How Do You Encourage Parental Involvment

[Mkrop]

Have you tried calling and emailing the parents? Like call and say "Jane we only have 1 person to cover the concession stand could you spare a couple of hours?' If you get the on the phone then maybe they will realize that someone else is not covering the time slots.

or

You could just assign times and tell them if they cant make it then they have to trade with someone else.

We have snack bars for both football and baseball. Parents are assigned a date and time, if we cant do it then you need to trade. These snack bars help offset the costs.

In some areas around here we have lots of parental involvement, in other areas we are working the phones and asking for help. Some days it does seem like the same people over and over again volunteering.

 

[Wishing on a star]

the trip is not $1000pp. The $1000 is for the whole year of participating in Show Choir. Costumes, sets, competitions, bus drivers, choreographer, etc.

Ohhh, I do understand that.
But, this is still a $1000.00 commitment.

IMHO, something like show-choir should be more like professional dance/singing lessons. Just like your costumes, trips, etc... these things don't come for free.

Either it is subsidized...
Requires a tuition...
Or, the organizers should have a tried and true way to insure that the costs are met. (One that doesn't require the personal involvement of every parent, and panhandling.)

 

[luvsJack]

I agree OP, it has gotten difficult to get parental involvement!

I have volunteered from preschool for both my kids all the way through elementary. It had reached a point where by my daughter's last year I was spending so much time it was definitely taking away more than contributing to my family. I was always on the computer (writing agendas, minutes, or school newsletters, or working on yearbook pictures and layout) or at a meeting or event. I did yearbook, PTO secretary, and helping at all the school events. We were always trying to get more parents involved, to little avail. There was no clique of 3 women taking over, just a few women and a man who had to do everything, pleading all the time for more help.

But because there was so little involvement, I got sucked into a MUCH higher level of help than I wanted to, and so now that both my kids are in middle school I am taking break. I have not even gone to a PTO meeting because I am afraid!

That is exactly the way it is. We have begged for help, we text everyone, email, call and send notes through school when an event is coming up. No one will help.

I don't know what is going to happen. Those who can't shell out hundreds of dollars aren't going to be able to participate in anything and thats really sad for the kids. Its already that way in cheer. The girls are charged $50 just to try out! But that ensures that they are serious about it before they try out.

And there are still things that funds are needed for. No one is willing to do anything. We are a group of 4 but only because we don't have a choice, no one will help. PTO is even worse--a group of 3!!

 

[luvsJack]

Oh, I understood that the FL trip was to a competition, but it is a competition that has a very large travel cost, and apparently you haven't got the money this year AND it has been a struggle to get the money for some years now. Obviously, the parents are not willing to support the cost of travel to that particular competition every year, so the smart thing to do is to drop it. It's really neat and I get that, but participation is either financially sustainable or it is not.

I'm not advocating making your own costumes, but you can refurbish some old ones at a decent price if you have a local professional costumer do the work. Theatre companies do this all the time. I know because I used to do it for a living.

There aren't enough returning girls to refurbish old costumes. This is 7th and 8th grade. There are 3 or 4 8th graders and the rest 7th. This is all the 7th graders first year. Last year's 8th graders have moved on to another school.

I don't know about years prior, but according to the president, they had no problem with the trip. Its just always been that the types of fund raisers were split in two, individual and general fund. Individual ones go toward the cost of the trip and the cost of the costume. General fund ones go toward all the other expenses.

Parents have always had the option of either doing the individual fund raisers (these were just events that were labeld individual because money went into the child's account) or paying for the costume and trip oop. The general fund events were always mandatory.

Last year, enough money was put in each member's account to pay for their costume, the child's trip and one parent and money was returned to the child for spending money on the trip. They also left about $400 in the general fund account.







Well we (the officers) have talked about it. We have decided that we will make sure all the girls have a costume, and we will make sure all the other expenses are is paid for. We have this much time and effort invested, so we are going to continue to work and make sure this is done. We have a small number of people who have verified they are intersted in the trip and we have a couple of more weeks to pay the deposit. So, we are going to sit down and figure out the cost for each person to go to disney and what the deposit needs to be per person. Then we will have a deadline for a deposit. Whoever pays by that time will go, those who don't will not.

We are agreeing to do a lot of work for the next couple of months, but we feel that its not fair to the ones who have worked to just stop now.

BUT some serious changes will be coming for next year. I don't mind working hard for this stuff but I expect everyone to either do their part or fork over the money.

