How do you handle this?

[BlessedMomOfTwo]

We recently returned from a wonderful week at WDW - our first trip with our littles (ages 3 & 5). One aspect that I found surprising and troubling was the number of people who did not wait their turn in line. We found parents not requiring their children to wait in line for characters, KIDCOT, etc, as well as some parents who intentionally pushed their children ahead of ours. One was in such a rush to get her child seated in a chair at a KIDCOT station (where my daughter had been patiently awaiting her turn) that she almost knocked my daughter down. Of course, the worst were the adults who would walk right up in front of my kids.

On one occasion, we had stopped to watch the acrobats at AK. My kids were in the stroller watching the show. A family of 3 ran right up in front of them - Mom pulled out the video camera and stood right in front of the kids and Dad placed his daughter to stand right in front of the show so they could film the show with her in the foreground (right in front of the performers). I felt so sorry for their little girl, because she had to face Mom's camera, so she wasn't even able to see the show. Dh had to move our kids so they could see the rest of the show.

We try to teach our children to use good manners and to wait their turn, etc. On several occasions, my kids asked why they had to wait when others were not or pointed out to me that the other kids weren't waiting, etc.. I wasn't sure what to say or do. I figured there wasn't much use in saying anything to the offenders if they didn't know better already. I just tried to tell my kids to keep waiting for their turn and how proud I was of them for waiting their turn, etc..

Towards the end of the week, I was getting pretty frustrated with these situations. At one point, my dd asked me why one child went up when it was her turn and I replied that it was because her mother hadn't taught her to use her manners and wait her turn (looking pointedly at the mother as I said it). Not my finest hour, I know, but the frustration took over.

Just wondering how you might handle similar situations, mostly how you explain it to your kids?

BTW, kudos to The Mad Hatter who took it upon himself to tell a family who butted in the line waiting to see him that they needed to go to the end of the line!

Carol

 

[lindaso]

Hi Carol, I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed reading your trip reports. We have a lot of the same meals and activities planned so it was very enjoyable to read about your experiences.

As far as rude people, well, I really try not to let stuff like this get to me, it is supposed to be the happiest place on earth after all. Most of the time I can let it slide but if I'm cranky myself I'm apt to tell my kids that there are rude and inconsiderate people in the world but that we don't act that way. That they never learned how to use good manners and that we want to teach them how to be considerate of others, yada yada. I won't necessarily lower my voice for the conversation.

But like I said, I really try not to let it get to me. When it starts getting to me, it's time for a crowd break. I think it's OK to be honest with your kids that some parents really never learned how to be considerate of others so their own kids will have trouble learning it too.

 

[house_of_princesses]

At one point, my dd asked me why one child went up when it was her turn and I replied that it was because her mother hadn't taught her to use her manners and wait her turn (looking pointedly at the mother as I said it). Not my finest hour, I know, but the frustration took over.

If this is your least finest hour, I'd better do some serious tounge biting! LOL! One or two offenses, maybe even three or four, I slide. But if it is continual....it gets to you! I'd probably politely say, excuse me, but the line is that a way. If that doesn't work, I'll call for the Mad Hatter (isn't he great!).

 

[FreshTressa]

It is getting more and more common, and not just at DW.

Sometimes it feels like I have the only kids with manners. They get as shocked and horrified by the behaviour of other kids as I do!

I have no answer for you, but I just wish people would teach their kids some manners. I guess it is hard when you don't have any yourself!!!

 

[tjmw2727]

I found this on and off myself. Good for you for using it to teach your kids! The main characters are usually ok as they have a "handler" cm who keeps the line. I found issues at the cinderella surprise celebration and to tell the truth my girls don't bother with the kidcot much due to the issues you mentioned. If they find a seat and want to do some of a mask they will otherwise its just to stressful. I don't blame the CM's at the kidcot stations btw - they have ALOT to handle without trying to figure out who was before who, IMHO. When the chinese acrobats are outside there isn't usually a problem as the kids sit down front behind a rope but when they move the show inside it gets "aggressive"!

My kids don't mind waiting their turn and now as they are getting older I am also teaching them to kindly state "excuse me but I have been waiting". Or "I think the line starts after that person". Anyway glad you had a nice trip and I look forward to reading your report.

