How do you handle a workplace bully?

[interestingquestion]

I just discovered this message board and have really enjoyed reading the questions and answers to so many interesting topics. So here goes with my first question!

After two years in a pleasant peaceful office everything changed after a new boss arrived! She has brought anger and terror to our world. This new boss is one tough confident women! She makes almost everyone ill at ease and afraid by her strong personality and incredible angry stare. She has incredible power and authority in her bearing and manner. All six of us under here feel like we are 7 years old being yelled at by the school principal for not eating our beets. Senior management just loves her though. She has produced "results" and has brought in sales!

Though the people work for her can not stand her constant screaming, yelling, threats and cold stares. As with most powerful people, she can put on the charm for the people that count and some days she can be nice enough so my co-workers put away talk about going in mass to senior management or HR to express our displeasure with the abuse. Though the next day, we almost get the courage to go to senior management after being yelled at again.

Looking for advice from each of you on how to handle a bully at work.

 

[browneyes]

I have perfected my own angry stare. The best way for me to handle a workplace bully is if she/he gets in my face, I just smile at him/her. That really irks him/her.

 

[Hillbeans]

Well, there are two ways to go about this. You can document what's going on, however you first have to ask "is what she's yelling about valid"?

Is she upset because people aren't doing their work right, coming in late, leaving early, talking, goofing off, etc....then she's got some legs to stand on. If she's just an obnoxious person, you can't really change that (unfortunately). If she starts to get really bad, i'd just flat out say to her that you know that she's your superior, however you don't appreciate being spoken to in that manner and especially in front of your other workers. Documentation is the key though, otherwise you could forget the circumstances of each issue. I see no way of getting anything from upper managment without well written documentation supporting your cause. Just going in and saying "she's mean" will make you look like you're stirring trouble.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Coming from working in HR, I would go talk to your HR Staff. To even begin to do anything about it, you must have documentation and talking to HR is the best way to start. They will be able to document things and give you a start on what to do. Maybe your boss doesn't realize she is being so hard on the employees, or maybe your boss needs some supervisory training.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would agree that documentation is key, but first you have to make sure that she is really as bad as you think she is, or are you just not used to a boss that expects results?

If you determine that she really is bordering on abusive, then document, document, document...and just the facts. As far as HR is concerned, I had a problem with a boss at a previous job, spoke to them about it, and they basically weren't interested in hearing it. They were impressed with the fact that this woman had a MPH from Yale. There was also a race issue, and I don't think they wanted to put any real time into looking into the problem to avoid the "discrimination" business. When I realized that reverse discrimination was acceptable in that company, I decided it was time to go. About a week after I left, they demoted her, so apparently she had done something that even the threat of a discrimination investigation couldn't fix it.

Too bad they didn't listen to me 6 months prior. I probably could have saved them a lot of hassle.

 

[DocRafiki]

I quit.


But, unless/until I buy my own place, my bosses will always be business owners, so it's not like I can change anything.

 

[klmklm]

hi, CR

 

[Margie J]

I'll PM you.

 

[jimmytammy]

kill em with kindness

 

[stemikger]

I usually just ignore the insanity where I work. When things get really crazy I just kill em with kindness and ignore the rest. Oh I think of the Magic Kingdom and how I love that place and that usually helps.

If the above doesen't work, look her in the eye and say

You talking to me! You got a problem. I think we should settle this outside. (Note: Say this with clenched teeth and a real mean and crazy look in your eye). LOL . . . Only kidding.

 

[Chubroach]

I notice that most of the people at work have "kick me" signs written all over them. Most bullies are really nerds just looking to pump themselves up by acting so tough. I say look them in the eye and start laughing and treat them like the nerd they really are. That will put them off balance.

If that does not work, I recomend documenting everything and go to the bully boss with the rest of the team and state that you will not accept that behavior. If that does not work, go to the bosses boss and tell them you have talked to an attorney about a harrassment civil lawsuit. If they still ignore you, everytime the boss yells at you walk away and look hard for a new job!

Always have 6 month *** you fund that allows you to be more confident in your dealings with the boss.