How do they do it?

[LisaInNc]

Gah! I really hope admissions counselors take local/regional trends into account with things like this. DD has her sights set on some pretty competitive schools but she's not going to work in high school. In our small town there are only a handful of employers that hire teens, fewer now than even 5 years ago because they're still getting dozens of adult applicants for every opening, and they expect open availability within the work limits for minors. Unless you can find a job working for family or a family friend it is work OR sports/activities, not both. Since DD is very active (multi-sport athlete, 4H, volunteering) I seriously doubt she'll be able to fit in a PT job.

How can admissions really know that? Unless you are from a large city how can you understand what it's like if you are the admissions counselor in a small place. Vice Versa do we expect someone from a large city to understand the small town politics sometimes of a child getting a job. They are going to look at what is on the application. No one is going to sit back and say uhhhh it's a small town and this child didn't work because it was difficult to get a job. I know it's harsh but it's the truth.

I was in every activity at school that would have me. I loved all of it. I got good grades and I also had a job because my Mother said to me if you want to drive you have to pay for the insurance. Not only did I find a job I found time to work it. Some weeks not at all some weeks more. I sold Christmas cards door to door, I worked in fast food, I scooped ice cream, babysat anytime anyone asked me.

I have a friend who has a 16 year old. Great grades. No job. Nothing to do during the summer except whine I am bored or spend the day playing video games.

My child works because I want her to understand what work is. I do not want an entitled child that gets everything paid for and graduates from a great university but then does not now how to take care of herself. My Mother was in admissions in a good solid University. I have heard some stories. I think every high school person should have some job at least in the summer. There ARE jobs, they just might be not a necessarily fun thing. I refuse to believe if your child has all of these contacts through her activities she can find SOMETHING of a job. At the very least babysitting? What about Camp Counselor, swimming guard, landscaper, restaurant etc. When I was 17 I worked at my church making dinner for the priest. Get creative you can find something. I once got paid to do laundry and walk dogs.

My daughter is in middle school and we have started with her first "real" job. Summers are for working and volunteering. Fall is for the sport she plays and winter and spring are for volunteering and other activities. She does not work every day it's a few hours a week but it's teaching her what it's like to do it when you don't want to, it teaches her the value of money. Volunteering is just a few hours a month too but it's teaching her so much that being a part of our community is a valuable thing. I don't have her in a sweat shop.

I am fully aware these competative school are looking at the entire picture. She has to be well rounded. Academics are only a part of it they want to see enterprise, activities, volunteering and community involvement.

What I said to my daughter this summer was this…. you can play video games, texting and reading all day or you can have a good time helping someone else AND making your "resume"look good. No one really gives a lot of credit for video gaming unless you are in that industry.

In less than 2 years she will be competing for a very competitive high school.

She likes the freedom of having her own money and I fully encourage her to earn that when she can. She found a volunteer program she likes and she enjoys it. There is an occasional groan when she has to get up for work on a summer morning but the satisfaction of getting paid at the end of the day is worth it to her.

To me her education is so much more than what happens in school or books.

So yes I "hope" admissions councelors will take into account how terribly busy our kids are but I can't help think what are we teaching the when we give the everything and don't teach them to work?


Lisa

 

[andersonsc]

What job does your daughter have in middle school? My son is currently looking but not much there for teens in our area.

 

[Lady V]

I understand what the OP is asking. My step-sons paid for all their own insurance as soon as they bought a car and got the license. They both worked pretty much as full time as a student could from the time they were old enough to do so. They were not involved in ANYTHING at school. I used to try to encourage them to work less so they could do stuff at school but they had no interest. I would have been happy to pay some if that meant they got more enjoyment out of high school.
Now, we are dealing with the exact opposite with my son and daughter. My son plays high school football and the training for that literally started the Monday after his basketball season ended in the Spring. He has weight training/conditioning every morning at 7:30 am M_F all summer and also now has 3 games a week. He also has had his basketball summer training and camps along with this football schedule. He wants a job very badly but the ONLY day he is available is Sunday and he can't find anything for just the one day a week. He also is in honors English so he has had summer school work. My daughter is only going into 8th grade but is on the high school color guard so she has been practicing all summer and will be required to be at all the band events for the high school this year
It's hard with all of these scenarios. I was very active in my high school and I want my kids to experience all those great things as well. At the same time I want them to be able to work some. My ultimate concern though with ALL my children is that they graduate and are good people who are ready to move onto college with a great high school experience!

