How do I make amends with DD's classmate's parents?

[Microcell]

Hey! My neice owes me 10 bucks!

I would ask the teacher for the name and call or write a note. I would also make my DD apologize by phone or something.

 

[Meezers]

Okay...I admit I have no children and very spoiled cats.

But isn't this like a rite of passage for 5 year olds? I remember my brother and his friend took turns!

 

[aprilgail2]

reminds me of a something my neighbor was just telling me...her neice was at her friends house, they were both 5 1/2, and the little girl told the other to trim her bangs..well my friends neice did and the mother walked in and was furious at the neice...she put her on a time out bench, handed her daughter the sister and told her "now cut her hair!" and the kid took big chunks out like her mom told her too.....I was appalled! I think I would have went over and ripped that womans head off....as it was the neices mother called the police on the other mother after that stunt!!
If it was just a hair trim that your daughter did to mine, especially at your daughters age,I wouldn't expect anything other than a apology...its part of growing up...

 

[ElizaB39]

Rite of passage. You could have DD draw a pretty picture of the girl and a nice hair do! JK about the pic of the nice do, but since DD can't really write anything on her own, a drawing or a manageable craft might be nice. Hey, they might end up being best friends and laugh about this for the rest of their friendship.

Anyway would you be willing to let the other kid take a pair of scissors to DD's hair just to "even" the bangs, I mean score?

just kidding, but my lil sis has really groovy looking bangs in one school pic, wonder why? It WASN"T me I swear.

Chin up, I had pcitured DD actually physically hurting (biting or scratching) someone. If the other parent;s have any empathy, you could tell the story that DD thought her hair was messy and she wanted to fix it. I think I would laugh about it.

Deep breath, hair grows back!

 

[ElizaB39]

aprilgal I posted before I saw your post. I hope I didn't offend or upset you with my comment about letting the other kid cut the OP's hair.

 

[PaulaSue]

I think the GC would be a nice gesture as well as a little note.

I would be heart broken if someone cut anyone of my DDs hair. All have very long hair and only my almost 7 year old has had one trim at 5.

 

[CherCrazy]

Is this your oldest child? Get ready for years of crazy things happening that there is no logical explanation for!!

 

[Pete's Mom]

Think about what you would want if another child did this to your DD.

I think a very heartfelt apology and reassurance that your daughter had been disciplined would be enough for me.

 

[aprilgail2]

aprilgal I posted before I saw your post. I hope I didn't offend or upset you with my comment about letting the other kid cut the OP's hair.

LOL...nope.. I have a sense of humor LOL! It would be different if she LET the kid cut her daughters hair...my firends neice just showed up with it chopped up!

 

[jenny2]

Oh boy, you've had one heck of a week woman! Like the others have said... she's 5... these things happen. That does not make it right, but you've handled it appropriately. However, now that I understand what she did that made your DH so mad... he SOOOO overreacted. {{{Hugs to you}}}

 

[heart4pooh]

A child cut my son's finger with scissors in first grade. We had to pick him up from school and take him to the doctor's because the teacher thought it was deep enough to need stitches. It didn't need stitches and believe it or not they didn't charge for the office visit. The teacher took full responsibility and I never heard from the other parent.

 

[graygables]

I would be very careful about offering any kind of monetary anything. That could be misconstrued and if the parents did take you to court, it is an admission of guilt on your part. I know that sounds incredibly paranoid, but crazier things have happened!

I would arrange a face-to-face "I'm sorry-I forgive you" moment, but that's it. I'd also be sure that my child never EVER had the opportunity to do that again, plus understands the very serious consequences (it actually can be charged as an assault) I'd also want to know where the adult supervision was at the time this happened. That would be my biggest concern.

BTW, I have 4 DDs, never cut anyone's hair, never had theirs cut, so I don't think it is necessarily a "rite of passage" and I would NOT find anything "cute" about it.

 

[geetey]

Personally, if my child's hair was cut, I would be upset with the teacher! Why weren't the children being supervised better when they were handling scissors? I wouldn't think badly of the other child - they are just 5.

My ds, while in kindergarten, tried and successed in cutting his uniform shirt. He said he wanted to see how many different things the safety scissors could cut. Kids - you gotta love 'em.

I do think a picture by your dd would be a nice gesture. Talk to the mom if you see her at school. If you avoid her, it make her feel worse.

 

[golfgal]

Personally, if my child's hair was cut, I would be upset with the teacher! Why weren't the children being supervised better when they were handling scissors? I wouldn't think badly of the other child - they are just 5.

You haven't spent much time in a kindergarten room, have you?

 

[MeanLaureen]

I would have your daughter write the note even if it is barely legible and completely coached by you. I think that would show the mother that you really brought the message through to your daughter that what she did was wrong. Plus it will drive the message home to your daughter that when you do something to someone else, you make amends. She won't know the value of a haircut gift card.

Also, on the idea of the gift card, unless you know this family and know where they go to have their hair cut, it might not go over as well. Some people are very set on their ways with certain salons and won't want to go somewhere else. Plus the mother more than likely already took her child to have her hair evened out if it wasn't something she could do herself.

I would take your daughter to ToysRUs or some place like that and help her select a gift to give to the girl whose hair she cut. Nothing huge - something on the Barbie price range. To me, that would make amends between two 5 yr olds more than a gift card to have a hair cut.

 

[Serena]

I think an apology is enough, but the teacher would be able to give you more info about that.

It's ok. It's just a kid thing, nothing major.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

When I read your other thread and you said she did something "Really Bad", I pictured a middle school student spray-painting a teacher's car or something.

SHE IS 5 and its HAIR!

An apology would be nice and should be sufficient. Do you have any reason to think that the parents are "off the hook” mad about this. I don't think I would be, at least not for long. You don't have a problem child on your hands. You have enough to worry about, don't sweat this.

 

[Certifiable WDW Nut]

How about a small donation (equal to the gc) to Katrina victims in the girl's name? I don't think that could be an admission of guilt and charitable giving would probably make everyone feel better. Just an idea.

 

[geetey]

You haven't spent much time in a kindergarten room, have you?

I actually spent a lot of time in both of my children's K classes. There is one teacher and 1 aide for 20 kids (at our school), plus typically a parent volunteer. Despite all of this, my ds still managed to cut his uniform shirt, as I mentioned above. It didn't stop me from asking the teacher what was going on. She was new to teaching and had no idea 5 yr olds would be interested in cutting things besides paper. She didn't even know about his shirt but made sure she was much more careful with the scissors after that.

 

[phorsenuf]

Truthfully I don't think I would do anything except make your daughter apologize to the little girl if she hasn't already. If the mother hasn't called or contacted you about it then no big deal. I don't think compensation is in order unless the mother makes a fuss about it.
Its just one of those things that little kids do.