How do you other moms do it?

[tinaluis]

Add us to the list of those who clean when we're having someone over. In fact, as we're cleaning DH and I joke that we should have someone over at least 1x every 4 days so we can keep the house relatively clean without too much trouble. With three DDs (and their friends constantly over) our house is one huge toyroom! The "do it all, have it all" household is a complete myth.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

One book that helped a lot is Sidetracked Home Executives.

It is a humorous, inspiring book.

Basically they suggest a weekly plan.
My plan is
Monday -Paperwork
Tuesday-Errands
Wednesday- Full cleaning
Thusday- Fun Day
Friday-Half Clean
Saturday- Family work
Sunday- Family fun

This doesn't mean everything actually gets done but it reduces the stress/guilt a lot.
Instead of stressing out about EVERYTHING that needed to be done on Tuesday, now i just try to do errands on Tuesday.

When I worked outside the home we had an every two week cleaning team. I still spent 3 hours the night before they came putting things away but they did vacuuming, mopping, bathrooms, stove.

Also, Schiff multivitamin for Vegetarian. Take just 1 of the reccommended daily dose of 2. And take it in the morning. It is full of B vitamins which get depleted from stress.

Good luck !

 

[Trish Bessette]

I'm a full time mom of two daughters. They are involved in sports so there goes even more of my time.

Thank god I am a morning person. I get up at 5 a.m. I'm done getting ready at 5:30 and I don't wake up the kids until 6:30. That free hour I get so much done!! Dishes washed, load of laundry done, lunches made for school, wipe down of the bathroom, bring out garbage, that sort of things. My husbands is great with all the outdoor chores.

Also, I can't stand any sort of clutter! I've always been this way so my house is always tidy. So even though there may be a few toys out, without the clutter adding to it, it really isn't a problem.

My family is my #1 priority. If I can't dust today, it will be there tomorrow

 

[HollyJoy]

I'm a SAHM and it's hard! I do what I need to do, but my house looks lived in. I like everything straight, and hate clutter (although it always seems to find us). I always feel a bit uncomfortable in peoples houses that are model clean. It doesn't feel homey to me... rather cold. It's hard though, picking up after two kids and a DH! LOL Like why can't anyone put their shoes away? Ugh! lol

 

[Cruise04]

My housekeeping standards have always been low. As long as the dishes were done and the counter was wiped off with soapy water I was fine. I have been known to go a month, sometimes two, before I get to touch my house to clean it. I do laundry weekly because I have to. And I know people will think this is gross but bedsheets don't even get washed every other week like some people do. I have always felt it more important to do things with my family and be there for my daughter and her activities (which are not a lot) and the volunteer stuff I have done than worry about my house. If people were coming over I'd make sure I vacuumed and cleaned the whole downstairs but I never messed with the second story.

Now that my daughter is older I have more time and now that my volunteer duties are done I've definitely got more time to get it done. And now also that my daughter is older, she can help as well.

 

[onecoolmama]

You know I had a freidn that taught Gymboree. I took the class with her and another mom asked the exact same question. I told her exactly what I told you..I dont. People went around and said basically the same thing...then my friend the teacher said she felt bad.

She never got on the floor and played with her kids. She never played games with them or sang the ABC's or taught them how to spell or write. She said she felt bad because she felt like she didnt give her kids enough time. Her and her husband are OCD and they have to have a clean house the whole time!

I felt bad for her. It's like others have posted...you will always have ahouse and once the kids are gone, you can clean it. But you wont have your kids for that long...and you really should cherish it!

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by tinaluis
The "do it all, have it all" household is a complete myth.

Unfortunately, it is not always a myth!! My best friend is a nut ! She has two children and a full-time job. There has never been a day that her house has not been immaculate. She leaves for work at 5:30 a.m., yet still makes her bed every morning. She does laundry every night and makes sure everything is put away nightly and that there is no clutter. Her Saturday mornings are spent doing a total cleaning and then she washes all three cars once per week. Sometimes she even waxes. She is highly organized and has said that she just cannot sit down ever. She is not the type to sit on the couch and relax or watch TV. She is constantly "going." And she does manage to play with the kids too. Some people actually can do it all, but I do not think it is the norm. She is quite obsessive and it's almost painful to watch!