TJ

 

[jdads2]

It's happening everywhere. Parents teaching kids to disrespect others. I get shocked sometimes at what I see at the happiest place on earth.

Personally, I find these opportunities a great way of teaching my kids how they shouldn't behave. I rarely say anything to the parents because I find that it puts me in a worse mood and I hate that more.

...except on one occasion. This past summer we were getting ready to watch a laser and fireworks show. We had our seats, on the lawn, staked out about 90 minutes prior to the show. A couple of minutes before the show started 3 adults parked themselves infront of the kids. Now I wouldn't mind normally but there was no room for them. They were on our blankets and towels we had spead out. Well, to make a long story short (too late), I gave my oldest son if he would place our extra large drink down in front of his feet and quietly said "don't accidently knock this over and get that nice man wet". Not my proudest moment. I later explained why that was wrong.

 

[KatieKate16]

Very frustrating and hard to explain to young children. I can imagine how silly it sounds to a child telling them they have to wait when someone else clearly did not. I try to remain calm, but last year during spring break it began boarding the tram into Magic Kingdom (took about 3 shuttles and finally a human baricade to get on!), continuing straight through the HOT afternoon parade and into the evening. It's tough to remain calm sometimes! Though I did not waste any of my refreshments on these people, I did make some wisecracks.
For the parade, a lady forced her kids up in front of us shoving my 3 yo and when I barked at her (I admit it!), she yelled at me telling me "it was all about the kids". Was I supposed to be the bad person here??
REALLY hoping this won't happen next week! (I can hope, can't I?)

 

[Whosemom]

My kids are so used to the line "different mommies have different rules, and we don't do it that way" that they probably say it in their sleep.

How's this twist - what do you do when its your friend? Not being rude, but just doing stuff you wouldn't dream of letting your kids do? We went to the zoo, and my friend's kids were running WAY ahead (7 & 4). They were climbing on the fences, getting in the landscaping, one got up on her knees on the merry-go-round. After I pulled my little girl aside about the fifth time and QUIETLY told her to think for herself and think about how HER mommy expects her to act, my friend caught on and asked me if I thought she let her kids run wild. I hedged, so she said, "since you won't answer me, I'll take that as a yes."

Mind you, she raised her eyebrows at mine back talking a couple of times, but I thougt "I guess if you never correct them, they don't back talk." LOL

 

[disneyjunkie]

I think many people skip others in line and push their kids ahead because they know most people won't say anything to them.

When this happens to me, I have to say something.

 

[TigerLilly's Mom]

I agree that people do this because they believe others won't say anything! It drives me nuts. My kids have asked me similar questions and my answer is always the same "Because this is my rule". Later, at home, I will discuss why this is my rule and maybe not others. Also, I really try to get away from trying to make everything "fair" for my kids. Unfortunately, life is not always fair. If I have been waiting only a short time and someone does this, I feel bad for them and their bad manners and don't say anthing. If my children have been waiting patiently for a character, line, ect. and someone does this, I will say with a smile "excuse me, we are next". Sometimes, this does not even work - these people will not acknowledge you. I would never make a scene though, it would embaress my children and the children of these rude parents. It is a good idea though, to teach children as they get older to stick up for themselves and say "Excuse me" or something to that effect.

My DS - 8, has been taught to hold the door for the person in back of him - at the mall, store, restaurant, school, ect. I am always amazed at the number of ADULTS who do not acknowledge him or say thank you!!! This really grates on my nerves, so I always say "Thank you Chandler" in very loud voice to let people know how rude they have been.

BlessedMomOfTwo - you can feel good that your children know their manners and are respectful of others - that is really the best gift. I don't know if your children are school aged or not - but when they are, you and they will be rewarded. Teachers always notice these children and will give them praise, extra priveledges, attention, first choices, ect -and will give you respect as a parent and be willing to listen and make accomadations for you more.

 

[crisi]

"Excuse me, there is a line and it starts back there."

"Excuse me, you are blocking my view. If you want to be right up front for the parade (show, whatever), its a good idea to get here at least forty minutes before it starts"

"I beg your pardon, I believe my daughter was next."