 

[Mkrop]

Gah! I really hope admissions counselors take local/regional trends into account with things like this. DD has her sights set on some pretty competitive schools but she's not going to work in high school. In our small town there are only a handful of employers that hire teens, fewer now than even 5 years ago because they're still getting dozens of adult applicants for every opening, and they expect open availability within the work limits for minors. Unless you can find a job working for family or a family friend it is work OR sports/activities, not both. Since DD is very active (multi-sport athlete, 4H, volunteering) I seriously doubt she'll be able to fit in a PT job.

The kids whose pretend apps we were looking at did all the above, multisports and pt job. One student did put that he babysit his siblings after school and the admissions people said that helped with his app, so they knew what he was doing with his time. It showed responsibility. He also took AP classes. He was the one our group waitlisted. They said they would rather see volunteer work than no work. They also said they prefer to see longevity in activities, not quantity. Like dont do yearbook for a year, than the paper etc, from sophomore year on they should have one activity that they are dedicated to, now that doesnt mean they cant enjoy other things but they wanted to see them progressing in one of them. I found the seminar fascinating.


For those who have kids who are limited, they can try to do things for neighbors and start there on business, it doesnt have to be "formal" jobs. Also many nursing homes in our area work with the atheletes and they work on their off day. Like one of the stars of our local football team worked every Sunday morning(games were on Sat at his school) at the local nursing home in the kitchen during football season and they worked with him during the rest of the year as well.

 

[barkley]

I know this thread is primarily talking about high school aged kids, but for those with kids who are/will be away at college our insurance agent made a suggestion to us that can save $$$$ insurance wise. she said that if you have a kid that will be going away to school and NOT taking a car (with yearly campus parking permits running about $700 at one of our state universities, and other universities in our state including unlimited regional bus passes as part of the full time student benefits she said it's becoming more the norm), a parent/student can save a tremendous amount of money if the day they leave for the beginning of the school year mom/dad calls the agent and instructs them to drop them from the policy (and explain why). when they come home for a long enough break that they will be using the car (in our case that would be winter which lasts over a month b/c few come home for thanksgiving) have them added again only to drop them when they once again return. she said it can save about 9 months in premiums per year

 

[grafxgirl]

When I was in high school I worked in a clothing store at the mall, then once I was in college I worked at McDonald's to pay for everything.

My DH and I have two children, DD11 and DS8, we opened accounts for them when I was pregnant with them. All their money has been going into those accounts. They are old enough that they are understanding the value of money so they voluntarily put any money they get into their accounts. They both recently took some of that money to buy theirselves iPod Touches. They both already have cars in mind that they would like to have. DH has talked to the kids about car choices and they have worked out something that is what they like, yet reliable and not super expensive according to my DH. I would like for them to have part time jobs during the school year and something with more hours during the summer months. I think if they have to work for it and pay for it then they are going to be more likely to take care of it and drive it more responsibly because if something happens to it they will have to repair it.

 

[grafxgirl]

Situations are going to be different. So, for some kids it is going to be next to impossible, for some not a problem at all.

DD's school is 45-60 minutes away from the closest town in which to hold a job. With choir and the 3 ensembles she is in plus the training she does, it would be really hard.

She gets out of school at 3:15 so could get to a job about 5 and she could work the maximum allowed on those nights. BUT, she would have to be off on the nights of practice and Saturday nights for training. Plus there are 10 performances scheduled now in the first semester and more being added to the calendar that would all require her to be off. District and State will both require her to be off work. And spring break the choir will travel so will require a week off there plus all of the performances in the second semester.

