How do you handle inviting ds/dd's friends to go along?

[TeamMom011]

We will be cruising next Feb, and I assume there will be plenty of room in our cat 3 to invite one of my ds's friends to go along (I won't tell him but it would honestly be more for my benefit than his. I'd like him to have a "playmate" to keep him out of our hair so me and his dad can have some quiet adult time. I don't think that's too selfish, is it?)

Now finally to my question: I'm sure many other people have done this but what's the general thinking? My thinking is that since it's our invitation, we pretty much take care of all expenses except spending money. In addition to that dilemma, my husband doesn't think it's likely that any parent would let their 11 year old go clear across the continent with us - not because we're icky people, just because that's a very long way from home. This will also entail being out of school for a week. It's one thing to have your own child miss school, but have any of you taken a friend along during school time?

Any opinions or advice would be appreciated. Thanks all

 

[Eisai Babe]

The good news is that your DS should really not need a buddy along, as the other kids he will meet on the ship will be plenty. Your son will be so busy in the clubs that he won't know who you are most of the time.

As for inviting a friend along, I would say that you should talk to the parents of the friend first, before you bring it up to your own child. If it fell through once your DS had his hopes up, it would be pretty sad. If the parents agree, then IMHO you should pay all expenses unless there are "big" souveniers that the friend would want.

Hope this helps some.

 

[llachance]

I have offered to take a friend for my daughter on our next cruise. I asked the parents to cover any excursions they might want to go on and spending money. My daughter has made great friends on our first two cruises and really wants to share it with her best friend that's why I have invited her along. Her parents haven't given the answer yet but they are both prepared to hear no instead of yes.

 

[Alicia87]

Hi TeamMom!

Sure wish I had posted this question before our cruise! We went on the 7/13/02 7-Day Magic Cruise and took DD's friend with us (they're both 11).

I was terrified that since our daughter is relatively shy around people she's never met before, she would have a hard time enjoying our "vacation of a lifetime". I thought if she had a friend with her, it would make it much easier. We paid for everything except spending money.

Unfortunately, we now regret that decision! The girls fought every single day! Don't know if the excitement took over or what, but it was a nightmare! DD's friend was an extremely picky eater, and only ate a full meal maybe once while onboard. Mostly ended up eating lemons Never wanted to go to the clubs to "meet new people", or experience the "magic" of being onboard the "Magic". We didn't even stop to think about how much different it would be having someone else's child with us for a week and a half!

Had we known DD would meet two girls before boarding at the Radisson, and met "online" what has turned out to be her very best friend, we never would have had any worries. DD had the time of her life with those three girls, and still misses them very much!

We feel we wasted so much money on the extra person, and didn't enjoy the experience as much as we could have due to always trying to accomodate the other child....we're seriously thinking of re-booking next summer with just the three of us.

I think you will find if you send your children to the "Welcome Aboard" activities in the clubs the very first night, that's when they "hook up" with friends for the rest of the week! That's what we'll do next time!

If you have any questions, feel free to let me know!
Alicia

 

[Irishmom23]

My DD's ages 14 and 10 met kids their ages from the Dis boards right here. We were on the June 13, 2003 Wonder, and the girls e-mailed each other over a period of 3 or 4 months. The older DD also instant messaged with her friends from online. By the time we arrived at the port for our cruise, the girls had all become well aquainted with each other, and were almost inseparable the entire cruise. Just ask on this board if anyone with an 11 yo DS will be on your cruise and then e-mail the parents. It worked out GREAT for us!

 

[disboo]

We take friends along each year to our rented beach house - each child gets to start bringing a friend around age 13 or 14, and it has been great. We cover all expenses except souveniers, and expect the guests to be cheerful, let us know in advance of any food preferences, and to help cook the one meal the kids are responsible for. We really get to know the kid's friends, and, yes, the kids are "out of our hair" part of the time.

On the other hand, when my kids were around 10 or 11, the two older ones talked their respective best friends into attending a nice day camp with them. The two friends were way too cool for the camp, and thoroughly trashed the camp experience each and every day for two weeks. My kids therefore didn't like the camp, and I had to listen to the complaints in the car every day. I am sure my kids would have liked it if they hadn't been influenced by their friends. Live and learn . . .

As far as Disney cruise expenses, though, we are going to invite an extra along on our Nov cruise, and we are asking that person to pay for their air fare and for any extras. We are only offering to pay for the room on the cruise. We just can't afford airfare, too. We don't have an answer back yet, but our kids are older teens, and the teen may pay part of the cost himself.

I like having my kids' friends around. Have fun!

 

[Ginny]

TeamMom011 -

This is a great thread!! We have a DS (15) and a DD (7) and they both took their first cruise in 1999. The one trick they have learned is to go to the Club/Lab/Common Ground the first night so that they meet others their own age. With DS, he has an absolute blast. DD didn't attend much on the first cruise but she was a regular in the clubs on the second and third cruises.

A couple of thoughts about the CAT 3: They are roomier than some of the other staterooms but there are different configurations and the DCL website does not convey all the info. You didn't post which staterooom you have but some of them are only listed to sleep 4 and some sleep 5. Some of the staterooms that only sleep 4 assume that two people will share the double sofa bed and won't have the pull down bed. So, if the boys wouldn't be able to share the bed due to size or comfort, it might be an issue. Also, in many of the CAT 3's that sleep 5, the pull-down Murphy bed is in the bedroom instead of the living room (which impacts your access to the verandah at night because I believe that the pull-down bed is between your bed and the door).

Those issues may not be of any importance to you but thought I would mention them for comfort's sake. Have a great cruise!!

 

[sumfun]

our dd wanted to invite a friend and we gave it some consideration because she is 16 , however i noticed the friend and her could not always get along and thought this could certainly put a damper on my vacation.we decided against it however if we had taken her we would have paid for everything except spending money .maybe a cousin would be better,if there are none i would agree that your 11 yr old will have no trouble meting kids on board, my son was 11 the first time we cruised and he loved it. now the real reason i wrote .
you are the first person i've ever seen with my name spelled the same and everything. i know it sounds crazy but i was so excited to see that like wow another Tomi
hope you have a great cruise whatever you decide
Tomi