 

[KimR]

I work full time and have 3 girls (all in activities), so my house is always a mess! I do what is necessary (laundry, clean kitchen, etc), and try to keep the rest of the house reasonably tidy, but my priority is my family. I refuse to be so exhausted from doing housework that I cannot enjoy my family. So what if the house is a mess? My girls are happy, DH and I are happy, we are going to WDW in 10 months and that's what's important to us! As far as I'm concerned, life is too short to stress about housework. There will be enough time to enjoy a clean house once the girls are away from home (and I can't even bear to think about that!)

 

[cardaway]

Some SAHM take kids to daycare for at least some part of every week as well. Some things that they want to do, or need to get done, just don't mix with having kids tag along. I don't see it as being any different than having a sitter in the evening when they go out.

There are also others that work jobs that allow them to only take kids to daycare for at most a couple hours a day. Seems like a great trade off to me, with no ill effect on the child what so ever.

 

[Val]

The answer- it's magic....like an ILLUSION. The trick is to have people THINK you do it all. We can clean the house quite quickly for guests- as long as they don't open any bedroom doors, closet doors or descend into the basement! With 4 kids from 6-16, a husband, 2 dogs, 6 cats, 5 guinea pigs and a horse, as well as a full time job as a university prof- I am very busy. I do impose a basic level of cleanliness: no dirty dishes left around, animals cleaned up after, and I seem to vacuum everyday. We (okay, not the two teens) make beds before we leave the house (just nicer when you go to bed later), and we try and pick up the debris field. On Saturdays I try and do basic cleaning (bathrooms, floors, bedding, etc.) and ONE room deep cleaning. As the kids get older it is true they can help more- IF they are ever home! My husband bought me, the Martha Stewart wanna be, a plaque for the front hall to remind me of our life: "Martha Steward doesn't live here"...maybe after the kids are grown (yah, right!).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I know how those mom's do it, (I cannot btw ) , they stay up until 2am cleaning their house every night. My SIL, who you can eat off her floor says this is how it is done. Or I have met womne that say they are up EARLY, exercise & clean the house before they leave. One lady I talked to said she had to vacuum her way out of the house so when she left for work it was perfect. Me I am tired just thinking about it.

 

[bananiem]

We don't! I've been a SAHM for 8 years. I honestly have to say the years the kids were 1-5 were the best as far as keeping up with the housework. They still took naps and went to preschool for a few hours a couple days a week. I tried to do the cleaning then.
Now that they're older I try to get a lot done while they're at school, except I'm there a lot of the time volunteering or working in the computer lab. At night they have activities and I'm exhausted myself by the time we get them to bed.
I try to keep the main floor picked up. That way if somebody stops by it looks like I've got my act together! I try to keep the bathrooms looking good. And I don't mind doing laundry. Now that the kids are older they can help too.
While James is little nobody is going to critique your housekeeping abilities. And if they do, then they aren't truly a friend. My mom had a pretty spotless house. I remember her waxing the kitchen floor alot. She regrets it now. She wishes she had spent time with us instead. My kids always know they can distract me from housework by just asking me to play a game.

 

[ckay87]

I always wondered the same thing, then something kind of happened that made it all so clear.

My son has a friend who's mom is a neat freak. I always felt crummy stopping by their house 'cause it was always immaculate. Whenever she's over at our place, you can see her eyes just scanning a room in judgement and she'd always find a way to get in a little dig - "ooh, look at that dust in your vent. What happened here with all these Legos...etc."

Then she decides to tell me how she doesn't know what's wrong with her - she's always yelling at the kids, her husband, she's so depressed, etc. My very first thought was that she's spending too much time worrying about the wrong things.

I don't feel so crummy anymore. I may have spilled legos or dust in my vents (though I do have to take care of that one), but the family and I manage to have one heck of a good time every now and then.

My theory also is that there's a difference between clean and neat. You'll never see my house on HGTV (except maybe for an extreme makeover - I wish), but everything's sanitary - no rodents, roaches, e-coli, etc. What more could I ask for??