 

[luvsJack]

Have you tried calling and emailing the parents? Like call and say "Jane we only have 1 person to cover the concession stand could you spare a couple of hours?' If you get the on the phone then maybe they will realize that someone else is not covering the time slots.

or

You could just assign times and tell them if they cant make it then they have to trade with someone else.

We have snack bars for both football and baseball. Parents are assigned a date and time, if we cant do it then you need to trade. These snack bars help offset the costs.

In some areas around here we have lots of parental involvement, in other areas we are working the phones and asking for help. Some days it does seem like the same people over and over again volunteering.

I like the idea of assigning times or maybe even charts that assign certain parents to certain events.

We ususally split the list between three of us and call. Sometimes it gets us one or two people but sometimes none! Our president had to get her house guests to come work one game because we didn't have enough people!

 

[quentina]

Is anyone else finding that no one wants to get involved in their child's activiites anymore?

My oldest is 28, my youngest is 12 and for that many years I have been a part of whatever they were involved in. Booster Club officer, PTO officer, team mom, etc.

DD is in Show Choir. For our jr. high kids, it is a MINIMUM $1000 for each child to participate this year. That includes the cost for the end of the year trip for the child, but they will have to pay an extra 350-500 for one parent to go with the child.

We are raising money through a multitude of fund raisers so that all the girls can compete in every competition, have their costumes, have an end of the year banquet and go to WDW in April. We cannot get anyone to help, we cannot get a response from parents as to whether they understand how much the costs are, we have held several "mandatory" meetings and no one shows. Its ridiculous! There are 4 officers, supposed to be 6, that work every fund raiser we have done. We have had 2 fund raising coordinators and both have just stopped coming to meetings.

It is so bad that the school has given us permission to require that if the parents do not help they will have to pay $200 plus trip and costume costs for their child to stay in show choir (in the past, it has been understood that the group would raise as close to 100% of costs as possible so that everyone could participate). I am honestly afraid that we are going to end up with a show choir consisting of 5 girls.

If ou have been in a group with this problem, what did you do to solve it?? I will be in this group next year too and foresee being President and left with all the problems.

I held numerous PTO positions over the years. That position involved taking on other events "for the kids" as no other parent could make time. Four PTO board members and a few select parents ran everything. I knew who would help before the help papers even went out. You want to know what will fix it....CANCEL an event. Oh yeah, 1 week before holiday shoppe, it was cancelled . A memo was sent stating that as a member of the PTO, we also have families that we would like to see. SInce no one can spare a few hours "for their kids" the event is cancelled. At the next PTO meeting it was war. PTO president stood ground and said, oh well....where were you when the kids needed you.

I quit volunteering....I was tired of the drama, BS and the parents who don't help but are quick to point out my faults. Truly, I am amazed that I am so jaded by the entire thing. I will volunteer if my kids ask me to (fieldtips etc).

 

[golfgal]

We don't ask for donations (except businesses). We have school dances, spaghetti suppers and work at ball games. 5 hours on a Saturday, working a concession stand at a ball game or Friday night chaperoning 150 kids at a dance--we aren't asking anyone to "give" anything.

Again--I AM BUSY TOO!! So are all the other officers. Again--work full time, go to school full time, basically a single mom all week as dh is out of town, active in church, and work EVERY fund raising event we have.

Looking at that list I can see WHY parents aren't helping, heck, that is a full time JOB. I have maybe a handful of Saturdays during the year that are not already committed to something, if you asked me to spend 5 HOURS working at a concession stand one of those I would say no. In junior high kids don't WANT their parents to chaperon a dance, that is your problem right there. You need to find one or two BIG fund raisers and go with that. You are asking WAY too much for ONE activity. Stop with the fundraisers and just make the cost of Show Choir $1000. Those that can do it, will and you won't have to worry about the fundraisers any longer. I would much rather have to pay an extra $100-200 then EVER do another fundraiser again.

Also, the problem you can't see is that this is a priority in YOUR life, it isn't in everyone else's life. That doesn't make them bad people or bad parents.

 

[luvsJack]

I held numerous PTO positions over the years. That position involved taking on other events "for the kids" as no other parent could make time. Four PTO board members and a few select parents ran everything. I knew who would help before the help papers even went out. You want to know what will fix it....CANCEL an event. Oh yeah, 1 week before holiday shoppe, it was cancelled . A memo was sent stating that as a member of the PTO, we also have families that we would like to see. SInce no one can spare a few hours "for their kids" the event is cancelled. At the next PTO meeting it was war. PTO president stood ground and said, oh well....where were you when the kids needed you.

