How do you feel about DH giving you a vacuum for Mother's Day.

[ZoeBell]

I'm a practical person. Including giving and receiving gifts. If someone bought me a 5 gallons of Tide and a 10 pack of toilet paper I'd jump for joy. If they bought a Coach purse or a diamond necklace I'd smile and say thanks then probably never use either item.

 

[Granny square]

It's not that I don't like vacuums, they serve a great purpose. I just think the idea of giving your wife a vacuum as a present is kind of insulting. The vacuum is for the entire household's benefit, it's not really for the recipient.

Everyone sees things differently. Clothes are a necessity. Not a gift in my book. A vacuum wouldn't be my cup of tea, but a kitchen aid would have. I can't imagine anything being "insulting" as a gift. That is insulting in my book. "Gee hon, I know you thought you were doing something nice but that isn't good enough for me."

 

[powellrj]

Just wondering why those who say they want practical gifts like housewares think that other gift are dust collectors or wasteful. My Dh takes me shopping to pick out clothes, or sends me away for a girls weekend, etc. These are things I would never do for myself. (When we met, I was 24 and was still wearing clothes I owned in HS, not cause I didn't have money, but because I just never shop for myself.). He reminds me that I need to be pampered on occasion.

But those are things you like. My DH has gotten me different types of useful and practical items over the years. Skillets for christmas is a typical gift. He will buy me household things that are more expensive than I would buy myself. I would buy a cheap one at target and he would get me the calpholon one I loved but didn't want to spend the money on. I love different types of kitchen gadgets. Sure everyday cooking is a chore, but I love to cook and consider it a hobby, so he is buying me something for a hobby.

As for the sweeper, if he got me one for mothers day, I would just assume that since I didn't have to buy one, I could just use household money to get something I did want like a new cookbook!

He now pretty much knows my favorite gift is money in my amazon, starbucks or itunes accounts. He knows I love to use those things, but hate to spend the money on them. Last night he surprised me by cashing in his change at the coinstar and getting me gift cards to all 3 places!

 

[mrzrich]

He now pretty much knows my favorite gift is money in my amazon, starbucks or itunes accounts. He knows I love to use those things, but hate to spend the money on them. Last night he surprised me by cashing in his change at the coinstar and getting me gift cards to all 3 places!

Now that I would love.

 

[Ginny Favers]

My husband gave me a very expensive watch for my birthday, and while that's a lovely sentiment, I wished I could return it.

It's our money and I know what we can and can't afford. And a watch was something I didn't need. I would prefer a vacuum-- at least that's something we need.

I think jewelry and flowers and "pretty" stuff like that is a waste of money. But that's just me. To each her own.

 

[mrzrich]

My husband gave me a very expensive watch for my birthday, and while that's a lovely sentiment, I wished I could return it.

It's our money and I know what we can and can't afford. And a watch was something I didn't need. I would prefer a vacuum-- at least that's something we need.

I think jewelry and flowers and "pretty" stuff like that is a waste of money. But that's just me. To each her own.

Again, why does everybody think it either housewares or jewelry? There are other gifts in the world.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

It's not that I don't like vacuums, they serve a great purpose. I just think the idea of giving your wife a vacuum as a present is kind of insulting. The vacuum is for the entire household's benefit, it's not really for the recipient.

Which is fine for you. Other people (not me) think of vacuums as toys, not household necessities so they would not find it insulting at all.

Why they get enjoyment out of those items is beyond me but since they do, I see nothing wrong with their loved ones getting them for them.

They probably wonder why people like me and you get enjoyment out of non-practical items. No one is the same and has the same taste so when giving a gift we need to think about what they would like, not what we would like.

 

[mrzrich]

Which is fine for you. Other people (not me) think of vacuums as toys, not household necessities so they would not find it insulting at all.

Why they get enjoyment out of those items is beyond me but since they do, I see nothing wrong with their loved ones getting them for them.

They probably wonder why people like me and you get enjoyment out of non-practical items. No one is the same and has the same taste so when giving a gift we need to think about what they would like, not what we would like.

Fair enough. Best answer yet.

The thing I hope people to take away from this thread is that gifts don't have to be either "housewares" or "Jewelry and flowers" There are plenty of fun gifts out there that don't fit in either category.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I would be annoyed with DH for purchasing me a vacuum, but not because I would think he was trying to encourage my home cleaning skills. I'd be annoyed because an appliance purchase that large is something that, in my house, requires my input prior to purchase. Some other less expensive appliance (like a microwave or something) wouldn't bother me at all.

 

[Minnesota!]

If it was something we needed, I would love it! I hate receiving flowers, jewelry, candy, cards for gifts. IMO - just such a waste of money. I really only like practical gifts....so a vacuum would have been RIGHT up my alley (although DH is the one who vacuums in our house...so it would have been more likely for him to receive it from me as a gift.). One year for Christmas, I got a toaster with an egg poacher on the side. It was my fave gift that year! Cooking breakfast at the same time, in the same appliance? Genius. Be still my practical heart!

 

[cheerforchelsea]

For years my grandfather gave my grandmother something for the house for every occasion - Birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day. So one year she gave him a lace tablecloth for his birthday......never again did she receive something for the house as a gift.

 

[Debbie Jean]

I have to post my mother's reply the year my dear old Dad bought her a vacuum cleaner for Mother's Day, "The house thanks you"

Never made that mistake again

 

[ItsNotMuchofaTail]

If I needed a vacuum, I would be happy! But I am very practical, and I like practical gifts. I don't need frou frou things, or jewelry, or flowers, etc.