(Granted, there are a lot of people who give you "a look" and just go ahead with whatever they were going to do. I've had good luck with people in lines and groups, bad luck with people at parades (such that I don't bother to get to parades early, we just see if there is a decent spot when the parade is starting - if not, we do something else))

 

[spr0m]

I agree it is getting more prevalent. These rude people are everywhere on the roads in the parks at the store. We need to think about somehow sterilizing them so they stop multiplying so fast and creating more rude people LOL. Just say something to them like the other posters said they know 80% of the people won't say anything. I just say something to the wife & kids a little louder about the bad behavior and that seems to work also everyone I know says I look very intimidating so that may help them back down as well. My kids dd3 and Ds1 are taught the correct way to act and my dd has suprised many people who hold the door for us when she says thank you very much with her loud and cheery voice.

 

[Samandmom]

If I am standing in line with my DS3 I will make sure no one gets in front of him. At our local amusement park this year DS went on some water slides. I would stand on the side of the line and watch my DS. I would constantly tell him that he was behind this girl/boy with such and such colored shirt/bathing suit. My DS is very good about waiting in lines. I understand that the little kids don't know any better if they are cutting in line. It is the parents responsibility to say something. But it was very rare that a parent would say something to their child. I also would tell DS out loud to net let anyone cut him, if I saw someone cutting. Sometimes it worked and a parent would say something to the child. Sometimes I wonder how these kids behave in school.

 

[Baloo]

I've gotten a CM on a couple occassions when people have tried to bully their way in front of us at a parade.The CM made them leave!

crisi...I've said the same things in lines too!

I just can't tolerate people being rude and disrespectful...I usually have something to say or do about it!

 

[Disney Ella]

I think all of us who don't believe in cutting in front of people should all get together and go to WDW at the same time! Wouldn't it be great not to deal with the line cutters? It bothers me much more than I wish it would, although I only say something about half the time.

 

[BlessedMomOfTwo]

Thank you all for your replies. I am glad to know it isn't just me who is bothered by it. I did try not to let it get me down, but at times it did.

I will just keep reinforcing to my kids that we follow good manners in our family, etc.. and perhaps I will try being a little more vocal with the offenders in the future (Thanks for the suggestions of what to say, etc). BTW, I am generally more vocal with people like this when I do not have my children along. I am always worried how the person might respond in front of my kids so tend to try to bite my tongue more.

It IS a challenge to get an excited 3 year old who is waiting to see one of the characters to wait in line, but if all parents did so, then it sure would be a lot easier.

Thanks again for sharing!
Carol

 

[mom2poohfan]

Hi. It is nice to know that other people try to teach their children manners. Some people we know act like we are a little too hard on our DS, but I want him to know how to act.

I try to be polite when this happens, but sometimes I do lose my cool. This happened once when I was there with my nephews who were 6 and 5 at the time. They wanted to see Donald Duck, and we waited patiently in the line while others jumped in front of us. Well, they ended up not getting to see Donald. However, he only walked across the courtyard, so I followed and stopped the CM and told her what had happened and she let my nephews have a little time with Donald. At that point, she started making the children line up, but some of them still jumped in front of others. I understand small children get excited, but it is the parent (or other adult) with them who should take responsibility. I was very polite in this instance, but I did say a few things loudly after my nephews had walked off. It is very upsetting.

I hope this doen't happen on our upcoming trip!!

 

[Mickeyhugger]

As nice as some people are, I can't agree w/the 'I try not to let it get to me." Well, I've tried that, and it get's to me more weeks later when I'm mad at myself that I didn't say anything, and let someone take advantage of my family and me.

So, like others here, I now speak up, and risk confrontation.(which so far hasn't happened)

People are sometimes shocked when other's confront them, and there's actually a chance they might not do it to someone else after someone says something to them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not rude, I say 'excuse me' too.

 

[mom2alix]

I'll admit, it's not my first instinst, but I've learned from my husband that politely speaking up for yourself is the only way to deal with these people. Otherwise, they'll just continue to take advantage of those who aren't etiquette-challenged. I propose a Good Manners Pride Week for Disney. It you don't want to behave, just stay home that week and the rest of us will go have a good time!