How Do You Encourage Parental Involvment

[luvsJack]

Find fundraisers that don't require the parents to work. Honestly, we pick and choose what we help with-we are board members for one activity and pretty involved in another, leaving little time for any others. Your parents may be in the same situation. Add church commitments to that and we simply do NOT have time to do anything else. If parents are paying out of pocket for costs, they should not HAVE to work at fundraisers. If a fundraiser grosses, $1000, you net MAYBE 40% of that. If a parent pays $1000 OOP, they are paying MORE already, plus you want them to work .

People are just SICK of fundraisers. I know I am. We are trying to come up with fundraisers for things that people already buy-Christmas arrangements, gift cards to the garden center, etc. It's not easy though.

No. We don't expect them to pay $1000oop and do the fund raisers, we want one or the other. They are doing neither.

Like I said, in the past years, including last year, the policy was that fund raisers for costume costs and trip costs were optional, all other were mandatory. Its the cost for those two things AND the competition and choreographer costs that make it $1000. And it worked then, the parents came and worked. Now, we can't even get them to a meeting or to send a note backed signed.

We don't make as much doing things like selling wrapping paper or sellling Christmas arrangements. Our big money makers are working the concession stand at a university ball game. But you have to have involvment to do that.

Most of what we do will net us more than 40%. We put no money into most of it. Garage sales, raffling off donated items, school dances, a booth at fall festival--all of these are 100% profit. No costs what-so-ever. The concession stand costs us nothing and we make a percentage of the take-in of the stand. All any of these cost anyone is a few hours of work.

I get the time thing. I don't have time either, but its important so I make time. The president has 4 children (all in at least one thing) and a husband getting his PhD and a full time job. The VP has 6 kids and one is a small baby. The treasurer has 4 kids, the one in choir is in at least 4 other activities and no telling what goes on with the other 3! We all get the time thing.

Its just really sad that the girls will be the ones that lose out.

We will have to make changes next year that will probably discourage a lot of parents from allowing their kids to try out. Really, really sad for the kids. They need to be involved in something.

 

[snowywhite89]

Is anyone else finding that no one wants to get involved in their child's activiites anymore?

My oldest is 28, my youngest is 12 and for that many years I have been a part of whatever they were involved in. Booster Club officer, PTO officer, team mom, etc.

DD is in Show Choir. For our jr. high kids, it is a MINIMUM $1000 for each child to participate this year. That includes the cost for the end of the year trip for the child, but they will have to pay an extra 350-500 for one parent to go with the child.

We are raising money through a multitude of fund raisers so that all the girls can compete in every competition, have their costumes, have an end of the year banquet and go to WDW in April. We cannot get anyone to help, we cannot get a response from parents as to whether they understand how much the costs are, we have held several "mandatory" meetings and no one shows. Its ridiculous! There are 4 officers, supposed to be 6, that work every fund raiser we have done. We have had 2 fund raising coordinators and both have just stopped coming to meetings.

It is so bad that the school has given us permission to require that if the parents do not help they will have to pay $200 plus trip and costume costs for their child to stay in show choir (in the past, it has been understood that the group would raise as close to 100% of costs as possible so that everyone could participate). I am honestly afraid that we are going to end up with a show choir consisting of 5 girls.

If ou have been in a group with this problem, what did you do to solve it?? I will be in this group next year too and foresee being President and left with all the problems.

First many parents are very busy and can't so all of this. Second no kid needs to go to WDW as part of this. That is surely a want and not a need.

I personally hate when others come to me to raise money so they can go on a trip. No way do I contribute. If I want my kid to go I pay or they don't go. It is not my job to send your kid on a trip or a travel event. This is fun for the kids and the parents need to pay.

 

[agnes!]

Sounds like the teacher will have to lay it on the line during class pretty soon.

Trip?
Sorry, not this year, it will be cancelled, there's not enough money and we can't get enough volunteers.

Competitions?
Sorry, we can only afford to go to 2 instead of 6, there's not enough money and we can't get enough volunteers.

Fancy dresses?
Sorry, wear something you already have that is knee-length, there's not enough money and we can't get volunteers.

Choreography?
Sorry, we'll have to re-cycle some of the stuff we learned last year, there's not enough money and we can't get volunteers.

Banquet?
Sorry, we'll have to have to cancel it this year, there's not enough money and we can't get volunteers.

Participation awards and honors like pins or trophies?
Sorry, we won't be able to do that this year, there's not enough money and we can't get volunteers.


Harsh? Perhaps, but I think the point will be gotten across.
agnes!

 

[SpecialK]

First many parents are very busy and can't so all of this. Second no kid needs to go to WDW as part of this. That is surely a want and not a need.

