How do you and your SO operate with one checking account?

[tiff211]

We have one account that we use for our household, I use it to pay the bills, shopping, gas, etc. Dh has a debit to this same account. He does not check it online (don't think he knows how). He doesn't shop for the house except for running to grab a loaf of bread or milk. He uses it for his gas, or lunch or when he goes to Home Dept for stuff, Best buy, etc. The thing is I don't know how I am supposed to manage this account. I keep asking him to give me the receipts which he never does and sometimes I have to tell him not to use the card except for essentials as I paid XX bills and there is not "fun money" at that point in time. I have to constantly check the account to see what has been debited.

We just switched banks and our old bank you could see the pending hold and also I would get an email alerting me of any changes to the account. Our new bank does not do this and I can't see pending charges until the next day or so.

How do you deal with 2 people debiting for one account? I went through this before we moved and he had his own personal account. He would use up his "spending" money and then start to debit from the household one again of course without letting me know. I made him promise to give the card up the next time he used it and didn't tell me. Sure enough, I wound up with the card.

I guess I am frustrated because he is not a child but he is not being as responsible about this as he should. He should be able to have access to the household account but he pays no attention to what's being taken out. We are not rich and need to budget for the most part.

I just emailed his blackberry a not so nice message because I checked the old account from the bank I am closing but waiting for some automatic debits to clear and our direct dep. to switch over before closing it, and I see that he has been using the card after I explained to him to use the new one. He has been using both!!! Now I have to go to the old bank and put money in there to cover the automatic withdrawls and the banking fees we were charged for NSF!!!

 

[luvwinnie]

We mostly use our Amex or cash for purchases...I only use the Debit for food shopping AFTER checking with DH that the cash is there. Other than than we only use the checking account to pay bills.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Heck we have a TON of accounts. No way would we ever have just one.

I have 2, DH has 4, my kids have 2 accounts I think.

Yea...it is nuts...but my dh says this is his "old man" thing.

 

[NMAmy]

Umm...yeah, that would be annoying and potentially expensive what with the NSF's.

We have a joint account. I have the checkbook and pay all bills. DH rarely ever buys anything but when he does, it goes on his credit card--gas, the occasional lunch, etc. I pay his credit card off each month. We stop by the bank on Saturday morning and take out our cash for the week--since we're usually together at the time, I take it out of the ATM and split up the proceeds and know how much was taken out. He doesn't take money out of the ATM without telling me about it.

This is one reason we don't have debit cards. For us, it's too hard to track their use--if we both had one, it'd make me crazy.

 

[Crankyshank]

Very easily. I have online banking and we both operate off a budget that includes pin money.

 

[JVL1018]

I used to do all the banking, but gave it over to my husband a couple of years ago because I was sick of it..he checks online pretty much every day, so I sometimes don;t even bother to tell him I used the debit--and if I did I rarely remember the exact amount.
I take the grocery money ($200 every two weeks) in cash so that I can keep track and stay on budget a little better.
He pays all household bills for the next 2 weeks as soon as he gets paid, so we never have to worry about going into that. The money left in the checking account is for eating out, spending, extra grocery and that's it.

 

[beattyfamily]

We have two joint accounts but one is MINE and one is HIS and they are linked so we can transfer money if needed.

I'm responsible for my account and he's responsible for his.

He is the breadwinner but he has my 'household' money direct deposited into my account when he gets paid. I pay for the groceries, gifts, misc expenses, gas, school stuff etc... He pays the bills.

It has worked great for us. I couldn't even imagine having one account to share.

 

[tiff211]

Heck we have a TON of accounts. No way would we ever have just one.

I have 2, DH has 4, my kids have 2 accounts I think.

Yea...it is nuts...but my dh says this is his "old man" thing.

We actually do have 2 but one is just when I go to Krogers because they offer rewards but I don't really like banking there so I don't use them for anything else. I just have a little money deposited each pay period.

