How do you handle these types of comments?

[Mkrop]

I have a friend who just got back from WDW and we were at at shower yesterday having fun comparing notes and stuff. It was a fun conversation before and then after the comment but the comment bothered me and I felt I had to defend where I stayed.

She stayed at POR said it was beautiful, I asked her about the buses she said they were great, pool great food, great pool. I was happy for her.

She then asked where I stayed and I said the CR and she "ooooh arent we the Deluxe $ people and my family the Moderates!!!! It was the way she said it too!

So I pointed out that we stayed there b4 and it was hard to convinve DH to stay anywhere else. (thts' another thread, how do I convine him to try elsewhere) We only did 5 nights, she did 7. I also told her we got great airfare with SW and we put that savings into the room cost.

I dont know why she had to comment like that, I shouldnt have to defend where or why I stay somewhere. Another friend stayed in her mom's timeshare offsite, no comment. Another friend's mom payed for their cruise and stay at the Poly but only I got the "comment".

I dont get it!

 

[justcruisin]

Ignore it. You can't control what someone else does, only your reaction to it.

She likely does not remember what she said, or if she does, she did not mean anything by it. It was just a comment.

Assuming this is the first "incident" of this type, let it go. If it's a pattern for her, look to avoid conversations with her (or her altogether)

 

[Chester's Mum]

Some people are insensitive, some people just aren't disneyphiles, and some people are just plain jealous. We stayed at the Contemporary for 3 nights on our last trip. I saved hard for those 3 nights as we are also "moderate people" (lol), and stayed at the All Stars for the first week to make the trip more affordable. Staying deluxe doesn't mean you are rich or a snob or anything else. You will read on these boards that people who can well afford to stay deluxe, stay at values; and people who can really only afford values, save hard, go less and stay deluxe. Each person has their own disney priorities.

Forget it, you don't have to defend yourself. I hope you had a wonderful trip and will have many more.

 

[snowy76]

Can we say not-so-passive agressive??

Well, I think you defended yourself as best you could - but yeah, why SHOULD you have to defend yourself? I can totally symapthize because my friend recently she did the same kind of thing - not about WDW, but she put me down about something that she could have just as well ignored if she wanted to do the polite thing. Instead she took out her own insecurities on me.

Your friend probably wanted to stay deluxe but for some reason couldn't or wouldn't. It's too bad some people show their true colors at times by raining on other people's parades.

Me being the sarcastic person I am would probably have just said, "Yeah, well, I had to give up my favorite Ferrari to stay there..."

 

[Heluvsme]

You're probably thinking more about this comment than she is. She was probably trying to come up with a snappy comment to interject into the conversation and it came out as socially awkward, yanno? She might have been thinking in her mind, "Oh how lucky they are to be staying in a deluxe" but it came out snootier than she had intended. And I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt based on what else you said.....that the conversation was fine before and after this comment.

It struck a nerve with you, I understand, but hopefully she is really a friend and didn't mean it as crass as it sounded.

 

[ADisneygirl]

I don't believe you have to justify your vacation style to anyone else. It was a bit rude what she said to you, but I would have simply said "yes, we like it there" and left it at that. A rude comment deserves no explanations of why you stay in a particular resort. Who knows? Maybe she really was joking around. Or maybe she was jealous. Who cares is the point. Let it roll off your back and remember for next time: no explanations needed. Just say, "yes, we like it there."

 

[alldiz]

Forgetaboutit....

 

[Mkrop]

Thanks thats what I thought. I always read about the other resorts because who knows where we will be able to stay next time. I certainly dont judge people by where they stay. Different strokes for different folks!

 

[kaytieeldr]

She then asked where I stayed and I said the CR and she "ooooh arent we the Deluxe $ people and my family the Moderates!!!! It was the way she said it too!

"No, we're the 'this is the resort that's best for us' people. Why do you ask?"

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I know exactly how you feel. I've had so many comments made to me - must be nice to stay at (insert one) GF, Poly, YC etc. I always feel that I have to explain that we are a family of 5, we use AP or AAA rates, I wait for cheap airfare etc.