My XH used to bug me to no end by waiting until the last minute, running to the nearest store, and picking the first thing he laid eyes on for any holiday/gift giving occasion. When we got divorced, I sold some old jewelry I never wore and found 3 of the identical heart shaped gold pendant that is a frequent special at Kay Jewelers, despite my protest every year that I don't like or need jewelry, and that I prefer white gold or silver. It isn't about being dissatisfied with a gift given in love, its about someone who can't take the time to think about what a person would use and enjoy IMO. I would much rather have something I could use.

 

[mrzrich]

But I am very practical, and I like practical gifts. I don't need frou frou things, or jewelry, or flowers, etc.

I hate receiving flowers, jewelry, candy, cards for gifts. IMO - just such a waste of money.

What is with everyone thinking that not wanting housewares as a gift means that you are not practical, or that you want Jewlery and Flowers?

I don't think buying something for the house is a gift. I also don't wear Jewlery, don't want flowers, and don't eat candy.

Buy me something for me. Last year DH sent me to WDW for my 40th birthday I had a few days solo (Heaven!) and then him and the kids met me for the last few days. Best gift I ever recieved.

 

[Minnesota!]

Eh, I can buy clothes any time. A vacuum is a "big item". I would much rather get a big item for an event then something I can get any old day. And a girls weekend or spa retreat - are both versions of hell for me. Pampering, to me, is having a clean house, spending time with my family doing something fun. Not away from my family, or indulging in something that doesn't benefit my family.

For Mother's Day, the kids usually make me cards, and then we do some kind of meal together. And then I get a back scratch from both kids. It's my version of a perfect day.

I am not DH's mom....I do not expect anything from him. And from my kids, I want to instill in them that "stuff" is not important, time spent together is...so I do not ask for anything outside of their company.

What is with everyone thinking that not wanting housewares as a gift means that you are not practical, or that you want Jewlery and Flowers?

I don't think buying something for the house is a gift. I also don't wear Jewlery, don't want flowers, and don't eat candy.

Buy me something for me. Last year DH sent me to WDW for my 40th birthday I had a few days solo (Heaven!) and then him and the kids met me for the last few days. Best gift I ever recieved.

And see, that's where we differ. I would never consider a solo trip to Disney (or anywhere) as "heaven". I more enjoy to spend time with my family. I get my alone time when I am at work. If I was given a spa day, trip to WDW (or anywhere) solo, etc....I would not be happy. Why would I want to do that stuff without my family (well, the vacation...the spa...no thank you on any level..). A vacation is, to me, about spending time away with those you love most. I want to spend my money on experiences...and I would not want my family to miss those experiences. I refuse to take money out of the "family budget" and spend it on myself alone. That money is for all of us. Which is why a vacuum is a great gift for me - all 4 of us can use it! Money well spent, IMO!

Neither is wrong/right - it's just what people are comfy with and take value in.

 

[Pesky]

I'm more practical myself so do prefer something like that to flowers and candy, which while lovely, seems a little wasteful. If I asked for it (and I have asked for stuff like that), fine. If I didn't and that's what I ended up with, it would be returned.

 

[ItsNotMuchofaTail]

What is with everyone thinking that not wanting housewares as a gift means that you are not practical, or that you want Jewlery and Flowers?

I don't think buying something for the house is a gift. I also don't wear Jewlery, don't want flowers, and don't eat candy.

Buy me something for me. Last year DH sent me to WDW for my 40th birthday I had a few days solo (Heaven!) and then him and the kids met me for the last few days. Best gift I ever recieved.

Oh, I think there are lots of other gift possibilities, but my XH only knew about jewelry or flowers...or nothing, LOL. I would have loved even a gift of 2 hours alone without guilt (doing whatever I want, without being made to feel like I should be at home, or that my chosen activity was weird, or calling me all the time to ask if I was coming home yet). That would cost nothing. My point was about the thought, which if someone gets you something you don't like or won't use, there isn't much thought there. Conversely, if someone would love a vacuum, and someone gave it to that person, its a very thoughtful gift.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I wouldn't be happy. But then there are people who probably wouldn't like what I consider gifts. As long as the gift receiver is happy, all is fine.

I always tell my husband a couple of things I would like so I'd hope he'd get one of those things. He doesn't always. One year I got a lawn knome. A very ugly one. It was kind of funny. I'd shown him some garden statues I liked so I think that's why he decided to give me that.

This year I let him know that I would really like an Amazon gift card so I can buy a bunch of books for my Kindle. I love to read. And a new birdfeeder and I showed him which type I really like in a couple of different colors and designs.

I'm hoping he paid attention this year. LOL

 

[Lehuaann]

I would love it, but then again, I love to vacuum. Lines in the carpet make me happy...

...as long as it was one that I really wanted. Not an oversized duster.

 

[rainynight]

I would be happy with it but I am tje type that would much rather receive something I would use than to spend money on flowers and going out to eat. I'm a total clean freak so I have received cleaning/houseware type gifts. I think if a husband put time and effort into buying a gift he thinks his wife will like then its just flat out inconsiderate for her not to at least smile and say thanks, and vice versa. With that being said my husband and I don't really do gifts for each other very often since we both pretty much have everything we want. For birthdays and Christmas and mothers/fathers day we spend money on vacations or little mini trips or some home improvement project. My point is...everyone is different. What works in one relationship will not work in another. Last mothers day I was thrilled that my gift was for my husband to finally get around to painting the trim on the house. That's what I asked for. To some people it may not have been much but to me who has been looking at the peeling paint for years was thrilled. After he spent all weekend painting we as a family cooked my favorite meal together since I'm not a fan of restaurant food and he made chocolate covered strawberries for dessert like he does every year. One of my cousins was shocked that I had such a boring mothers day. Lol