How do you break the news to your friends/family that they aren't invited?

[PryncessChrysty]

I know I sound horrible, though I'm really not, I promise!

We're planning an intimate wedding, so the only people that will be attending are our parents, step-parents, MOH & BM.

I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. So my question is, how do I politely tell everyone...YAY, we're getting married......BUT hey! You're not invited!!

I figure the best way would be to send out announcement cards to everyone. Is it too early since the wedding isn't until 11/30/05?? Any suggestions on what we could say in the cards? I would be willing to do a reception dinner here with everyone, but I just couldn't afford that for 50 people as every penny we have is going towards our wedding & honeymoon.

Thanks in advance for any help!

 

[disrookie]

One way to do it, would be to say, that you are having a Disney Intimate Wedding, it is the most affordable way. After saying that you could say something that mentions that Intimate only allow you to have 8 guests, that is the only part about it you don't like, but you don't have a choice... that will help break ice...

Hope this helps

Darla

 

[marn913]

What we did is this - We didn't "break the news" that many family members weren't invited. Just after we sent our formal wedding invites, we sent out invitations for our at-home reception that read something like "marne and michael will be married on June 16, 2003 at the Walt Disney World Resort, Lake Buena Vista Florida. Please join us to celebtate on (date/time/location).
I wore my wedding dress to the at-home reception and Mike just wore a suit. It was really nice and absolutely no one gave us a hard time at all! Most will really understand, and as long as you keep it low key and don't point out to people that they weren't invited, it will all work out fine! Most friends and family members simply want the chance to be there for some sort of "official" celebration -- they want to be there for you! Don't worry too much!

-Marne

 

[inloveindisney]

Well, I did the "we could only invite this many people" thing. I got a couple strange looks, like it was weird that disney wouldn't alllow more people, but they were understanding. My biggest problem was that my fiance invited a bunch of people he shouldn't have and then I almost didn't have room for my family. We couldn't uninvite, so we were stuck.

 

[PryncessChrysty]

Thanks for the tips!! I would love to hear more stories of couples who've had similar experiences.


inloveindisney - You're wedding day is the same day as my birthday!! I hope you have a beautiful wedding!

 

[ahutton]

I was lucky, in that we were able to do a small custom wedding so all the family received invitations, although very few (and we knew this going in) actually came. DH's Stepmom told me well in advance if we went through with our plan that nobody in his family would come, and she was pretty much right. Oh well, their loss.

For the friends and such that wanted an invite we were able to say "only immediate family and our MOH & BM" were invited, when we realized our best chance for a video was to have MOH's BF come along and do it we also added one person to be a "date" of sorts for the BM. He was single, not attached, and a single unattached friend of mine really wanted to go (and did). We did add to those who were not invited (the few who asked) that we would have a party after to celebrate together. It was nothing fancy, we made a few appetizers, had some snacks and I ordered a cake from a grocery store and met up at our house.

 

[totalia]

For my wedding (we are only having about 20 guests but not a disney wedding) we just invited only the handful of people we wanted. When others asked, we explained about cost and the desire for a small intimate wedding. No one said anything at all except "congratulations" and no one has been angry. They all understand.

 

[PryncessChrysty]

totalia -

Of the people that you weren't able to make room for, were any of them family members?

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

I am in the exact same situation. The only guests will be our parents, my MOH and her boyfriend and the BM and his girlfriend. Our families already know that we are having a destination wedding, but we haven't formally told them that we decided on Disney. We were briefly considering getting married in Mexico, and family members started inviting themselves and offering to pay for cousins to bring friends (that I don't know!) and it was getting larger and larger without even a definate destination. Now that we have decided on Disney, we are going to tell them that it is just our parents and the MOH/BM. We are going to have a party back home afterwards so that those family members who could not attend can see our photos and have a small celebration. I know how you feel though. Many of them really want to come, but I just want a small wedding. If I wanted everyone I know, I would get married at home. I have to admit, I am pretty lucky that these people care enough to want to attend. Good luck breaking the news, I'm sure that they will be fine with it, and if they are not, they will soon realize that it is your wedding and be happy for you.

 

[totalia]

Most of them were family members. We didn't invite ANY cousins, and only his aunt was invited of our aunts and uncles (because he's very close to her. She's almost like a mother to him).

The invitees were immediate family. We invited our sisters and their kids and SO's, our parents and their SO's, and our grandparents plus a few very close friends.

There were several reasons. Cost was a big factor. Another was that I've been married before. I wanted a small wedding rather than a large. I didn't want the large wedding in my first marriage but did it anyway. This wedding things are going to be done right, in the fashion that we can both enjoy (neither of us is much for parties and large groups of people).

 

[LorraineH]

Hi,

We're not having a WDW Wedding, but are getting married at Cypress Grove Park in Orlando.

It will just be me, H2B, and my two children.

This way, we haven't left the odd person out - we've left EVERYONE out!! But its exactly what we want!!

We are having a big party on our return to the UK, and we have invited EVERYONE to this!

The one thing I'm having trouble with, though, is people asking what we want as gifts. I feel bad asking for anything, when we're not inviting anyone there!!

We cant wait though - one more month to go - and my username will have to change from LorraineH to LorraineD!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[disneylovr1]

We had an IW at the WL, and only had our parents, one grandmother, and an uncle. No one cared that they weren't invited to Florida, it was never even an issue. We didn't send out invitationsfor the wedding. Personally, I don't think many would have wanted to spend the money to come to Florida anyway. We had a reception at home, I wore my dress, and we sent regular invitations for that. It was to celebrate the recent marriage that took place at WDW. I still didn't invite everyone that I could have (for various reasons). I felt that it was my wedding, and I could do whatever I wanted since I was paying for it. For example, I invited one second cousin that I always particularly liked, and didn't invite her 2 sisters. I meant no disrespect, but I couldn't affored everyone and you can't always please everybody. I certainly don't mean to sound uncaring or snobby, but just do what you want and don't worry too much about other people (unless said other people are paying for it!!). You can't ever please everyone, and those that love you will be happy with whatever you want, so just do what you want and don't look back!!! I'll get off of my soap box now.