Due to all of this, we sat down with a calendar and "guess"timated at how many days in one semester she could actually work. And how many hours she would get vs the cost of gas getting from school to work (we live about half way in between) rather than to home and it just wouldn't really pay for her to work. And it would depend on her getting a very understanding boss.

So, we came to an agreement that we will pay all expenses on the vehicle she will get when she gets her license through the school year. Next year, when school is out, she can work full time through the summer and she will need to put enough back to pay her insurance and extra gas (I will pay for gas to and from school) through her senior year.



We did the same thing with both of our sons. Oldest ds played baseball and had practice every single day. It just would not have paid for him to try and work during school. It was hard during the summer but he mowed yards so he could rearrange things himself when he needed to be off for baseball.

Younger ds worked his junior and senior years. He wasn't involved in anything those years.

This is a great compromise when time and distance doesn't allow it during the school year. You are still giving your children a role in paying for their own expenses and letting them know what is expected of them.

 

[grafxgirl]

kids do it all the time, I remember doing it. seems like the difference now vs. when I went to school is how extra curriculars are structured at some schools. at our high school choirs and bands are classes during the school day so that doesn't eat up any time beyond the normal school day (except jazz band which is zero period so it starts around 7:15 a.m.). with the exception of sports/cheer, most others meet during lunch-knowledge bowl, honor society, Spanish club....

school lets out at 3:10, so if a kid doesn't do a sport they could get a job from 4-8, and just working Monday-Friday get in 20 hours per week. if they can get one that swings them some weekend hours as well it's icing on the cake. getting off work at 8, many do homework until 10:30 or 11 similar to their athletic counterparts whose practices and games can go till 8 or 9. our minimum wage is $9.32 an hour, so just working 20 hours a week could net around $700 a month (we don't have state income taxes). kids who work these jobs can well afford to save for a car, and then pay for gas and insurance.

Where I live, the rate of pay is also pretty high for teens. They can make between 9 and 12 dollars an hour, depending on the job.

 

[sarahmae3]

I payed for all of that as a teenager, and still managed to get good grades, and participate in cheer-leading, and get into college... granted, this was 15 years ago. I worked part-time during the school year, and full-time during the summers and just saved up as much money as I could. I also still had enough spending money to go to the movies, buy clothes, cd's and the like.

 

[grafxgirl]

The kids whose pretend apps we were looking at did all the above, multisports and pt job. One student did put that he babysit his siblings after school and the admissions people said that helped with his app, so they knew what he was doing with his time. It showed responsibility. He also took AP classes. He was the one our group waitlisted. They said they would rather see volunteer work than no work. They also said they prefer to see longevity in activities, not quantity. Like dont do yearbook for a year, than the paper etc, from sophomore year on they should have one activity that they are dedicated to, now that doesnt mean they cant enjoy other things but they wanted to see them progressing in one of them. I found the seminar fascinating.


For those who have kids who are limited, they can try to do things for neighbors and start there on business, it doesnt have to be "formal" jobs. Also many nursing homes in our area work with the atheletes and they work on their off day. Like one of the stars of our local football team worked every Sunday morning(games were on Sat at his school) at the local nursing home in the kitchen during football season and they worked with him during the rest of the year as well.

Like the nursing homes, child care centers are willing to work with teens. I work for a preschool that is open from 6:30 am-6:30 pm. We hire teens to come in and work for us after school for a few hours during the week so our full-time early morning staff can leave earlier to spend late afternoons and evenings with their families. It pays pretty well too. This is a great job for anyone thinking about teaching or childcare. We have a summer camp program during the summer months for children ages 5-12. We hire teens to come in and help us on field trip days and swimming pool days because we need the extra eyes and ears. The little kids love having the teens around!!

 

[Hrhpd]

I was reading the thread on when you have your kids start paying their own car insurance and some people were saying as soon as they got their license.

I'm wondering how a high school kid who is in school can work enough hours making minimum wage to earn enough to pay for a car, car insurance, and gasoline like some parents ask them to do. On top of that, how do they have time to do homework and study? I guess extracurriculars are out? Do colleges these days put a fair amount of weight on extracurriculars when considering a college application?

