How do you stop being a push-over

[Beauty]

I am proud of you Becki. You were exactly right in what you did.

 

[Kelsie]

 

[Buckalew]

Becki,
You did good! I think you are going to have to continue you doing this (being in control thing) for quite some time. You are going to have to be like the" little engine that could" and self talk yourself into being assertive and positive.
No one takes advantage of you unless you let them.

 

[honeywolf7]

I know I did the right thing, but I'm still in tears over the things he said to me. I didn't let him know they hurt, though.

 

[Buckalew]

Ahh, I bet he knows you are crying. That was his intent, I feel sure. I'm sorry you are hurting, Becki. I have no idea what he said to you but keep those kids first in your life and not the boyfriends and you'll be fine.

 

[honeywolf7]

Buckalew, that's something that Roger and I totally agree on....our kids come first no matter what.

 

[Buckalew]

Becki, That is great. All kids need to know they are important to Mom and Dad...and anyone else who enters their lives. Have fun with your kids tomorrow!

 

[Disney845]

Honeywolf- It sounds like this Roger guy is exactly what you need! Don't let your soon to be ex push you around. If he does it now, he will always do it. Stand your ground, and know that you have support. I think it is commendable that Roger is agreeing to drive you to your ex's house to pick up the children. If tonight was not your scheduled night to be with them, and your ex is asking you to take them as a favor, then he should be the one who is inconvienenced, not you. I did not for one minute think you just didn't want to see your kids, but that it was Thom's strange request of you "sleeping over" that was disturbing you. I am glad that you know how inappropriate that would be. I think it is odd that people are encouraging you to see your kids no matter what the cost. How can it be good for them it they gets the mixed signals of you coming over to sleep at Daddy's new place when you are trying to explain to them you are separated? It would also not be healthy for them to see your ex pushing you around. You are doing the right think!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Becki -- it's not even a question of "cheating on Roger". you don't belong in Thom's house because you and he both need to set boundaries.


and don't let him see you cry. my ex says very cruel things to me too. he wants a reaction. I won't give it to him.

 

[Serena]

Becki, we've talked about this and him. You know what kind of a person he is and what he's tried before, and what he's doing now.
Plain and simple. Your life the way you want it, or your life the way he wants it.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[snowwhitemom]

Lots and lots of hugs for you!!!!!!

 

[honeywolf7]

Another good thing happened out of this. One of my roommates heard me crying and since I was there for her when she and her bf were having problems, she came to my room and asked what was wrong. I told her along with telling her some other things that Thom has done in the past and she basically said they wouldn't happen again because I have several people here willing to back me up.

 

[Serena]

That is really good Becki.
I know it's easy for me to tell you to stand up for yourself. It's so much harder doing it. Especially in your circumstances and your life.

I'm really glad you have friends there to help you and of course a really nice man who thinks the world of you.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

 

[EROS]

Honeywolf, I applaud your decision to put a few "specifics" on the thread.

I go crazy with posts around here which vaguely state, "I'm sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand but can't seem to get out. Please say some prayers for me "

or

"I'm having a hard time because the world is crowding in. Please send hugs "

 

[Planogirl]

It's nice to read that this is working out OK for you this time. I think that you'll discover that it won't be quite as hard as time passes. {{{{Hugs}}}} to you.

 

[honeywolf7]

Planogirl, I sure hope you're right....I am doing better now, though.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm glad things worked out.

 

[tedsmom]

Tell him that poor planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on your part and end the conversation.