 

[HeatherPage]

I handle all the bills through our checking account. We both have debit cards. If it's just lunch, small things, etc. he usually tells me a fews days after the fact or I see it online and balance (we almost always have enough in there for this kind of stuff over and above bills). However, if he wants to purchase something say $25 or up he'll check with me first (not really that big of a pain since we both have cell phones with us most always and he can quickly check). Sounds like he just needs to get more responsible and give you the receipts (or at least remember a rough figure to give you) and no large (predetermined number by the both of you) purchases without checking with you first. If he can't do that maybe he should give up his debit card and "give" him so much cash per week as his spending money and once it's gone, it's gone.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

First, I just want to say what beautiful kids you have! I always smile when I see your posts

DH pulls out $60 a week for incidentals (lunch, picking up a thing or two at the grocery store, a magazine, etc). This way, he really doesn't have to use the debit card too much -- and I don't have to worry about collecting receipts. He does use it for his gas, but he fills the tank once every ten days or so.

Anything big either of us buy, we obviously compare notes with each other first, and we'll move some money around from savings into checking and use or debit card, or we'll put the expense on a credit card and move money around when the bill is due to pay it in full.

Something I have found extremely helpful was finding a bank that allows my savings account to be my overdraft protection. Thankfully we've never needed it, but it's nice not to have to check the checking account daily.

As for getting your DH to use the right card, good luck with that. I've given up on my DH with stuff like that. Whenever we get any type of new card (health ins., credit card, debit, insurance, etc), I have to physically go through his wallet, remove the old one and replace it with the new one. Otherwise it sits on the dining room table FOREVER.

Best of luck finding something that works for you both

 

[Laralyn]

Why not open a second account and not link it to a debit card at all? If it's at the same bank and the bank has online banking services, transferring money from one account to the other is free and instant. The second account could be a savings account or another checking account.

Then each time someone gets paid, you can either deposit straight into the second "holding" account or transfer the funds online. You can leave only spending money in the main account that has the debit card. Then when your SO uses the card, there is only a certain amount he can use.

That doesn't help with reconciling and getting receipts from him, but at least you will always have enough money to pay the bills.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I am the finance person in our house.

Both of our pay checks are direct deposited.
I take care of the bills.
One of us takes out money for each of us each week.
I always check our account online, but I always have a running tab in my head (and in excel).
DH rarely ever buys anything without telling me, and he always leaves me the receipts for my records. If he wants to buy me a surprise he uses his credit card.

It works for us.

 

[tiff211]

First, I just want to say what beautiful kids you have! I always smile when I see your posts

DH pulls out $60 a week for incidentals (lunch, picking up a thing or two at the grocery store, a magazine, etc). This way, he really doesn't have to use the debit card too much -- and I don't have to worry about collecting receipts. He does use it for his gas, but he fills the tank once every ten days or so.

Anything big either of us buy, we obviously compare notes with each other first, and we'll move some money around from savings into checking and use or debit card, or we'll put the expense on a credit card and move money around when the bill is due to pay it in full.

Something I have found extremely helpful was finding a bank that allows my savings account to be my overdraft protection. Thankfully we've never needed it, but it's nice not to have to check the checking account daily.

As for getting your DH to use the right card, good luck with that. I've given up on my DH with stuff like that. Whenever we get any type of new card (health ins., credit card, debit, insurance, etc), I have to physically go through his wallet, remove the old one and replace it with the new one. Otherwise it sits on the dining room table FOREVER.

Best of luck finding something that works for you both

Thank you, I can't wait to update a picture when we come back from WDW in a few weeks.

Anyway, we do have overdraft protection but I had already withdrawn from savings with the old bank so that's why we were hit with the fees. Why the heck do they keep letting you use the debit if there is no money in your account. Decline the card already!!!!!

I really want to try the cash method but he says it so much more convenient to use the debit.........whatever!!!!

 

[lovemygoofy]

You have alot more patience than I do. Obviously this has happened a few times perviously and you are still being nice to him. I don't have the time or patience to want to deal with someone who isn't concerned about his family's money.

Looks like until he can act like a responsible adult and take an active part in the finances, he needs to be on a cash basis with no debit cards. If you do that though, you are going to have to be strong when he runs out of money and realizes that's it until the next payday. However, when I said cash money I'm talking his fun money for extras and that to us doesn't include gas. If you are going to include gas in his cash, then give him extra for the gas.