Do these kids ever sleep?

We never made our kids pay for their own insurance, etc. We considered school their full time job. When I was growing up, this was the norm. I can't remember a single friend who had a job during high school.

Our kids were responsible and did have jobs over the summer where they earned spending money for the rest of the year, but we always paid for the big ticket items.

Even in college, we paid for everything. Our oldest was in an engineering program that didn't allow more than 10 hours per week in an outside job. Definitely wouldn't pay for gas/insurance/phone.

It all worked out. He graduated last year on a Friday, started a great job the following Monday. Of the 300 that started the engineering program, only 30 something finished, mostly the kids who had full parental support that allowed them to do the program without having to work more than those 10 hours allowed. And all 30 of them went on to extremely well paid jobs with recruiters hounding them their senior year.

I don't regret a minute of financially supporting our children through college. The investment was well worth it! They didn't need to be forced to pay their way as a teen to learn responsibility. Focusing on school was also learning responsibility.

Our youngest child is entering a similar engineering program and we will fully support him too. He has a job right now, but we are encouraging him to quit as it is interfering with his football and his varsity starter position is much more important on a college app than the job.

 

[Hrhpd]

As a high school teacher, I can tell you that a whole lot of kids put school on the back burner once they turn 16 and want to drive. Choices I see over and over:

- Kids drop back from Honors level to General level so they don't have to work so hard in school. A smart kid in a General level class won't have much homework or studying. Many kids no longer shoot for the A, but decide that a C is okay. Kids also opt to take fewer classes, which means they're missing out on the chance to try their hand at pottery or Electrical trades, which can be excellent life experiences. Typically juniors and seniors miss more days of school than do freshmen and sophomores -- and sometimes that is because they're working late the night before. In general, kids who work lots of hours are just less invested in high school.
- Kids drop extra activities; for example, our high school band is made up almost exclusively of freshmen and sophomores. Most juniors and seniors drop this type of activity, which requires a great deal of time.

As for colleges and extra-activities, if you're talking about a typical college -- not a very prestigious school -- extras neither help nor hurt with admission. But extras make all the difference in scholarships.

I do see students who work part-time jobs AND remain full entrenched in high school. A perfect teen job would 1) be fewer than 12-15 hours a week. 2) would require no late night hours. 3) would provide some help for the future; for example, working part-time at the vet is better than flipping burgers. However, few kids find such ideal jobs. Overall, I see more kids who are hurt by part time jobs than are helped.

Exactly.

We find allowing our children to consider school and extra curriculars their job is actually a huge investment in their future.

Of course, we have been lucky in that our children are of the same mindset that school is their #1 priority. I might have a different outlook if my kids were not school motivated.

 

[NewRVLady]

We never made our kids pay for their own insurance, etc. We considered school their full time job. When I was growing up, this was the norm. I can't remember a single friend who had a job during high school.
.

Even in college, we paid for everything. Our oldest was in an engineering program that didn't allow more than 10 hours per week in an outside job. Definitely wouldn't pay for gas/insurance/phone.

It all worked out. He graduated last year on a Friday, started a great job the following Monday. Of the 300 that started the engineering program, only 30 something finished, mostly the kids who had full parental support that allowed them to do the program without having to work more than those 10 hours allowed. And all 30 of them went on to extremely well paid jobs with recruiters hounding them their senior year.

.

EXACTLY!! Parents who brag about their kids working and paying for everything are kidding themselves. School suffers.

Congrats to your son-My niece is a Chemical Engineer and worked summers at a Merck Pharmaceuticals-they grabbed her with amazing job offer after graduating.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We never made our kids pay for their own insurance, etc. We considered school their full time job. When I was growing up, this was the norm. I can't remember a single friend who had a job during high school.

Our kids were responsible and did have jobs over the summer where they earned spending money for the rest of the year, but we always paid for the big ticket items.

Even in college, we paid for everything. Our oldest was in an engineering program that didn't allow more than 10 hours per week in an outside job. Definitely wouldn't pay for gas/insurance/phone.