I quit volunteering....I was tired of the drama, BS and the parents who don't help but are quick to point out my faults. Truly, I am amazed that I am so jaded by the entire thing. I will volunteer if my kids ask me to (fieldtips etc).

I know exactly how you feel. And to be honest I got that way for awhile after being one of the only ones when my sons were younger (it was better then than now though). I guess a few years in between caused some forgetfullness.

 

[luvsJack]

Looking at that list I can see WHY parents aren't helping, heck, that is a full time JOB. I have maybe a handful of Saturdays during the year that are not already committed to something, if you asked me to spend 5 HOURS working at a concession stand one of those I would say no. In junior high kids don't WANT their parents to chaperon a dance, that is your problem right there. You need to find one or two BIG fund raisers and go with that. You are asking WAY too much for ONE activity. Stop with the fundraisers and just make the cost of Show Choir $1000. Those that can do it, will and you won't have to worry about the fundraisers any longer. I would much rather have to pay an extra $100-200 then EVER do another fundraiser again.

Also, the problem you can't see is that this is a priority in YOUR life, it isn't in everyone else's life. That doesn't make them bad people or bad parents.

If they want a dance, their parents are the only option there is. Our school isn't big enough for there to be other chaperones.

We do these because it is what works. We aren't that big of an area and we have the pto, booster club, student council, band, cheerleaders, annual staff and various classes all trying to raise money. Add to that the community football team, community cheer squad, community basketball league and various softball and baseball teams and church groups. This is a lot of the same families. There are only so many candy bars that are going to be bought or knick knacks to be bought. The band and another organization are both selling candy bars right now, someone isn't going to make much. The real "biggies" like fall festival are already taken by the PTO.

I would love to come up with some other BIG event that would make a lot of money. Any ideas are truly welcome!! We considered a beauty pagent not sure why it got vetoed but it did. I was thinking of seeing if we could bring back the old "halloween king and queen" from years past but that would be next year.

Its a priority to me because its a priority to dd. If someone else would rather write a check, more power to them but they need to write the check. If they don't feel its important enough to come up with the money they should not have allowed their child to try out. I realize that everyone doesn't make their kid's activities their priority and you are right, that doesn't make them bad parents. I just wish they would make sure they don't make things harder on the rest of us.

 

[quentina]

If they want a dance, their parents are the only option there is. Our school isn't big enough for there to be other chaperones.

We do these because it is what works. We aren't that big of an area and we have the pto, booster club, student council, band, cheerleaders, annual staff and various classes all trying to raise money. Add to that the community football team, community cheer squad, community basketball league and various softball and baseball teams and church groups. This is a lot of the same families. There are only so many candy bars that are going to be bought or knick knacks to be bought. The band and another organization are both selling candy bars right now, someone isn't going to make much. The real "biggies" like fall festival are already taken by the PTO.

I would love to come up with some other BIG event that would make a lot of money. Any ideas are truly welcome!! We considered a beauty pagent not sure why it got vetoed but it did. I was thinking of seeing if we could bring back the old "halloween king and queen" from years past but that would be next year.

Its a priority to me because its a priority to dd. If someone else would rather write a check, more power to them but they need to write the check. If they don't feel its important enough to come up with the money they should not have allowed their child to try out. I realize that everyone doesn't make their kid's activities their priority and you are right, that doesn't make them bad parents. I just wish they would make sure they don't make things harder on the rest of us.

Although we never tried it, I have heard art auction make big bucks. Kids make their own art, event is held and parents buy them. I do believe that they are framed for this.....If you are interested, I know a Mom who ran it in the Carolina's, I swear she said that they make over $15,000. They may have in corporated it with a spaghetti dinner. Other thing that is successful is Spencils (those spelly pencils in the tube). You buy them for 50 cents and sell them for a buck. It wasn't unusual for us to sell 800 of them per event. Although not alot of money, parents were willing to shell out 5 bucks and the kids would get one of every scent.

 

[golfgal]

If they want a dance, their parents are the only option there is. Our school isn't big enough for there to be other chaperones.

