How do you handle these types of comments?

[magicmouse2]

Dont let her get to you. People prioritise their spending in different ways. My husband and I dont eat out or go out drinking, dont smoke, and live in a very moderately priced house yet people wonder how we afford Disney. The fact is they do all the things I dont - I work extra hours and dont spend much money to save for Disney.

 

[ekball]

Sometimes I really get aggravated though when I hear the same people talking about how often they get their hair/nails done, that they just bought a new Playstation system for their son etc. I want to scream - that is why we're able to stay at a deluxe and you aren't. Its all priorities.

Exactly!!! We have a few friends like this, but I just remind myself that they really have no idea what goes on in our house, what we do to budget and save for our trip. Our priority is not to spend a small fortune on my children's wardrobe (I know how to shop for bargains and they look just as cute!), on a bazillion toys for them, at the grocery store, on dinners out, etc. We cut lots of corners throughout the year so that we can stay where we want, and for how long we want. That's our priority, and we do what we have to in order to make it happen.

I know it's tough, but don't let comments like that get to you.

 

[goinback]

Just smile, laugh a little and inwardly tell yourself, "HA HA, we got to stay at a deluxe and youoooooo diiiiiin't!" Just kidding!(sort of!)

 

[TONNIE]

What about

"You are going to Disney World AGAIN!!! How do you afford it? Don't you get bored doing the same thing every year??" This from the beach people who spend a fortune on a beach house every year.

I just say -
"I can go to WDW for less than what you spend going to the beach every year, and get to see fireworks, parades, rides, pools, and not just sand. And if I want to spend a day at the beach I get to go to the lovely Florida beaches. "

I also offer to help them plan a WDW vacation!!!!!

I agree there is always someone to make a comment. How you spend your money is nobodys business. I personally cant understand the 300 handbag thing. I really dont care what anyone says about how much I spend at disney or where I stay only the kids get that vote.

 

[Sammie]

I would have said, "Well I guess on this trip we were, now tell did you do any character meals, how about Everest"???

There was no reason to defend anything.

 

[Mkrop]

Now that I let it off my chest I am going to try and just let it go. I am not going to ruin a 24 year old freindship over it, that 's for sure and the more I thought about she did have a couple of comments on her SIL new $1 mil house down the shore too. I guess we all get a little green sometimes!

I guess I will get this off my chest now too, I am not rich but what if I did have that kind of money and wasnt saving so I could stay deluxe. That's ok too! I mean some people have money, some work really hard, some have family money, whatever,so if they can afford to stay there or the Pres Suite at the GF they should be able to!!!!! Also I know she never would have done the reverse, if I had stayed in ASMu or someone where else, "oh you are value family", so I guess that bothers me as well. It doesnt matter where you stay!!!!!!!

We all stay where we want or can, we all do what we have to do to make our vacations wonderful, so vent over!!!! Thanks all!

 

[branv]

Honestly, it's hard to judge where she was coming from not knowing her a) past history and b) tone of voice. That's sounds just like something I would have said to a close friend as a joke. Jealousy is not always hateful, I can freely admit to a good friend that I'm COMPLETELY jealous when they get to do something I want to do. I don't feel hate or wish they weren't getting it, I'm glad for what they have or are going to experience. With my friends/family it wouldn't be anything to say, "Wow, are you serious, you get to do _____ ?! That's awesome. You suck!" (must be understood that that last sentence is sort of common joking with my friends/family, so don't freak out). Then they'll usually say something like, "I know, I really really do!" In fact, this weekend someone said that they were staying at a beach house for a few weeks, and laughing, I said, "Wow, must be hard!" They grinned and said, "Oh yes, we're really suffering, but we are going to tough it out!"

Just the other day I friend of mine finally bought the luxury car she'd been wanting. Another friend of ours said, "Well I don't know, can my lowly Honda-driving self ride in your car, or will it spit me out the back door?" She was just expressing admiration for the car and playing around. My friend with the new car laughed and promised her it would be fine, but she should buckle up just in case. But then, as I said, we have enough experience with each other to know the difference btwn teasing and true passive aggressiveness. I'm surprised with such a close friend of so many years you guys can't tease each other or your still unsure if she is actually teasing?