Sometimes I really get aggravated though when I hear the same people talking about how often they get their hair/nails done, that they just bought a new Playstation system for their son etc. I want to scream - that is why we're able to stay at a deluxe and you aren't. Its all priorities.

Most of the time I just smile and let it pass, but I know how it can get to you!

 

[suevee]

What about

"You are going to Disney World AGAIN!!! How do you afford it? Don't you get bored doing the same thing every year??" This from the beach people who spend a fortune on a beach house every year.

I just say -
"I can go to WDW for less than what you spend going to the beach every year, and get to see fireworks, parades, rides, pools, and not just sand. And if I want to spend a day at the beach I get to go to the lovely Florida beaches. "

I also offer to help them plan a WDW vacation!!!!!

 

[sunee]

When people say, "Must be nice to blah blah blah," I say, "It is."

I wouldn't even know how to answer a comment about "deluxe people," and probably woulnd't. Just as well, really, because the comment doesn't need or deserve a response.

You don't have to justify or defend your hotel decisions. Geez.

 

[Flametamr]

I'm getting comments at work about my being rich and all going to Disney every year. You see I'm a fireman and we live and work togeather. We all make about the same money. So they know I'm not rich. They just don't understand how I can afford it. The big difference is I'm a single parent. I have very few obligations. I manage my money very well and plan way ahead. I refuse to finance anything unless it has a zero pct interest period. In fact I'm using my Disney card to get free financing on this years trip.

I think some people just are naturally jealous. They may not even mean to be. And besides its nobody's business where you stay at Disney or how you payed for it. For all she knows you financed it. So I would not let her bother me or tarnish my good memories. If she every says something else then embarass her by asking why she is so jealous.

 

[PatsGirl]

When someone asks me how I can afford to go on vacation so often (quite rude I think but it happens all the time) I simply tell them it's the trade-off for driving a 10-year old jeep and eating grilled cheese and scrambled eggs for dinner all winter. That usually shuts them up! Most of the people that comment are driving brand-new cars, living in homes twice the size of what I would need/want for my family, eat out many nights each week, and have all the toys a family could want

 

[DizzDoll]

Did she ever stop to think that she's lucky to be able to go to Disney in the first place? Don't let the "comment commandos" bug you. We're staying for 5 days at the CR ourselves in August - but that's AFTER 5 days at Pop Does that make us "deluxe $ people"? I think not.

 

[Colleen27]

When people say, "Must be nice to blah blah blah," I say, "It is."

Same here!

We get a lot of that, and "How do you afford to...?". Well, we afford to because we don't care about having new cars (I have a 98 minivan that runs great, DH's work truck is a 94 and still going strong), we bought a 90K house instead of spending the 150K we qualified for with the mortgage company, and we carry no debt other than the mortgage. We live below our means for 50 weeks of the year, so we're able to splurge on great trips during the remaining 2 weeks and on big toys (boat, dirtbikes) to enjoy close to home.

 

[johnsonet]

When people say, "Must be nice to blah blah blah," I say, "It is."

Exactly!

 

[grumpymakesmehappy]

I don't believe you have to justify your vacation style to anyone else. It was a bit rude what she said to you, but I would have simply said "yes, we like it there" and left it at that. A rude comment deserves no explanations of why you stay in a particular resort. Who knows? Maybe she really was joking around. Or maybe she was jealous. Who cares is the point. Let it roll off your back and remember for next time: no explanations needed. Just say, "yes, we like it there."

I have to agree with the OP. Very well put....I also believe it was rude of your so called friend and you should not feel the need to justify yourself.

 

[Hobbes]

My inital reaction was "What a *****" but then when I thought about it, I probably would have made a similar comment and not meant anything by it . I'm sure if she's not normally like that she probably meant it just as a joke and it caught you on the quick. I always got really annoyed by people who say "Oh lucky tou" when I tell them I'm going to WDW. Its not lucky, I didn't win the holiday in a competition, I hauled my little butt out of bed Saturday and Sunday mornings to do overtime. Then I learned to accept the comments and think "Stuff you"

 

[tinawv]

I am sure that she didn't mean it to come out the way that it did. We have all said stuipd things at one time or another. The important thing is you and your family had a wonderful time. Don't let this put a blemish on it.