How do I make amends with DD's classmate's parents?

[DisneyLovingMama]

DD did something to another girl in class today. As a result, it could have financial implications. How do I make amends?

I thought of writing the mom a note, apologizing, explaining DD's been punished and the incident has been discussed thoroughly, then offering to pay whatever the financial ramifications.

My one problem is I don't know the child's last name. So, would I just address it to XX's Mom?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[TwingleMum]

You poor thing , you 're not having a good few weeks. Did you fix the cars yet?? Could you tell alittle more? What did DD break?? Sorry I don't mean to pry, its hard to know what to suggest.

 

[Papa Deuce]

DD did something to another girl in class today. As a result, it could have financial implications. How do I make amends?

I thought of writing the mom a note, apologizing, explaining DD's been punished and the incident has been discussed thoroughly, then offering to pay whatever the financial ramifications.

My one problem is I don't know the child's last name. So, would I just address it to XX's Mom?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

All good ideas... ask the teacher the classmate's last name.

 

[clh2]

While I know your intentions are good, I would be careful about offers for the financial piece. Your idea of what is appropriate may not be the same as the other families. I hope that makes sense.

I can't imagine anything that my DD could have gotten wrecked that I would want to be or feel comfortable being reimbursed for. If it would have been something that would have resulted in a Dr. appointment, we have insurance for that, so again,would not need to

You don't mention your daughter's age, or anything about the incident. My personal opinion would be an apology note from your daughter would be much more appropriate than you writing one.

Good Luck!

 

[aprilgail2]

While I

I can't imagine anything that my DD could have gotten wrecked that I would want to be or feel comfortable being reimbursed for. If it would have been something that would have resulted in a Dr. appointment, we have insurance for that, so again,would not need to


Good Luck!

My friends son broke another childs glasses...they were taken to small clamis court and made to pay for them! And this was in second grade!

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

DD5 cut the other girl's hair during arts and crafts time. Took two inches off the front. I have no idea why - the only answer I got (besides I don't know) was that DD thought the hair looked messy and she wanted to fix it. I figured the girl will need a haircut, so I could reimburse for that.

As for the cars, I got mine fixed ($367). The truck has $1200 damage. Not sure how that's going to play out now.

 

[mudnuri]

how old are the kids?

 

[etink67]

I think a written note from you daughter would be nice. I am sure the parents would appreciate that she understands what she did was wrong and will like that you took the matter seriously. If you really wanted to reimburse them you could include a gift certificate for a local hair salon.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Their both five. DD doesn't really write - she could possibly copy something I've written, but it would be obvious I coached her completely.

 

[Beth76]

DLM, I would talk to your daughter's teacher and see if she has any advice on what to offer. If it were my son (whose hair got cut) I think I would be happy with a note of apology or a phone call. Honestly, in this case I would just be thrilled that it wasn't my son who did it. I wouldn't expect or probably even accept money for a haircut.

 

[MandM-Mom]

Doesn't every child cut another ones hair or there own at some point?? I would apologize and kids are kids, the teacher is the one that was in charge of supervising the children., why should you beat yourself up over it worrying, accidents happen. But thats just my opinion, I would understand if it happened to my 5 year old.

 

[Lisa AF]

I would contact the parents and apologize and send a gift card for a h/c along with maybe a manicure (all little girls love them). I wouldn't ask the parents, I would just send it. If they don't want to use it that's up to them but they won't feel they have to politely refuse it. A special day out might make the little girl feel better.

These things happen, don't let it bother you to much.

 

[lbgraves]

Oh my goodness! At that age, I wouldn't be worked up about this. I was picturing such a worse situation. I would apologize to the mother but that is probably all that is necessary. Oh...I would also keep ALL scissors out of your DD's reach so that she doesn't try that at home on herself or you.

 

[golfgal]

I would contact the parents and apologize and send a gift card for a h/c along with maybe a manicure (all little girls love them). I wouldn't ask the parents, I would just send it. If they don't want to use it that's up to them but they won't feel they have to politely refuse it. A special day out might make the little girl feel better.

These things happen, don't let it bother you to much.

That is a perfect solution. Your dd is NOT the first child that has done this and if she only took a bit off, isn't as bad as it could be. A couple years ago a friend's son didn't like a girls pig tails and cut them off-her hair was about 2" long after that. It grew back. They are 5 and they don't understand these things.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I like the idea of a gift card - just need to find a place around here that does kiddie manicures - most don't let kids under 12 in their nail area. Do you think it'll be okay if I wait until Monday to give the note/card? That way, I can find out her last name and stuff?

What should I do if I see the Mom tomorrow? We sometimes pick up/ drop off at the same time.

Thanks.

 

[lewdyan1]

MY DD's hair was cut in Pre-K. As a parent I was upset for about an hour, then I took pictures and we still chuckle about it. I really wouldn't worry to much, the GC idea was great!

 

[disykat]

I think the gift card for a haircut is a great idea. I'd skip the manicure though.

 

[Kallison]

Don't beat yourself up, they are only 5. I'll never forget when my one niece cut her sister's hair. My SIL called up so hysterical crying and screaming and gasping for air that I thought one of the kids was seriously hurt. When I finally got the story out of her I laughed hysterically, I mean that is not the end of the world, and I think all kids go through that phase. Thank goodness she didn't hurt with the sisters. I don't think she was being malicious, just doing some real life "Barbie" doll type styling! Personally I would just call the MOm, but some parents are nut cases. I would ask the teacher what she thought was best.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but it is kind of humorous.

My DS tried to cut off his hair in preschool because he said it was sticking up "like Woodstock" and he was trying to fix it. Luckily he couldn't work the scissors well enough to snip off his own hair.

One of the boys I used to nanny cut off a HUGE chunk of his bangs one day. He was in Kindergarten. He was sitting at the kitchen table and I turned my back for a minute. Next thing I know there is hair all over the floor and a BIG piece of his bangs are missing. Down to the roots. It eventually grew back.

I would probably talk with the teacher first and get the name of the child's mom. An apology would be nice, but I don't think anything else is necessary. Some schools don't even tell the "victims" parents the name of the child that committed the offense, but 5 year olds are perfectly capable of telling their parents who did what to whom. One of my previous charges was a biter and the school never told his victims who it was that was biting, but they were younger.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Just as DD told me whose hair she cut, I'm sure the girl told her parents who cut her hair. The school doesn't tell.

The school also doesn't tell last names or phone numbers and the school directory for this year is still being formed (and voluntary).

I'll talk to the teacher tomorrow and see what she suggests. She might have a better idea about how upset the mother was.