We do these because it is what works. We aren't that big of an area and we have the pto, booster club, student council, band, cheerleaders, annual staff and various classes all trying to raise money. Add to that the community football team, community cheer squad, community basketball league and various softball and baseball teams and church groups. This is a lot of the same families. There are only so many candy bars that are going to be bought or knick knacks to be bought. The band and another organization are both selling candy bars right now, someone isn't going to make much. The real "biggies" like fall festival are already taken by the PTO.

I would love to come up with some other BIG event that would make a lot of money. Any ideas are truly welcome!! We considered a beauty pagent not sure why it got vetoed but it did. I was thinking of seeing if we could bring back the old "halloween king and queen" from years past but that would be next year.

Its a priority to me because its a priority to dd. If someone else would rather write a check, more power to them but they need to write the check. If they don't feel its important enough to come up with the money they should not have allowed their child to try out. I realize that everyone doesn't make their kid's activities their priority and you are right, that doesn't make them bad parents. I just wish they would make sure they don't make things harder on the rest of us.

Again, you are answering your own question, if your area isn't that big then all the other parents are already doing the fundraisers for all these other things. If parents aren't committed to making the program go, maybe the program just needs to stop. If they aren't willing to put up the money, have the Show Choir do a few shows at school and be done with it. You don't have the money or the support to run the program your daughter wants. It's sad but it is also reality and instead of bashing your head against the wall trying to get parents to do something they don't want to do, scale back the program, forget the choreographer, let the kids design the show and perform at a concert or something, cost is nothing then.

 

[goofy!]

We will have to make changes next year that will probably discourage a lot of parents from allowing their kids to try out. Really, really sad for the kids. They need to be involved in something.

If you make the right choices, you might find that more kids try out.

I say this as a President of one 501c3 and a VP of another 501c3, so I understand all about volunteering and fund raising.

Your parents have spoken. They don't want the level of commitment your show choir is offering. I know as a board member, it is often hard to see the forest for the trees. But sometimes you need to step back and acknowledge that just because it has always been done that way, it should still be done that way. It is scary to think about scaling back a successful program, but you need to listen to your parents.

Have the current parents been polled if they want this? Or were they just told that this is the way it is done, they will be going to Disney, they will have x amount of competitions, so show up to volunteer?

If I were on your board of directors, I would be thinking that we needed to look at making some changes as the current course is not working for our parents.

Perhaps only offer the WDW trip every other year. If this is 7th and 8th grade, then everybody gets to go once and it stretches the volunteer commitment over 2 years rather than 1.

Our high school, which was featured on GMA several years ago because of the indulgence of the parents (and not in a good way ) only brings the choir and orchestra to Disney once every 4 years. That way everybody gets the trip at least once in their career. They just can't justify the expense every year. It is also a motivator for the kids to stick with choir or orchestra to get that WDW trip. The other years, they only do local competitions and state. There is more of an emphasis on state than Disney.

The trips are also optional. It is contracted with a travel agency who specializes in school trips and the parents make the payments directly to the agency. It keeps all the money headaches out of the booster club. If you don't pay, you don't get on the plane. Simple as that.

Not saying this is the best way to do it, but just an example of how a well heeled school does it.

Take heed that the seeds of change with your parent group have been sown.

You might find that next year if you don't require such a huge financial and volunteer commitment, you may have kids coming out of the woodwork to try out.

But if you continue on the path you are on, making the volunteer commitments and financial commitments more severe, you are right. You might see a drastic drop in tryouts.

 

[hambirg]

I think the way you do it. . .at least next year, is that you have a set dollar amount that each family must raise. If they choose to pay that out of pocket then fine. BUT you also have a set time commitment.

When my kids were in private school, I was on the benefit auction committee. .I was the family night auction chair. Things don't always just take money. . .they take manpower too. When you signed the contract at the beginning of the year, you were agreeing to fund raise $500 per child and you had to volunteer in some way for 6hrs. . .1 of those hours had to be for the auction. You could pay that $500 per kid OOP, but if you didn't do your hours, they cost you an additional $100 per hour you didn't complete.

ETA-Trust me, when parents that had blown off that time commitment piece started realizing that they were going to have to shell out an additional $600, they started looking for ways to volunteer.

 

[luvsJack]

Thanks ya'll for the food for thought. I am willing to work hard to keep the program one more year and then dd will move on. Again, its sad for the kids if the program just goes.

Every child should have the ability to get involved in something in school and when things start being limited because of parents dis-involvement, its just sad for the kids. Its funny the kids that are the most involved in other things have the parents that DO help. The ones we haven't been able to get to do anything (including just pay the money) have kids that are not involved in any other activities.