It all worked out. He graduated last year on a Friday, started a great job the following Monday. Of the 300 that started the engineering program, only 30 something finished, mostly the kids who had full parental support that allowed them to do the program without having to work more than those 10 hours allowed. And all 30 of them went on to extremely well paid jobs with recruiters hounding them their senior year.

I don't regret a minute of financially supporting our children through college. The investment was well worth it! They didn't need to be forced to pay their way as a teen to learn responsibility. Focusing on school was also learning responsibility.

Our youngest child is entering a similar engineering program and we will fully support him too. He has a job right now, but we are encouraging him to quit as it is interfering with his football and his varsity starter position is much more important on a college app than the job.

To be clear, I think there's a big difference between having a Summer only job and having NO job. I had many friends who worked little to no hours DURING the school year (and a few who worked year round including school nights as well as weekends). But, I had very, very few friends who had NO job in HS.

 

[Hrhpd]

How can admissions really know that? Unless you are from a large city how can you understand what it's like if you are the admissions counselor in a small place. Vice Versa do we expect someone from a large city to understand the small town politics sometimes of a child getting a job. They are going to look at what is on the application. No one is going to sit back and say uhhhh it's a small town and this child didn't work because it was difficult to get a job. I know it's harsh but it's the truth.

I was in every activity at school that would have me. I loved all of it. I got good grades and I also had a job because my Mother said to me if you want to drive you have to pay for the insurance. Not only did I find a job I found time to work it. Some weeks not at all some weeks more. I sold Christmas cards door to door, I worked in fast food, I scooped ice cream, babysat anytime anyone asked me.

I have a friend who has a 16 year old. Great grades. No job. Nothing to do during the summer except whine I am bored or spend the day playing video games.

My child works because I want her to understand what work is. I do not want an entitled child that gets everything paid for and graduates from a great university but then does not now how to take care of herself. My Mother was in admissions in a good solid University. I have heard some stories. I think every high school person should have some job at least in the summer. There ARE jobs, they just might be not a necessarily fun thing. I refuse to believe if your child has all of these contacts through her activities she can find SOMETHING of a job. At the very least babysitting? What about Camp Counselor, swimming guard, landscaper, restaurant etc. When I was 17 I worked at my church making dinner for the priest. Get creative you can find something. I once got paid to do laundry and walk dogs.

My daughter is in middle school and we have started with her first "real" job. Summers are for working and volunteering. Fall is for the sport she plays and winter and spring are for volunteering and other activities. She does not work every day it's a few hours a week but it's teaching her what it's like to do it when you don't want to, it teaches her the value of money. Volunteering is just a few hours a month too but it's teaching her so much that being a part of our community is a valuable thing. I don't have her in a sweat shop.

I am fully aware these competative school are looking at the entire picture. She has to be well rounded. Academics are only a part of it they want to see enterprise, activities, volunteering and community involvement.

What I said to my daughter this summer was this…. you can play video games, texting and reading all day or you can have a good time helping someone else AND making your "resume"look good. No one really gives a lot of credit for video gaming unless you are in that industry.

In less than 2 years she will be competing for a very competitive high school.

She likes the freedom of having her own money and I fully encourage her to earn that when she can. She found a volunteer program she likes and she enjoys it. There is an occasional groan when she has to get up for work on a summer morning but the satisfaction of getting paid at the end of the day is worth it to her.

To me her education is so much more than what happens in school or books.

So yes I "hope" admissions councelors will take into account how terribly busy our kids are but I can't help think what are we teaching the when we give the everything and don't teach them to work?


Lisa

I disagree 100%.

A child whose job is school and extra curriculars is not immediately destined to be an entitled spoiled adult with no way of providing for themselves.

I have found exactly the opposite to be true.

While a job year round works for some kids, for some kids it just doesn't. They have other priorities that also teach them the value of hard work. May not be monetary, but it still teaches responsibility and the rewards of hard work.

 

[NewRVLady]

My kids did not work in High School-went to a very competitive College prep school. Had to maintain a certain grade average and harder/more courses to get the College scholarship our state offers-that was more important than slinging hash or flipping burgers .