I personally hate when others come to me to raise money so they can go on a trip. No way do I contribute. If I want my kid to go I pay or they don't go. It is not my job to send your kid on a trip or a travel event. This is fun for the kids and the parents need to pay.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[TLuvsD]

Hmm, you might need to separate your problem into segments--this year and future years.
For this year, parents might be so unaware that they do not realize no one is showing up for fundraisers. They know show choir has gotten it done it the past and they are confident that will happen this year. Write a letter about the situation. Include a second page detailing the dates the payments are due, and that the payment can be a check or showing up a fundraiserXXX. No show, no check = no go (appropriate allowance for extenuating circumstances, which to me include that hard working kid with parents who can't/won't help, as long as that's not the whole choir). Give the letter to the students. Tell them that if there is no ON TIME response, they cannot go to the competition. And then stick to it. (The letter should include a statement that if there are extenuating cirmcumstances, talk to the principal. The principal can let Show Choir know who needs a scholarship. No need for eveyone's private business to be publically discussed.) If you want to email a second copy to the parents go ahead, but let the kids be responsible for some of this. If they are old enough to travel with Show Choir, they are old enough to be responsible for a letter/response. Every one of us has kids that can nag us to death about something...let Show Choir be the something.

For Next year, signed letters in advance as previously suggested. Add a little for a scholarship fund for those in need. Letter should include commitment to work fundraisers and be as specific as possible (I will hold a garage sale between date x and date y. I will do the Fall Fair from 8am to 10am, whatever you have nailed down at that point.)

Once people get the message that Show Choir is not a free ride, they can choose to participate or not. Sure your numbers might decline, but everyone who is there will be working towards the same goal. It's much easier that way. Good Luck!

 

[Wishing on a star]

My observation, in my area, is that every organization has a core clique who just take over and don't let anyone else help!

THIS.....

To be honest... I'm just done...

The kids shouldn't need helicopter parents at this age anyhow.
There has to be a better way.

 

[NotUrsula]

I don't mean to offend, but at this point, don't you think that the expectations need to be lowered? You obviously do not have the necessary parental support for a program that runs over $1000 per student, so it's time to scale back.

The FL trip and the banquet should be dropped from the program. The costumes should be scaled back -- you really only need one for the season, and if you think creatively you can find a way to make it a less expensive one. Can you have someone re-trim the costumes from last year or the year before?

If you need parent meetings, have you considered trying teleconferencing?

 

[luvsJack]

I don't mean to offend, but at this point, don't you think that the expectations need to be lowered? You obviously do not have the necessary parental support for a program that runs over $1000 per student, so it's time to scale back.

The FL trip and the banquet should be dropped from the program. The costumes should be scaled back -- you really only need one for the season, and if you think creatively you can find a way to make it a less expensive one. Can you have someone re-trim the costumes from last year or the year before?

If you need parent meetings, have you considered trying teleconferencing?

We only have one costume, $245. Most show choirs have 3. And the one we have is almost $100 cheaper than last year. The girls would not want to go to competition and be the only choir there in "homemade" costumes. We considered not getting a choreographer but changed our minds for the same reasons. The competitions around here are tough and our girls are talented, but they have to look the part too.

The end of the year trip is a competition, not just a trip. Its one day of competition and 2 days in the parks. It really doesn't matter to me if the show choir goes to the parks or not, we are going in June anyway. But, this trip has been a part of show choir for as long as their has been a show choir and I think its sad that these girls won't get to go. Our choir room is lined with big trophies from the competition in Orlando.

At this point, we are going to get everyone that pays in full for a costume to all the competitions and I just talked to the Pres. and we are going ahead with the trip. We will just take the ones that pay or raise the money. As for the banquet, we will have it. We will just have to do it with the money we have.

Next year will certainly be different. I hate to think of a child being left out because their family doesn't have the money, but if we can't get people to work there isn't much else we can do.

 

[luvsJack]

First many parents are very busy and can't so all of this. Second no kid needs to go to WDW as part of this. That is surely a want and not a need.

I personally hate when others come to me to raise money so they can go on a trip. No way do I contribute. If I want my kid to go I pay or they don't go. It is not my job to send your kid on a trip or a travel event. This is fun for the kids and the parents need to pay.

We don't ask for donations (except businesses). We have school dances, spaghetti suppers and work at ball games. 5 hours on a Saturday, working a concession stand at a ball game or Friday night chaperoning 150 kids at a dance--we aren't asking anyone to "give" anything.

Again--I AM BUSY TOO!! So are all the other officers. Again--work full time, go to school full time, basically a single mom all week as dh is out of town, active in church, and work EVERY fund raising event we have.

 

[luvsJack]

THIS.....