I think I will approach the teacher about rethinking the trip. They have always gone to Disney but at the very least we can research cheaper competitions/trips for next year or not go at all. And I will move up the deadlines so that the decision is made before we do a lot of work toward it.

I saw those smelly pencils when I was looking for fund raising ideas. That would be something the girls could sell at school and I can sell at work to the college students (they seem to like silly stuff like that). That will definitly be a on the list.

The art auction sounds interesting. And, I think we may concentrate on a big silent auction next year, we will just have to hit businesses early for donations of items. A lot of events will have to be based on the girls being able to do the work. And the expectations will be for the parents to pay up front.


I think going in with a different plan and knowing ahead that it will only be certain parents helping will better prepare us for next year.

 

[PaulaSue]

Sorry but I would not set hours to volunteer, just number of times/hours you MUST do in the year.

If someone would set hours for me most likely I couldn't go with Dh's crazy sched and 2 other girls in things. If I could plan ahead it would work out better for me as well as many others.

 

[golfgal]

Thanks ya'll for the food for thought. I am willing to work hard to keep the program one more year and then dd will move on. Again, its sad for the kids if the program just goes.

Every child should have the ability to get involved in something in school and when things start being limited because of parents dis-involvement, its just sad for the kids. Its funny the kids that are the most involved in other things have the parents that DO help. The ones we haven't been able to get to do anything (including just pay the money) have kids that are not involved in any other activities.

I think I will approach the teacher about rethinking the trip. They have always gone to Disney but at the very least we can research cheaper competitions/trips for next year or not go at all. And I will move up the deadlines so that the decision is made before we do a lot of work toward it.

I saw those smelly pencils when I was looking for fund raising ideas. That would be something the girls could sell at school and I can sell at work to the college students (they seem to like silly stuff like that). That will definitly be a on the list.

The art auction sounds interesting. And, I think we may concentrate on a big silent auction next year, we will just have to hit businesses early for donations of items. A lot of events will have to be based on the girls being able to do the work. And the expectations will be for the parents to pay up front.


I think going in with a different plan and knowing ahead that it will only be certain parents helping will better prepare us for next year.

Your program isn't failing because of lack of involvement, it is failing because of lack of FUNDING. School programs should NOT have to rely on fundraisers to exist. Perhaps your time would be better spent getting your community to support, financially, the SCHOOLS as a whole so you don't have to do so much fundraising for every single activity.

 

[Mkrop]

Sorry but I would not set hours to volunteer, just number of times/hours you MUST do in the year.

If someone would set hours for me most likely I couldn't go with Dh's crazy sched and 2 other girls in things. If I could plan ahead it would work out better for me as well as many others.

But the OP cant get other people to sign up so she has to do something if she needs her stand covered. Many times my assigned time does not work and I have to trade with someone else. Although I do think 5 hours is way too long.

OP you have a few choices:

Cut back

Cancel stuff completely and like someone else said many times this will get people to step up.

Make things mandatory, if you dont show up for X then your kid does not participate.

Now the last suggestion may not work for public school. I am coming from this from a praochial school and then the private clubs my kids are involved in. We are required so many hours of participating, we haveto have one parent attemd a mandartory meeting, forms need to be completed, or your kid does not participate. One game of Johnny standing on the sidelines and not playing bc his parents have not done ABC usually makes all the paperwork appear, And in the contracts we agree to do certain things as parents.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater next year, you might want to consider cutting back on trips. I think you can have a show choir without going to Disney. I mean, you have to raise $1000 for the year, right? How much of that is Disney?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Can you do show choir and find other places to compete that are more local and not so expensive?

I know nothing about "show choir" however Disney can't be the only place where you would compete, right?

Why are they going to Disney? Sounds like an optional thing and not an "earned" competition. In other words, you just sign up as opposed to having earned your way there through winning other competitions.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Your program isn't failing because of lack of involvement, it is failing because of lack of FUNDING.

MTE....

The reality/issue here is that there are big ideas/dreams that require a $1,000.00 commitment. (not that parents have to commit to 'helping' their child learn to sing/perform)

Like somebody else here just said, raising that kind of money is like a second JOB.

This kind of thing (this level of participation, competition, travel) needs better, and more realistic financial planning/support, etc... from those in charge. (not a huge group of 'involved' but frustrated and resentful parents.)