 

[Mkrop]

Honestly, it's hard to judge where she was coming from not knowing her a) past history and b) tone of voice. That's sounds just like something I would have said to a close friend as a joke. Jealousy is not always hateful, I can freely admit to a good friend that I'm COMPLETELY jealous when they get to do something I want to do. I don't feel hate or wish they weren't getting it, I'm glad for what they have or are going to experience. With my friends/family it wouldn't be anything to say, "Wow, are you serious, you get to do _____ ?! That's awesome. You suck!" (must be understood that that last sentence is sort of common joking with my friends/family, so don't freak out). Then they'll usually say something like, "I know, I really really do!" In fact, this weekend someone said that they were staying at a beach house for a few weeks, and laughing, I said, "Wow, must be hard!" They grinned and said, "Oh yes, we're really suffering, but we are going to tough it out!"

Just the other day I friend of mine finally bought the luxury car she'd been wanting. Another friend of ours said, "Well I don't know, can my lowly Honda-driving self ride in your car, or will it spit me out the back door?" She was just expressing admiration for the car and playing around. My friend with the new car laughed and promised her it would be fine, but she should buckle up just in case. But then, as I said, we have enough experience with each other to know the difference btwn teasing and true passive aggressiveness. I'm surprised with such a close friend of so many years you guys can't tease each other or your still unsure if she is actually teasing?

I think it was how she said it, ya know, you kind had to be there. So it kind of took me by surprise, and I did not know how to respond. It probably was a joke, it was just weird.

Like I said I am not going to ruin a long friendship over it, it was just an awkward moment (maybe only for me!

I just know at this point in our lives (37 years old) we all have different lifestyles and income levels so I just dont think I would even make jokes like that anymore. I mean we all tease each other and joke around but this was just weird. You are right though probably a joke that I just didnt get at the time.

 

[sfbank]

As others have said, don't worry about it. I have had the "You're going again?" comments, my boss has tallied up what he thinks we spend into fake investment scenarios to show how we are wasting our money--even though we max out our 401Ks and ROTH IRAs, and then in 05 standing in the airport waiting for the Magic Express bus to the Boardwalk, a lady in the All-Star line pointed to my family and said to her son "Look, that is where the rich people stay and blow their money." Could not believe it. We are by no means rich but we make a good living and again like others have said, live below our means. We have a nice ranch house but nothing fancy-three bedrooms. We have an 05 Durango and a 95 Dodge truck. One house payment, one car payment. Use the Disney card for everything and pay it off every month. I have decided I am not going to let it bother me anymore and neither should anyone else!!

 

[branv]

I think it was how she said it, ya know, you kind had to be there. So it kind of took me by surprise, and I did not know how to respond. It probably was a joke, it was just weird.

Like I said I am not going to ruin a long friendship over it, it was just an awkward moment (maybe only for me!

I just know at this point in our lives (37 years old) we all have different lifestyles and income levels so I just dont think I would even make jokes like that anymore. I mean we all tease each other and joke around but this was just weird. You are right though probably a joke that I just didnt get at the time.

Well it does sound like she's got kind of a history of this then, either that or she really doesn't know how to deliver a punch line! You know, it's amazing how easily people can make us feel almost guilty for the luxuries we take for ourselves, and then we try to justify them, and THEN we get mad at ourselves for feeling the need to justify them and not just telling the person where to stick it! You know, DH and I have been to WDW and on a DCL cruise a few times, we don't have kids yet so we have more of a disposable income and travel costs less. But I've been back in school for the last 2 years and DH's income is all that we've been living on. We've made a household budget that also includes putting money into retirement, emergency savings, and we then use our tax return and little money making ways (saving change, etc) for a trip every few years. We do all right by sticking to our budget and not living on credit. Now my older sister has 2 young children living at home, and she and her DH both work making very moderate wages (she's a teacher, he works for a professional photo place). But their salaries combined come out to more than what DH makes. Yet they can't afford to buy a house, can't pay off their credit, can't repair their cars, you get the picture. But they eat out non-stop, buy gizmos, etc. So when my niece asked her mom why we could go on a Disney trip and they couldn't, my sister told my niece, "Because they're rich." It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I guess sometimes you don't want people to get the impression that you're living on easy street while they're suffering in the real world. But then again, it's irritating for people to act like you are either just lucky or irresponsible with spending, when really they're the ones who need a lesson in fiscal responsibility.

