you will adjust. You will all probably go through a grieving process while this plays out so you might want to refresh your memory about what that entails so when the emotions pop up, you'll recognize them for what they are and help others to do the same. (Shock, denial, anger [sometimes yelling], bargaining, eventual acceptance, etc., and these can go back and forth, not necessarily in order.) And as others have said, you will look at goals and figure out how your husband wants to move forward, however that may work once all the information is known.
I agree with a pp, including your teens in the process will be difficult, but they will adapt, and later be grateful that they had the chance to be a part of whatever journey you will all be on - together. (My kids were five when I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, then turned six when I started a year's worth of treatment, but I still told them what was happening and included them in ways that I could, and they did great. Granted, younger, but I knew others with similar age kids who never even told them what was going on. From my perspective, it gave my kids a chance to help me, even in small ways, and I really think it helped shape who they are today in a lot of ways. Being open also gave others the chance to help us, which was hard for me, because I'm usually the care
giver, but I realized during treatment it was necessary to accept help. It gave
me the opportunity to Pay It Forward later.)
Thank you for keeping us updated. We can get bicker-y around here, but I've noticed when something serious like this happens, just like in real life, people tend to pull together and genuinely care about the situation and the people involved, such as yourself and your family right now, which is nice to see.
Take care, and know we'll be along on this journey with you!
I am keeping you all in my prayers.
I second this. My mom had breast cancer when I was younger (I was 18 months when she was first diagnosed and 18 years when she died - a number of "bouts" with the disease in between). I used to sneak into their bathroom when they were out, copy down the names of the drugs she was one, and then research them in the library to try to figure out exactly what was going on and how sick she was. For me, part of it was thinking that I'd cause my parents too much stress if I asked too many questions.
This made me so sad!
I'm sure they thought they were protecting you, though. I think much of the thinking is different today - hopefully.
"Liking" your post doesn't seem quite appropriate, but I wanted to let you know I'm following and you're on my mind. 
