How Do You Stop A Habitual Liar?

[momof1princess]

I'm at my wits' end with DD11-I catch her in several lies each day, and she always says she does it because she's afraid she'll get in trouble, which happens anyway because she lied. I've pointed this fact out to her, but she doesn't seem to get it. We've tried grounding, taking away favorite things for periods of time, no friends over, etc., but it hasn't worked. I don't know what else to do. I have explained to her that if she doesn't prove she's trustworthy now, she won't be allowed the normal teenage freedoms when she gets older, b/c we won't be able to believe anything she says. She is classified as "gifted", but the things I say to her just don't sink in. WHAT can I do?

 

[MosMom]

We have always stressed from a young age that you MAY get in trouble for what happened but you will get in SEVERE trouble for lying. Then we backed that up with a harsh punishment if they were caught lying. My kids are crappy liars. I always know when they are lying.

They haven't lied in awhile and I think this is why.

 

[breezy1077]

My Dad just told me to not ask our kids if they did something that we know they did. Because they will tend to lie.

Another tactic is to tell them, "I know you did this. I'm disappointed as I'm sure you are with this behavior.".

He learned this technique when he was taking early childhood psych to earn his degree in education. He told me he never forgot this nugget and used it on us growing up. The prof. he had said that kids will lie as a defensive mech.