 

[m&m's mom]

I am a working Mom and my secret is a wonderful DH. He works out of the house and gets our DD's (4 and 7) up, dressed, fed, etc. He then takes 7 YO to school (during the year) and the 4 YO to my DM.
I only go to work and come home. When I get home dinner is fixed (by DH), and girls have been picked up from DM by DH.
My DM is a former teacher and picks up the girls from school. She then takes DD7, home and tutors her and helps her w/ homework. My Dad then takes the 4YO out to swim or to the park so she does not interfere w/ my DD and DM.
I do most of the laundy on the weekends and I do most of the deep cleaning.
Bottom line: Get you DH to help and relax your standards!

 

[southernclass]

My winning combination. I think it is a lot easier on me and my fi because we only get his daughter twice a month and I am lucky to see my babies once a month because their father lives six hours from us. I drive almost two hours to and from work, work out two hours a day, and still cook and clean but he helps me. We work different shifts so when he gets home he has a clean house and supper cooked and he does the same for me. He even empties the cat's litter box!!! WAM!!! I think you just have to help each other out and then things go smoothly

 

[snoopy]

I think for me is that I've been busy for as long as I can remember. I was one of the older kids in a large family, so taking care of babies and having a house to clean, cooking dinner, etc. is nothing new to me. The only time I can remember not majorly multi tasking is when I was married with no kids. Just a short period of time, so I guess you don't miss what you really never knew.

 

[k&a&c'smom]

I've never been able to "do it all," and I don't know many moms who can. My kids are all teens now, one about to leave the nest, and I have regrets about things we didn't do when they were little. But, guess what? Not one of those regrets is "Gee, I wish I had vacuumed more," or "Man, I wish I had done more dishes!" It's "I wish I had played outside with them more," and "I wish I had colored with them more," and "I wish I had worked less."

When my children were babies, I was a SAHM, yet I couldn't keep up with everything. My MIL is a very critical person, and anytime she came over, I felt ashamed that I wasn't more organized.

I finally realized that the most important things were that my kids were bathed, fed, rocked, loved. I spent a lot of time holding them, talking with them, tucking them in at night (they sometimes still ask for that ) and I don't regret a moment of that. I do regret that I had to return to work, after being home with them for 7 years, and they would beg me to stay home. Oh, to go back and do it all again!!!

Don't stress yourself out about cleaning the house - someday you will look around and think "I've got a clean house!" but those little sticky fingerprints will just be a memory!

 

[newholiday]

as the saying goes
"You do what you gotta do"

 

[huey duey & luey]

I had to laugh at this thread because my dh and I just had a huge discussion (ie fight) about this. I feel that he isnt really a help around the house at all, and I think he feels that it is my job because I am home. Currently his dirty clothes are on a pile by his bed. My house is clean because I am somewhat obsseive about germs , but it is very rarely neat. Basically I can have company at 9 pm on Sundays.
Tara

 

[Otto's Doll]

I have to agree with so many other posters... we DON'T do it all. My house is cluttered a bit, but I try to clean the living room a couple times a week. I don't worry so much about the kids rooms, the rule in our house is that they must be cleaned every Sunday, and since we have finished the downstairs playroom, their bedrooms stay pretty clean. I don't care about the playroom so much, no one but the kids go there. (and they can just shovel everything into totes when they clean up there). I keep the kitchen and the bathroom clean, cause it makes me crazy if those rooms are a mess, but my kids are also older now (9 & 11) so they can help, plus I have more time to keep up with things. I must say though, that family comes first. The dusting and cleaning will still be there tomorrow. Being there for our kids is more important.
I work part time, DH works nights, we volunteer at the school 3 days a week, and DH is in the Fire Department as well. We have learned to find time for the important things... and cleaning is not high on that list We do eat out a lot, and I am blessed with a husband who is very laid back and could care less if the house is clean, he would rather be with the kids.
Sorry for the long post, it is just meant to show you that you shouldn't feel bad cause the house isn't perfect, time with baby James and your DH is much more important.
Oh, yeah.. when they were infants NOTHING got done unless it absolutely had to!