Both had full scholarship thru college

One was a waiter in College to pay for apartment-we paid insurance, helped with food etc-He now owns his home and is regional sales manager for one of the Top Companies in our area. Last fall he took 2 top clients duck hunting at Big Boss's deluxe duck camp-pic there of vice President Dick Cheney who also hunted there.

Other had extremely long hours in his major (Computer design)and lived at home-only worked one semester and it was too much.
He is now a Senior Designer at his firm-I don't begrudge him not working at all-so very proud of his success...

 

[pat fan]

EXACTLY!! Parents who brag about their kids working and paying for everything are kidding themselves. School suffers.

LOL, okay, but I think if you saw my kids transcripts you'd agree nothing in their school work "suffered".

 

[Mkrop]

EXACTLY!! Parents who brag about their kids working and paying for everything are kidding themselves. School suffers.
Congrats to your son-My niece is a Chemical Engineer and worked summers at a Merck Pharmaceuticals-they grabbed her with amazing job offer after graduating.

wasnt the case with me and so far DS16 is doing just fine, and there are tons of kids around here who I know who graduated from high school, had pt jobs, graduated with high honors and NHS, and were accepted to some pretty prestigious schools and programs.

I will make sure I tell the parents of the valedictorian who worked as a nanny and then at Dairy Queen through high school, and who was heavily involved in many school activities that her parents did it all wrong, or the girl next door who graduated 4th in her class, played soccer and lax, will play lax in college was accepted to a very presitgious PT program that her job as a basketball ref has ruined her schooling

Maybe some kids cant handle it and maybe the right type of job is key but I think that many kids can handle it all.

 

[Mkrop]

My kids did not work in High School-went to a very competitive College prep school. Had to maintain a certain grade average and harder/more courses to get the College scholarship our state offers-that was more important than slinging hash or flipping burgers .

Both had full scholarship thru college

One was a waiter in College to pay for apartment-we paid insurance, helped with food etc-He now owns his home and is regional sales manager for one of the Top Companies in our area. Last fall he took 2 top clients duck hunting at Big Boss's deluxe duck camp-pic there of vice President Dick Cheney who also hunted there.

Other had extremely long hours in his major (Computer design)and lived at home-only worked one semester and it was too much.
He is now a Senior Designer at his firm-I don't begrudge him not working at all-so very proud of his success...

once again attending a competitive prep hs is pretty commom place around, both girls I mentioned before attended them and so does DS16.

 

[Hrhpd]

To be clear, I think there's a big difference between having a Summer only job and having NO job. I had many friends who worked little to no hours DURING the school year (and a few who worked year round including school nights as well as weekends). But, I had very, very few friends who had NO job in HS.

It must be all where you live. Kids with jobs were few and far between when I grew up. You kind of felt sorry for the kids who couldn't hang out because they had to work.

We now live in a very academically driven area. Last poll of the town showed that the majority of residents not only have college degrees, but also graduate degrees. Most of the kids my kids hang out with have parents with the same focus, school and extras come before a high school job. It is just the culture around here. It is not wrong, right, just different.

And we must live in an alternate universe because you just don't see the kids sitting in the basement playing video games when there is no job in the summer. I am sure there are some, but it is not the norm. If they are not at sports/extras, they are forever going swimming, working out at the rec center, or lately, have developed a weird obsession with bowling.

My HS kid does have a summer job. But as I said, we are highly encouraging him to give his 2 weeks notice.

He swims from 6am - 8am M-F for swim team. 8:30-11 M-F, lifting and speed/agility drills for HS football. Football again in the afternoons. Saturdays are swim meets. The football team does a ton of community service, so he has those commitments, not to mention the community service requirements to keep his NHS membership. He also has AP summer homework that needs to be worked on.

Leaves very, very little time for a job if he still wants to have some sort of childhood.

And frankly, a good part of it is that we are selfish. We happen to like to do weekend family activities. Summer jobs get in the way of our family time. Our kid had to work over the 4th of July weekend. Really put a damper on our long weekend plans.