To be honest... I'm just done...

The kids shouldn't need helicopter parents at this age anyhow.
There has to be a better way.

If it weren't for those "helicopter parents" there would be no PTO, no Booster clubs. How do you think all the extras get paid for? If it wasn't for most of these organizations schools wouldn't have some of their computers or other items they desperatly need. Booster clubs pay for uniforms and referrees and bus drivers. Band boosters pay for band uniforms and sheet music. Choir booster pays for competition fees, bus drivers, props, backgrounds, etc. Those things aren't just dropped from the sky, you know.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We only have one costume, $245. Most show choirs have 3. And the one we have is almost $100 cheaper than last year. The girls would not want to go to competition and be the only choir there in "homemade" costumes. We considered not getting a choreographer but changed our minds for the same reasons. The competitions around here are tough and our girls are talented, but they have to look the part too.

The end of the year trip is a competition, not just a trip. Its one day of competition and 2 days in the parks. It really doesn't matter to me if the show choir goes to the parks or not, we are going in June anyway. But, this trip has been a part of show choir for as long as their has been a show choir and I think its sad that these girls won't get to go. Our choir room is lined with big trophies from the competition in Orlando.

At this point, we are going to get everyone that pays in full for a costume to all the competitions and I just talked to the Pres. and we are going ahead with the trip. We will just take the ones that pay or raise the money. As for the banquet, we will have it. We will just have to do it with the money we have.

Next year will certainly be different. I hate to think of a child being left out because their family doesn't have the money, but if we can't get people to work there isn't much else we can do.

I agree that it stinks. However your show choir parents are not able or willing to help you with fundraisers. You just have to accept that.

Make deadline dates and then stick to them.

Obviously you have to make reservations ahead of time and then are you buying trip insurance?

What if you have to cancel? You could end up losing parent's deposits.

As a parent that is what I would be nervous about. I think these are concerns you might want to address the parents with NOW.

I mean have you already committed to the Disney competitions and put down money? Where are you getting this money from?

 

[pioneer89]

I also have it the opposite of the OP.

In my kids PTO, and in their sports and scouts, there is a clique of parents who seem to enjoy being martyrs to the cause. They will complain and moan about people who don't participate non-stop, and it only gets worse the more people are there to help, because they now have an audience. I'm sorry, I came to help, not to get a guilt trip about not helping and event that I'm.... helping with.

Some good examples:

Our scouts earn money at a local festival selling drinks and such at a booth. For three years running, I've had to hear about what a pain it is to set up and tear-down. I ask what time this will happen, and tell them I will be there. They are always done when I show up. This year I figured I knew their trick, and showed up 3 hours early, and had to sit through a sarcastic "Well, no one ever shows up, so we just did it anyway"... as I was standing in front of the tent, 3 HOURS before they asked people there to help. A few of the other fathers tell me that putting up with the 'super-volunteers' is just a price I have to pay to be in scouts.

Both my son's and daughter's classes are blessed with very active parents. (Field trips frequently have 80% participation from parents.) There is a very limited need for parents to help out in the actual class, and my son's teacher has told me she easily has 5 times the volunteers she need, so she sticks with continuity, having the same 2 Moms do it all the time. If you listen to them, you might think they had a gun to their head forcing them to spend oh so much time in class.

My kid’s summer swim league is not too bad, there is never a shortage of timers or judges, and usually a few volunteers end up not being needed at all. But to listen to our "team Mom" (or whatever she calls herself), you would think she had the hardest job in the world getting parents to participate.


To me, there are a few tenants to me volunteering:

• If you ask me to do a job, you will be happy with the job I do.
• I should never, ever have to fight you to help you. If I meet resistance, I will go no further.
• Don't waste my time.
• Don't make a mountain out of a mole-hill
• Don't forget who this is all for. (Hint: it's not for the parents.)

 

[Wishing on a star]

IMHO, any leader who wants to plan a $1,000.00pp commitment had better have a set and worthwhile way to know that it will be funded... without crying and begging to parents, selling candy to relatives, etc.... There should be an established system/event/etc. Either that, or make it a pay-up-front proposition.

Ohhhh, yeah, we did the almost 'weekly' fundraisers with cub scouts... thing is, nobody every saw the boys benefit from one cent... Suspected that half of it stayed in the cub-masters and his favorite helpers pockets.

 

[TLuvsD]

If you can afford the trip once everyone pays for uniforms, great. But are you sure you can do that? Frankly, I'd be asking for costume + trip money. That could be in the form of fundraising or in a check, but you have to get rid of the expectation that Show Choir is a free ride for everyone, regardless of participation in fundraising/writing checks.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree that it stinks. However your show choir parents are not able or willing to help you with fundraisers. You just have to accept that.