Do you budget for gas and the extras like fun money? I have a good idea every month of how much gas we will use and we each get around $70 a month for fun money that includes eating out for lunch, my starbucks, his cigs, and anything else that isn't for the whole family.

We both do have debit cards and use one account for all the bills and linked to the debit cards. I am pretty much the bill payer but he tells me everytime he uses the card or will leave me the receipt to deduct.

Do you have a credit card? You could have only him using the cc and then pay it off at the end of the month if you trust him not to charge an enormous amount on it.

Bottom line is that your husband needs to understand that everytime he just out spending money he is hurting your family.

 

[MALE*RN*777]

One checking account for us. I'm the threfty one of the two of us but the she is coming along. The day of payday the bills are paid first. Any money left over from the last paycheck is placed in savings. Little things we can buy but significant purchases are first discussed (usually anything over $50). She holds the check book and I occassionaly get money out of the ATM and I hand her the receipt but I'm always checking the balance. We are good at looking at what we would like and what is practical. A small house helps because we can't fit much more into it. I claim 0 exemptions on my taxes and have $5 extra for state and federal taken out each pay. We look forward to the big tax return at the end of the year for paying off the credit card and that years vacations. One RN income, boy in private school, two vehicles, morgage and we save better and are happier than people who make twice as much that we know.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Don't give him a debit card to the new account. Let him use a credit card and then automatically pay the credit card from your checking account each month.

Also wanted to say that your daughters are absolutely gorgeous!!

 

[poohandwendy]

Why not open a second account and not link it to a debit card at all? If it's at the same bank and the bank has online banking services, transferring money from one account to the other is free and instant. The second account could be a savings account or another checking account.

Then each time someone gets paid, you can either deposit straight into the second "holding" account or transfer the funds online. You can leave only spending money in the main account that has the debit card. Then when your SO uses the card, there is only a certain amount he can use.

That doesn't help with reconciling and getting receipts from him, but at least you will always have enough money to pay the bills.

This is what we do and BOY does it save tons of headaches and arguments.

We have one checking acct just for household bills that has no debit card attached to it, we also have another checking account with the same bank for spending money- this one we both have debit cards for and we have a savings acct there too.

We took an average of how much of our paychecks needed to go towards bills (with a cushion to account for extras) and decided on how much we wanted to regularly apply to our savings acct. Just to be clear, the bill account pays bills and only bills...not gas for the car, groceries, school clothes etc. That way, we know our spending money is IT...so when the money runs out, oh well!

When we make our deposits, we put a standard amount in the bill acct every week, another set amount into the savings acct and the rest goes into the spending (debit) acct. This system took a while to get used to, but now it works flawlessly.

Sounds like much more work than it really is. Once you get used to it, it becomes second nature.

 

[Honu]

When the bank sends new ATM/Debit cards, I cut DH's in half.

I'm actually serious. I don't give him a card. We keep a cash reserve at home and he gets cash from there. If he needed cash in an emergency, he could use cash advance from one of our credit cards or go into the bank. He's never had to do that though. We put almost everything on credit cards, for points.

 

[Chicago526]

Well, it's simple. DH doesn't have access to the checking account!

He has a credit card that he just charges to, and we pay that off when the bill comes in.

My parents had a similar set up, Mom would just give dad $20 (or how ever much) a week in cash, and she handled the bill paying. He hardly ever wrote a check for anything, and since he had to ask my mother for the check book, she knew when he was writing one out.

This isn't to say that DH and I (or my parents) don't make joint spending decisions, we do. All most everything major gets talked about prior to purchase. It's just that day to day, only one person has "access" to the bulk of the money. It's just what works for us.

 

[KirstenB]

We have one checking acct. The only checks I write anymore are for church, and things like field trips. Everything else goes on my one credit card. DH does a lot of online banking, and he has one credit card too. Honestly, he gave up trying to balance the acct because I was awful at giving him the check info. This was many years ago, before online banking.

Also, since I'm not the bill payer, nor do I want to be, I tend to spend way under our means. I tell dh if I am going to spend more than usual on something.