I just keep gritting my teeth and telling myself, "It doesn't matter what they think, it only matter what I KNOW." Someday it will work.

 

[Magical JenK]

I'm getting comments at work about my being rich and all going to Disney every year. You see I'm a fireman and we live and work togeather. We all make about the same money. So they know I'm not rich. They just don't understand how I can afford it. The big difference is I'm a single parent. I have very few obligations. I manage my money very well and plan way ahead. I refuse to finance anything unless it has a zero pct interest period. In fact I'm using my Disney card to get free financing on this years trip.

I think some people just are naturally jealous. They may not even mean to be. And besides its nobody's business where you stay at Disney or how you payed for it. For all she knows you financed it. So I would not let her bother me or tarnish my good memories. If she every says something else then embarass her by asking why she is so jealous.

I think you go it right there! I think a lot of people are just naturally jealous as well!!

Honestly, I think a lot more people don't do their research like we do. Do they know that AAA has discounts? Do they know that sometimes Disney has specials? Do they know that there is 0% financing & if you can break up that deluxe amount monthly it wouldn't be so jaw dropping?

Personally, if someone says they stayed at a deluxe, I am jealous, but I say "OOOOOHHH how awesome! I hope someday to stay there too! How was it? Tell me!!" And probably bore them to tears!!

My DH & I have stayed only at mods (oh no, we're mod people!!) but that's by choice. Could we stay at a deluxe...maybe, but we'd rather stay for 10 nights & we know we can afford that at a mod. We are planning & saving (now) for our Nov 2008 trip where we plan on staying at the Poly for 10 nights!! Will it be more than what we pay now? Of course, but we know it & are planning for over 1.5 years for it.

Now, we get "you're going again? You don't even have kids?" Really? Wow, I wasn't aware of that fact nor the fact, thanks for telling me! But really, DH is the biggest kid around & going there brings us both to childlike behavior!!

Don't worry about what you're friend said. But isn't it great to have the DISboards to write about your situation & have everyone here?!

 

[kapoof]

just own it and say "yes actually we are a deluxe family."

 

[disneyfan67]

Some people are insensitive, some people just aren't disneyphiles, and some people are just plain jealous. We stayed at the Contemporary for 3 nights on our last trip. I saved hard for those 3 nights as we are also "moderate people" (lol), and stayed at the All Stars for the first week to make the trip more affordable. Staying deluxe doesn't mean you are rich or a snob or anything else. You will read on these boards that people who can well afford to stay deluxe, stay at values; and people who can really only afford values, save hard, go less and stay deluxe. Each person has their own disney priorities.
Forget it, you don't have to defend yourself. I hope you had a wonderful trip and will have many more.

ITA

I find that there's always jealously and it can be from complete strangers, long time friends, and even family. It can come in good or bad forms. Envy and jealously go hand in hand and if left unchecked it can ruin lives, friendships, and marriages. My former BIL who just passed away last fall, was a perfect example of letting jealously run rampant and consume him. He was always making comments about someone who had more than him and I was included in his criticism as well. It affected his life and helped make him the bitter, negative person he was.

It's hard to let that type of comments roll off your back and ignore it like some have suggested. I always see the same response when a thread like this is brought up and what people say they sacrifice in order to go to Disney. We shouldn't have to do that, but the "you have more than me and I don't like it" syndrome has been around since the dawn of man. It's a shame people make comments like that and I try make sure that I don't fall into that trap, not even to joke about it.

To the OP, you're a better person than me to handle it the way you did. I probably would have said something just as rude back to her, then later regret it.

 

[Mkrop]

Don't worry about what you're friend said. But isn't it great to have the DISboards to write about your situation & have everyone here?!

Yes thank you so much for the venting opportunity, cheaper than laying on the shrink's couch