Make deadline dates and then stick to them.

Obviously you have to make reservations ahead of time and then are you buying trip insurance?

What if you have to cancel? You could end up losing parent's deposits.

As a parent that is what I would be nervous about. I think these are concerns you might want to address the parents with NOW.

I mean have you already committed to the Disney competitions and put down money? Where are you getting this money from?

The president and I have been emailing back and forth all day and she hasn't put any money down yet. I told her we need to know any deadlines for canceling etc. She says that if it came down to it and there were not enough girls to compete we would cancel the competition but not the trip. Not sure how the school administration is going to look at that. I have already told her that we need to be careful about doing anything that cannot be refunded.

Anything that has been paid has been paid from the fundraisers we have done and the money that the school district gives the choir.

I am in the process of writing up some new policies for next year's choir. It will all have to be approved by administration and that takes awhile, besides it needs to be done before try-outs. I can just hear some of these parents raising cane about it now!!!

 

[luvsJack]

IMHO, any leader who wants to plan a $1,000.00pp commitment had better have a set and worthwhile way to know that it will be funded... without crying and begging to parents, selling candy to relatives, etc.... There should be an established system/event/etc. Either that, or make it a pay-up-front proposition.

Ohhhh, yeah, we did the almost 'weekly' fundraisers with cub scouts... thing is, nobody every saw the boys benefit from one cent... Suspected that half of it stayed in the cub-masters and his favorite helpers pockets.

the trip is not $1000pp. The $1000 is for the whole year of participating in Show Choir. Costumes, sets, competitions, bus drivers, choreographer, etc.

How else would you expect all of that to be funded? And again we don't do a lot of selling. We do events. Dances, dinners, concessions stands. Half the time no one even knows that its the show choir holding the thing. Its events that everyone already attends, we just step in and do the work.

Sadly, I guess next year at least 1/2 will be expected up front and 1/2 by December. Too many kids will be left out. I can only hope that some will plan to work at it next year so their part can be paid that way.

If you "suspected" that, why didn't you ask for a financial report? If anyone is fundraising for an organization, they should be able to provide it. That happened in our community league football. The lady got picked up by the law.

 

[luvsJack]

If you can afford the trip once everyone pays for uniforms, great. But are you sure you can do that? Frankly, I'd be asking for costume + trip money. That could be in the form of fundraising or in a check, but you have to get rid of the expectation that Show Choir is a free ride for everyone, regardless of participation in fundraising/writing checks.

I agree we have to make sure the necessary items are paid for first. Costumes come first.

I don't think anything is a "free ride". I can't just pay oop for all of this, so I work my tail off to raise the money. Dd works as many of the events as she is allowed (some had an age restriction on them) too so no one is really getting anything for nothing.

These parents are just making things worse on future parents. We won't be able to say that it only costs $X for costume and trip, we will raise the rest. From now on it will all have to be paid oop.

 

[elizke]

I agree OP, it has gotten difficult to get parental involvement!

I have volunteered from preschool for both my kids all the way through elementary. It had reached a point where by my daughter's last year I was spending so much time it was definitely taking away more than contributing to my family. I was always on the computer (writing agendas, minutes, or school newsletters, or working on yearbook pictures and layout) or at a meeting or event. I did yearbook, PTO secretary, and helping at all the school events. We were always trying to get more parents involved, to little avail. There was no clique of 3 women taking over, just a few women and a man who had to do everything, pleading all the time for more help.

But because there was so little involvement, I got sucked into a MUCH higher level of help than I wanted to, and so now that both my kids are in middle school I am taking break. I have not even gone to a PTO meeting because I am afraid!

 

[NotUrsula]

Oh, I understood that the FL trip was to a competition, but it is a competition that has a very large travel cost, and apparently you haven't got the money this year AND it has been a struggle to get the money for some years now. Obviously, the parents are not willing to support the cost of travel to that particular competition every year, so the smart thing to do is to drop it. It's really neat and I get that, but participation is either financially sustainable or it is not.

I'm not advocating making your own costumes, but you can refurbish some old ones at a decent price if you have a local professional costumer do the work. Theatre companies do this all the time. I know because I used to do it for a living.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I also am on the PTO, I am team mom for both of my daughter's cheering squads for the past 5 years, I coach soccer, I volunteer at school, etc. I have found that a lot of parents like to sit back and watch other parents do all the work, however those are the same parents that are so quick to judge.
On the other hand. I really despise when no one wants my help except when it come to fundraising.

Some thing has to give, you can't make a parent do something, the only thing you can do is cancel it or tell them that their kid cannot participate, but it is about the kids and it isn't the kids fault if their parents don't really care about what their kids are doing.